The next crossroad Julio came to, he took the road that seemed to be paved in gold, the road that seemed to offer so much. Only, in the end, he took the road that led to nowhere.
When he can allow his troubles to find their way to his sister and possibly her children, he has lost control. No matter how he sees it, he has. My kids could have been with Jenna that night. That thought alone has me rattled all over again.
He has made his choices, and he has to live with those consequences. I have made mine, and although I have made mistakes along the way, I will forever protect and provide for Jenna. She is my life, for now and for always.
My mind goes back to when Julio and Jenna were once my only family.
The mass seems to go on forever. It’s my mother’s service, her funeral service.
I need a drink—tequila. I will even down the worm to drown the pain inside me.
The Hail Mary’s go on for far too long before I can finally get outside where I immediately unbutton the top button of my dress shirt and look to the Heavens.
“Lo siento, Mama,” I mutter for not wearing a tie and suit coat. I feel like I’m suffocating enough without her, much less if I had choked myself with a tie.
A firm grip on my shoulder tells me Julio followed me out of the church. I hug my best friend and take comfort in not being alone.
“She was a good woman, a strong woman,” he says to me, and I nod my head, knowing every word is true.
“The only family I had.”
Jenna, who followed her brother, looks up at me. “You have us, Ruben.” She reaches up to cup my face in her soft, small hands, her thumb resting under my eye. “You have me and Julio.” She smiles with tears in her eyes. “Ruby”—her thumb moves in small circles under my eye—“you are your mom’s gem. You are not alone. She’s always with you.” She pulls my face down to hers and kisses the spot under my eye where she had her thumb.
The next day, I went and had the ruby gem tattooed under my eye in the very spot she kissed me, the very spot she named me my mother’s gem. She made a vow to my mother that day that I wouldn’t be alone, and she kept her word.
I look to the Heavens now. “Lo siento, Mamá,” I apologize again.
If she were still alive, she would be ashamed of me. She would be angered at the hurt I caused my wife. She would be saddened that I turned my back on my vows.
Tears prick at my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall.
She once told me when I was a boy that I would one day find a woman and make her my wife. When the time came that I made that commitment, I would then make my own family and would need to make them my focus.
When you have so little in life, it’s hard to let go.
Julio has made his choices, and I have to put my family first. I made a commitment to Jenna. I made babies with her. I have to keep them safe.
Julio and Jenna stood by me when I had nothing. Together, we worked hard to be where we are today. Only, where he is doesn’t protect where we are, so the time has come to let him go.
I sigh. “I’m trying. I’m trying,” I mutter to the sky. “Mamá, you raised me to be a man of honor and integrity. I’m going to give every part of me to my wife and our family, no holding back.” I make the promise to my mother’s angel and to myself.
I will be my mother’s gem, and I will be the man my wife has always treasured.
It’s funny how sometimes, when you tear something completely apart and then put it back together, it seems to be stronger than ever before. I have to pinch myself to believe how far my husband and I have come.
I can’t say it’s been easy, because it hasn’t. I have tried to push him away, but at night when the bad dreams come, he’s there to chase them away. He holds me and reminds me I’m safe in his arms.
Pam comes in my house, taking me from my thoughts of my night-terror problems. The boys run in and straight to RJ’s room. Mariella and Maritza are most likely going to join them. Then it won’t be long before my house will be overrun with toys and the noise of children playing.
It’s my every dream come true. My babies are safe at home, playing without a care in the world.
She starts to unload the grocery bags of baking supplies she has brought over. Today, we are baking cookies, lots and lots of cookies. Between the two of us, we have five kids and five adults living in our homes. Then we both work for the club where Pam cleans the offices and houses while I do mini-storage work. Therefore, we are going to make some for the businesses and our families.
Before we start, Pam looks at me, studying me.
“What?” I ask, wondering what she’s thinking.
“How are you really? Don’t give me the, ‘Ruby, I’m fine’ bullshit answer, either. He may buy it, but I know better than that.”
I smile at my friend. “I’m all over the place.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
I lay out ingredients and start measuring. “I don’t know where to begin.”
She gets the eggs out of my fridge. “How are you today?”
“Confused and scared.”
“You know that’s normal, right?”
“I don’t know anything anymore.” I sigh then let out my biggest fear. “My brother is so in over his head with what he considers his drug empire in Mexico that it came back on me. What if they go after my kids? This happened because of my brother!”
“My children’s sperm donor was a malicious man, and unlike you, I subjected my kids to living in that.”
I reach out and squeeze Pam’s arm, knowing the hell she once lived with her ex-husband and why she ran away. “It’s not your fault. Don’t let the guilt get to you.”
Pam sacrificed herself by being separated from her children for their safety. Now, though, my friend has found her happily ever after and safety for herself and her children with Boomer and the Hellions MC.
She meets my gaze, and I can see the tears in her eyes. “My kids have seen too much for their young ages. The hardest part, is trusting yourself again.”
