She watched as the formalities ended and the dancing resumed. When Pierce rejoined her, she was shaking, her skin chilled and her head throbbing. It was so unfair. She had searched for years and with every means at her disposal to locate her parents. But to no avail. Yet Pierce, who already had a mom and dad who loved him, now found himself related to a family as fascinating and multilayered as the Kennedys.
He looped an arm around her shoulders. “You want to dance some more, or do we duck out of here?”
“Are you serious?” Her voice, uncomfortably high-pitched, skated up an octave or two.
“What’s the problem, Nikki?” He sounded bored, as if he couldn’t imagine why she was so upset.
She poked a finger in his chest. “That was your brother, damn it. Are you just going to let him walk away?”
Fourteen
Pierce was encased in a bubble of ice. Nothing could touch him. The surreal moment when he came face-to-face with a man eerily like himself was something he couldn’t talk about. Somewhere beneath the chill was pain. A pain he couldn’t handle right now. Maybe never.
Nikki’s face was pale, her big eyes accusing him of God knew what. Why couldn’t she simply enjoy the evening? He planned to.
She was dynamite in that sexy dress. It clung to every hill and valley of her body in a way that made him wish they were already alone. With her pale-blond hair and her regal posture, she put most of the women in the room to shame.
He removed her accusatory finger by kissing her hand. “Let’s dance,” he said, nuzzling her neck. Her light perfume and slender body rekindled his need to have her. How could he sate himself so recently and yet already want more?
Nikki trembled in his embrace, but this time it was not passion that made her shake. She took his hand and pulled him out of the room into an adjoining hallway. Allowing himself to be propelled by her urgency, he sighed when she found an empty room and dragged him inside.
He shut the door and leaned back against it, his arms crossed over his chest. “You surprise me, my lady lawyer. I didn’t peg you as the type for indulging in a quickie at someone else’s house.”
“Don’t,” she said, her voice cracking. “Don’t act like nothing has happened. Devlyn Wolff is your brother. I looked up the family this afternoon. Your aunt gave us your parents’ names, so it wasn’t hard to find information. You have another brother, as well, Larkin, and a sister, Annalise.”
The words pierced his heart. Each one an inestimable pain. He didn’t want to know these things…didn’t want to think about what he had missed. Siblings. All his life he had longed for siblings.
He shrugged. “Everyone knows about the Wolffs. The paparazzi love them. But since I don’t read the gossip rags, I could care less. I’ve had enough, Nikki. You’re wasting your breath.”
“We could probably catch him,” she said, her gaze beseeching. “He only left moments ago, and the valet has to retrieve his vehicle. Let’s go stop him. I’ll explain. Tell him that we need to speak to his father.”
“No, Nikki.” He kept his expression impassive, his tone firm.
“But why?” Bewilderment filled her eyes.
“It’s unnecessary. I don’t plan to contact the Wolffs at all. So forget it. Just because you want to find out every last detail about your relatives doesn’t mean I do. The status quo suits me very well. I don’t need anything else.”
“You’re making a huge mistake,” she cried.
Her passionate conviction gave him pause. But he couldn’t afford to let doubt creep in. The consequences were too terrible to consider. What was he supposed to do? Go hat in hand, begging for a chance to graft himself onto the Wolff family tree? Hell, no.
“Maybe I am,” he said. “But it’s my mistake to make.” He paused. “Here’s the thing, Nikki.” He took her hands in his, noting the icy skin and the tremor that spoke to her level of distress. Looking deep into her eyes, he spoke softly but distinctly. “I care about you a great deal. Perhaps more than you’re willing to believe at this moment. I want to spend time with you. I want you in my bed…in my house. I want to show you my life and what I love and what I see for my future, perhaps our future. But…”
“But what?” She broke his gentle hold and backed away, her arms wrapped around her waist. The stance was self-protective. For the first time ever, he saw her as vulnerable. Nikki was always so strong, so confident, so full steam ahead. But now she seemed infinitely fragile, as though one wrong word from him could destroy her.
“If you want to be with me, you have to let this go.”
She went white. “An ultimatum?”
“If you choose to call it that. All I’m asking is that you respect a personal boundary of mine. I would do the same for you.”
“And that’s it? We’ll never speak of it again?”
He nodded. “That’s what I want. That’s the way it has to be.”
He saw the muscles in her slender white throat work as she swallowed. “I don’t know if I can…drop this incredible thing that we both know, I mean.”
“Sure you can. Just imagine that we never went to see my aunt. That I never came to your office asking for help. That you and I met on a blind date and hit it off. Something like that.”
Her eyes were dark and unreadable. “Those are a lot of lies to spin.”
“Not lies.” He winced, having founded his whole life on integrity. “More like pleasant fiction. We aren’t hurting anyone.”
“Be honest with yourself, Pierce. You know it’s not really true. To do what you’re asking is hurtful both to your parents who raised you and to the man who thinks his son is dead.”
“What they don’t know can’t hurt them.”
