I started to type back to Matilda for more details about the bet she’d lost, but then Arielle appeared in front of me. She looked annoyed by how she crossed her arms and tapped her foot.
“Matilda just sent me a text,” I explained, ready to show her Matilda’s picture.
She actually rolled her eyes. “I thought I lost you. Couldn’t you wait to text her? You always drop everything when she calls or texts.”
Whoa, what was with the sudden attitude? I stopped typing but didn’t put away my phone. “You’re upset with me?”
She dropped her head across her shoulders. “Forget it. Dennis just said something stupid, and….” She shook her head and caught my arm. “I’m just nervous about the contest.”
“You shouldn’t be nervous. You’re going to win.” I finally dropped my phone back in my bag, Matilda forgotten, and I was the one this time to tug Arielle to the stage. She relaxed, and an easygoing expression settled on her face. After the contest ended, I would ask her what Dennis had said to piss her off and why she’d almost taken it out on me.
But that was forgotten as she joined a line of twenty or so people dressed in fabulous costumes waiting to take the stage. There must have been a preregistration, because a person in charge with a clipboard checked off the name of each person who moved ahead. When Arielle’s name was called and she climbed up onstage, she received the most applause and cheers from the crowd. It made sense since most were her sisters and frat brothers, plus Dennis and members of the football team.
Arielle was pretty much a shoo-in for first place. She stood out from all the other participants, even though the majority wore inventive costumes. When the announcer started speaking, the crowd surged forward. Feeling claustrophobic, I quickly moved to the side and away from the wave of people. I would wait near the stairs so when Arielle left the stage, she would see me first.
The announcer introduced those onstage by their name and costume. When she reached Arielle, I started to clap, but someone came up to my side and jostled me for no reason. As I started to shift away, I faced the person but froze. It was Robyn, dressed as a flapper. I hated to admit it, but she looked pretty damn good.
“Hi, Robyn. Not entering the contest?” I decided to play nice.
“I want Arielle to win, although I wouldn’t have minded standing next to her onstage.” She gave me a stiff smile. “Our sophomore year we dressed as mermaids and tried to win best duo but lost. I didn’t mind losing, because it was fun dressing up with Arielle. Afterward we went to one of the frat parties with Dennis. Perhaps history will repeat itself.”
Dennis kept shouting Arielle’s name and cheering her on along with his boys. Arielle beamed onstage, soaking up the adoration. Not once did she scan the area for me.
“Sorry to disappoint you, but Arielle and I aren’t going to any frat party after we’re done here,” I said with some bitchiness in my tone.
Robyn pressed her lips together, as if she was trying not to laugh. “You and Arielle, huh? I remember when I was just like you and let Arielle make all the decisions for us.”
“I’m not like you. What I have with Arielle is none of your business.” I dug my fingers into my palms to block the pulse that started pounding in my ears.
She stared back up at the stage. “Did she say you should go in the haunted fun house after the contest? I’ve gone with her many times. We love the hall of mirrors. There’s one corner where you can hide in the shadows and no one will see.” She wet her bottom lip with the tip of her tongue. “We stayed in there a long time.”
I moved in front of her. “I don’t care what you and Arielle did in the fun house. That’s in the past. She told me about her relationship with you and Dennis, so taunting me about it is stupid.”
She rocked back on her heels and clapped. “She might be done with me but don’t count on her sticking with you for long. You’re a novelty for now. She loves helping lost causes.” The proud light in her eyes dimmed. “I was once one of them. Being with her was a rush. She helped me find my self-confidence and act on things I was afraid to do. Once she helped me believe in myself, she tossed me away and moved on to the next lost soul.” She curled her upper lip. “Or maybe I should say sad-sack loser.”
“You’re calling me names? How old are you?” I moved away from her to give myself some breathing room.
“You’ll never be as good or on the same level as Arielle. I’m just stating a fact,” she said with more emptiness than emotion.
If she had slapped me in the face, it wouldn’t have hurt as much. I’d known from the beginning I would never be like Arielle or dare to imagine having a shot at anything long-term with her. The joke was on Robyn, because her jealous warning wasn’t a bombshell. It put things into better perspective.
Suddenly the crowd around us went wild as the announcer said Arielle’s name. I’d missed the entire event. Arielle covered her mouth in shock. The crowd in the middle separated, and Dennis ran up, vaulting onto the stage and pulling her into a bear hug. He swung her around and kissed her.
I turned away, my eyes burning. Robyn walked a few steps ahead. She glanced over her shoulder at me with a grimace. “See what I mean? Maybe you and I are the same. We can’t compete with someone like Dennis. Just keep in mind if you stay with Arielle in her world, either as her friend or something more, there will always be someone like Dennis to grab her attention away from you. I learned the hard way. At least I braved it, but you? I don’t think you can.”
“Leave me the hell alone,” I said, totally deflated. It was bad enough having an altercation with Robyn, but seeing Dennis kiss Arielle in public, and have her return it, tore me apart. Flashbacks to Larissa and Byron rose up, making me blind to the present and thrusting me back to the past.
