by Lucy Lennox
I wanted to rip Jon and the beefcake in half for putting my sister’s private life in jeopardy that way, but I knew what was done, was done. The only way out was through.
After sending another email to my assistant, Lucas, letting him know I’d be back in the office later tomorrow, I realized I hadn’t seen Felix in hours. I looked up from the desk I’d been sitting at and saw I wasn’t alone.
Arthur sat calmly in a leather chair opposite me.
“How long have you been sitting there?” I asked.
“Since right after I overheard Hen tell Jon she was worried about Felix. Apparently you said something stupid in front of him, and he’s been quiet ever since.”
My stomach dropped. “Why? What did I say?”
“Something about a royal personage sleeping with a commoner as if the very idea was disgusting?” His eyebrow raised in accusation. The man wasn’t subtle when he thought I’d done something wrong.
“Ugh, Arthur. I didn’t mean him. Surely he knew I was just upset.”
Again with the eyebrow.
“Lio, may I make a suggestion?”
“You’re going to anyway,” I mumbled. “Go ahead.”
“Your sister is a grown woman with her own staff. Let her handle her situation the way she sees fit. Until you are the actual head of the family and on the throne, it’s really not your place to go off half-cocked like you did today.”
“But I—”
“Save it,” he said calmly, holding up a hand. “Do you know what Hen did today while you yelled at everyone back home?”
“No.”
“She stayed in her pajamas and cried through a bunch of chick flicks on television while eating an army’s worth of carbohydrates.”
It didn’t surprise me. “Yeah? And?”
“And Felix was right there next to her the entire time, consoling her, bringing her snacks, and making sure she had a fresh stack of tissues handy.”
I pressed my fist into my chest and felt my throat tighten. “Dammit,” I whispered.
“Go find him, sir,” he said gently.
I always knew when Arthur was done lecturing me because he would throw in an honorific to put us back on official footing.
“Thank you, Arthur. I owe you one. You’re a true friend.” The words were sincere even when I tacked on another few. “Sorry I had to fire your boy toy.”
He shrugged. “Meh. He was hardly a ten. Better luck next time. I think you should let me help with the interviews,” he said as he turned and wandered out of my office.
I made my way out of the room behind him and found Mari baking some bread in the kitchen.
“Have you seen Felix?”
Mari narrowed her eyes at me before exchanging significant eye contact with her husband.
“Not since I served him lunch a couple of hours ago. He might be back in his room packing,” she said.
“Packing?” I asked before I realized what she meant. “Oh shit.”
“Yeah, oh shit,” Bert muttered. “Seems to me you’ve got some explaining to do, son.”
My heart dropped into my stomach. Bert stood up from the heavy table and rinsed his tea mug in the sink before kissing Mari on the cheek and heading for the door. Before reaching it, he turned back to me with a rare scowl.
“That there is a nice man, Lio. He doesn’t deserve to be on the used end of this mess. He came here to discover Gadleigh’s unique treasure—to fall in love with it in person. Shame what he fell for didn’t turn out to be the glass.”
When he left, he seemed to take something of mine with him. I felt gutted and breathless, desperate and off balance. Felix was leaving in the morning, and there was fuck all I could do about it.
I made my way through the door Bert had just used and walked the short distance to the carriage house. Without looking behind me, I knew one of the royal guards had followed me out of the kitchen. Two of them had been sitting at the table with Bert and Mari when I’d walked in.
When I reached the carriage house and ascended the staircase, I found the door to the guest apartment propped open with a chair. I knocked on the doorframe rather than striding directly in without permission. Had it been like that the day before, I would have walked straight in. But this was different. Everything had changed since that morning, and things felt awkward as hell.
“Felix?” I called.
“In here.” The voice came from the bedroom, so I followed it. He was folding clothes and stacking them inside his suitcase with precision. Just the sight of the suitcase made my stomach ache.
“Hey,” I said, trying to act cool even though I knew I was failing miserably. “The door was open.” As if he hadn’t known that. What the hell was my problem? I’d never had a hard time talking to him before.
“Yeah, I accidentally turned the heat up instead of down before I left the room yesterday, and it was stifling when I got back.”
I realized he hadn’t spent much time in his room for the past couple of days since he’d been spending every spare moment with me and sleeping in my bed inside the main house.
Felix continued folding clothes.
“Ah, sorry I raced out this morning,” I began. “Things were—”
He cut me off. “It’s fine.”
More packing. I felt my back teeth grind together in frustration and my eyes prickle.
“It’s not fine. Felix, will you stop for a minute and talk to me, please?” Something in my voice sounded wobbly, and I swallowed in an attempt to squelch it.
He slowly placed the last T-shirt on the stack and turned to face me.
“I’m sorry about your sister,” he said. The man was so fucking sweet, and that was not helping the wobbly bits inside of me.
“It’ll be fine,” I lied. Felix’s beautiful face twisted into an expression that called me on my bullshit—one eyebrow raised.
“No it won’t,” he said. “It’ll suck. The media will devour her. You have to keep her away from them, Lio. They’ll call her all kinds of names. They hold her to a higher standard, and you know it. Try not to let her see it. No matter how strong you think you are, the poison still seeps in.”
