I stay quiet, and he starts tickling me. I squirm against him, trying not to laugh or give into him.
“Seriously?” Kellin asks as I keep my eyes locked on him and my mouth shut. He stops tickling me, but his hands stay under my shirt. “I guess I’ll have to try something else.”
My brows raise, and his hands slip down to pull our hips together before he presses his lips against mine. I gasp as his mouth moves down to my neck and then my ear.
“Now, tell me what you want to do on our date?” he says, and I close my eyes.
“What are you going to do if I don’t?” I ask, my voice a hoarse whisper as I try to catch my breath.
He pulls away and sits up, crossing his arms and scooting to the other end of the couch. He smirks at me and then lets his lips fall into a stoic line.
“Seriously?” I ask, and he nods. I narrow my eyes at him and stand before going in front of him and putting my knees on either side of him. His mouth twitches, but he keeps his arms crossed. I lean down and kiss his neck, making goosebumps erupt across his skin. His chest rises against his arms as I move my mouth up to his lips, but he doesn’t kiss me back. I smile before pulling his lip piercing into my mouth. His body goes stiff, but he still doesn’t give in.
“Fine!” I say. “Ice skating!”
“Perfect,” he growls before pushing me back into the couch and kissing me. His hands tangle in my hair, and my body arches up into him as he explores my mouth with his tongue.
“You know you both have rooms here!” Lindy says, and Kellin pulls away.
I wipe my mouth as I sit up with my face burning. “Sorry, we got a bit carried away.”
Lindy blinks at me. “A bit? I’m surprised there’s still clothes separating you two!”
Kellin looks over at me, raising one eyebrow and stands, holding out his hand for me. My throat constricts as I think about Lindy’s last statement. What will happen when we’re alone? Kellin seems to sense my nerves and cocks his head, giving me a soft smile.
“We’ll stay clothed,” he says.
I give in, and we go upstairs to his room. I plop down on the beanbag chair as he goes to get his blue acoustic off the wall. He settles across from me on the bed and begins to play. I try to lose myself in the music, but my mind won’t stop racing. Kellin stops mid-song and stares at me.
“What’s wrong? The whole make-out thing and what Lindy said?”
I swallow, and my eyes fall to my hands. Guilt ripples over me in waves. I shouldn’t be thinking about what I am, but I can’t help it.
“Reese?” Kellin pushes, and I look up.
“Can I ask you something?”
Kellin’s brows lift as he nods.
“Is your reputation…with girls true or just another act?”
His tongue runs over his lips as his gaze goes down to his guitar strings. My chest tightens as I watch him breathe in, and then his eyes come to mine.
“You mean how many girls have I slept with?”
I pull my arms against my stomach, fighting the urge to vomit. Kellin leans forward, resting his arms on his knees.
“I don’t know how to answer that question,” he says, and his hands slip to the back of his neck. “I didn’t keep a tally…I get if it makes you nervous about us.”
He looks up, and he’s pale. “I’m clean, though.”
I nod, but can’t figure out what to say. I’m glad to hear it. It’s just the imaginary number bouncing around compared to mine, and the what if I suck compared to the other girls thought.
“Five,” I say, and Kellin’s forehead wrinkles. The rest tumbles out so fast I’m not sure if he catches it all. “That’s how many people I’ve been with. Last time was like nine months ago. I’m clean, too.”
Kellin stands, and I move over on the bean bag. “Six months for me.”
My head jerks back and he narrows his eyes at me. “I’m sorry, it’s just you’re…”
“Kellin Lake,” he cuts me off using his hands to make quotation marks. “Making out with random girls is a lot different than screwing them. Lots of girls say they’ve slept with me. I just don’t bother to correct them.”
I put my head on his shoulder, and he puts his arm around me, resting his hand on my hip.
“Why so long?” I ask.
“I figured it wasn’t fair that I’d be thinking about you the whole time. Ever since that bathing suit,” Kellin replies, shaking his head. “That image has held me over.”
I smile up at him, and he winks.
“You’re really good; you know that?” I say.
