His body screamed to hurry and plunge deep inside this woman clinging to him as if she’d die if he didn’t. His brain sang a different chorus.
“Been there, done that, jerk. Look where it got you the last time.”
“This time’s different.”
“Right. That’s what they all say.”
“Ace?” Brenna’s soft voice interrupted the mind battle, and he realized he’d stiffened in her arms.
“No talk,” he muttered and claimed her mouth, toppling her to the floor. The floor better suited his mood.
His lips feathered her belly, tasting the slightly salty skin. In the yellow glow of the kerosene lantern, he focused on the myriad of thin, spidery scars above her bikini panties. From carrying their child. Joy and pride rushed to his head and quickly vanished, as cold anger pumped through his bloodstream. She’d tossed their daughter to the wolves. Given the infant away without even a glance. Ace rolled away.
“What’s wrong?” Brenna’s hoarse voice revealed her hot arousal. “Ace?”
The small hand touching his shoulder burned. He shook it off and got to his feet. “I can’t do this. There’s too much bad history between us.”
Brenna got to her knees. “That’s not true. We can work around the past. As long as we’re together, anything is possible. Don’t make me responsible for what my father did.”
Was she crazy? The Brenna he’d known would never act like giving away their child was of no consequence.
“Ace?” He focused on her face. Confusion dimmed the warmth in her eyes. God she was beautiful. He still wanted her. Wanted to grab the hand she stretched toward him and pick up where they left off.
His words came out more brutal than he’d intended. “No. It’s impossible.”
“I don’t understand. Why are you so hostile? It’s almost as if you hate me.”
“Hostile? Believe me, you don’t know the meaning of the word.”
She maneuvered away from him, leaned against the bed and hugged her knees, head slightly bent. “Get out. I want to be alone.”
His fingers itched to stroke the graceful shape of her bowed neck and tangle themselves in the black silk of her hair. For long moments he simply stared, then without a word, he left her.
Outside, Ace pressed his forehead against a tree trunk and gulped the cold night air. The frigid temperatures soon brought him to his senses. He’d been unfair, both to himself and to Brenna. She must know why he was so bitter. He had a hard time understanding why she didn’t know already, but if she needed to hear the words, he’d give them to her. Pushing away from the tree, he walked back inside.
He entered the cabin and moved to where she still sat on the floor. “How could you give away my child?”
Brenna’s head snapped up, her mouth dropping open. She gawked at him in complete confusion. “What did you say?”
He strode to her, reached down and dragged her upright. “You heard me.”
She twisted out of his grasp and swung her fist. Damn. This was the second time she’d hit him. Ace rubbed his cheek.
“Is this some type of a cruel joke?” Her eyes blazed with anger. “You think I gave our child away?”
“I know you did.”
Ace barely heard her words, she spoke so low. “We had a daughter, Ace. A stillborn daughter. I would never have given my baby, our baby, away to strangers. How could you think such a thing?”
His heart sank. “Don’t lie to me, Brenna. I know the truth.”
“Truth? You want the truth?” Her voice rose with every word. “The truth lies in the cemetery where you saw me this morning. The baby died, Ace. What can I do to convince you? All these years, I’ve grieved alone. I envy those women in foreign countries who wail and weep in public when their loved ones die. I even understand why your ancestors cut off their hair to grieve their dead. I had no opportunity to do any of those things. Our daughter didn’t even have a funeral. When I recovered enough to get out of bed, she’d already been buried.”
Tears streamed down her cheeks. Stunned, he stood immobile while her shoulders shook. No one could put on such an act. Ace accepted the truth. Brenna believed their child had died.
What had that bastard Daniel McKenzie done? He moved closer to draw her into his arms. She slapped at his hands. “Don’t touch me.”
“Brenna, listen to me. I didn’t know.”
She fisted her hands but kept them at her side. “You didn’t know because you didn’t bother sticking around to find out.”
“That’s not true. I—”
“You what?”