“I’ve been avoiding Julio because I don’t want to be the dumb girl who believes everything her brother tells her. He’s going to lie to me. I’ll never know the whole truth about what he’s involved in and why it found its way to me.”
She leans against my counter. “Do you want to deal with him?”
I look to her and pause before looking to my phone. Without giving myself time to second-guess, I dial my brother.
The cockiness in his voice sends chills down my spine.
“Well, well, well, she does remember how to use the phone. You should know your spouse threatened my life, so I’m not sure this phone call is permitted.”
I am in shock. Ruben talked to Julio and threatened him? My mind races. Of course he did. Julio is the reason I was taken.
“How bad, Julio?” I get right to the point.
“How bad, what? How bad will I make your spouse pay for his betrayal? Well, that depends, baby sister.”
My stomach burns and anger consumes me. “Don’t you turn this around! I was calling in hopes my brother, the one who protected me from our father, the one who took care of me while he was gone, and the one who brought me to a land of freedom, would be able to reassure me that, whatever he’s into, it won’t harm my children the way it did me.”
“You should know that hopes lead to disappointments,” he answers cryptically.
It’s one thing to have to face down every fear. It’s one thing to have to be stripped, tied, and gagged. It’s one thing to be a carving station for some asshole. It is another thing entirely to even fathom I have to worry about my children being in danger.
“You should know then that I’m Jenna Mariella Castillo, ol’ lady in the Hellions Motorcycle Club. You should know it’s not a hope; it’s a given that my children are protected. They are safe in the arms of the family Ruben and I made for ourselves.”
“Oh, so the little American princess is too good for her spic brother now?”
Tea
rs fill my eyes, but I won’t back down.
“That’s not it at all, Julio, and you know it. If that’s what you have to tell yourself to ease your conscious that you couldn’t protect what you once considered family, that’s your shortcoming.”
He pauses before replying, “It was a debt owed to me. I never thought you would be a target.”
“If you ever cared about me and my family at all, then you’ll understand I have to walk away, Julio. I have to make sure we are never a target again.”
He says nothing for a beat, and then his answer is simple. “Understood, Mrs. Castillo.” Those are the last words my brother speaks before disconnecting the call without giving me an opportunity to say anything else.
I look at Pam. “I’m good now.”
“What did you take away from that call?”
I smile, my heart filling with pride. “I am Jenna Castillo, Ruby’s ol’ lady in the Hellions MC. I have family, I have my man, and I am safe.”
Planting Seeds
One Year Later
The fire is burning hot in our life now. Walking into the house after work and seeing Jenna behind the stove with her long, black hair braided down her back, my dick gets hard. It’s another day in paradise.
Life is calm. Life is good. Life is with my wife.
Moving behind her, I wrap my hands around her waist and drop my head to her neck where I suck … hard.
She laughs, and I swear I’m in heaven.
“I’m one lucky motherfucker. I’ve got a wife who’s hot as hell, can cook, and gives me beautiful babies,” I whisper before nibbling her earlobe.
“Ruby,” she whispers, “the babies.”
“The babies will see me loving their mama. They will see how real love is treasured. They will see me hold you and kiss you and tell you just how much you mean to me.”
She giggles, and my dick presses against the zipper of my jeans.
“Give me ten minutes to see if I can grow our family by one more,” I tease.
She huffs playfully. “You want me barefoot and pregnant?”
“I want my seed so deep inside of you we make life together.” I rock into her and trail my hands up her sides to cup her breasts through her shirt. “I want to see your body grow with our life once again. I love you pregnant. I love you not pregnant. I love you as the mother of my children. I love you as my wife. More than anything, Jenna Mariella Castillo, I love you. I love you so much I want to create life with you, because mi amor, you are my Vida.”
She leans back into me and wiggles her ass against my erection. “I have to feed the life we already created, but if you are a lucky man, you will get the chance to make a new life tonight.” She flicks her spatula up at me. “Now out of my kitchen; I have a family to cook for.” She smiles at me when I push away.
Reluctantly, I go to our room. Deciding I need to clean up before I ravage my wife, I take a cold shower and change into some sweats. When I come back out, the kids are already at the table, so I take my place and smile as I watch my wife fill her plate to sit down and eat … all of us together.
There was a time when this didn’t seem like enough. I was a selfish, greedy man to not find satisfaction, complete satisfaction, in this: three beautiful children; a wife who, through thick and thin, will ride it out with me. And she’s just as gorgeous today as she was the day we said “I do.”
We all start to eat. Life is truly beautiful.
“Papi, am I allowed to give out our phone number? Mami says I have to ask you.”
“To whom?” I ask as I scoop another mouthful onto my fork.
“His name is Carson.”
I choke.
Jenna reaches over and smacks my back while laughing.
She’s not even a teenager yet. Why do boys want to call her? She’s too beautiful. She looks too much like her mother.
There is no way a boy will be calling my house. Does he know who I am? I’m a motherfucking Hellion. No, he can’t call my daughter.
I swallow hard. “No,” I answer and drink some sweet tea.
“But, but…” she whines.
