by Sloan Archer
“Shew. I’d hate to have to stake you at my son’s birthday party.” I winked to show that I was kidding.
Joseph said, “It’s . . . Okay, I want to show you something, but I don’t want you to freak out or make a commotion.”
“Okay,” I told him. “But it better not be one of those tarantulas.”
“Err, no, it’s definitely not a tarantula.” Joseph looked over towards Liz again, her back now turned to us. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small red velvet box.
“Oh my God!” I squealed.
“Shh! You promised you weren’t going to make a commotion.”
“Sorry! Sorry,” I whispered. “Okay, let’s see! Lemme see!”
Joseph opened the box and showed me the ring. The sparkling center diamond was emerald cut, nestled in an antique platinum setting. On either side of the center diamond sat two triangle-shaped rubies—trillion cut was the correct term, I thought. “I’m popping the question tonight at midnight, right at the turn of New Year.”
“It’s so beautiful, Joseph. Well done.”
“Will she’ll like it?” he asked, nervous.
“Um, I can’t think of any woman who wouldn’t love that. It’s gorgeous.” I squeezed his hand excitedly. “I would throw my arms around you and hug you if I could, but I won’t. I’ll keep it on the down low.”
“So, you approve, then?”
“Yes, I approve! You make Liz so happy, Joseph. I was kind of hoping for this, to tell you the truth.”
“Now it’s my turn to—” he wiped invisible sweat from his brow “—shew. Do you think she’ll say yes?”
“Joseph, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.” I shook my head. “No, that’s not right. You should worry . . . about how many guests Liz is going to want to invite to the wedding. You’re going to need a bigger castle.”
Chuckling, Joseph shoved the box back into his pocket. “Wish me luck. I’m going to join Liz before she gets suspicious.”
“Good luck,” I said. “And thank you, again, for the party.”
I went to join Robert, who was by the group dancing with Andrew.
I’d been apprehensive about how some of the vampires would behave toward Andrew—that maybe they’d try to kidnap him or take a pull off his special blood—but I soon realized that my worries had been unfounded. They all treated him with great reverence, holding him tenderly and gently kissing his head. They closed their eyes and inhaled his sweet baby scent. Some vampires took photos and rocked him; others sang to him. A mile-long line of vamps waited to get their turn with my son, and each time he was passed to a new caretaker the crowd cooed: Awwwwwwww!
“I’ve never felt so much joy,” Robert said in my ear as I approached.
I put my arm around his waist and gave him a hug. “Me either. I love you so much.”
“And I love you, too,” he said, wiggling his fingers at Andrew, who was now being fawned over by Luther and Marlena. I was surprised by how maternal Marlena was. She was a natural with the baby, though she tried to play it cool. My little guy was eating up all the attention.
I beheld my two boys, my husband and son, feeling so much delight flowing through my veins that it almost hurt. It was one of those perfect moments in life, a snapshot in time so utterly harmonious that it felt surreal. And then I grasped what that feeling was: absolute happiness. There was nothing more that I could ever want. Ever.
A beautiful blond vampire approached Robert and me with a shy smile. She held out a pair of wooden clogs and presented them to us. “I am Dutch,” she said, as if this explained everything. “I brought a pair of traditional shoes for your boy.”
I held the shoes in my hand and felt a grin spread across my mouth. They were so adorable, teeny-tiny. “These are so amazing. Thank you so much for your kindness . . . ?”
“Greta,” she said.
Robert and I kissed her on the cheek and thanked her again. It amazed me, the thoughtful gifts the vampires had given us.
I was also staggered by the bluntness of their questions about my pregnancy. They wanted to know how often Robert and I had “mated,” and if we had used particular positions or fertility statues. I couldn’t begrudge the vampires for their curiosity. They so desperately wanted children of their own. And based on the way they doted on Andrew, I sincerely hoped their wishes came true.
“Awwwwwwww!” went the crowd again, this time because Andrew had started to cry.
I took Andrew from Luther, who was patting Andrew’s back and whispering, “There, there, little one. Hush, now.” It was so very touching in a weird way, seeing all these savage beings swooning over a tiny baby.