Words froze on his tongue. He couldn’t tell her that Kayden was alive. Not until he investigated further. What if their baby really had died and Daniel had given him someone else’s child? He’d put nothing past that son-of-a-bitch. Before he told Brenna, he had to make sure Kayden was their biological daughter.
If Daniel McKenzie wasn’t dead, Ace would end the miserable man’s life right now, tonight.
Brenna continued to let him have it with both barrels. “Let’s go to the cemetery. You can see for yourself and know I’m not lying.”
Ace worried about her state of mind. Her face was wet, her nose was running. Her eyes puffy from all the tears she’d shed. “Brenna, stop it. I’m sorry.”
He scooped her into his arms and walked to the bed. She fought him every step of the way. To stop her thrashing, he laid on top of her. “It’s all right. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” He murmured the same words over and over until her body gave up its fight and went limp.
Even then he was reluctant to trust she’d not lash out at him. He rolled away, and she huddled in the bed.
“Don’t, Brenna,” Ace choked out. His own tears threatened to spill. “Stop it. You’ll make yourself sick.” He wiped the wet streaks from her cheeks and pulled her close. Squeezed her tight.
She tilted her head back and looked into his eyes. “How could…how could you ever think I’d give our child away? I loved you. You were my life. Didn’t you know that?”
Guilt twisted his guts. His heart wept with her. Tell her, you fool. Don’t let her go on believing her child is dead.
He couldn’t vocalize his thoughts. “I’m sorry. Forgive me.”
She burrowed into him, her lips skimming his neck. “I love you, Ace. I’ve never stopped loving you. I’ll always love you.”
Even after you learn that I’ve had our daughter all this time and never told you? A sudden need to possess her took him by storm. His mouth assaulted hers. Their open-mouth kisses didn’t satisfy his hunger. Desire exploded and blasted away every shred of common sense.
Chapter Eight
“Touch me, Brenna,” Ace rasped, and groaned when her hands closed over his erection. He cupped her bottom and tugged her closer.
She trailed her mouth down his chest while her hands worked to unfasten his shirt. “Skin against skin. I need to feel you…touch you.”
Buttons flew and hit the floor. She yanked and he shrugged, until the shirt slipped away. The warm, moist heat of their bodies drove him crazy. Her breasts rubbed against his chest.
“How did I manage to live all these years without you?” she whispered. “I couldn’t bear to lose you again.”
“You never lost me. Chi-sach-heetan.” He murmured the Cree phrase for ‘I love you’.
She fingered her necklace. He couldn’t have looked away from her eyes. “You’re my twin soul,” she breathed. “We made our vows when we put on these necklaces.”
Her blue-eyed gaze searched his soul, her unasked question clear. She wanted to know what had happened to his necklace—the other half of the heart.
He rested his forehead on hers while his thumbs caressed her upper arms. “It’s in a safe place.” Truth was he’d given it to Kayden after telling her the story behind the necklaces.
Jesus. What kind of man am I? I need to tell her about Kayden before I lose her.
Fear wracked his body. He couldn’t remember being this afraid. He’d soo
ner face death than see the look of hurt, or worse, hatred, in this woman’s eyes when she discovered the truth. But could he live with himself if he didn’t tell her? “Brenna, stop for a minute. There’s something you need to know.”
Her hand covered his lips, index finger slipping inside his mouth and across his tongue. “No confessions. Not tonight. Twelve years is a long time. Let all we’ve done during that time stay where it belongs—buried in the past.”
“You don’t understand—”
She took his mouth in a kiss so hungry, his body jerked. The heat between them had always sizzled. Tonight it damn near scorched him. Truth and lies fled his mind. This moment was all that mattered. Tomorrow would take care of itself.
Brenna beat him to her panties, one foot pushing them to her ankles. She kicked them to the floor. Off came her bra. He pushed her hands away from his jeans. They joined Brenna’s panties in three seconds flat.
“Are you protected?” he rasped. “On the pill?”
“No. I’d love to have your child.”