He pulls his lip piercing taut against his skin. “I hope so.”
The way his skin flushes from his neck up to his cheeks lets me know he means it in more than one way. His nerves are cute and settle mine.
“I’ll let you know,” I tease and he nips my neck. “Your kissing is superb, though. Definitely an A plus.”
“I think I need to keep practicing, though,” Kellin says, and his hand comes up to tilt my chin, so I’m facing him.
“You can never practice enough,” I reply.
Chapter 21
It’s Saturday morning and Kellin’s rehearsing new music with the band, which leaves me available for some girl time with Lindy. I’m afraid she’ll have other plans, but when I go downstairs, she’s sitting on the couch eating cereal looking bored.
“Hey,” I say, grabbing a bowl and sitting across from her. She pushes me the box of cereal and milk.
She’s still half asleep, and answers, “Mhmm.”
She’s not a morning person, and it makes me laugh.
“I thought maybe we could go to the outlets?” I say, and her head shoots up.
She’s suddenly perky. Shopping does that to her.
“Seriously, you don’t have plans with Kell?” she asks, and I shake my head slowly. She squeaks a bit before nodding. “Definitely. It’s a lot more fun now that you actually have some style.”
My eyelids droop as I look at her. She gives me a toothless smile, and I roll my eyes.
“Isn’t it more fun than it used to be?” she pushes.
I give in, nodding. “A bit.”
She looks down at her cell phone. “Alright, I’m going to go take a shower and then we can hit Starbucks. We’ll get there just as the stores open.”
I look at the clock on the microwave. “You’re going to get ready in what, ten minutes total?”
“Yes,” she says, standing and placing her bowl in the sink. “They’re having a sale at Francesca’s, and you know how crazy people get over that.”
I laugh as she heads down the hall. I know how crazy she gets over that, but I’ve never seen anyone else because she always makes sure we’re there before anyone else. My cell phone buzzes across the table as I stand to put my bowl away.
Kellin – Miss you. Have a fun day with Lindy.
I take the steps two at a time and shower quickly. When I get downstairs, Lindy is already standing and waiting for me at the door. She jingles her keys, and I follow her out to her car.
“So I guess from the epic makeout session I walked in on that everything worked out fine?” Lindy asks, looking over at me.
“Yeah, but not because I actually said something,” I reply and Lindy raises her eyebrows before looking back at the road. “Tyler was being an ass — saying it was fake and it was sad I would sink that low to make him jealous. Kellin grabbed me and pulled me into this amazing kiss.”
Lindy cringes. “Sorry, I’m going to have to get used to you dating my brother. We can have guy talk… but please, keep the juicy details to yourself. I know I share them, but he is my brother. And please keep me in the loop. I know you’re dating him, and he’s your best friend too — but I don’t want to be replaced. I need you.”
“I need you too,” I say, reaching over and squeezing her arm. “I can’t vent to Kellin about himself, can I?”
“So you don’t think he’s perfect?” Lindy says, smirking at me, and I shake my head.
“Ha ha! But I expect if he vents to you about me that you’ll tell me.”
“Deal,” she says as she parks the car.
“So what about you?” I ask, and we head down the walkway towards the coffee shop without talking about it.
Lindy shrugs. “Billy and I broke up. He just wanted one thing, and we never talked. It was…I don’t know, kind of flat. I want something more than that, you know?”
“Totally,” I reply. “It’s nice that Kellin and I were friends first.”
“It doesn’t make things weird?” Lindy asks as we reach the shop and go to stand in line.
“Not really, it doesn’t feel all that different — except now I don’t have to keep telling myself to stop thinking about him physically. I can act on it…to some degree,” I reply, and my mouth goes dry.
Lindy cocks her head at me. “To some degree?”
I shrug, and she narrows her eyes at me.
“Are you worried about when you guys decide to…” Her voice drifts, and she swallows before shaking her head and saying, “Take it to the next level?”
I look straight ahead, rolling my head from shoulder to shoulder.
“Ah,” Lindy says. “What part of it?”