“I’m going to put him down for a bit,” I told the moping crowd. “I think he’s jetlagged. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure he rings in New Year’s with us.”
“Do you want me to join you?” asked Robert.
“No, hon, I’ve got this,” I said, kissing him on the forehead. “We should have at least one of us in attendance.”
I went into the baby’s room the VGO had fashioned for us, once again astounded by their thoughtfulness. The room was fully stocked with everything a parent could need: diapers, blankets, toys, and ointments galore. The crib must have come from the same maker who’d whittled the one we had at home. This one, though, was carved with forest animals at each of the four posts: a squirrel, a bird, a deer, and a raccoon. (Ours was done in African animals: a lion, elephant, hippopotamus, and giraffe.) The wood on this one was different, too. I wondered if the lumber used coincided with the area the theme animals resided. This one was redwood, which made sense with the forest motif. Maybe ours was made from an African tree, like . . . I couldn’t think of any, not knowing too much about African trees.
I changed Andrew and then rocked him until he dozed off. It didn’t take long, less than five minutes. The poor little guy must have been tired. I was pretty worn-out myself and was half tempted to get some shuteye. I might have, had I not known that my absence would be noticed.
I was about halfway down the hallway when I realized that I’d left my earrings in the baby’s room. Andrew had a habit of yanking on them, and I’d learned really fast as a new mother that dangle earrings were a huge no-no if I wanted to keep my earlobes intact. But since it was a special occasion, I’d worn the rose gold hoops Robert had gotten me for my birthday that year.
I was perplexed when I found that the door to the baby’s room was ajar. I was almost positive that I’d shut it, because I hadn’t wanted the music to wake up Andrew.
“Oh . . . hello,” I said, surprised to find that a blond woman was leaning into the crib. For a moment I thought it was Greta, but it clearly wasn’t, not unless she’d changed her clothes and straightened her hair since I’d last seen her.
Geez, these vampires could be pushy when it came to spending time with the baby. Still, I couldn’t be rude, even if that’s precisely what this vamp was being. Sneaking into my baby’s room: not okay.
The vamp kept her back to me, so I prompted, “Andrew needs to sleep. He’s jet—”
The vamp turned around.
The simultaneous mixture of terror and fury that hit me was so strong that it knocked the wind out of me. “Oh . . . my . . . God,” I wheezed.
“That’s right, bitch! I bet you never dreamed you’d see me again.”
It was Serena.
Struggling in her arms was Andrew.
20
Slowly, I raised my hands in a gesture of surrender, as if Serena was holding a loaded gun. She might as well have been, because it would kill me if anything happened to Andrew.
My mouth was so dry that I could hardly speak. “Serena, whatever it is that you’re thinking of doing . . . please don’t.” My voice was coming out in jags. It felt like somebody else was speaking on my behalf, my horror so great that it rivaled an outer body experience. “Please, please don’t. I’m begging you. Please.”
“Aw, you’re begging me? Isn’t that just sweet,” she sneered.
“You’re going to be begging me for your own life in a minute, after I drain this whiney shit.”
“No!” I screamed. “Don’t!”
Serena seized my son’s chubby little leg, pinched hard, and twisted. Fresh tears sprang from Andrew’s eyes as the area she’d assaulted turned into a reddish-purple welt. He reached out to me with his tiny pink hands, taking in sad gulps of air, shrieking.
If it was the last thing I did, I was going to kill that bitch.
Serena cackled and then clicked her tongue. “Oh, Mercy, I don’t think your son likes me very much.”
“Listen, Serena, I know that you’re pissed. But whatever issues you and I have with each other, it has absolutely nothing to do with that boy.” I was stunned by how calm I’d managed to make myself sound, since my insides were a jumble of writhing, poisonous snakes.
“It has everything to do with him,” she hissed. She was fully baring her fangs now, and I knew that if I didn’t act fast she was going to kill both my son and me. “You and your man took something important away from me, so I’m going to take something important away from you. Do you know how many years of bullshit I had to endure from the VGO before they started to trust me? Do you? Centuries! I could have taken over! But you had to go and destroy all my hard work, didn’t you?”
