by CJ Ellisson
Lily stared at the empty space where Terry had been, and an even emptier feeling crept across her heart.
“You okay?” Sean asked, wiping her cheek.
Blinking back the rest of her tears, Lily shook her head. “Not really. She had been trying to warn me for a couple of weeks, telling me to make friends and fit in. I guess she felt this coming. Maybe that’s why she chose to stay away so much.”
Sean pulled her close. “Terry’s right, you know. She’s where she should be, and it’s a better place than you or I will ever know here on Earth.”
Lily’s breath hitched in her throat. “You’re right, and I know it’s true. It’s going to take some time for my heart to catch up to my head.”
Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and rested her head on Sean’s chest. This had been some night, but upset as she was, she wasn’t giving Sean lip service. Terry was right. Though her heart was breaking, she knew she was going to be okay. Six weeks ago she would have either fallen to pieces or beat the crap out of someone—probably both.
Lily sighed and snuggled further beneath Sean’s arms. She loved his strength, and how he made her feel when they were together, like she’d never have to put up a wall again.
With everything happening in his world tonight, it meant so much that he thought to be with her, even though she knew he would have to leave again. More than just her fate lay in the balance, and the weight of the heavy burden was clear in the air around them.
“Aren’t you supposed to be somewhere else? It’s almost midnight.”
“I knew you needed me.”
“I do,” she admitted wrapping her arms around him tighter. She inhaled, waiting for the familiar suffocating feeling, but it didn’t come. Being able to confess that she needed someone, so easily, and without the usual self-loathing, stunned her. Terry was right, again. She’d learned to let go. Only problem now was she didn’t want to let go of Sean, afraid if she did it would be the last time she’d hold him like this.
Neither one spoke, but his tension was evident nonetheless. “You should probably get back; they’re all waiting for you,” she whispered along their shared mind path unable to speak the words out loud.
“I know. Lily, whatever happens tonight…”
Lily opened her eyes to stare up at him, putting her finger to his lips. She shook her head slowly. “I know you’ll do what’s right. Not just for me, but for everyone. Do what you have to, and don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”
Through the window, they heard the sound of the drums. Their cadence slow at first, but as it increased in urgency, Lily clutched the back of Sean’s shirt. They were out of time.
Resting his head on top of hers, he murmured, “It’s time.”
Beneath his chin, all she could manage was a nod. Squeezing back tears, she opened her mind, flooding his with love and reassurance. “Whatever you decide, I’ll never regret this…or you.”
Sean stepped back, and it struck her how his eyes searched hers. “You sure?” he wondered aloud.
With a steadying breath, she smiled bravely. “Surer than anything else in my life.”
Sean didn’t say a word. He kissed her instead, leaving quickly without saying goodbye. Standing at the window, she watched him cross the courtyard, keeping her mind linked with his until he closed the door between them.
Anger boiled in Lily’s mind, knowing this whole thing was nothing more than a ploy orchestrated by Edward Parr. But for what reason?
In her frustration, she wanted nothing more than to send the bastard a mental bitchslap. A rueful smile tugged at Lily’s lips at the thought, but she knew it wouldn’t serve their purpose, regardless of how much she’d enjoy it.
Delia. She was another pointless complication in the entire mess. An ugly sound crept from Lily’s mouth at the part Delia had played in all this. Parr was the perfect vehicle for her to exact her revenge without needing an actual challenge. Stupid bitch probably slept with the smarmy bastard to fuel his ambition with her own malice.
Lily snorted. The two deserved each other and whatever consequences came their way. Special delivery, courtesy of my boot up their ass.
With an aggravated sigh, she watched Sean disappear into the great hall, his shoulders squared for battle. He was the Alpha Council. All she could do was wait and pray he’d find a way to make this work. If anyone could, it was Sean.
