by Vera Quinn
“Yes. Drop me in the parking lot of the hospital so I can get my bike. I’ll leave my rifle here and get it back at the clubhouse.” I tell Rye.
“Are you sure about this?” Rye asks. I already have my rifle in its case and my gloves put in there with it.
“Positive. Let’s do this.” Rye pulls up beside my bike. I hear the sirens of the approaching cop cars. He pulls up beside my bike. “I’ll see you.” I get out and get on my bike. Rye is out of there and I am right behind him. One more down.
Chapter 21
Kat
I see the look on Kylar’s face when he walks in his house. He looks so much like my William. He’s helping Callie and Killian in the house. How did we get here? My mistake, my sin. William trying to clean up my mistakes. I can tell by the way he looks at me, he knows. This is a talk that has a been a long time coming. I might as well put on my big girl biker boots and face it. I have nowhere else to run and no more lying to do.
“Ma we need to talk now. Outside.” Bourbon rises from beside me but I lay my hand on his hip and get off the sofa. Kylar can barely look at me and the way he has his jaw clenched is just like his dad used to. He’s barely holding it together. I look at him and then to Bourbon.
“My boy needs some truth from me. It’s ok. I need to do this with him by myself.” Bourbon doesn’t know the whole story but since I have been with him I have told him part of it. Bourbon always listens and never judges. He’s a good man and I don’t deserve him.
“I’ll stay here but Devil listen to your ma. Listen real good, Devil, and hear before you judge and remember some of the shit you have pulled with Callie.” Bourbon looks at me. “I am right here if you need me. Never forget that.” Kylar turns and leaves the room without saying anything to Bourbon. I see Callie come in from the bedroom and she knows by Kylar’s body language that this is not just a ma and son talk. I follow Kylar through the kitchen and onto his back deck. I know after this talk I am going to lose my last child but there is nothing I can do about it now and I am not sure it isn’t exactly what I deserve. I close the door tightly so maybe not everyone will hear our conversation. I don’t know why I care but I do. I’m still the woman that cares what everyone thinks. I should have known no secret stays hidden forever.
“Is Stone my brother? Don’t try lying just tell me the truth for once in my life. Kane is at the clubhouse and he told me to ask you about how close Kane and I are. What the hell is he dancing around? Slick told me the same thing. So, spill it ma. It’s time. I am a grown ass man.” Kylar says quietly. I hear the pain in his voice.
“Keifer is your half- brother. The same way Kane is.” I just say it plain out. Kylar takes a chair and throws it up against the house. He turns and looks at me but I hear the back door open. Callie steps out. She looks at Kylar and at the chair.
“Go back inside Callie! This doesn’t concern you! This is between my ma and me.” Callie looks at me and then back to Kylar but she doesn’t move.
“No! Damn, Kylar she is part of the little family we have left. Don’t you get it? That is what started all this shit. The club was always first with William. William Steel the President of the Feral Steel MC. Big man! Everyone either falls in line or get on down the road. Don’t make the same mistakes that your dad and I made. They say the sins of the father land on the son but it should be the sins of the parents. Just let her stay and learn from our mistakes.” I feel the tears sliding down my face. Tears of years of pain. Regret. Trying to run from a past I could never outrun. Damn the men in my life. I’m standing here answering for the sins of four adults not just mine. I see Callie slide back in the remaining chair. She never says a word. Kylar is staring daggers through me. I take a deep breath and start the story I never wanted to think of again but I always knew I would. “Kathy Ann and I started hanging around the club when we were fresh out of high school. We were best friends and we came from very strict families so when we got a taste of the partying, we liked it. We lied and snuck out of our houses. Back in the day it was harder than the kids have now. Our parents were on us all the time. My dad finally caught me and he gave me the ultimatum if I left again to stay gone. I decided to leave but he wouldn’t let me. He beat me and when I didn’t show to meet Kathy she waited until late one night and climbed into my bedroom window. We both knew if we got caught that neither of us would be going anywhere. We made it away from the house and went straight to the clubhouse. It wasn’t much of a clubhouse then, more like a barn. When your dad and Chainz seen the bruises on me they said we could stay. Our dads and the sheriff came knocking on the doors the next morning but there wasn’t a damn thing they could do about it. We were both over eighteen. The sheriff was in the Feral Steel’s pocket anyway. He just did it for show. That’s how Kathy Ann and I became the first regular club girls that the club had.” I look at Kylar’s face and it is blank. I go on. “At the time the club wasn’t that big. Ten to twelve at the most and yes, I was fucked by every one of them. I’m not ashamed of it. Everyone does what they must do to get by in this life. All the brothers treated us alright. It was the first taste of freedom for either of us. Most nights I was with Chainz and Kathy was with William. There were other club girls and no one owned anyone. Free love and all that shit.” I don’t like what I am about to say to Kylar but I may as well get it out. “One night we had some mushroom tea and we were all high as a kite and we all ended up in the same room. I mean William. Chainz, Kathy and myself. It was the first night but not the last. One of those nights, or maybe different nights, Kathy and I both ended up pregnant. We didn’t know who the father was for either of us. Your Father and Chainz had a falling out before the babies were born. They both wanted to be President. William won and Chainz stayed around but nothing was ever the same. Your father made sure Kathy and I had everything we needed. Chainz not so much. He was still partying every night with a different woman. He said we were trying to trap him and your dad. Kyle and Keifer were born within days of each other. Kyle is the one you are after. You called him Stacks. Back in our time all this DNA stuff took forever and was expensive. We didn’t bother. William said he would take care of us and that was good enough for Kathy and me. He and the other brothers built this house for us but not Chainz. He had moved onto some harder drugs and he wasn’t the same. He became hard and mean. He was holding a grudge. His money went up his nose and him and William were butting heads more. Chainz wanted to sleep all day and party all night. Not that the club didn’t party but they had club business to take care of too. Chainz wanted his cut of money but never wanted to do the work. I never asked questions but you could cut the tension with a knife. Kathy and I didn’t have plans for our lives and we both tried to contact our families but they didn’t want anything to do with us. Just as well. I tended bar, cleaned and cooked at the clubhouse. I wasn’t an angel but I had Keifer to care for and most of the time Kyle too. Kathy partied nights while I was at home with the boys. Chainz took up with her again and so did William. Chainz moved out of the clubhouse and he took Kathy with him. They didn’t take Kyle. The boys were a little older by then so I would take them to work with me. Gertie was with Slick by then and between the two of us we cared for them at the clubhouse and still got everything done.” Kylar’s patience has given out.