I thought about what it must be like to be the only son of a woman who’s just as well known for her porn films as her box-office-smashing ones. The press must have been brutal when they learned she had a child with no father. I couldn’t imagine what that had done to Felix’s sense of self-worth.
“I’ll try to protect her.” As far as promises went, it was a lame one. “Why are you packing already?”
Felix looked down at his suitcase and up at me again with confusion clear on his face. “I’m leaving in twelve hours, Lio. When did you expect me to pack?”
“Twelve hours?” The panic in my gut reared its ugly head again and stole my breath. “What? What do you mean? I thought you were leaving tomorrow morning?”
Felix reached out a hand to cup the side of my face. Without realizing it, I closed my eyes against the familiar comfort of his touch and leaned into it.
“Lio, it’s after seven. I leave at six thirty tomorrow morning.”
“No,” I breathed. “I’m not ready to say goodbye to you.”
I moved forward into his arms and tucked my face into the side of his neck. The warm thrum of his pulse pushed against my cheek.
“Felix,” I begged. “Please don’t go yet.”
Chapter 24
Felix
The whimper against my skin almost brought me to my knees. If Lio had any idea how much I wanted to stay with him, he’d run screaming back home to take the throne with pleasure just to get away from his crazy stalker. It was already taking all of my self-control not to change my travel plans and stay longer.
But I’d heard through the castle grapevine that he was leaving the following day as well, so there was no point in me extending my stay. The man had important work to do, not to mention the incredible responsibility of taking the throne if what he’d implied was true. I couldn’t even imagine wh
at it would feel like to know it was almost your turn at bat in a position like that.
Liorland wasn’t like some other monarchies. The sitting king had an active role in running the country. It wasn’t just a figurehead position there. I’d learned over the past week that Lio had spent years of education and training preparing to lead the country after his dad’s death, but I also knew he’d never in a million years thought that time would come so soon because of his father choosing to retire instead.
I couldn’t imagine the heavy load of stress on his shoulders, and it was that thought that helped me realize what I needed to do.
“Come on. I want to go have a cup of tea in the treasury room,” I said, gently extracting him from my embrace. “Will you join me?”
I saw a spark of interest in his eyes. “Of course. Can we stop by the kitchen for something sweet to take with us?”
How could I not laugh? The prince of Liorland had just asked me permission to grab some cookies from his own castle kitchens.
“Yes, Lio. You can have some cookies with your tea,” I teased.
“Shut up. I didn’t eat dinner,” he said with a pout.
Once we had our snacks, I led Lio to the red salon and through the secret panel to his hideaway. As I knelt and pressed the stained glass crown jewel, I tried so hard not to think about the fact it would be the last time I’d ever get to do it.
Lio started the fire as I poured the tea, and by the time we were settled in the two armchairs, an awkward silence had descended between us again. I decided to address it head-on.
“Well, this isn’t awkward, now is it?”
Lio smiled softly into his mug. “I hate this.”
“Same here.”
He looked up, deep furrows lining the space between his brows. “Can you come visit me sometime? In Monaco?”
I thought about it for a minute before answering. “I don’t think so. How would you explain my presence there? Plus, you’re going to be so busy. Once you get back to town, you won’t even have time to remember me.”
“Bullshit. You know that’s a lie, and I could just tell people you’re a good friend.”
I felt a lump form in my throat and fought to speak past it. “I don’t think I can pretend we’re just friends, Lio.”
His face fell as he set his mug down on a side table and dropped from the chair to his knees in front of me. His arms came around my waist, and he buried his face in my stomach.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered against my shirt. “I didn’t mean for this to happen, Felix. I care about you so much. I wasn’t expecting it.”
I ran my fingers through his hair and closed my eyes to memorize the feel of it by touch alone. I could hear the familiar pop and crackle of the logs in the fire and smell a mix of nutmeg, Lio’s shampoo, and woodsmoke. I knew without a shadow of a doubt any one of those smells would have the power to gut me in the future.
“I know. Me neither,” I admitted, although he knew that already. Who in their right mind would have imagined meeting someone in the tiny unknown island in the North Sea?
Lio lifted his head with such wide eyes, I wondered what the hell was going to come out of his mouth.
“Come home with me, Felix. Can’t we figure something out? We can—I know we can.”
The desperation on his face and in his voice made my nose sting, and I wondered if I was actually going to tumble into an ugly cry right here in front of him.
I shook my head. “You know I can’t do that. And anyway, you don’t mean it. Let’s just accept that you can care about someone without being able to be with them long-term, and enjoy our final night together. I brought you in here so we could spend it in my favorite spot.”
“I thought the glassworks was your favorite spot.” His mouth quirked up, letting me know he would let me drop the serious shit.
“Hmm, there are no cookies in the glassworks. And I can’t get naked there,” I mused.
Lio’s eyes opened wide again as he tried to figure out if I was joking or suggesting.
