People say that a mother’s love is unconditional; they say that the connection between a mother and her child is the strongest bond there is; but what about the people who know of no such love? If a mother, who is supposed to be the epitome of selflessness, is only a wolf dressed up in her clothing… what becomes of her child?
I had no time to entertain such thoughts, though. Chase could not know. We arrived in California, and he had to prepare for his big break. I did not want him to feel an ounce of guilt, or second-guess his decision. He couldn’t be bogged down with my issues. It was up to me to help keep him focused. I would do anything and everything I could to make this the happiest time for him, even if it meant suffering alone.
Chase walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “What do you think?”
“It’s really nice.”
“It’s our first place together,” he whispered into my ear.
I smiled, closing my eyes as he planted little kisses along my neck. “It’s a big step.”
“I’m ready for it.” He turned me around and took my face into his hands. “I’ve been ready since the moment we met.”
“We were five when we met. You really knew I was the one back then?”
He jabbed my side playfully. “You know what I mean, smartass.”
I giggled, and pressed my mouth against his. Slipping my hands under his shirt, I ran my fingertips along his muscular stomach. “Want to go christen the bedroom?”
“You’re not worn out from last night?”
“No, but if you are I understand.” I backed away from him, pretending to pout.
Before I knew what was happening, Chase picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I squealed as he carried me to the bedroom.
Chase and I spent the better part of the afternoon tangled up in our new red sheets. Then, we took a walk to the nearby market for some food to stock our refrigerator with. Before I knew it, it was five o’clock and he was kissing me goodbye.
I reached for my phone on the coffee table and decided to call Shelly. It would be weird going out tonight without her, and I missed having her by my side.
“Can you lie to me and tell me you hate it?” Shelly begged from the other side of the phone.
“So far, it all seems really nice. I won’t have an opinion until I’ve been here for a while.”
She sighed. “You sound so far away.”
“I know. I wish you were with me. It would make things much easier.”
“Yeah. The hours of endless sex with the man of your dreams sounds so difficult. You poor thing.”
I laughed.
“Does he know you’re avoiding your feelings by having sex?”
“Shut up and just let me tell you that I miss you.”
“Fine. I miss you, too. What time does Chase go on tonight?”
“He’s downstairs practicing with the guys now.” I held my phone away from my ear to check the time. “I’ll head down there in an hour or so. It’s going to feel so weird sitting at the bar by myself all night.”
“Have a drink. It will take the edge off.”
“The last time I had a drink to take the edge off, I ended up in a coma for two weeks.”
“You need to forget about that. Nobody there knows a thing about you. You don’t have to be the girl whose mother left her, or the girl whose father killed himself, or even the girl who crashed into a tree. You can be your new and improved self, fully equipped with a clean slate. Besides, you’re not driving tonight. The most damage you could do is stumble up the stairs back to your apartment.”
“I guess so.”
“I’m sure you’ll make friends in no time. Just don’t make any new best friends, okay?”
I smiled. “No one could ever take your place.”
“Good. Brody and I are already trying to figure out when we can come visit.”
“Great.” I took a deep breath before asking my next question. “So, have you seen or heard anything about Claire being in town?”
“Nope. I’ve had my eyes peeled, but it doesn’t look like she’s here.”
“Good.”
“Don’t worry about her, alright? You’re a million miles away. Go have a blast tonight.”
I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat, realizing that I had to hang up with her now. “I will. Love you, Toad.”
“Love you, Frog.”
Alone again in the apartment, I stood from the couch and made a beeline for my closet. I was not sure how dressy the LA girls would be at the bar tonight. I was equally worried about being over or underdressed. I decided on a pair of my tight, ripped jeans, a black low-cut tank top, and black strappy wedges. The humidity here was much lower than the usual humidity in New York, so my curls were actually working with me for a change. I shook them out, dabbed some clear gloss on my lips, and headed out the door.
As nervous as I was about being alone in a new environment, Shelly was right. I could be whoever I wanted to be. I didn’t have to be the responsible, careful little girl I once was. There was no sense crying over the past, when no one here knew what my past was. I could enjoy myself, and be excited for Chase to take the stage in front of important record label bigwigs. It was the moment he had always dreamed about, and I was lucky enough to be here to witness it.
The muffled beat of the DJ got louder as I descended down the stairs. I peeked out from behind the door and scanned the crowded room for Chase. He was already on stage, while his bandmates tuned up their instruments.
“Are you planning on hiding behind the door all night?”
The voice startled me, and I jumped.
“I’m Dave,” he said chuckling. “You must be Merritt.”
“You work here?”
“I’m the full-time bartender. I’m here every night. You’ll be seeing a lot of this face.” He held his hands up around his face, and awaited my response.
I raised my eyebrows, trying to smile. “Lucky me… I think?”
He grinned. “Chase said you were sarcastic. I dig it.” He gestured to the stool next to me, at the head of the bar. “Best seat in the house.”
I sat with my wristlet in my lap.
“So, Merritt. What’s your drink of choice?”
I shrugged. “Surprise me.”