“That’s the kind of garbage rebellious teens tell themselves to justify lying to their parents and sneaking around doing things they shouldn’t.”
“So we’re at an impasse. Is that what you’re saying?” Nausea churned in his gut. He hadn’t expected her to fight him on this. But he had clearly underestimated how much her past history affected her outlook.
For a moment, he pondered her reality: having no roots at all, no point of origin other than a home for children whose families either didn’t exist or didn’t want them. An icy sliver of shame snaked down his spine. What must Nikki think of him?
But even the jolt of genuine empathy he experienced for her heartbreakingly barren childhood couldn’t sway him.
Nikki bowed her head, a swing of pale-blond hair obscuring her face momentarily. Despite this moment of emotional trauma, she was stunning. He wanted to go to her and take her in his arms and recreate the madness of the night before. But he sensed he had hurt her…had unwittingly struck at things so deeply ingrained in the fabric of who she was that her soul bled.
He could barely find his voice. “I asked you a question,” he muttered. “Is this the end for us?”
She lifted her head slowly, her hands now clenched together, white-knuckled. “I need some time to think. Please take me home.” The bleak acceptance in her gaze was another sin he had to bear.
“Of course. If that’s what you want.”
They made their way to the front of the house, not touching, not speaking. The car ride home was fraught with tension. At the curb in front of her building, he rested his hands on the steering wheel. “I’ll come up and make sure you get in safely.”
“No. I’d rather you didn’t.”
When she climbed out of the car, he followed suit, standing on the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets. He wanted her badly, but an agonizing chill iced his veins as he realized she was slipping away both physically and emotionally.
“A good-night kiss?” He tried to make the suggestion lighthearted.
Nikki pulled her pale, thin shawl closer despite the humid evening. “Please don’t. Don’t make this
harder.”
Anger won out, driven by desperation. “You’re the one doing that.”
She stumbled backward, a hand to her mouth. “I have to go.”
As he watched, incredulous, she fled from him, easing through the front door and slamming it behind her.
It was at least five minutes before he turned to his car. Five long minutes when he wondered if he had made the biggest mistake of his life. But if having Nikki meant destroying his family and appealing to a clan legendary for their insularity, then he really had no choice.
Turning the key in the ignition, he forced himself to drive away without looking back.
* * *
Nikki was cold, so cold. Despite a blistering-hot shower and the comfort of a pair of fleecy winter pajamas, she couldn’t stop shivering. The evening that had begun with such promise had ended in ashes.
Was Pierce right? Was it her fault they were not sharing a bed tonight? The evening of romantic music, intimate dancing, food, laughter and flirtation. All of it for naught, because she had seen Pierce’s blood brother and that door, once opened, couldn’t be closed. At least not in her mind.
She curled up on the sofa with an afghan, unable to stay more than a moment in her bedroom. The very air in there was so laden with memories of Pierce that she could not bear it. His wickedly sexy smile, his inventive love play, his fierce possession, his tender, arousing touch. The most wonderful moment of her life had gradually segued into another experience of loss.
And this time, at her own hand.
As the night waned, she stared blindly at the TV, the sound muted. Pierce had said he cared about her. He’d hinted at a future. But she was unable to get past this formidable stumbling block in the road. Pierce had discovered an incredible piece of news. He was a Wolff, a blood member of one of the country’s most wealthy and influential and fascinating clans.
Why couldn’t he acknowledge the import of what had happened?
She dozed occasionally, waking up time and again to the sick knowledge that nothing had changed. She was here…without him.
For a time, she felt so ill she wondered if she had caught something at the crowded party. Her limbs were weak and her stomach was unable to tolerate anything but ginger ale.
Toward morning, she fell into a light doze. The sun glaring in from a crack in the drapes finally woke her. She forced herself to get up, to move around the condo. Her lease was due for renewal in another three or four weeks. She had to decide whether to stay or go.
She liked her cozy home. It was a nest she had created from scratch, and she was proud of it. Though as a rule she was content with her quiet solitude, she did entertain from time to time, enjoying the company of friends she had made in Charlottesville, many of them young professionals like herself.
In the spare bedroom that passed for her home office, she picked up a folder containing the letter from her former law professor. She read it again, slowly, trying to decipher her own reactions. On the basis of this one piece of mail, she had decided to close her practice, even though deep in her heart she knew she didn’t have any real desire to dissect the law at a big firm in D.C.
Her professor spoke highly of her work ethic, of her academic success and of his admiration for the sound start she had made with her practice in Charlottesville. He said he wanted her to join his team. That with her talent and drive she would have a shot at partner some day.
He said he wanted her.
That was it…the magic words that spoke of belonging and family. A work family, but a tie nevertheless. On the basis of that, Nikki had been ready to chuck everything she had begun in Virginia to head north, hoping to grab the brass ring on the merry-go-round.