“But you can get naked in here?” His eyes flicked to the doorway before he quickly stood and made his way over to lower the small latch lock on the back of the panel. By the time he turned back toward me, I’d closed the heavy curtains across the windows, despite them facing a private courtyard, and begun to remove my sweater.
Lio stared at me with his navy blue intensity. “Oh hell yes,” he growled, stalking toward me. “Take it all off, Felix. Show me that gorgeous skin.”
I thought about what I wanted from that night with him. I wanted so many things. For Lio to stop worrying and start having fun. For the two of us to create some hot memories to carry with us. For this to not be the last time enjoying each other's bodies, but if it was, I wanted it to be an epic last time.
“Watch me take off my clothes for you, Lio. I want your eyes on me the whole time. Every time you see my nipples harden or my cock jump, I want you to know you did that.”
I pulled off the shirt I’d had on under my sweater, revealing my bare chest. Lio’s eyes flicked down to gaze at my nipples, and just the thought of him staring at them made them tighten into hard nubs.
“That’s it,” I murmured. “Just watch. Sit down in that chair and get hard for me.”
Lio’s hand came down to palm himself through his pants before he sank down into the chair in front of the fire. I moved around to remain in front of him so he could watch in comfort.
I brought my hands slowly to the button of my pants and toyed with it, watching Lio’s intense gaze focus on that spot. My hands rubbed up and down my torso before I tweaked my own nipple and groaned a little. It felt so good to have him watch me. I’d never understood how some people were confident enough to put on a show for someone else in the bedroom, but being with Lio made me want to try it.
Anything that dilated his pupils like that was worth any amount of embarrassment I may have felt stripping in front of him.
But I wasn’t embarrassed. For some reason, I felt more empowered than anything else.
My fingers made quick work of the button and zipper at my fly before reaching into my underwear to stroke my cock.
“Oh god,” I whimpered when I felt how hard it was and how good touching it felt.
“Jesus, Fee,” Lio groaned. “You’re making me crazy. Pull it out. Let me see that gorgeous cock, baby.”
I closed my eyes and enjoyed a few more strokes, pulsing my hips forward and feeling my hard cock push through my fist.
“Gngh.” I grunted and swallowed, noticing the wetness at my tip and bringing my hand out to taste it without thinking. When I realized what I was doing, my eyes flew open just in time to see Lio roar up out of his chair and practically slam me down onto the carpet.
After that, it was like being mauled by a lion dosed with extra-strength Viagra. I yelped as he tore my pants off and ripped my underwear down my legs, engulfing my cock in his throat and reaching up to tweak my nipples at the same time.
His muffled grunts and groans made me even harder, and I couldn’t help but thrust up into his hot mouth over and over in desperation for more.
“Fuck, Lio, fuck! Please, baby. I need you inside me. Please,” I begged. “Fuck me. Take me. I know you want to fuck me hard tonight, and I need it so badly. Please.”
His head came up, and dilated pupils pinned me where I lay. “How do you want it, Felix? Because I want to fuck you through the floor, and I’m not sure you’re ready for that.”
I let out a whine before he even finished his warning. “Oh god. Yes, that. That’s what I want.”
I scrambled up onto my knees and began tearing at his clothes, desperate to get him naked so he could fuck me.
As I was struggling to get his shirt off, I found myself nose-to-nose with him. Our eyes met, and there was an entire world of emotion exchanged in the glance.
When I spoke, my voice shook. My words came out so quietly, I was surprised he could hear them. It was my deepest desire confessed in a secret
voice inside a hidden room.
“I want you to own me, Lio,” I whispered. My whole body trembled with need and fear of his reaction. “I want you to hold me down and fuck me so hard, I can barely breathe without feeling your cock shove deeper inside me. I want you to make it hurt a little so I feel it for days and days. I want you to… I want to…” I sucked in a breath. “I don’t know how to say it. I want you inside my body, and I don’t ever want you to leave it, Lio. Make me yours in a way no one else can, okay?”
After that, we pretended not to see each other’s glistening eyes. We pretended it was hard fucking instead of making love. But both of us knew the truth.
When he shoved his cock mercilessly in my ass with little to no prep, I heard the soft words of tender affection murmured into my ear.
When he rolled me over and fucked me face-first into the carpet, I felt every soft touch of his hands dancing along my skin.
When his strong hand pinned me to the floor by the back of the neck, his other one stroked my hip like I was a porcelain doll.
When his teeth bit into my skin, his sweet tongue came along right behind them to soothe the burn.
And when he roared his climax against the side of my face, I felt his arms tighten around me in a desperate clutch and his soft lips land on my hot skin, light as a feather.
But most of all, when I limped out of bed the next morning, I heard the quiet echo of his last words mumbled into my hair in the middle of the night.
I’m not sure I can live without you.
Chapter 25
Lio
I took the coward’s way out.
At one point we woke up in front of the fire and made our way upstairs to my room. Once we’d taken a sleepy shower, I led Felix to the bed and wrapped him up in my arms to sleep. He fell asleep almost instantly, but I lay there for hours unable to stop my head from spinning. I tried desperately to come up with a reality in which I could have it all—the man and the crown.