Chapter Eleven
Sean opened the door to the bedroom, boots in hand. Across the room, Lily slept, or at least that’s what she wanted him to think. A small smile crept across his lips at the narrow lump beneath the covers. She had been through so much in such a short time, and now this. How was he going to explain? Well, you see, sweetheart, Weres are a fickle bunch and as a group no better than sheep to the slaughter, laughing the whole way about how smart they are.
“Jesus, help me,” he sighed silently. There was no getting around it. Politics were politics. Since the beginning of time, there was always someone trying to feed Kool-Aid to the masses. In this case, it was Edward Parr.
The clock ticked on the desk next to his walk-in closet, with Lily’s rhythmic breathing keeping pace. Her dark hair fanned out against the white cotton sheets, and what remained of the moonlight peeked through the curtains accentuating her creamy skin and the swell of her breasts above the sheet.
As tired as Sean was, a pang of desire swept over him, but he squelched it. On so many levels, it had been a long, trying night for both of them. Terry may have moved on, but here on Earth nothing had yet been accomplished. Nothing significant, anyway.
He yawned, wanting to crawl into bed and feel Lily’s warmth beside him, close his eyes and not think about the mess he had to deal with.
The hunters were not happy with him, especially Mitch, even though Sean managed a hard won moratorium. Tonight they tried to convince him to force the issue with Parr. To reestablish dominion and the power of the Alpha and set the ruling, regardless of dissent. Even now, Sean shook his head at the idea. The whole point to the council of Weres was for diplomacy to reign, not the will of one man.
Sean’s elected position to Alpha Council of the Brethren wasn’t done by committee. The process had included everyone. One man, one vote—though his bloodline made him the obvious choice in the eyes of the wolves, a point his hunters made abundantly clear this evening.
For the Compound to be considered a success, a resolution of this kind had to come from a majority rule. Otherwise, what was the point to the experiment of species? If they couldn’t agree on something as cut and dried as the situation with Lily, then how could they ever hope to overcome the serious issues facing them in the future—land rights, food resources, the freedom to hunt, etc.? It all hinged on how they worked together now. Parr may have forced a stalemate, but the battle was far from over.
Sean placed his boots on the floor by the foot of the bed and unbuckled his jeans. He slid his shirt over his head and tossed it into the wicker hamper before heading into the bathroom. In the mirror, he took inventory. Dark circles and frown lines…Christ, this job was aging him fast.
He turned on the tap to rinse his face and brush his teeth, and then slipped out of his jeans and hung them on the chair next to his desk.
“Hard run?” Lily asked from the bed.
“I wish,” he answered, snapping off the light and then climbing into bed. “Believe me, I’d much rather have raced the moon than argued all night with Edward and his cronies. At least then, I wouldn’t have a headache.”
Lily shifted, turning onto her side to let him spoon behind her. Sean slid his arm over her waist and pulled her close, her warmth sinking into his tired limbs.
“You’re the softest thing I’ve held tonight,” he murmured, kissing the top of her bare shoulder. “Aren’t you cold sleeping in the nude like that? You know you’re not a full Were, yet.”
She chuckled, pushing herself further back into his warmth. “That’s what I have you for.”
“Hmmm.”
; His sex grew hard against her wiggle, but he didn’t push the issue. As if she knew something else was up besides the obvious, Lily turned in Sean’s arms to face him, her eyes narrowing. “Are you just too tired to tell me what happened, or are you stalling because it's bad news?”
“Stalling?”
She nodded, her eyebrows raised. “Yes. Stalling.”
With a sigh, he rolled onto his back.
“Sean…”
He rubbed his face with his palm, muffling an exhausted sigh. “There’s not much to tell. Parr’s antics tonight were entirely premeditated. He was too schooled, too prepared in his arguments afterward for it not to be. He pushed, but I pushed back. As alpha, the hunters wanted me to force the decision as is my right, but I declined. I have to be clever about how I handle this, Lily. For both our sakes. The handwriting is on the wall. Parr will make this about me and the ‘object of my affection,’ if I give him the chance.”
“Object of your affection?”