“How about you put the baby down and we talk?” I swept my hair back from my neck and took a step towards her, improvising. “Better yet, how about you put him in the hall and then you can shut the door and drink from me all you want?”
Serena laughed manically. I could see now that she had truly lost her mind in the worst way. She had to be crazy, showing up at the VGO headquarters like that, and then threatening to kill a baby. Her insanity showed in her eyes, making them sparkle. This was a vampire with nothing left to lose, which meant that she would not go down without a fight.
Her eyes narrowed contemptuously as somebody entered the room behind me. I knew who it was by the voice. Liz said, “Hey, girl, you coming back to the . . .” And then: “What the fuck?”
Without turning around to face our gatecrasher, I said, “Careful, Liz. She has Andrew.”
Then a second voice spoke out: “Put the baby down, Serena!” It was Joseph. “I am twice your age and twice as strong as you, so if you want any hope of getting out of here alive, you’d better heed my warning.”
The VGO would never let Serena live, not after she’d conspired to assassinate them and then crashed their party to kill the guest of honor. I knew it, Joseph knew it, Liz knew it, and even Serena knew it. She was insane, but she certainly wasn’t a moron.
Serena lifted her head back, her fangs gleaming in the light from the chandelier above. She lowered her mouth to Andrew’s throat, the tips of her fangs barely grazing his velvety skin.
And then all hell broke loose, with lots and lots of shouting.
Serena: “Sit still, you little shit!” Andrew squirmed in her arms with all his might, fighting to get away. His tiny fist thrashed out and hit her square on the nose. That’s my boy!
Me: “Grab him! Somebody grab him!”
Joseph: “Stop right now, Serena! I said stop!”
Liz: “I’ll kill you, bitch!”
After we each had our turn at shrieking, the situation escalated.
Serena hurled the baby into the crib as Joseph launched his attack. Andrew’s body slammed against the wood with a sickening thud. Liz attacked next. At the blink of an eye, the three vampires were tumbling around the room, knocking pieces of stone loose as they smashed into the castle’s walls. One of their appendages—Liz’s arm, maybe—whacked up against my leg. It was like being hit with a baseball bat.
“Watch out for the baby!” I cried. Nobody seemed to have heard me.
Serena was relentless. Joseph may have been older and more powerful than the crazy blond vamp, but she was faster. She kept breaking through Joseph and Liz’s arms, tenacious as hell. She was coming after me. Let her, I thought. I was more concerned with getting Andrew out of the crib before one of the vamps landed on top him and crushed his miniature body.
A cold hand curled around my ankle as I bent down into the crib. It was Serena. She yanked at my leg while Joseph or Liz (I couldn’t tell one vampire from the other anymore because they were moving too fast for the human eye to register) tried to fight her off. I kicked out at her with all that I had. If Serena pulled much harder, she’d have my feet out from under me.
Finally, Serena let go, and I nearly fell on top of Andrew. Nearly, but I didn’t, and he was okay. Thank goodness, he was okay.
I had my arms wrapped around my son, who’d gone silent, and was starting to lift him when I was walloped on the back of my skull. Dizzy, I feel forward and dropped Andrew back into the crib. He started to cry, which filled me with more relief than I’d ever felt, because that meant he was breathing. I gripped the crib’s frame for dear life, desperately trying to blink my way out of the encroaching blackness.
Behind me, I could hear the other vampires who’d come running to see what all the commotion was about. One of them was Robert, and he was shouting from the doorway, “I can’t get to you, Mercy! Get Andrew!”
I tried to shout back—I’m trying—but I couldn’t get my mouth to move. A thundercloud had settled over my brain, muddling my thoughts. I could sense warmness around the spot where I’d been hit, so I suspected I was bleeding. Bitch Face certainly hadn’t been pulling her punches.