I glance over at her. “I thought you didn’t want to talk about the ‘juicy’ parts?”
She puts her hands up. “I’m fine giving advice. Just don’t tell me how good he is…now what part of it?”
“What if I suck?”
Lindy bursts out laughing, and my eyes widen at her. “Sorry, it’s just you two love each other. I don’t know much about that kind of sex, but I’m pretty sure that makes it way better than anything he’s ever had with someone else. Plus, you guys have had the hots for each other for years. I’m sure that will make for a…” She pauses and gags a bit. “Steamy release.”
My jaw drops, and she shrugs.
“Listen I saw your makeout session, it doesn’t take a stretch of the imagination to figure out that’s going to lead to something good,” Lindy replies as we reach the counter to place our orders.
Once we have them, we go and sit down on a bench. I look down at my cup and Lindy knocks her shoulders with me.
“What else about it?” she asks, and I look up at her with my brow furrowed. “I do know you pretty well.”
I tap my foot against the ground, inhaling before I finally answer, “How soon is too soon?”
“Technically, you’ve been dating what two months?” she asks, and I nod. “I would say three weeks ago. Things are different for you guys. You already know each other.”
“That’s not slutty?”
Lindy looks over at me, and her brows go up. “You’re not slutty, Ree. That’s me.”
“Not true,” I say, and she blinks at me. “Not really.”
Lindy rolls her eyes before taking a sip of her coffee. We sit in silence for a moment.
“So any prospects now that Billy is out of the picture?” I ask as we stand and head toward Lindy’s favorite clothing store.
She shrugs. “College guys had such an appeal when we were in high school. Now, not so much.”
“So you’re crushing on someone who’s not a college guy?” I ask, and she bites her lip. “Where would you have…No, not Temp.”
“Why not?”
My jaw goes slack. “He’s your brother’s best friend.”
Lindy stops, crossing her arms and stares me down. I put my hands up.
“Okay, I see it now,” I reply, and we start walking again. “But Temp’s not really your typical type.”
“Maybe it’s time for a change,” Lindy says, looking over at me. Her lips quirk at the edges. “It seems to have worked well for you.”
“But Temp? That’s like jumping into the deep end of the pool,” I say, and she bites her lip.
“You think he’s out of my league?”
I stop and grab her arm to turn her to face me. “That’s definitely not what I was saying. He’s just the exact opposite of the jocks you usually date.”
She smirks. “He seemed pretty buff to me.”
“The guys work out before rehearsal. Apparently, the endorphins help them write,” I reply with a shrug. “Aside from that, he’s artsy.”
“Artsy?”
“He just looks like a badass,” I explain, and Lindy laughs.
“Kind of like you and my brother.”
I bite my lip with a nod. “You have a point.”
“The thing is, I don’t know how to get a hold of him, and I really don’t want to get a tattoo,” Lindy replies, and her shoulders go up.
“You could come to one of your brother’s gigs. We always hang out a little bit afterward,” I say, and Lindy’s eyes light up.
“Really?” she asks, and I nod over her shoulder towards the store.
“Let’s go get you an outfit that will make him trip over his tongue. I’m thinking softcore rebel without a cause,” I reply with a wink.
Lindy links her arm in mine. “Perfect.”
Chapter 22
I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as the music thrums through my skull. It isn’t helping me contain the urge to walk across the hall and climb into bed with Kellin. I sit up and pull my legs to my chest as I yank the ear buds out and toss them aside. The music isn’t distracting me from my thoughts like I’m hoping it will. Lindy helped me deal with most of my concerns, but Tyler’s words echo through my head; he’s only with you because you’re hot now. I fight down the burn of doubt that courses up my throat and makes me nauseous. Kellin said he wasn’t with me now because I’m pretty, but I can’t help but wonder exactly when Kellin figured out he was in love with me. I stand, putting my hands into my hair as I pace the room. I stop and stare at the door. Tyler only knows the Kellin that Kellin hides behind in school.