Her confession sent his guilt into overdrive. Then her hands caressed his erection, blowing every thought from his head.
Ace’s whispered words of love, half in English, half in Cree, thrilled Brenna as much as his hands and mouth. She reveled in having the love of her life back in her arms. Life couldn’t be any sweeter. She and her love had a second chance. This time nothing would keep them apart.
She lay on her back, legs spread, knees bent. Ace kneeled between her thighs, his hardness pushing against her moist center.
She shuddered as his finger trailed between her breasts. He hooked it around the chain of her necklace. “You’ve worn this all these years?”
The anguish in his eyes mirrored her own. She bit her tongue so she wouldn’t ask what he’d done with his. Had he thrown it away? “Yes.”
“I love you, Brenna. Whatever happens tomorrow or the next day, promise you’ll remember that I love you.”
A frisson of fear pierced her joy and found the center of her heart. Something was wrong. What was Ace keeping from her? What could be so awful that he feared losing her love?
The old Brenna would have cajoled and even threatened until he spilled his guts. The woman she’d become didn’t want to know his terrible secret. Still, she didn’t make promises lightly and couldn’t give him the assurance he needed.
“Ace,” she gasped, forgetting promises and secrets. The sight of his dark hair between her legs, the feel of his mouth, his tongue pushing inside her core drove all doubts to some faraway place. “God, Ace…”
She squirmed, her hips wriggling for closer contact. A climax built. Just as she was ready to spiral to a gut-wrenching peak, his tongue left her center and trailed up over her belly. Dipped into her navel. He lapped her nipple and drew the turgid peak into his mouth.
“Please, Ace,” she begged, tugging his hair to bring his mouth to hers. “Enough teasing. It’s been too long.”
Callused hands steadied her hips as inch by inch he pushed into her wetness. In a fever, Brenna wrenched his hands away and raised her hips to take more of his length.
One thrust and he was fully embedded. Her vaginal muscles clenched around him. She forced herself to relax, wanting the frenzied mating to last.
“You feel so good, sweetheart,” he murmured. “Stay still. Let me enjoy being inside you.”
Brenna tried. And lasted less than a minute. She pushed down on her heels and jerked her hips up against his weight. Ace’s hands tightened, and he thrust. Withdrew and thrust again. The climax hit and Brenna spasmed. Ace tensed. Brenna wrapped her legs around his waist as he came and prayed that another child be conceived to replace the one they’d lost.
Ace opened his eyes. Memories of last night rippled through his mind, giving him a hard-on. He reached for Brenna’s warmth. Needed to touch her. Panic surged when his fingers found nothing but emptiness.
He jackknifed upright. She was gone. The flame of the kerosene lantern flickered, ready to go out. They’d never extinguished it last night. Had she gone to the outhouse?
He bolted from the bed and grabbed his pants off the floor. On his way to the door, a white piece of paper on the table caught his eye. He retrieved it, angry that his fingers shook.
Good morning,
Sorry I couldn’t stay. Have to take the Desperado out to check and bait the traps. Be back later this afternoon and we’ll go see Colin together.
She’d been gone less than fifteen minutes, according to the time jotted on top of the paper. He struggled into his jeans, shoved his feet into his boots and grabbed a clean shirt from his duffle bag. He ran out into the darkness, carrying his parka.
Stars still twinkled in a black sky. Faint fingers of light stretched high on the far eastern horizon, yet dawn wouldn’t make its presence known for at least another hour. Other than water lapping against the dock posts and an occasional squeak of boats rubbing against the pieces of Styrofoam protecting them from the pier, the only noise was the fog horn that sounded every forty-five seconds out on Chance Island. Another hour and the gulls would be squawking and other lobstermen and fishermen would be clambering over the docks.
Brenna breathed deeply, closed her eyes and savored the fresh air, the scent so strong she could almost taste it. Soon she’d be underway and feel the salt spray on her face.
Footsteps running down the pier stopped her from casting off. Surprise mingled with happiness when Ace came into view.