The side of Sean’s mouth quirked up in a crooked smile. “That’s how Edward refers to you when he’s showboating.”
“And…”
“And nothing. I suggested a postponement.”
Lily pushed herself up on one arm, her brows coming together nonplussed. “A postponement? Why? What for?”
Sean turned on his side to face her. “Because, Christmas is in a week, and for Weres, the holiday season extends from Christmas Day straight into January and ending at the Wolf’s Moon. Traditionally, festivities last the length of a single moon cycle.
“Parr timed his coup well, knowing everyone would opt for a quick decision just to wrap things up in time for holidays. I threw a monkey wrench into his plan by suggesting we wait. From the look on his face, he hadn’t counted on that.”
Lily chewed on her lower lip, thinking. “Okay,” she murmured with a slow nod. “You know the situation better than me…so we wait.”
She sank down against Sean’s chest, resting her head in the crook between his arm and his shoulder. He glanced across his chest at her still chewing on her lip. “What?”
She shook her head, absently. “Nothing,” she replied. “I was trying to remember something I read once about the Wolf’s Moon. It’s Native American, right?”
Sean nodded. “Sioux, although some of our academics say the term originated from the Algonquin. Either way the name refers to a time when winter is at its worst and the wolves came howling, looking for food. Among the Native Americans, my kind was revered, celebrated as living examples of nature’s magic. Folklore was passed down from generation to generation about how we protected the tribes. It wasn’t until the white man came that Weres became feared and hunted. The Wolf Moon is our way of remembering, of keeping tradition. Edward just loves to get in there during the festivities and stir up nostalgia for our glorious past.”
Lily pushed herself up on her elbow. “Then postponing the decision on my acceptance to the pack can’t be good. There are only a couple of weeks until the Wolf Moon. If Parr spins this the whole time, won’t that make things worse for us?”
Sean lifted one shoulder and let it fall. “It might, then again it might not. That’s why it’s crucial for you to be front and center at every holiday event. We need for people to see you, to get to know you better. This way when Edward tries to label you a mere human, it won’t resonate with the Compound. By then you’ll just be Lily, a real person with a real face and a real heart.”
Lily exhaled, concern etching her eyes.
“What? Too much too soon?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No, I’m okay with being on display, but I think I need to go shopping. Everything I own makes me look like a Hell’s Angel biker babe.”
Sean burst out laughing and pulled her on top of him. “You can buy anything you want,” he said, sliding his hands down the curve of her waist, his fingers brushing the side of her breasts. “Except pajamas.”
He crushed his mouth to hers, and she answered his need with her own. Neither was getting much rest tonight.
Lily walked into the breakfast room, squinting from the sun glinting in through the large portrait windows facing the expansive back property.
“And how are you feeling this morning?” Rissa asked, looking up from putting two silver dollar pancakes on Stephanie’s plate.
“Better, I guess,” Lily answered, pouring a cup of coffee from the silver carafe on the sideboard. She stood between the table and the spread of food long enough to feed an army. “I still can’t get used to this communal living. Don’t you ever want to be alone?”
“We do pretty much everything together. You’ll get used to it, I’m sure.”
“All I can say is I’m glad you don’t all sleep together.”
Rissa snickered. “I’ll bet.”
Lily looked up, the creamer in her hand half way to her cup. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Rissa shook her head, a huge grin on her face. “Nothing, really. It’s just you smell…happy.”
“Lily frowned pouring the cream into her coffee cup. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to what you people can and can’t smell. By happy, I’m assuming you mean as in X-rated, right?”
Rissa just laughed
“Mommy, what’s X-rated?” Stephanie asked, looking up from making swirls in her syrup.
Rissa’s head whipped toward her daughter. “It... it means a…a grown up thing,” she stammered over herself.
“Oh,” the little girl said, glancing over at Lily. She sniffed, and then glanced back at her mother, a curious expression on her face. “Mommy, you smell happy like that too, sometimes. Whenever Mitch has a sleepover.”
