Rebel Cause
A Boys of Fallout Novel
Cassandra Giovanni
Show n'ot Tell Publishing
Copyright © Cassandra Giovanni, 2017
All Rights Reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be produced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Show n’ot Tell Publishing
Connecticut, USA
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or deceased, events or locations are wholly coincidental.
PUBLISHER’S CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA:
Giovanni, Cassandra
Rebel Cause
ISBN: 978-1545432952
Cover Art: Gio Design Studios © 2017
Beneath the tides taking,
lay the shifting sands of my soul
where all the lies are washed away
by truth
where I fear not
the edge of the earth
where I fear not
for beneath the tides taking,
your soul is mine
and there is no edge of the earth
– BENEATH THE TIDES TAKING
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Other Novels By the Author
Chapter 1
I stare around my best friends room, stacked with boxes that indicate we’re really going to college. High school seemed to go by in a blink of an eye. I smile to myself as I lean up on my elbows and glance over at Lindy looking at a Cosmo magazine. My eyes move down to my Alternative Press. It’s just one of the reasons Lindy and I are complete opposites, but I figure it’s why we get along so well. I stand and toss the magazine into one of the boxes.
Lindy raises an eyebrow. “That’s not mine.”
“Yeah, but it’s Kellin’s and we’re going to be living with him now,” I reply, and she shrugs.
“Speaking of which,” she says, glancing down at her cell phone. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready?”
I pull my hair into a messy ponytail and slip on my Keds.
“Done,” I reply and she shakes her head. “Are you sure you don’t want to come?”
“Positive. We’re going to be seeing Kellin enough from now on!” Lindy replies as she raises an eyebrow at me. “Plus, I thought the whole idea of going out was to get a date or something.”
I look at the ceiling. Lindy and I have been best friends since freshmen year, and not much has changed in the past four years. She’s the preppy girl with pretty blonde curls, contrasting moss green eyes and freckles. My eyes fall back to the mirror in front of me. I, on the other hand, don’t really care what anyone thinks of me. I’m too busy with my academics to pay attention to how I look. I don’t really look like much in my ripped bootcut jeans, loose plain tee and glasses.
“I go to his shows every Friday because I like the music,” I say as I turn to face her again.
Lindy blinks at me a few times. “Again, I lived with Kellin until he was eighteen and went to college. Now we’re going to college, and I’m going to have to deal with him almost 24/7 again. Plus, I’m sure he has quite the reputation already, so I’ll have to deal with everyone asking me questions or making comments about him.”
I smirk to myself as I think of Lindy’s brother. I’m almost as close to him as I am her–at least I was before he went to college. He’s three years older, so we only spent a year together and every summer–but those summers were amazing. I’m glad this one is coming to an end because we haven’t seen him nearly as much as we normally do. He’s been fixing up the house we’re renting from one of their relatives.
“Rocker bad boy is the in thing,” I remind Lindy. “Didn’t you drool over Temp a few weeks ago at the beach?”
She sits up, sucking in her cheeks as she thinks. “Very true.”
“Still sure you don’t want to come?” I push, hoping for once she’ll come with me. If she did, it wouldn’t be so awkward for me to go up and talk to Kellin.
“Temp is super hot, but I want to relish my last few moments without my brother,” she says, and when I roll my eyes she continues, “You don’t get it because Keith is five years older than you — you might as well have been an only child.”
I bite my lip as I stare at her with my brows raised. “Is Kellin really that bad?”
Lindy shrugs and flops back on her bed. “You’ll see when you have to live with him all the time–he’s a pain in the ass.”
I stare down at her as I pull my hooded sweatshirt over my head. “I’ve known him as long as I’ve known you. I’m well aware he’s a pain in the ass…but at least he’s nice to look at.”
“Reese, really?” she asks as she wrinkles her nose.
“What?” I ask, widening my eyes at her.
“You’re wearing that? I thought when you said you were done you meant your shoes.”
I blink at her. She doesn’t have an issue with me calling her brother hot, but she has a problem with what I’m wearing to see him. “This is what I always wear.”
She purses her lips at me as she looks me up and down. “I’m surprised Kellin never teases you about it.”
“I’m sure he would if he knew I was there,” I reply as I grab my car keys from her dresser.
“Are you secretly stalking my brother, Ree?”
I turn around, my hands on my hips. “I know it’s hard to believe, but I like Beneath the Tides Taking.”
“I like it until my brother stops singing and Schmidt starts screaming,” Lindy comments, scrunching up her nose.
“I figured you’d jump at a chance to see Temp again,” I say and she presses her pointer finger into her cheek.
“He was hot,” she begins, and I wiggle my eyebrows at her.