Her smile faltered when Ace got to the boat. “You should have woken me.” He intense eyes were not quite angry, but serious.
“I thought I’d let you sleep. It’s the middle of the night.”
She loved being with him again, but had wanted this time alone. Time to think about what Ace might be keeping from her. Now that he was here, she couldn’t send him away. “Come aboard. We’ll spend the day together. I could use another set of hands.”
Suddenly, the dock swayed under his feet. Brenna chuckled at the resigned look on his face. She watched him brace his feet against the rolling sensation. “I won’t get sick today,” he muttered. “Even if it kills me.”
Brenna couldn’t stifle a giggle. So Ace still struggled with seasickness. Some things never changed. That knowledge somehow brought her comfort.
A faint light twinkled in his eyes. “Think it’s funny, do you?”
“I’ve got some Dramamine.”
Ace jumped onto the boat and swayed, grabbing the edge until he found his equilibrium. “Give it to me quick. It takes a while to work.”
Brenna reached in her pocket and handed him the package and watched him swallow the pill dry. Hopefully, he wouldn’t spend the trip with his head hung over the side. She remembered many a trip in the past where he’d done just that.
An hour later, they’d left Spruce Harbor behind. The sun now peeked over the horizon and shined through the frozen salty mist giving a surreal look to the morning. The red sky forewarned of bad weather coming.
Brenna reached for the Thermos and poured herself a cup of coffee. She loved this time of day. A new day, a new beginning. Her gaze wandered to Ace, who stood at the helm, keeping the lobster boat on course. The scene belonged on canvas. He looked right at home. Their lives had come full circle. Would they be able to make it this time around? Or would the past prevent them from sharing a future?
A niggling voice warned her that the odds were stacked against a happy ending. Too much bad history. Ace’s words echoed in her head.
A gambler by nature, Brenna wouldn’t give up without a fight. Twelve years ago, she’d let Ace walk out of her life. She should have tracked him down. She’d not make that mistake again.
Somehow she’d convince him she’d never have willingly allowed him to stay in jail. Neither would she have given his child away. Surely, he knew the infant’s death had devastated her. How could he think otherwise?
Last night had been beautiful. He wouldn’t have made love to her the way he had if he still had do
ubts. Yet she knew he had a secret. If he didn’t still have doubts about her honesty, then what was he hiding?
Chi-sach-heetan, he’d whispered. I love you. Remembering the words melted her heart.
“A penny for them.”
Brenna smiled. “I was thinking about you. Surely, that makes them worth at least a nickel.”
“I could use a cup of coffee.”
“Sure? How’s your stomach?”
“Feeling just fine. Dramamine did the trick.”
Brenna fished out a Styrofoam cup out of her pack and poured him a cup. “Thanks,” he murmured, as she handed him the black coffee. “Just the way I like it. Surprised you remember.”
“You’d be surprised at the things I remember,” she said in a moment of boldness.
Those dark eyes looked at her from over the cup as he took another drink. “Probably not. My memory’s been kicking me in the ass since I arrived in Spruce Harbor.”
“What have you been doing for the past twelve years?”
The warmth in his eyes disappeared. Brenna sighed at the closed expression that descended over his face. His mouth tightened, his gaze shifted away.
“I’m not asking for a list of your love conquests,” she persisted. “I just want to know about your life in general. Did you go to college? Do you have a job? Where do you call home?”
Ace met her gaze head on. “When I got out of jail, my mother and I left for Quebec. To stay with relatives. I spent a few years traveling with the Cree. North to James Bay in the winter. Returned south to paddle the lakes in the summer, moving from camp to camp.”
There was no humor in his laugh. “Here we’re called Native Americans. In Canada we’re First Nation. It all means the same. We’re Indians. I will say that Canada lets us move around at will. Tribes aren’t confined to reservations, unless that’s what they want. We can hunt, trap and fish as we see fit.”
After a long pause he asked, “Any more coffee?”
Bed of Lies Page 7