With all my remaining energy, I reeled down into the crib. My fingertips were touching Andrew, but I couldn’t make my hands close around his body. He kept . . . slipping through my fingers. It was like one of those nightmares where everything happens in slow motion and you’re trying to move fast but it’s like you’re moving through invisible cement . . . And, oh man, did my skull throb so much!
And then came the awful cracking at my side—the sound of wood splintering—followed by more screaming.
“No-no-no-no!”
It was Robert, Liz, Joseph, and what sounded like the rest the party guests.
I was perplexed because they sounded more alarmed than angry.
I joined in on the screaming as blood splashed across Andrew’s face. But my scream fell dead in my lungs and my breath hissed out through my lips like a teakettle. Confused, I groped out at the stake protruding from the center of my chest, a brown toothy mouth grinning up at me. It was . . . a raccoon? Dazed, I looked to the corner of the crib to see that one of the posts was missing. No, not missing—relocated to the center of my cleavage.
I didn’t feel the pain until I staggered back against Serena, jostling the post. The agony!
Serena was on her knees, with Liz and Joseph holding her arms out at her sides. When Robert saw what she’d done to me, he charged forward and ripped her head from her body. Just like that. She screamed for a full five seconds after she had been decapitated. It would take a better woman than I to feel pity for her. I had wanted to kill Serena myself, but I figured my husband was a close enough substitute, in light of how she’d treated our child.
The rest of the vampires wasted no time ripping Serena limb from limb, until she was a pool of red gooey nothingness staining the area rug.
Robert ran to my side, which was perfect timing. At that precise moment, my knees gave and I collapsed into his arms. “No!” He screamed. “No!”
Through the mayhem happening all around us, I could hear Liz wailing next to him. “No! Please, no! Mercy-Mercy-Mercy!”
From the crib, Andrew began chanting: Mama-mama-mama-mama. It made me cry, breathless sobs that hurt every inch of my body; Andrew had just said his first word. At least I’d lived long enough to see that.
“Hold on, Mercy! Please!” Robert screamed. “Don’t you leave me!” And then he told Liz, “We’re going to have to change her over now.”
More shouting:
“Get Luther!”
“We’re out of time!”
“We’re not! Hurry!”
I reached up and touched
Robert’s wet cheek. “I’m so sorry,” I tried to say, but my collapsed lungs wouldn’t allow it. Tears trickled from his eyes and hit my face, tickling my skin.
“Hold on!” Robert demanded. “Don’t you give up on me!”
I’m so sorry . . . I’m so sorry . . . I’m so . . . There were so many voices all around me. So, so many.
Jerome: “We can’t find him!”
Liz: “Where is he?”
Joseph: “Somebody find Luther now, goddammit!”
The light above began to flicker, glowing and then darkening, and then glowing twice as bright. My bones felt cold but my skin was on fire.
I was dying.
My husband whispering: Please baby don’t baby don’t please don’t just you hold on hold on . . .
Chaos and screaming . . .
If we can’t find Luther, we’re all going to have to do it! Maybe with all our blood combined—
What if it doesn’t work?
It has to! We have to try something! It’s better than doing nothing!
We’ll have to pull it out before we do it!
Wait, I thought, alarmed. Pull what out? Oh, no, they weren’t thinking of—
“Mercy, honey, I know this is going to hurt,” Liz said. “But we have to take out that stump.”
Joseph ordered, “Lay her down. Careful!”
The post was sticking out of my back as well as my front, so it was impossible for me to lie flat. I had to arch my back, which hurt more than any pain I could remember suffering—even giving birth. I fumbled for the post, a feeble attempt to stop them from hurting me. I was no match for the vampires.
“We’re all going to have to start biting the instant it’s out, understand?” yelled Liz.
They didn’t mean . . . Bite me?
Robert added, “And then we’ll take turns getting her to drink from us!”
This did not sound good at all.
Suddenly, there were hands all over me, pushing. It hurt so much when they moved me, as it knocked the post against my organs. The vamps pinned my arms at my sides and held me down. I wanted to scream for them to stop, but I couldn’t find the energy. I wanted to sleep. I wanted them to go away and let me die in peace.