She shrugs. “I think it’s probably wise to stay away from my brother’s best friend.”
She’s probably right, especially seeing the whole music scene really isn’t her thing and it’s definitely Temp’s, just like it’s Kellin’s. Lindy and I have little in common. I like heavy metal; she likes pop. She loves pink; I like black. She wants to stand out, and I always blend in. I’m good at blending in. I glance over my shoulder at my reflection again. I blend in so well I’m not even sure who the person in the mirror is. It isn’t who I think I am. I’ve always felt this way–like I’m lost inside my own body, but I’ve always ignored it until now. It’s been nagging at me for weeks…ever since Kellin saw me in my bathing suit.
Lindy had dragged me to the mall to pick something out because Kellin invited us to the beach with a few of his friends from the music scene. He made m
e swear that I’d make sure Lindy wore something decent, but Lindy made the point that he hadn’t said the same thing for me.
“If I can’t look sexy, you sure can,” Lindy commented as she threw bathing suits at me to try on–if you could call them that. There really wasn’t much to them. Even the one piece she threw at me was cut out on the sides. In the end, Lindy picked one out for me, bought it and stuffed it in her bag without letting me see. She gave it to me five minutes before Kellin arrived.
“Are you shitting me, Lind?” I swore as I came out of the bathroom.
She put her hands behind her head as she leaned back. “Perfect.”
I looked down at my almost entirely bare torso, covered by only a strapless top inches wide and a bikini bottom that had metal circles on the sides, so my hips showed. “Did it really need to be a push-up bathing suit?”
Lindy nodded. “What the hell is the point of a top without the push?”
I swallowed as my palms began to sweat. “Kellin is going to see me in this!”
“I’m going to–holy fucking shit!” Kellin said as he came in the door.
I turned around, my eyes wide as I stood with my hands pressed against my sides.
Kellin’s face turned red as his eyes trailed up and down my body.
“Fuck,” he said under his breath, mouth hanging open with his hand rubbing his neck as he tried, but failed to peel his eyes away from me.
His gaze finally met mine, and my whole body trembled.
He had no business looking at me like that.
Making me feel like I was on fire.
He was my best friend’s brother– he was one of my best friends. Still, his eyes remained locked on mine, and my body begged me to step forward to use my finger to shut his jaw. My breathing was staggered as my eyes drifted to his parted mouth and the glint of the metal ball just below his lower lip.
Lindy broke our stare as she tossed my cover-up over my shoulder. “Here! Let’s get going.”
I pulled it over my head, and it barely covered my ass.
“Lindy!” I hissed, my face burning from the way Kellin was looking at me. I could still feel his eyes on me as I yanked on her arm to make her stop.
Kellin shook his head, mouth finally closing as he nodded over his shoulder. “I’ll…meet you two in the car.”
“You look hot,” she replied, mocking me with wide eyes. “Even Kellin is having a heart attack.”
Kellin having a heart attack over me was what did me in. Since then I’ve doubted myself every time I pull on my ill-fitting clothes. Now I’m going to see him again, and I suddenly want to feel like that again.
To feel his eyes all over me.
Control yourself, Reese! Brother, your best friend’s brother!
“Fine,” I say, taking a deep breath. “I’ll go by myself, but you better be coming over tomorrow.”
Lindy laughs as I kick one of her boxes. I haven’t even started packing yet, and we’re moving in on Sunday.
“You need help packing?” she asks.
I shrug. “I don’t feel like taking anything with me.”
Especially not my clothes.
Lindy stands and pulls at the pocket of my ratty, too-baggy hoody. “We could go shopping.”
“Shopping?” I repeat, and as much as the idea appeals to me, I fight it.
“Yeah, and get you a new wardrobe…something more you.”
“What’s not me about this?” I ask, looking down at my outfit. I know she’s right, but I’m not really sure what is me.
“You’ve got a feisty attitude and a brain–and…” She smirks as she pulls the sweatshirt tight around me. “A body.”
“I’m going to be late for the show.”
“And Kell might notice you if you sneak in late and can’t jam yourself against a wall.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not hiding from him purposely!”
“Yeah, and you aren’t hiding under your clothes either,” she replies as she walks out the door and down the steps.
I stand there for a moment looking down at my outfit, a part of me knowing she’s right, and another part of me wondering what the hell she’s insinuating about Kellin.
Chapter 2
I press my body against the back wall as I blend into the crowd. I hate the feeling of bodies so close to mine, but I relish the way listening to Kellin sing lets me disappear. I forget all the parts of myself I doubt for just a moment. I’m addicted to his voice and the emotion as he sways to the beat. Then there’s the feeling it always reminds me of–the one I get when he looks at me because when he does, it feels like he sees me. Even when I don’t see me–he does.