Lily choked, spewing coffee everywhere.
“Who’s having a sleepover?” Mitch asked, walking through the breakfast room door.
Rissa got up to help Lily mop up the table and wipe down her shirt. “Nothing, Mitch. Forget it.”
“Mommy and Lily smell the same when they’re happy,” Stephanie stated through a mouthful of pancakes.
Mitch looked at both women, his nostrils flaring slightly. His eyes widened. “Oh, for the love of Pete!” He cleared his throat and grabbed a mug from the shelf.
“I think I’m going to go upstairs and take another shower.” Lily muttered, not making eye contact with either of them as she threw the wet napkins in the trash.
”Don’t leave on account of me,” Mitch teased, grabbing an English muffin from the tray. “Shower’s not going to help much anyway. It’s a Were thing,” he added with a shrug.
Cheeks flaming, Rissa’s head jerked in his direction, her expression mortified. Lily didn’t comment. Sean made it clear people needed to like her, so it was best she didn’t say a word.
She leaned against the sideboard and plucked one of the sausage links from the tray next to her. Finger sized, she bit it in half, chewing while she watched Rissa compose herself enough to pour more syrup on her daughter’s plate.
“Are you coming to the Wolf Moon Ball?” Rissa asked, noticeably changing the subject.
Lily shrugged. “I suppose. Sean said there were a bunch of holiday do’s during the next month.”
Mitch laughed. “That’s putting it mildly.”
“Are you two planning to go? I mean, are you up to it?” she replied, indicating Rissa’s burgeoning belly with the second half of her sausage link.
“Ha! Not if Mitch has anything to say about it. That man would have me in bed with my feet propped up being spoon fed if he could manage it,” she said with a huffy laugh, her eyes warm as she touched the big wolf’s shoulder. “But yeah, thanks to you, I’m good. The baby is growing, and I’m healthy, and were both glad I’m back to being a full time mommy, aren’t we Stephie?”
The little girl looked at Lily over the rim of her double handled cup. Her blue eyes crinkled as she nodded, flashing a quick smile at Lily.
Surprised, Lily glanced at both Rissa and Mitch.
“We’ve been telling her about you, about how
you’re helping everyone here get better, and how you helped me and the baby, especially.” Embarrassed, Rissa picked up a napkin and busied herself with wiping one of Stephanie’s sticky hands.
Stephanie nodded, putting her cup down next to her plate. “Are you coming to our house for Christmas?”
Lily looked at the adults again, not knowing what to say.
“Of course she is, sweetie. Uncle Sean wouldn’t have it any other way.” Rissa answered for her. “That is if you’re not going home for the holidays,” she added.
Lily shook her head. She had a hard enough time facing Beverly and Carl Hess after Terry’s funeral and on the days that followed. She’d already missed Thanksgiving, as Terry didn’t want to go home in her ethereal state, not trusting herself to be around her parents.
It was distressing enough that Terry felt their grief; she didn’t want to see it firsthand. At the time, Lily was relieved, even grateful, especially since she was caught up in vigilante mode.
Beverly was already on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Having to watch Lily walk around like a character from the movie Death Wish, and overhear her talk to her dead daughter’s ghost would have certainly pushed her over the edge. Terry’s parents knew Lily well enough to realize she needed to be away, that she needed to grieve alone. They’d understand.
“No. I don’t have any plans for Christmas, and New York is just too sad a place for me, right now.”
“I know, honey, and I’m sorry for that. Sean told us about Terry. You shouldn’t be alone. Why don’t you come for Christmas? We all have something to grieve, but we also all have something to hope for, to be merry about.”
Lily smiled, but it was tinged with a sad, empty feeling. “You’re right, and I’d love to come. I guess I need a little help in getting to the merry.”
“Mommy, I’m done. Can I go outside now?” Stephanie asked, pulling on Rissa’s sleeve.
Rissa turned toward her daughter. “Sure.” She nodded. “But only for a little while and only if Nanny goes with you.”
