The woman looked down and gasped, completely unaware that her damn robe tie had fallen from her waist, blown into her perfectly cut and manicured front yard and left her semi-exposed for his wandering, perverted eyes to take in and completely enjoy. In her rage, she must’ve been so consumed with the moment at hand, she’d had no idea the wind had molested her right before his very eyes. He may have been hauling useless trash, but the look on her face was fucking priceless!
*
People throw away perfectly good things that other individuals could have, make good use of…
Sean sat there in his brother’s apartment, waiting for the bastard to return with their damn dinner. His thoughts raced here and there as the drone from the television played a used car commercial. He sat cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by odds and ends he’d found along his weekly trek on the garbage routes. He’d never coined himself a packrat, magpie or anything of the like—but he did believe he was skilled at finding a diamond in the rough. His brief substitute stint with the little league team had come to an end, and he already missed his boys…yeah, his boys. They’d grown attached to him as well, and though the extra free time allowed him more hours for study and training, there was still a void, a bottomless pit inside that he tried to ignore, but it was simply in vain.
The hollowness within him made him toss and turn in his own mind. That must be why he was always on the go, always staying busy. He was afraid that once he got still, became quiet, he’d hear the creaky doors of his mind open, allowing the messiness of emotional turmoil to make itself comfortable within. No, he couldn’t have that. It was simply too much. The horrible shit would come back, mess him up, and make him pay over and over until his heart was destitute.
He rolled the notions over, revealing them face first as he sat in Colin’s apartment, the small yet homey place smelling of burnt hair and sweet ointments. His brother’s girlfriend, Lydia, had fried her damn tresses again to a fucking crisp. The woman would stand there in their colorful fish-theme decorated bathroom and painstakingly go over sections of brittle, blond hair with a curling iron, wrapping them tightly around the hot, smoking barrel just so. He had to piss so badly, but the woman wouldn’t budge, determined to turn herself into a sight to behold while he tried to keep from soiling his pants like some damn preschooler.
“Just uh minute,” she kept repeating to no avail as he rallied behind her. He dismissed himself, hobbling away with a sloshing bladder until he found himself sitting back on the floor amongst his newfound treasures.
He picked up a small white plastic bag full of Barbie doll clothing, some of it still in its original packaging, then tossed it aside. It would all be listed on eBay before the end of the night. Reaching over his picnic mass of used and abused wares, he grasped an iPhone 4 car charger, still in its new, unopened wrapper. It was old, but someone out there just may want it. He set that down and unfastened a folder full of sketches of what appeared to be an art class study of a nude, middle-aged woman. He felt they were pretty good, and he’d list ’em on eBay as well—folks tended to go for that sort of thing. He could easily get ten bucks a piece for ’em.
Just then, the front door swung open, revealing his clean-shaven, dark blond haired, butter-mouthed sibling with a white bag of greasy, aromatic cheeseburgers stuffed under his pit.
“Did jah get some more stamps?!” the man whispered as he made a mad dash toward him, like that’s what the world demanded—more firecracker collector stamps from the July 4ths of the distant past.
“No! Would you forget the stamps already?” Sean snatched the bag of oily burgers from the guy, tore it open and reached in the sack with hungry determination. He forgot his need to piss as he removed one wax paper covered ball of deliciousness, quickly undressed it as if he’d never eaten a day in his life, and stuffed it unceremoniously into his awaiting mouth.
“Got anything to drink?” he asked around a mouthful of bread, the tang of a sliced pickle tickling his throat.
“Yeah, help yourself.”
Sean got to his feet and pointed down at the floor. “I got another bag in the car. It was too big to bring in but I want you to take a look.”
“Yeah? What’s in it?” The guy took a bite of his own sandwich, rolling the flavorful meat along his tongue while his eyes lit up with anticipation for more.
“A bunch uh shit.” Sean made the short trek to the kitchen area, plucked the grimy refrigerator door open, and beheld a beautiful assortment of chilled beers, fancy wine coolers, and a jug of chocolate milk, all face forward, just like it would be at a convenience store. He surveyed his array of choices and grabbed an Icehouse beer from the pack. As he closed the refrigerator door, he jumped up in the air, his arm swung outward in reflex, but the bastard ducked in the nick of time.
