by Sam Destiny
I jumped when arms wrapped around me from behind, as if this were an everyday occurrence and we weren’t two people in love who didn’t speak to each other.
It was in his eyes, in the way he watched me, but I knew his mind was still against us, kept holding him back. I couldn’t…wouldn’t hold out hope that it would change any time soon.
Slipping away from him, instantly missing his warmth, I lowered my chin, staring at the floor. “I’m leaving Lacrosse here. Maybe that will keep her from waking up until morning. I’ll pick her up when—”
“Or you could stay and take her with you tomorrow morning, Clare. You’re terrified anyway, so—”
“No more than I am of having you just do a one-eighty again. This, us…” I gestured between our two bodies, “had passed before it even began. I’m not going to be there, and—”
“Clare, I’m sorry. For being stupid, for walking out, but I had an appointment. Someone came to take care of my washing machine. That was all. That’s why I had to slip out of your bed.”
I sighed in exasperation. “That’s why you had to drag your daughter from my guest bedroom? That’s why you didn’t leave a note? Because you had someone coming over on a Sunday who couldn’t have waited just one fucking second? Let’s be honest here, Dale. Had you wanted it, wanted to be serious about this instead of regretting having shown up at my door in the first place, you’d have woken me up, kissed me goodbye, and explained why you were leaving. You never planned on coming back that day, which was why you took your daughter and haven’t talked to me since.” I licked my lips, running my hands through my curls. “I got the message loud and clear, and I accept it. So I’m going to leave.”
He caught my hand before I’d passed him.
“I don’t want you to leave. Both of you.”
I swallowed. “Talking about Lacrosse and me?” I knew he wasn’t, but I needed to see his reaction.
A smug grin played over his lips. “Lacrosse is already not going anywhere. I’m talking about you and the baby.” His expression softened. “I’m an idiot who likes to ignore his feelings, then shows up when it’s dark.”
I wondered for a moment if he realized the irony because, again, we were having a normal discussion after an emotional evening. “And who runs as soon as the light of day sets in? Welcome to the never-ending cycle. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done.” I smiled softly and gave in to the urge to touch him, pressing my hand against his chest. Dale’s heartbeat felt irregular, as if it couldn’t decide whether to break out into a panic at my words or stop altogether.
“I’m not.” He pulled me close. I let him because I craved it. “I’m not done with you and I’ll prove it. I might start looking at your social media, talking to your colleagues at work, or going through your mail to see what magazines you get, but if you don’t want to tell me about yourself, I’ll eventually find out your favorite flowers and food.”
A laugh left my lips, catching me by surprise. “That’s not at all stalkerish, or freaky, or weird.”
He chuckled. “But it got you to laugh, and that’s all I need. Clare, I’m going to make this right. I swear.” He cupped the back of my neck. I looked up at him, his eyes sincere.
“Zoodles…,” I whispered. He narrowed his eyes, confused. “That’s my favorite food. Zucchini noodles. I don’t care with what. And flowers? None. I’m not good with flowers anyway, and even the easy ones die on me. Bouquets are wasted because I forget to refill the water, so no flowers. If you want to impress me, bring me postcards. Funny ones, pretty ones, anything. They are my flowers.”
Why am I telling him all this?
“Noted,” he muttered, leaning in until our lips were just a breath apart. I knew he was going to kiss me, but I couldn’t allow it. He was always so sweet and amazing during the night, but once the sun rose, he turned into a completely different person.
“I’m leaving now. After all, the thunder has died down.” There hadn’t been one clap of thunder since Dale had entered the kitchen, but the rain still came down in buckets. “I hope Sally will be fine now. I mean… Well, we’ll just hope.”
I wanted to cuddle her small body to mine to reassure myself she was going to be okay, comforting her should she wake up again. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t my flesh and blood.
Holding her, rocking her, calming her came naturally and made me long to be a bigger part of her life.
Dale walked me to the door. I didn’t know why I turned back again. It was obvious I wasn’t going to say goodbye forever, wasn’t turning down his advances, but would see what he’d do to prove we belonged together.
He seemed to know that because he drew me in again and kissed my forehead, his lips lingering. I let his hug wash over me, let the comfort consume me until I knew I’d be okay for another day.
He grasped my face to make me look at him. “Again, I’m sorry, Clare. Count on you sleeping next to me soon, and not just for one night. Good night.” It was a promise, his voice solemn.
When he released me, I cocked my head, knowing he saw the doubt on my face.
“Good night,” I replied, then made my way back to my empty, silent house.
CLARE
Exhaustion had taken its toll on me, causing me to sleep late. Since it was Saturday and I had nowhere to be and nothing to worry about—not even Lacrosse because my dog had sleep-overs more often than not—I didn’t feel guilty for rolling over.
If the two next door got tired of my dog, they’d bring her back over.
A week had passed since the storm, and Dale had dropped by each morning just to say hello…and to bring me a postcard. He didn’t pressure me, didn’t ask for more. Just knocked on the door, kissed my forehead, and handed me the card, not even waiting for my reaction to them before he left.