I pull the hood of the sweatshirt over my head despite the heat that’s building from the jam-packed room. The last thing I need is for Kellin to realize I’m here, not that he would notice me in a room full of girls in skimpy clothing and tight skinny jeans. The girls in front of me giggle as Kellin comes on stage and pulls the guitar over his shoulder. He’s wearing a v-neck black tee and his chest tattoo’s words are as apparent as the ones scrawled over his right forearm up to his bicep.
“I can’t stand 99% of the songs, but God, Kellin is gorgeous. I’d love to see what that tattoo on his chest says,” the blonde says to her friend.
I know exactly what it says. It’s the lyrics to my favorite Bring Me the Horizon song. I smile to myself. If they can’t stand this level of heavy, they sure as hell wouldn’t be able to listen to the old BMTH I love so much.
“I wonder if he has any tattoos anywhere else,” her friend replies, and I hold in the gag as I imagine what she must be talking about.
I know where all of his tattoos are. I’ve been with him when he got each one and he definitely doesn’t have them anywhere this girl would need to see him naked for. Shirtless yes, but not naked. Besides his chest tattoo and sleeve, he has lyrics written across his ribcage that he wrote, which these girls obviously won’t know.
Beneath the tides taking,
lay the shifting sands of my soul
where all the lies are washed away
by truth
where I fear not
the edge of the earth
where I fear not
for beneath the tides taking,
your soul is mine
and there is no edge of the earth
“Are you ready?” Kellin asks as he grabs the microphone with his guitar pick sticking out between his fingers.
The crowd screams.
Schmidt grabs his microphone off the stand and wraps the cord around his fist.
“He said, are you,” his voice lowers into a growl; “ready?”
The crowd grows even louder, and the double bass drums begin to rumble. The room moves as the drummer slams the high hats together and then as Kellin opens his mouth to sing, the crowd starts to jump. I don’t join because I know what will happen. I’ll get pulled into the crowd, and then probably the mosh pit. The girls in front of me don’t know any better and begin to jump and sing the wrong lyrics. I laugh to myself but reach forward to grab the blonde before she’s pulled into the pit. She turns and mouths thank you, panic lacing her soft features. She reminds me of Lindy with pretty eyes and porcelain skin. I shrug and watch as she starts to jump again. I wonder how many times I’m going to have to save her from getting her perfect nose broken tonight. By the time the last song of Kellin’s set is done, I’ve saved her at least five more times.
“You’ve been to a few of these, haven’t you?” the girl asks, turning to face me as the lights lift for the next band to begin setting up.
“You could say that,” I reply as I push my hood down.
“You really like this music?” she asks, pushing a now limp curl behind her ear.
I run my tongue over the inside of my cheek. “Yeah, it’s pretty much all I listen to.”
“Really?” her friend asks, turning to face me. She has sleek ebony hair and bright green eyes. The contrast against her pale skin is stunning.<
br />
My fingers tingle as I look down at my black sweatshirt that’s three sizes too big. My hair is just as bad — thrown up into a messy bun. Then there are my funky purple glasses. I swallow hard. I’m not blending in here. I’m standing out, and not in a good way. My eyes skim the room. I’m an aberration. The venue is filled with chicks in low-cut, too tight t-shirts and heavy makeup. So many of these girls love this scene but hate the music. They want a bad boy for arm candy and dress like rebels to piss off their parents. My eyes land on a girl with dark purple hair, and my ribs feel like they’re being squeezed in a vice. I wish I could pull something like that off. I’m pretty sure it would look killer with my gray eyes. My jaw clenches. There’s no way I can do it. My gaze drifts up to Kellin and stomach flips. I wonder if he’d notice me then, or if I’d just blend into this crowd of bimbos.
His eyes scan the room, and a part of me begs them to find mine, but my body reacts differently.
Please don’t see me.
I push back against the wall, trying to hide behind the two girls looking at me as they wait for an answer to a question I can’t even recall now.
The blonde one blinks at me expectantly.
“Yeah,” I reply, hoping my one-word answer will stop their questions.
“It doesn’t give you a headache?” Blondie asks me.
Ah, she’s asking me about the music, because she knows nothing about it.
Because she can’t stand it and just wants that arm candy.
I shake my head. “And I can actually understand what Schmidt is screaming.”
“Schmidt?”
“The screamer,” I reply, and my eyes dart back to where Kellin is leaning against the wall talking to Fague. The guy runs his hands through his hipster beard, and I chuckle to myself.
Rebel Cause (Boys of Fallout Book 3) Page 1