“Jesus Christ, Colin!”
“Did I scare ya?”
“No.” Sean clutched the neck of the cold, wet bottle and moved around him toward the counter drawer to grab a fork for his coleslaw. “I just like shittin’ on myself in midair!” He felt a slight tinkle, and knew his time was almost up.
Colin chuckled. “You’ll shit ya self for real after I tell you this. Did you know you picked up a diamond ring, man?!”
Sean paused, tossing the fork on the counter.
“A what?”
“Yeah, a diamond ring! I debated on even telling you…I could see you hadn’t opened the bag yet. You’re lucky you’re my brother. It was in that little green sack of yours. I put it back, wanted you to see it in its original habitat,” he joked.
Sean abruptly moved past him, the unopened beer in his hand, and made his way back into the shoebox sized living room where he’d set up nomadic roots. Falling to his knees, he set the beer on the floor beside him and rummaged through the collection. He found the green bag, reached inside and pulled out a twisted, knotted mess of costume jewelry, rubber bands, and odds and ends. Searching through it like an archaeological sifter, he finally caught sight of the damn thing.
“Oh shit, man…I thought you were joking.” He turned it around and around, staring at it in total disbelief. He smiled. “It’s big.”
Colin sat down beside him, took a bite of his burger. “It’s real, too,” he said with a mouth full.
“Yeah, I can see that,” Sean whispered. “How much you think it’s worth?”
“It’s got to be at least five carats…it depends on the clarity and cut. But from first glance, I’d say a lot.” He swallowed. “I’m no expert at that sort of thing. You need to have it appraised.”
“Yeah, but how much will that cost?”
“I don’t know.” Colin shrugged. “Maybe like forty or fifty bucks…it’ll be well worth it.”
Sean nodded in agreement.
“Cool.”
Colin handed him the beer cap opener, and they soon drank from their respective bottles, both of their minds no doubt working overtime regarding the rare find. Lydia entered the room, her hand on her narrow hip and a stern look on her heavily made-up face.
“You two clowns! Where is my food? Did you greedy bastards eat it already?” she barked, but they both knew it was simply her way.
“Right here.” Colin reached in the paper bag. It rustled a bit as he dislodged a carefully wrapped chicken sandwich and handed it to her.
She plopped down between the two of them, getting comfy, as if they were old friends. Sean placed the green bag over the diamond, disguising it just so, then made his escape to the restroom. A couple minutes later he returned to them at least two pounds lighter. The three huddled together, listening to the television. Lydia’s freshly pressed tresses layered against her shoulders and the scent of her strawberry shampoo intermingled with the burnt odor. Sean slicked the diamond ring into his pocket, his thoughts drifting here and there.
I’ve heard about people finding stuff like this, but how could someone not know that they’d thrown a diamond ring away? Especially one this big? Was it on purpose?
He shrugged and
took another bite of his sandwich. A piece of wayward lettuce tickled the side of his mouth.
I could turn it in, see if someone lost it…
Fuck that shit! I could sure use the cash.
He took a swig of his beer and let his gaze drift toward the front window with the clunky air conditioner unit sticking out of it. Full of white, frosty condensation, it rattled and spun noisy, churning tunes. He’d found the damn thing for Colin a couple of years ago, one of a kind and built to last…
People throw away candy wrappers, empty juice cartons, valuable comics, and diamond rings…like it’s all the same, all garbage. People throw away people, too… Yeah, I know what that’s like, that’s the worst feeling of all. At least, garbage knows it’s garbage I suppose… I wonder if I’m worth somethin’ to somebody important? Like, some dignitary might want my time, my opinion, my advice one day.
He took another bite of his sandwich as he daydreamed, feeling a tad bit foolish.