She sank into a chair at the kitchen table, burying her face in her arms. What a liar she was. She’d told Pierce that she had put her past behind her, but she hadn’t, not really. Otherwise, she could have been content with the way things were in her life, her good life. If she had truly made peace with the knowledge that her origins were a mystery, she wouldn’t have reacted so strongly to Pierce and the shocking revelations that had rocked his world.
Sitting up, she saw the open box on the far counter. Several days ago, she had begun wrapping and packing some of her prized possessions. No china from a grandmother or crystal from a beloved great-aunt, merely department-store items with which she had set up housekeeping when she finished law school.
She knew her things were only things. That was a lesson she had learned early on. No matter how many trinkets a person bought, inanimate objects would never replace the love and affection of a family, of belonging. The little pewter collie she had rescued from her desk served to remind her of that.
So why was she about to throw the dice and bet on a future in D.C. when she had a man who cared about her here in Charlottesville?
The day passed slowly. Without question or doubt, she recognized that her future hung in the balance. She was a hundred percent sure she knew what she had to do, but she waited a couple more hours before picking up the phone and dialing the 202 area code.
The conversation was brief but cordial on both sides. When she hung up, she was pretty sure she smelled the acrid aroma of burning bridges.
But deciding what not to do was the easy part. Now the path ahead was murkier than ever.
She made herself a grilled cheese for supper, the first solid food she had eaten all day. Then she showered and changed into a sundress. Though she hadn’t yet ventured outside, the TV weatherman claimed the city was about to break a record for summer heat.
Finally, she packed a small bag. The wise thing to do would be to call Pierce and see if he was home…to ask if he wanted to see her. But her emotions were too close to the surface. If she heard his voice, she might burst into tears. She wanted this reunion to be a happy one. And she had to get herself under control if that was to happen.
It was after seven when she gathered her purse and her bag and her keys. Locking the door behind her, she made her way downstairs. Her car was hot, so she lowered the windows and let the heavy summer air warm her skin. Gradually, as she drove out of town, a fragile sense of peace settled over her.
No decisions had been made. No momentous thresholds crossed. But for the moment it was enough that she wanted to be with Pierce.
As she drove through the trees lining his drive, she wondered if he would see her coming. Once she parked, she could hear the hounds baying behind the house. Evidently they served as visitor alarms.
Pierce emerged from the house as she got out of the car. He came down the steps immediately, whistling long and low. “Nice dress, lady lawyer. But not your usual style.”
She shrugged. “It’s hot.”
“So it is.”
Scintillating conversation. Taking a deep breath, she clenched her sweaty hands on the handle of her bag, keeping it between them for protection. Otherwise she might throw herself at him without a lick of modesty. “I have something important to tell you,” she said.
His face changed. “Not now, Nikki. I don’t want to argue tonight. I missed you like hell.” He took the suitcase from her and set it on the bottom step. “Come here and kiss me.”
Fifteen
Pierce was light-headed with relief. He hadn’t meant to throw down a gauntlet yesterday, but Nikki’s obsession with his Wolff connection was not something with which he could pretend to be okay. Leaving her last night had about killed him. So much so that for a moment or two today, he had actually contemplated getting in touch with Vincent Wolff.
Even the thought of it made him violently ill. Every cell in his body screamed out in repudiation when he imagined what such a contact would do to his beloved parents. Even for Nikki, he simply couldn’t do it.
Thank God she had come to him.
His arms settled around her waist as she laid her head on his c
hest. He felt her sigh.
“I missed you, too,” she said.
Whatever she wanted to say to him could wait until morning. He had plans for tonight.
She was wearing a thin cotton sundress with a skirt that fluffed out from a tiny waist. The pale mint-green fabric trimmed in white lace left her shoulders bare and made her look young and carefree. But the dark circles beneath her eyes, the smudges she had tried to disguise with makeup, told another story.
He lifted her chin with his thumb and lowered his mouth to hers. “Thank you for coming back to me.” He tasted her, feasted on her. Her kiss was open and generous, and he felt like a cad for hurting her. Long and slow, the kiss ran its course. They were standing outside, but there were no witnesses this time, no one to interrupt, save the dogs baying mournfully out back.
He cupped the back of her neck with his hand, feeling the delicate skin at the top of her spine. Her hair spilled like gold silk over his fingers. Lust roared hot and thick through his veins, fueled by the recognition of how near he had come to losing her.
Pulling her even closer, he pressed his hips to hers, frustrated by the layers of cloth between them. If they went inside the house, he’d be on her like a madman. In fact, he was perilously close to sitting on the step and letting her straddle his lap. But he owed her more than this. She’d had the courage to come back. So he would give her the wooing she deserved.
Clearing his throat, he released her, feeling the loss in every bone and muscle. “I have an idea,” he said, the words gravelly.
She smiled at him, a small smile, but a smile nevertheless. “Yes?”
“Do you like horses?”
The smile dimmed. “I have no real frame of reference. But I guess they’re okay.”
“It’s a beautiful night,” he cajoled. “Why don’t you let me take you for a ride? I’ll have my arms around you. You’ll be perfectly safe.”
A Wolff at Heart Page 13