“I don’t want the story of your life ma. I want the truth. Why the hell am I just now hearing about this? Just tell me, am I Steel’s son?” I see the pain in his eyes.
“Yes.” I give it to him straight.
“Was Kim his daughter?” He still looks apprehensive.
“Yes.” I see that calmed him a little.
“Is Stone his son?” Kylar knows the answer but he is dreading my answer.
“No, Keifer is Chainz son. Kyle was Chainz’s son too. Kane is your half -brother also.” I see Kylar wants to run but he needs to listen to me so maybe he will understand. “Look I know this can’t be easy to listen to but you have to hear me out.” I look at Callie and she hasn’t moved and I can’t tell anything
from her face. Kylar has gone quiet so I go on. “One night Kathy and Chainz came over to the house. Kyle and Keifer were sleeping. Kathy came running in my room and I could see bruises on her and choke marks on her throat. Chainz comes in after her. I am trying to help Kathy but Chainz is too strong for us luckily William and Slick had heard Chainz’s bike and come to the house. They pulled him out of there. I took care of Kathy and the next day William said the Feral Steel club was paying for DNA test for the boys. Chainz threatened to take the boys. It took a while but we found out both boys were Chainz. I mean what are the odds. William never treated them boys any different. Neither did Chainz. He still paid them no mind. William still loved them and he still took care of us. I don’t know what was happening in the club. I was not privy to the inner workings, ever. No woman was then. To tell you the truth, I didn’t want to know. William was taking care of club business. He made it clear to me and every woman, no one woman would owned him. The club always came first. William was drawn to me because I never caused any trouble. I did what was expected of me, kept my nose out of things that didn’t concern me, and took care of the boys. That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t get high or drunk and fuck some woman right in front of me. It’s just the way things were. Kathy was still partying every night. Then I came up pregnant with you. I knew you belonged to William. I used protection with everyone else. I didn’t do drugs anymore or drink very much so there were no mistakes. I told William and he never questioned it. He put a ring on my finger a month later but our living arrangements did not change and we didn’t tell anyone. William contacted a lawyer about us adopting Kyle and him adopting Keifer. Chainz and Kathy were neither fit to raise Kyle and they didn’t even try to include him in anything. Kathy had started screwing Chainz again and she was drinking and doing drugs with him. When William lined everything up with the lawyer he approached Chainz and Kathy. Chainz was enraged and said your dad was trying to take his boys the way he did the club. Kathy was agreeable for a price. They went back and forth arguing for a couple of months. William ended up paying Chainz fifteen- thousand for him to sign his rights away for Keifer and your dad was going to adopt him. Chainz signed and your dad paid him but there is a process to go through for adoption. Home studies and such so we had close to a year to wait. I don’t know for sure but I think your dad was being cautious of not making Chainz disappear at that time because of the adoption. In that time, Chainz stayed in the club and Kathy stayed with him even though she showed up at the club many times with bruises on her. It was a tug of war with Kyle. They would drop him off with me and I couldn’t tell them no. Kyle was Keifer’s brother and he was such a sweet child. He was no trouble and I loved him as much as I loved Keifer. He felt like he was mine. When he wasn’t with me I worried about him and so did your dad. We thought one day Chainz and Kathy just wouldn’t come and pick him up. Then Kathy nearly died from a drug overdose. After that she never touched another drug as far as I know. When Chainz would go off and get mean she would still drop Kyle off but she was more of a ma to Kyle then. Before you were born your dad and I worked some things out between us and he moved in here with me. I can’t say it was love at first but it was mutual respect and that is more than a lot of people have. We made it look like love to everyone. I think we got comfortable playing the role. Then your dad found out Chainz stole more money from the club and he had some shady deals going on with some other clubs. I am not for sure but talk was it had to do with selling of women and The Feral Steel may have not followed all the laws but they never would sell women. If a woman wanted to spread her legs and make some money. The club was ok with it. It was a voluntary thing. No one judged. William would not put up with stealing from his club not even from his blood brother. Not a second time. It made him look weak and we know you can’t look weak to your club. Not from anyone. Chainz left the club but he was not voted out. Some of the brothers wanted to kick him out. Chainz, Kathy and Kyle just disappeared. You were born and things went good for a couple of years. The adoption went through. Then your dad got that wondering eye. I didn’t party anymore. I was a ma to two sons. I couldn’t go to the parties or the rides the club went on and your dad was the President and I noticed