“No buts. No boys.” I stand firm in my decision.
Suddenly losing my appetite, I pick up my plate and take it to the garbage to clean it off.
My baby girl, my first born, wants to have a boy call her.
I think back to young Jenna: her long, dark hair falling in waves down her back; her innocent laugh at everything Julio or I said or did. Her love for me has remained my constant, my lifeline. Then I think of the hell I put her through.
No way will my daughter have a boy calling this young.
I shake my head as my phone pings with a text from Boomer.
I don’t think about anything beyond my daughter, my baby girl wanting to have a boy call her as I walk outside. My daughter wants to have a boy call her? Just another season in life I’m not prepared for.
Boomer pulls up on his Harley, and I’m already in the backyard opening my shop door while my bearded brother parks before making his way inside.
“Why do you look like someone ran over your dog? You don’t even have a damn dog,” he jokes.
“Maritza wants to have a boy call her on the phone.”
Boomer busts out laughing. “You look like you could puke, and it’s all because a little boy wants to call your preteen daughter?”
I shake my head. “You don’t have girls; you have boys. Boys are different. You also aren’t with a woman who has been in love with you and only you since she was, like, nine.”
“Vida’s loved you that long?”
I smile proudly. “Mine, all fucking mine.”
“Just let the boy call and tell him he has to pass the Hellions’ test. He’ll take one look at Roundman and pee his pants.”
We both laugh. “True.” I move to the back of the shop. “Do you just need new brackets to mount the saddle bags or the whole kit?”
“Better do the whole kit if you aren’t gonna use it.”
I smile, thinking about a road trip on my bike with Vida.
“As nice as the idea is, we have babies, so for now, we stay home. I don’t need the bigger bags.”
“Pami is used to being ready to run at any moment, even after all this time. I swear the woman packs for a week if we’re just going down the road. I’ve gone across country with my current bags, but she says I need bigger.”
“And who says size doesn’t matter?” I joke.
We both laugh. Then he gets the kit. It takes a little while, but we eventually get the new saddlebag brackets and bags on his bike.
As he revs his engine and pulls away, I think about my wife inside. By now, my kids should be ready for bed, which means I don’t have to think about boys and my daughter. I need to think about giving my wife another son or daughter.
With that, I walk back in my house with a smile on my face and a dick that hardens with each passing moment from just thinking about planting a seed in her womb.
After dinner, I quickly go through my evening routine with the kids, my anger building as I move through the motions.
I know Maritza and boys are a tough thing for a father to face. I understand his mindset when he had to get up from the table. However, when the sound of the Harley pulling away hit my ears, my temper hit the roof.
He left without saying good-bye. I will put up with a lot of shit, and I mean a lot of shit, but after everything we went through, that is not something I will let slide.
He wants the heat. He wants the fire. Well, it’s smoking hot now.
I hear the bike again, and I want to beat him on the head with a frying pan. I go about the task of making muffins for the kids for their lunches next week, and I’m fighting to tamp down my emotions when Ruben walks in happier than when he left.
This only makes me more insanely angry.
“Vida,” he greets as he takes off his shoes and strips off the T-shirt he had on for dinner. He tosses it to the floor, and I want to strangle him with it.
“I’m not picking that up, asshole.”
He smirks as he walks into the kitchen. “I’ll take care of it later. I want to take care of you now.”
When he reaches out to put his hands on my hips, I react without thinking. The egg in my hand goes flying right onto his forehead where it cracks, yolk running down his face.
He backs up from me and looks at me like I have completely lost my mind.
Maybe I have.
I grab my kitchen towel and start swinging it at him. “You left, and you didn’t speak. You left me and your children, and you didn’t say one word. Ruben Castillo, you need to respect me, respect us more than that. This is not a fast food restaurant where you can have it your way.”
He laughs as he catches the end of my towel and uses the leverage to jerk me toward him, yolk running down his nose and cheeks. He blinks, and I feel bad when it gets in his eyelashes.
“Ardiente,” he whispers.
“Asshole,” I whisper back.
“I didn’t leave. Boomer needed my old saddlebags and brackets. I met him outside, he pulled up on his bike, we changed them, and he pulled off. That’s the bike you heard. I have more respect for you and our children than to leave without saying something.”
I feel so stupid. I overreacted.
Taking the towel, I wipe the egg off his forehead and eyes as he smiles at me.
“Sorry about my freak out.”
“I love it when you give me shit.” He brushes his lips against mine. “It shows me you care.” Yolk from his face rubs onto my cheek. “Most men would like a quiet, submissive wife. I’m not most men. I married my woman for her fire. Don’t ever hold back from me, not ever.” When his lips crash down on mine, I am lost in him immediately.
Fire. I feel the heat between us. We have fire.
Passion Burns
Jenna brings her hands up to my face, her thumb resting on the ruby tattoo under my eye. “I have a perfect gem in you,” she whispers.
“I’m far from perfect.”
Heated Ride: Hellions Motorcycle Club (The Hellions Ride Series Book 7) Page 14