His eyebrows raised above his black-rimmed glasses. “Do you like sweet things?”
“Usually.”
“How about I’ll make you a few different drinks, and you can see which one you like best?”
“Will I have to pay for all of those drinks?”
He laughed. “It’s on the house. You and Chase don’t pay for drinks here.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
Dave mixed while I patiently waited for Chase to notice me from the other side of the room. The bar was crowded, but I was perched in perfect view of the stage. I was also in perfect view of the scantily clad blonde, tanned, and toned girls who were excessively flipping their hair and laughing obnoxiously loud to catch his attention.
“Why does every girl’s modus operandi to get attention always involve ear-piercing pitch, and hair primping? It’s like watching birds on Animal Planet.”
“Don’t pay them any mind,” Dave advised. He sat two glasses in front of me, one pink and one yellow, along with one martini glass filled with another pink liquid. “Okay, so, these are your basic girly drinks: this one’s a Malibu Bay Breeze; this is an Amaretto Sour; and this is your classic Cosmo. If you don’t like any of these, I’ll go back to the drawing board.”
I took a sip of the Bay Breeze, and bobbed my head in approval. I tried the Amaretto Sour, and tipped my hand from side to side, unsure if I liked it enough to drink an entire glass. I took a sip of the Cosmopolitan, and my left eye involuntarily closed. “I definitely don’t like this one.”
Dave looked surprised. “You don’t like vodka. You’re from New York. Doesn’t everybody there drink Cosmos?”
“Does everyone in California drink kale juice and say, “Surf’s
up, dude,”?”
He laughed. “Okay. That’s fair.”
Chase finally spotted me. A wide grin spread across his face as he jumped down from the stage. He walked past the group of blondes without so much as a look in their direction. His eyes were too busy surveying my body as I stood to give him a hug.
“Hey, man. You’re girl’s a pisser.” Dave motioned to me with his thumb. “I’m going to like having her around to keep me company.”
“Don’t get any ideas. She’s mine,” Chase joked. He wrapped his arms around me. “You look incredible.”
“I wasn’t sure what people wore here.” I motioned to the half-naked blondes, who were now watching us in dismay. “But I guess sluts dress like sluts, no matter what state you’re in.”
“It’s true,” Dave chimed in.
Chase shook his head. “My eyes are going to be glued to you and only you tonight.”
“Should I throw my bra at you? Oh, maybe you can sign my boob! It will make you look like a real rock star in front of the guys from the record label.”
He scanned the bar until his eyes settled on a man in a suit sitting at the opposite end of the bar. He tilted his head in his direction. “That’s the guy we’re looking to impress tonight.”
“You already impressed him, otherwise he wouldn’t be here. Remember that.”
Chase turned back to me, his hazel eyes sparkling with excitement. “Did I tell you how happy I am that you’re here with me?”
I pulled him in for a lingering kiss. “Knock ‘em dead, baby.”
He winked, and vanished into the crowd.
The flock of blondes standing by the stage were now staring at me, and talking into each other’s ears. I laughed to myself, as I thought about how at home that actually made me feel. I sat back down on my stool, sipping my pink drink, and starting to feel more at ease in my surroundings. I had already made friends with Dave the bartender. Maybe tonight wouldn’t be as bad as my anxiety swore it would be.
Dave came by with another Malibu Bay Breeze to replace the almost-empty glass in front of me. “This one is compliments of Mr. Suit and Tie down at the other end of the bar.”
I met eyes with the man, and flashed my best smile as I raised my glass to thank him. He raised his glass, and nodded slightly. That had to be a good sign. I couldn’t wait to tell Chase.
“Do me a favor,” Dave said, leaning in. “Don’t take drinks from anybody except for me. Got it?”
“I’m from New York, remember? You don’t have to worry about me.”
He grinned. “I know, I know. I just had to say it.”
The strum of the guitar signaled that it was show time. The crowd cheered as the lights dimmed.
Chase’s voice came on the microphone. “Underground, we’re back!”
The cheers got louder.
“Are you ready?”
The room erupted even louder than before. I noticed Mr. Suit and Tie smirking as he looked around. His attention quickly settled back on Chase once he opened his mouth to start singing.
Chase looked like he had been doing this his whole life. If he was nervous, even I could not tell. He belted out one eighties hit after another, throwing in several favorites from the nineties after the crowd’s response to the first. Everyone was either jumping or dancing to the beat, and singing along with Chase as he worked the crowd. His arm muscles glistened from the sweat that was dripping down his body. His voice sounded amazing over the sound system. I was incredibly proud of him, and proud to witness this moment. I snapped a few pictures with my phone, along with a video. I wanted to document the night Chase was signed to his first record label.
Dave was busy, but continued to check on me to see if I needed anything throughout the night. He was kind, and I was grateful to feel like I knew someone. Tall and thin, his dark hair was perfectly parted to one side, and doused with so much product that it didn’t budge all night. His dark almond-shaped eyes were softened by his warm smile. Though he was not my type, he definitely seemed to be a hit with the ladies, considering how they ogled him while he served their drinks. He entertained them, but under the surface, looked uninterested.