I know Kellin, don’t I? I tilt my head back, closing my eyes before walking forward and slowly opening the door. My heart beat quickens as I step out and cross the threshold, opening his door and slipping inside.
“Hey,” Kellin says, looking up at me from the guitar he’s restringing in his lap. “What are you doing up so late?”
I glance at the clock beside his bed: 3:00 AM.
“I could ask you the same thing?” I reply, coming forward as he moves so I can sit next to him on the bed.
“Can’t sleep,” he answers with a shrug, smirking at me as he finishes stringing the last one and begins to tune it.
I put my head on his shoulder as the doubts drifts away. “And why is that?”
He looks down at me, green eyes mocking as his brows arched over them. “Couldn’t be that my super hot girlfriend is just across the hall from me in…” he slips his hand up my thigh, causing my skin to prickle with electricity; “skimpy boy shorts and a tiny tank top…with no bra on.”
Heat rushes up my chest to my face, and I can’t hold his stare any longer.
“And why were you up?” he asks, letting his hand slide back down to a more appropriate area, or at least one that doesn’t have my mind wandering too much.
I swallow as a new wave of sickness washes over me, this time a mixture of guilt and nerves. I shake my head, looking ahead at his row of guitars hanging on the wall.
“No reason really,” I reply.
Kellin stiffens beside me, and I know he doesn’t believe me. “I kind of doubt that one. What’s bugging you, Ree?”
I tilt my head back against the wall as I breathe in through my nose before turning my head to look at him.
“I love you, Kellin…” I struggle to find the words and my voice drifts as I press my eyes shut.
Kellin tilts my chin, his voice prompting me to open my eyes.
“I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you standing in the crowd at one of my shows…You’d seen me playing in the garage, and somehow you found out about the show. I was horrified,” his voice drifts as his thumb grazes over my lips. “I desperately wanted to jump off that stage and tell you it wasn’t what you thought it was
…that I wasn’t a new version of Justin Timberlake…but then the guys started to play, and I had to follow through. I kept singing, song after song, dying to look at you–but too afraid to see your reaction. But then I did, and I saw your face was filled with wonder — amazement, and you were screaming with the rest of the crowd, except none of them mattered…Only you did, and I thanked God for you then. That no matter what you always saw me for me. And I thank him every time you go to a show, even when you used to hide in the background because you’ve been at every show since then…and in my mind, I’m just playing for you.”
My breath catches in my throat as I stare up at him. “You knew I was there?”
He nods, pressing his forehead to mine as his eyes wash over my face. “Always…the second you walk in, I know you’re there. I always wished you’d come up and say hi…why didn’t you?”
I run my teeth over my lips as I take a ragged breath, closing my eyes as I figure out why. When I open them to look into Kellin’s face, I know what I’ve been denying all along. I hadn’t fallen for the man in front of me a few months ago.
“It was easier to love you in the background, where I thought you’d never see me.”
“I always saw you, Ree. Always,” he whispers.
Tears form in my eyes, and his eyes race over mine.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, his voice cracking.
“Nothing,” I reply as I lean forward and press my lips to his. I pull away, so his breath washes over me. “Nothing is ever wrong when I’m with you.”
His eyes meet mine, and I can’t help but lean in to kiss him again. I don’t need to breathe anymore. I just need his lips against mine. They leave me, drifting down my neck as he moves to place the guitar on the side of the bed. He slides his body over mine, pressing our entwined hands into the pillows as his tongue parts my lips and plays against mine. I gasp, squeezing my eyes shut tighter as his mouth moves down my neck and collarbone to my chest. I slip my hands under his shirt, pulling it over his head so I can see his tattoos in their glory against his softly accentuated muscles. He watches me carefully as I sit up and ran my fingers over the words on his collarbone, down the flowers of his sleeve and finally over the script traveling over his rib cage and down to his hip. My hand settles on the waistband of his boxers as I push him back into the bed. His chest rises sharply as I lean forward and let my lips trace the same lines, down to his hip.
Rebel Cause (Boys of Fallout Book 3) Page 11