he started coming home smelling of women. I knew what was going on. I sent your dad packing back to the clubhouse. I missed Kathy and I worried about Kyle. Unknown to me, Kathy was coming back around the clubhouse. You were about two years old when Chainz showed up here one day. He came and informed me that Kathy had been fucking around with William again and she was pregnant. Chainz told me the baby was William’s. He thought I would be all bent out of shape over it. I wasn’t. I had faced the cold reality that I would never be first in your dad’s life. The club was first, the club girls were first, you boys were first but not me and I knew I either had to accept it or leave. I couldn’t take you two from your dad or him from the two of you. I made my bed when I walked in the clubhouse doors the night I ran away from home. My situation was of my own doings and I just had to play the hand I was dealt. That just pissed Chainz off. He wanted me to get mad and leave with him. I was not that stupid.” I looked at Kylar and I can see the disappointment in his eyes. He hasn’t heard the worse part yet. “The next day he came back with Kathy and Kyle. I guess he thought I didn’t believe him. Kathy had bruises all over her. They were fresh bruises so I know the night before she had taken a beating from him but she was an adult. She chose to stay with him and there was nothing I could do about that but Kyle had bruises too and that is just something I couldn’t let happen again. The rambunctious little boy that played with Keifer was gone. He had sad eyes. It was like the life had left his eyes. It broke my heart. I cleaned him up, fed him, and put him down for a nap with you two boys. Chainz and Kathy were fighting so he was distracted. After the first time Chainz came over chasing after Kathy your dad had brought a gun to the house. He taught me how to use it so I could defend myself and protect you boys. That day I used it to kill Chainz. The club was letting him run crazy and I just couldn’t let him raise a hand to Kyle again. I got the gun from the shelf where I kept it and put it in my pocket. I walked right up to Chainz and shot him. He never seen it coming I wasn’t defending myself. I was protecting my other boy. Never again would that man put another bruise on Kyle. Then I called your dad. Kathy was hysterical. I went in and made sure you boys never got out of your room until Gertie got there to take you home with her. Your dad and the club cleaned up my mess. Your dad cut Chainz ink off his back and took his cut. The cops never knew anything about it and they never came looking for Chainz. Your dad set Kathy up in town in another house and the club kept an eye on her. William and I came to an understanding. I thought I would go to ground over it but the Feral Steel voted and with all the trouble Chainz had caused they thought I did them a favor. Your dad moved back in. Kane was born six months later and William had a DNA test done. Kathy disappeared with both the boys before the test came back. They looked for Kathy for a while but never found anything on her as far as I know. It was club business so I was not privy to the information. She knew your dad would take his son. William got the results and Kane is your brother just like Keifer. Everyone thought your dad killed his brother but it was me. I’m the reason all this happened. I don’t know how Keifer found out, or even if he did. Slick and your dad were the only original members still around. All the rest are either dead or have left. You know we lost a lot of the older members when your dad started talking about going completely legit. I haven’t talked to Kathy since the day Chainz died.” Kylar is just speechless.
“Why didn’t Steel tell me all this when Stone stole from the club? Hell, why didn’t he tell the rest of the club? He had a responsibility.” Kylar is pissed and he needs to vent for a while. It’s the least I can do to listen to him.
“You know why Kylar. He was trying to protect the club and he was trying to protect me. If your dad knew that Keifer knew he never told me. If he could have he would have protected the club.” I think for a minute and I know I need to say
something. “I know this is none of my business but Kylar don’t make the same mistakes that your dad and I made. Your relationship with Callie and your two boys should always come first. You can love the Feral Steel but do not put them first. Your family comes first. Your dad’s and my relationship was one of respect and a kind of love but not the kind of love you have with Callie. Protect that relationship because you will only get it once and you are damn lucky to have it. Not everyone is that lucky. Don’t take it for granted or you will be like me. Old and alone.” I feel the tears of regret slip down my cheeks.
“Woman you’re not old and you are not alone so don’t forget it. Now get your pretty little ass over here to your man because I am ready for bed and you have had enough for one night.” I see Bourbon by the back door. I never heard him come out. He says he is my man but I don’t even know how he can look at me the same way after he has heard even a part of my sins. Kylar’s face is showing nothing. I know he must have a hundred questions after I have just give him all this information. Callie is standing next to him now. Whispering something to him.