Most had been funny, cute, and endearing, and one had tiny baby feet and a saying about new life fixing old mistakes. I knew what he was doing, chipping away at my resolve to not give in, but after I’d left him hopeful, could I really blame him?
The sound of hammers outside made me get up, and when I stepped to the window, I saw Sally and Lacrosse running around my yard, then over into Dale’s and back. There was something essential missing between the two properties.
Grabbing my robe, I slipped it on, holding it closed as I made my way down the stairs and out the front door—only to freeze on the porch. It was covered in postcards. From where I stood, I’d say half were about the future and half about love.
“Clare!” Sally called, waving from her yard as I bent to pick up the postcards. Grasping the pile, I made my way down the porch steps and around the house. There was a new fence around my lawn—one that stretched around Dale’s property, too. The fencing that normally separated our yards was gone, although Jacky’s roses were still there.
Dale stood on the border of our two yards, hammering another pole into place. He glanced at me with a small smile, as if he couldn’t care less that I was running around out here when his eyes conveyed how excited he was.
“There’s something missing between your house and mine,” I pointed out, my heart beating in my throat, nearly making it impossible to speak. I was already choking on emotions and I hadn’t even gone through the stack of cards in my hands.
“Daddy says Lacrosse needs more room, so he dog-proofed your garden and ours, then removed the fence. He says since you keep borrowing Lacrosse to us, it’s the least we can do.” Sally sounded excited, even happy, and looked much better since we discovered that her sleeping with Lacrosse meant she didn’t have the nightmares anymore.
Dale looked much better, too, the lines of exhaustion gone from his face.
My eyes were still on him, even though he was preoccupied with the fencing. “That’s what he said, huh? That you’re practically adopting my dog?” I knew I was teasing him, wanting to get a reaction, but he ignored my words while Sally shrugged.
“You can see her as often as we do, and now she can’t run away when you let her out dur
ing the day. It’s a good thing, Clare.”
I bit back a grin. “I can see my dog often, huh?”
Dale finally turned. “You’re not making a good case here, Sally.” He rolled his eyes dramatically. “How about letting your dad take over the argument?”
She didn’t even react, just threw her hands up before stomping away, Lacrosse following her.
It was official. My dog loved my neighbor’s daughter more than she loved me.
I couldn’t hide my smile as I stepped closer to him. “Well, Dad, make your case then.”
He reached out, cupping my cheek and running his thumb across my lips. It was such a small gesture, yet so incredibly intimate, it made me shiver. I saw longing in his eyes as he looked at me, and I nearly melted right there.
“I want our families together. You and Lacrosse belong with us, and combined yards is the start. The ground my house is on is mine, but I know the ground yours is standing on is for sale. If we combine that, we can expand either house, maybe build a small barn or something for me to start doing what I’ve always wanted to do. You were right. I need a hobby, need to do something I love. I can’t wait to get my hands on some furniture to sand and restore.”
He shrugged, turning away and surveying the area, as if he could already see all he envisioned.
“I won’t rush anything, Clare. We have seven months to find our new normal, our new routines. I was stupid to suggest you get rid of the baby. I had a serious brain fart that night, but… It doesn’t matter. Even if you decide against me in the end, it’s still my child. I want to see it.”
I arched a brow. “You’d want to be part of this baby’s life even if we go back to only being neighbors?”
He pulled me close. “We won’t ever be only neighbors again. You’re the mother of my child…and a mother figure for Sally.”
His voice was quiet, subdued, as if it were hard for him to admit all of this.
“We’re a mess,” I muttered, close to tears. Lately, I was always emotional, but I wanted what he insinuated—a family. “What if you realize you don’t like me?”
He laughed, the sound happy and relaxed. Damn, he was sure of himself. It was endearing, even if it should annoy me. “I don’t have to like you to love you.” He winked. “I’ve heard about couples who fight constantly. So, basically, nothing changes for us, except that I get to hold you in between you throwing plates at me.”
This time, it was me who had to laugh, resting my hands against his chest. Even though I would keep my own house to live in until we figured out what we were doing, I knew he’d won.
DALE
God, I’d missed holding her. We’d shared one night where I’d just held her, but besides a few hugs every now and then, there hadn’t been much more. Having her close again gave me the feeling of finding something I hadn’t even known I’d been missing.
I also knew she’d forgiven me and was considering all I’d said.
She wore a robe, pajamas under it, her hair a mess and her face devoid of make-up, but I couldn’t remember if I’d ever seen anyone as beautiful as she was.
Pressing a soft kiss to her nose, I wondered how in the world I could’ve been so stupid, starting something with her to begin with, then walking out the way I had.
I couldn’t help but think that the fights we had were just about us having off-the-charts chemistry, ending up in an explosion every time we’d been in a room together.
After all, I remembered thinking she was hot when she moved in next door, but soon realized what a nuisance she was.
She’d brought chaos into my life without even trying, and I craved it. I wanted her to sing in my kitchen loud and wrong, as if she didn’t have a care in the world.
I wanted her to get spitting mad at me when I was being an ass because, with only my daughter around, I sometimes forgot how to act like a normal human being.