Just because somebody throws ya away don’t mean you aren’t worth shit. I’m worth a lot, even if I’m the only one who knows it…
*
So that’s what it was like being there… –Sapphire Storm
I’ve never been to Betony before. –FINDERKEEPER
It was surprisingly good tonight. It’s always good though, but tonight was even better. –Sapphire Storm
How was the date, though? –FINDERKEEPER
Oh, it was ok…wasn’t a marriage of the minds, that’s for sure. –Sapphire Storm
You don’t have me convinced. Speaking of which, have you ever been married? –FINDERKEEPER
No, I haven’t. You? –Sapphire Storm
Yes. I live on a polygamous ranch. I am the only man within a 500 mile radius and I have seventeen wives. They make cherry pies and homemade granola bars for me. Late at night, my eighty-two children put on sock puppet shows by the fire. –FINDERKEEPER
Haha, silly. I am serious. –Sapphire Storm
Instead of Haha, you can use ‘LOL’ –FINDERKEEPER
What does LOL mean? –Sapphire Storm
Laugh Out Loud. –FINDERKEEPER
Ok. Got it. Back to the topic though. These conversations are too much about me and my dating. For two weeks now, I’ve done nothing but complain to you. I’m ready to hear about you for a change. –Sapphire Storm
Sean’s lips twisted into a kinked smirk. Almost every evening, he and Ms. Sapphire Storm chatted online anywhere between ten and thirty-minute intervals, and he made sure the focus stayed on her, solely on her. Honestly, he was enjoying himself and looking forward to hearing of her dating exploits. It broke up his monotony, and she came across as genuine, amusing and intelligent. Not once did she ask about his job, what he looked like, how much money he made, nothing of the sort.
He simply enjoyed hearing about her adventures, her rants. And best of all, her sense of humor was just as twisted, sarcastic and whimsical as his own. It got to the point where he was looking for her to log on, and when he’d see that tiny light shine and the ‘ding’ sound out on his computer, he’d grab a bottle of water and possibly a snack, hunker down in the middle of his bed and get settled for his nighttime comedy routine. It made him feel good to make the lady laugh, and she never asked him for more than his listening ear…but she did ask for time, in her own way.
Time was something he simply couldn’t spare, but in the case of Sapphire Storm, what began as a self-challenge from a friend who’d called him self-absorbed turned into a willing experience, something that allowed him to relax a bit. He didn’t have to prove anything, and he was accepted ‘AS IS’, regardless of his scratches, bruises and dents. He was the floor model, but she didn’t seem to mind one bit. She treated him like he was the best thing smokin’.
Are you going to tell me? –Sapphire Storm
No, I haven’t been married. What else do you want to know? –FINDERKEEPER
I’m curious as to what you look like. –Sapphire Storm
Okay, now, here it goes. I knew it was coming. Her trend of staying in her place has ended.
What do YOU look like? –FINDERKEEPER
I asked you first… –Sapphire Storm
I look like Mr. Eugene H. Krabs… –FINDERKEEPER
What? Who is that? –Sapphire Storm
The red crustacean that owns the Crusty Crab restaurant on SpongeBob, the cartoon. We are practically physical carbon copies. –FINDERKEEPER
LOL. You are crazy. No really, what do you look like? Can I see a photo? –Sapphire Storm
My looks aren’t important and no, you can’t see a pic. –FINDERKEEPER
Why not? –Sapphire Storm
You might fall in love. I’d hate for that to happen…it would complicate our intellectual vibe. –FINDERKEEPER
I’ll take my chances. –Sapphire Storm
I prefer it this way. –FINDERKEEPER
Really? So you’re serious about this laying low stuff? –Sapphire Storm
Yes. –FINDERKEEPER
Aren’t you the least bit curious as to what I look like? –Sapphire Storm
Yes, but I’d prefer to not know at this point. It could spoil everything. –FINDERKEEPER
What? Like if you saw that I look like an ogre? LOL –Sapphire Storm
LOL. Maybe. I like your personality. We talk, and I’ve created what you look like in my mind. I don’t want anything to change that. –FINDERKEEPER