“You’re new here.”
I looked at the stranger who was suddenly standing to my right.
“Where are you from?” he asked.
“New York.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Wow. What brings you to the other side of the continent?”
I pointed at the stage. “That man holding the microphone.”
He sneered. “You came all the way here because of some wannabe rock star?”
I placed my drink down, and swiveled in my seat to face him. “No. I came all the way here because my boyfriend is being signed to a record label.”
“How come you’re not off chasing your own dreams? What are you going to do while he’s busy becoming a star?”
“Definitely not talk to you.” I turned back to face the bar.
Dave handed his customer a beer, and made his way over to me. “Everything okay here?” he asked, giving the stranger a skeptical eye.
“Oh, we’re fine here,” he responded with a smile. “I was just getting rejected by this beautiful young woman.”
“Take the hint,” Dave suggested.
“I’d rather take my chances.”
I rolled my eyes, and then returned them back to the stage.
When Chase’s final set had ended, no sooner did he appear at my side. “Who’s your friend?”
“I’m Jake.” The stranger extended his hand.
“Jake, this is my – how did you put it – wannabe rock star boyfriend, Chase.” I smiled.
Chase shook his hand a bit harder than he normally shook hands. “Nice to meet ya, Jake.”
“Have a nice night,” he said to us with a nod. “Nice meeting you, New York.”
Chase shook his head. “I can’t leave you for two minutes.”
I laughed. “I had it handled.”
“Come on. I want to introduce you to the guys.”
I stood and snuck a five-dollar bill under my glass, and made my way to the stage.
“This is Bobby, Philip, and Chad.” Chase pointed to the guitarist, bassist, and drummer respectively. They waved.
I returned the wave. “It’s nice to meet you. You guys sounded great.”
“Thank you,” replied Chad. “The suit seemed pleased.”
I leaned in eagerly. “He was smiling and tapping along to every song. So what happens now?”
“Now, I make our boys famous.” Donnie appeared from behind me. “How did you enjoy the show, Merritt?”
“They were awesome.”
“Good. Okay, boys. Let’s go make a deal.”
Chase leaned in for a kiss. “If this takes a while, you can head upstairs. I’ll meet you up there.”
“I’m actually going to head up now. My feet are killing me. Good luck.”
As I turned, a thin blonde stopped in front of me. “Excuse me. Are you Chase’s girlfriend?”
I arched an eyebrow, instantly in defense mode. “I am.”
“I’m Brooke. I’m Philip’s girlfriend.”
My expression immediately softened. “Oh, Philip the bassist?”
She smiled, revealing her dazzlingly white teeth. “Yes. I just wanted to introduce myself.”
“I’m glad you did. It’s nice to know someone who’s going through the same thing.”
“We should exchange numbers. I can show you around.”
“Sure.” I took out my phone, and we inputted each other’s information.
“Your hair is gorgeous.” A slightly shorter blonde outstretched her hand.
“This is my friend Michelle,” Brooke said.
“Thank you.” I smiled as I shook Michelle’s hand.
“How do you get it to curl like that?” she asked.
“It just grows out of my head this way.”
They both laughed identical high-pitched laughs. I did everything in my power to stop myse
lf from holding my ear and closing one eye, as I often did when Shelly squealed.
“Well, it was nice meeting you guys. I’m going to call it a night.”
“The time change can take a while to get used to,” Brooke offered, making it apparent that one o’clock in the morning was too early to be heading to bed.
“Night.”
I waved to Dave as I walked towards the door, but he jogged over. Still, his hair did not move out of place. “You didn’t have to leave me a tip. I told you, your money is no good here.”
“I really appreciate your hospitality tonight.”
“You are very welcome. I’m glad we found a drink for you.”
“Me, too.”
Chapter Four: Chasing Merritt
The next day, my phone buzzed incessantly for almost an hour. I tried to ignore it, but I knew the girl calling was quite persistent.
“Why are you calling so early?” I groaned.
“Early?” Shelly screeched into my ear. “It’s the afternoon! Are you still in bed?”
“I got in late last night.”
“There’s a three hour time difference,” Chase mumbled. He pulled me over to his side of the bed, and I rested my head on his bare chest.
“Yes, I know,” Shelly replied. “I’ve been up for hours, patiently waiting for a reasonable hour to call!”
I rubbed the sleepiness from my eyes. “What’s up?”
“I wanted to hear about your night. How did it go with the record label guys?”
“It went great. They have a meeting today.”
“And how did you do?”
“She got hit on by Jake the douchebag,” Chase said, chuckling with his eyes closed.
“Jake? Who’s Jake?”
“Nobody important,” I yawned. “Dave was nice, though.”
“Who are all these guys? Anybody cute?”
“Hey!” both Chase and Brody exclaimed in unison.
I giggled. “Aww Brody! I miss you!”
“Him? What about me?” Shelly asked.
“You know I miss you.”
“How many times have you had sex this morning?”
“We just woke up, Shell.”
“We’re about to get started, though.” Chase rolled me onto my back and began kissing my stomach.
Avoidance Page 4
