by Jess Haines
Well, not horror. Not anymore. Even if he still did things that scared me, what made me sweat and plastered my tongue to the roof of my mouth was the thought of letting go of all the excuses that shielded me from accepting that I wasn’t the same person I used to be. That I might have more than just pantsfeelings for a blood-drinking creature of the night. That I was more than human, but still had my humanity.
He was quiet, watching me, probably waiting for the significance of what he said to sink in. Once I looked up from my hands and back to him, he continued, voice soft. Like he thought he might scare me back into being introspective and victimized, ready to find another excuse not to be in the moment if he wasn’t careful.
I was done with that, but I wanted to hear what he had to say before I told him so.
“Most people, when they think of destruction, automatically assume it involves violence. Explosions, fire, and waste. You? The path of self-destruction you’ve been taking is a long road, a gradual wasting away, coming on silent cat’s feet. You doubt yourself. Your humanity. Your ability to cope. You haven’t taken note of what’s been available to you or the opportunities you’ve let slip away because of this quiet path you’ve been walking.
“You will die if you continue on that road. Not because of me. Because you can’t stop yourself from burning out, becoming a shell of who you are and who you could be. Don’t do it to yourself, Shiarra. You’re not a monster. No more than I am.”
Says the vampire who’s been around since before the coming of Christ. Somehow, I managed to bite my tongue long enough to keep from saying that out loud and came up with something a little less snarky.
“I hate how right you are. You always are. I’m not sure if I should be pissed at you for saying it or at myself for needing to hear it.”
He gave me a close-lipped smile, and for once there wasn’t anything sly about it. “Either way, it’s better to be angry than resigned or afraid. It means you’re getting stronger. Finding yourself instead of giving in.” He leaned in, cupping my cheeks and kissing my brow. “I want you to live. No shame, no regrets, no blame. No more fear.”
“No promises,” I said, voice thick.
No. No promises. But from that point forward, I would do my best to be the greatest person I knew how to be. To find that thread of self-respect I used to hold so dear, to be brave and thoughtful and worthy of the words he used to describe me. To stop worrying so much about what he might do versus what he’d proved himself to be. A friend. I owed it to him. To Sara. To my family. All the people who loved me, even if they didn’t accept me. Most of all, I owed it to myself.
It took a lot of hard knocks for the lesson to sink in. Sometimes being brave means letting go.
ZEBRA BOOKS are published by
Kensington Publishing Corp.
119 West 40th Street
New York, NY 10018
Copyright © 2014 by Jess Haines
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
If you purchased this book without a cover you should be aware that this book is stolen property. It was reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the Publisher and neither the Author nor the Publisher has received any payment for this “stripped book.”
Zebra and the Z logo Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.
ISBN: 978-1-4201-2404-0
First Electronic Edition: July 2014
eISBN-13: 978-1-4201-3516-9
eISBN-10: 1-4201-3516-3
Table of Contents
ENSLAVED
Also by
Title Page
Acknowledgments
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Copyright Page