Interesting. Well, I chose you because you were anonymous, felt safe. But as we’ve been talking I have to admit my curiosity is getting the best of me. So what do you think I look like? –Sapphire Storm
Honestly I think you’re probably attractive, based on the amount of dates you get, but you don’t think you’re all that. You come across as pretty down to earth, got kinda a ‘one of the guys’ vibe thing going on. –FINDERKEEPER
That is a fascinating analysis. So, how long do you plan to not date again? My stories probably scare you. –Sapphire Storm
Not really. I was already resigned to not dating. Expiration date on this defeatism attitude? Unknown. Besides, dating is overrated. –FINDERKEEPER
You can say that again. –Sapphire Storm
Dating is overrated. –FINDERKEEPER
LOL. Cornball. –Sapphire Storm
I hate corn. I’m really insulted by being called a ball made of something that I absolutely hate. :P –FINDERKEEPER
LOL You hate corn? Who hates corn?! LOL –Sapphire Storm
Me. The texture is weird and it gets stuck in your teeth. –FINDERKEEPER
It does, but it’s good. Do you like popcorn even? –Sapphire Storm
It’s ok. Not good for your bowels. The shit doesn’t break down. Ever look in the toilet after eating some? –FINDERKEEPER
Gross! LOL –Sapphire Storm
Gross but true. –FINDERKEEPER
Do you sweet-talk all the ladies like this? You’re a man after my own heart. –Sapphire Storm
Yeah, all the ladies get these poetic words. Now you see why I have to beat the beauties off with a bat. –FINDERKEEPER
Well, FINDERKEEPER, you seem like a pretty great guy to me if we erase this last conversation regarding corn from our minds. LOL! In all seriousness though, don’t give up on dating on account of me. If you believe you are a good person, then someone else will think it too. When you are ready to date, I bet you’ll make some lucky woman a great boyfriend. –Sapphire Storm
Only if she’s good looking and rich. I’ve decided to become a well-paid escort, a modern day man of leisure. Don’t knock my side hustle. –FINDERKEEPER
LOL! You are awesome. –Sapphire Storm
I’m for sale to the highest bidder, but she’s gotta be a fox. –FINDERKEEPER
Oh God. LOL. Are you a gigolo? I can tell you in advance that I can’t afford you. Maybe you’ll allow me to make payments. –Sapphire Storm
I wish and you’d never be able to pay off your debt. No one is going to pay my asking price for all of this lusciousness. I refuse to sel
l myself short. Speaking of which, I only stand two feet tall and have an annoying habit of licking my lips like a toad. –FINDERKEEPER
Niiiice! Your sexiness truly is off the radar. No wonder I can’t quit you. –Sapphire Storm
I’m a self-appointed comedian, remember? I’m a charming motherfucker by nature. This is why my looks aren’t important. I can woo the broads with the stroke of my hands. Well, that sounded different than what I meant it to, but you know what I mean. –FINDERKEEPER
LOL. You make me think you’re some grotesque sloth. –Sapphire Storm
Show some respect. I prefer to be called Jabba the Hutt, thank you very much. –FINDERKEEPER
LOL! But you want a Princess Lea? –Sapphire Storm
No, I don’t want her. –FINDERKEEPER
Imposter! You’re no real Jedi! –Sapphire Storm
Sure I am. It’s just that her hair looks like two overgrown cinnamon rolls. I’d be hungry all the time looking at her, not horny. Indigestion is a mood killer. –FINDERKEEPER
LOL. You are too much. Thanks for the laughs tonight. –Sapphire Storm
Thank you for the conversation…will you be here tomorrow? –FINDERKEEPER
I believe so… –Sapphire Storm
Good. Goodnight Princess Lea, May the force and the iced frosting be with you… –FINDERKEEPER
Goodnight, Jabba, may you please practice hygiene in your near future and remove this chain from my neck. –Sapphire Storm
You mean the green slime oozing out of my mouth doesn’t do it for ya? Awww Jesus, you like Star Wars, for real! Do you accept marriage proposals online, Sapphire? –FINDERKEEPER
I do, but I insist you eat corn first to prove your undying love to me. –Sapphire Storm
You must be yanking my chain. Wait, you’re the princess, not me. –FINDERKEEPER
LOL! Bye. –Sapphire Storm
Bye, Sapphire Storm. Pleasant dreams in a galaxy far, far away…
The Fight Within Page 8