God, I wanted to be there when a thunderstorm rolled in and she was terrified. I wanted to protect her, to ease her mind, to make sure she knew she was safe. I wanted my girls close just so I could kiss them both before I left for work.
She waved the stack of postcards she had in her hand. “And these?”
I grinned. “A bouquet of postcards. I was an asshole, a major one, and guys bring bouquets home after they fuck up. That is my apology. Part of it anyway. Why don’t you sit down and look through those while I finish up here, then I want to show you something else.”
She arched a brow, her emerald eyes showing curiosity. I watched her walk over to my porch and sit down. It took me a second to realize she’d done so because she could see Sally and Lacrosse bouncing around now.
Good thinking, although I knew neither could escape the garden with the new fence I’d built. I connected the last of the wires, screwed two pieces of fencing into place, then collected my tools and made my way over to her.
“Sal, will you be okay out here? Don’t leave the garden,” I called.
I watched her trying to convince Lacrosse to catch a stick, but it wasn’t working very well. Instead, my daughter was the one running after the stick.
I shook my head, calling out for her again, but she just waved at me, telling me to go. I held out my hand to Clare, and she took it, letting me help her up.
Her eyes welled with tears, so I knew she’d seen the baby postcards and all the promises I’d written on the back, like how I’d get up at least once to change the diapers, or how I was going to hold her hand through it all.
When she walked out of the house the night of the thunderstorm, I’d been sure I had convinced her I was serious. I stayed up all night, listing all the things I wanted with her, no matter how small. That had led to the idea of the postcards, and each night I spent writing them, I couldn’t help but realize how much I grinned with every new one.
“Should I be afraid?” she asked.
I laughed, sweeping her up into my arms to carry her inside. I just wanted to hold her close.
“Woah. Slow down, handsome. My stomach might not agree with so many quick movements.” She laughed, and I kissed her cheek. She’d not yet said anything that led me to believe she was ready to try this and not fear me walking out.
“Then we’ll just clean up the mess.”
Her emerald eyes filled with tears again. She tried to blink them away.
“Emotional, huh? Jacky was during her pregnancy, too, even crying over spilled water.” I wouldn’t lie. It had been my favorite part because she’d needed me then, had demanded my hugs. I’d willingly given them, too.
Unfortunately, Jacky hadn’t been a cuddler any other time.
“Where did you get lost to?” Clare asked.
I realized I had stopped in the middle of the hallway, lost in my own thoughts, and the woman in my arms suddenly started struggling to get down. I just held her closer to my chest.
“I was just thinking about how I love the emotional phase because you’ll probably need a lot of love and hugs. Maybe more,” I added with a wink, hoping to turn it into a joke.
She didn’t smile, though. “One issue with my ex was that he considered me too clingy. I love snuggling, kissing, hugging, holding hands. Just…”
“Casual touches proving how much you enjoy being with the person?” I finished, my voice rough and throat dry.
“This.”
I continued, walking into my bedroom, placing her on the bed. She glanced around. I had no idea what she was looking for and didn’t ask as I pulled something from a drawer.
Handing the light blue sheets with baby elephants on them to her, her eyes widened.
“I saw them Monday and had to buy them because I couldn’t help but feel as if you’d like them. So…” I shrugged. “Besides, I think I still have a blanket they’d go with and a crib where—”
“What if it’s a girl?” She looked crestfallen, as if she feared I would get mad if she didn’t give me a boy. I just reached back into the drawer and handed her the same sheets in pink.
“All p
repared. I’m falling in love you, Clare, and I cannot wait to meet our child. In fact, I was scared of everything changing, but now, I can’t wait for our future to come. Yours, Sally’s, Lacrosse’s, mine…and the baby’s.”
I waited for a moment as silent tears slipped down her cheeks, then she suddenly wrapped her arms around me and sobbed into my shoulder.
“I falling for you, too, you stupid, stubborn ass,” she muttered against my neck. I closed my eyes, holding her close.
“I might still be an ass sometimes,” I whispered. I fucked up on a regular basis and knew it was going to be hard to change.
She pulled back and looked at me. “And I’ll be able to handle it. Besides, you’ll have to deal with me being loud, so…”
I grinned. “And I’ll be able to handle it.”
A beaming smile lit up her face. “Kiss me, then we can go down again so I might finally see some of my dog.”
I complied, kissing her long and sweet, then eyed her attire.
“You want to change first?”
She grinned, shaking her head. “It’s just family after all, right?”
Man, I liked the sound of it and honestly? I couldn’t care less what she wore—as long as she was around me.
DALE - Nine Months Later
“Just stay away from the crib, Sally, Lacrosse. Ugh.”
I leaned back, watching Clare trying to shuffle my daughter and the dog away from little J’s crib.
Months had passed, and things had worked out perfectly. I couldn’t remember ever having been happier. When she walked up to me, I pulled her close.
“You make me so happy,” I whispered against her neck, and she exhaled slowly.
“Just because I gave you a son. However, your daughter and her dog cannot stay away and leave the little man be so he can sleep,” she groaned, albeit jokingly
“Our daughter,” I corrected, and she hesitated a moment before looking at me.
“Dale…”