I didn’t notice Robyn leave because I darted away, pushing past people. I couldn’t face Arielle like this—crushed and overcome with misery. Black spots floated in front of my eyes, and the glare of the lights as evening descended brought on a headache. My head hung heavy on my shoulders, and my nose and eyes itched as tears welled. But I wouldn’t cry. I would roam, lost in the unknown faces, pretending I belonged. I would hide my pain and the knowledge I would never fit in again.
I shuffled my sneakers in the dirt and grass, wincing at the canned music from the rides and the yells and high-pitched screams of people enjoying themselves. When I heard the sounds of thunder and a recording of a witch’s cackle, I stopped to study the building in front of me.
I’d seen amusement fun houses or haunted houses before, but this structure wasn’t your run-of-the-mill, hastily constructed building. It looked like an actual house, but on closer inspection it had been professionally designed and painted to create a lifelike image of brick and rock.
A side door flew open, and people came running out laughing and screaming as gray fog trailed after them. Fake lightning crashed overhead, and spooky sounds blasted from a sound system attached to the outside. The line wasn’t too long. Most were my age or older, which made sense, given the sign in front stating Sixteen and Older Only.
I could have kept walking. What was the point of going in the house alone? The fun was doing it with someone else. I should still be with Arielle, but after my run-in with Robyn and Dennis kissing Arielle onstage, I wanted to do something by myself. Silly as it sounded, maybe entering this haunted fun house was something I needed to do. How scary could it be? Maybe I would find one of those shadowy corners and hide there, watching others getting spooked. Maybe it would help stop the buzzing in my head and quiet those rambling thoughts that forever chased me?
THE LONG hallway was dank and dark with fake cobwebs and sounds of chains and wind. People dressed in masks jumped out at me, making me yelp, but I didn’t hurry through like some did. They bypassed me, some running fast, while others held on to their partner, praying or cursing as they left the room.
There were some gruesome scenes acted out by human players and some animatronics. Monster-like creatures dropped do
wn from the ceiling. Ahead, chainsaws roared, and screams echoed. Lights flickered, and something wet oozed down the walls. Eventually I reached the end of the hall and had to choose between two doors with signs that said Beware This Way and Beware That Way. I picked the door on the right. It swung open, and I braced myself for the unknown, expecting someone dressed as a ghoul or zombie to dart out and scare me.
Instead I found a large room with mirrors, and strobe lights flashing overhead. This must be the maze of mirrors Robyn had mentioned. I moved ahead with my hands out, walking along the sides through the open spaces, quickly becoming lost. But then I saw a red arrow on the floor directing me to what I assumed was the exit. I turned right and stopped in front of a warped mirror with a laser flickering over it. Suddenly a shape moved behind it, and hands sprung forward. I gasped and jumped back, finally given a fright.
The lights dimmed, and something brushed my arm.
“Shit!” I backed into one of the panels, and the strobe lights came on again. A few feet in front of me stood Arielle.
“How’d you know I was in here?” I rubbed my arms.
“I saw you get in line.” She took a step toward me.
“You could see me while you sucked face with Dennis?” I leaned back on the panel and crossed my arms over my chest.
“If you’d stayed, you would have seen me push him away and yell at him for kissing me.” She tapped her fingers on her waist and rolled back her shoulders.
“I didn’t run away. I went for a walk.” I stared down at my feet. The lights had become too bright and blurred my vision.
“You should have waited for me. I wanted to celebrate with you.” She moved in closer.
“You could have celebrated with Dennis. Or how about Robyn? We had a great chat about you.” I turned to leave.
Arielle’s arm flew out, blocking my escape. “If Robyn is harassing you—”
“What are you going to do about it?” I knocked her arm away, not in the mood to talk about her former girlfriend, or lover, or whatever Robyn was to her.
Arielle shifted in front of me and twisted me around until she held my upper arms and pressed me into the glass. I inhaled as my heart rose up my throat. She was so close the heat of her body joined mine.
“Don’t be scared,” she whispered.
“Don’t be scared of what? You holding me like this?” I asked.
“Because I want to kiss you,” she said, and did just that.
This kiss wasn’t like the one she’d given me in her room. She set her mouth on mine but didn’t do more. One hand cupped my face while the other fell away. I heard a click, but I didn’t make out what it was since I was trying to breathe through my nose. If I breathed through my mouth, I would have opened it and slipped out my tongue, and—
She pushed me to the right and back until we were cloaked in darkness. I heard the snick of a door latch, and then nothing more. She removed her mouth and hugged me, my face hiding against the side of her neck as she whispered my name.
I blinked a few times, and the darkness lessened. Strobe lights from the mirror room flashed behind the small window in the middle of the door.
“Why did you pull me in here?” I peered up at her, barely making out her features.
“Workers can watch in here undetected. Behind you is another door, which opens to a secret hallway. It’s a great way to spy on people.” She lowered her face, her mouth brushing my forehead. “I volunteered here last year, so I know the secret passages.”
“Okay, so you wanted to show me for what reason?”
She moved her hand behind my head, cupping me there. Her fingers combed the edge of my scalp. “It’s busy out there. I wanted a few minutes alone with you.”
“You got what you wanted.” I laid my cheek back down on her shoulder. Her fingers lulled me into a state of relaxation.
“This is the first time we’ve been alone since that night in my room.” She tightened her hold.
“It doesn’t feel strange with you here, even though it should.” Never in a million years would I have imagined I’d be in the dark with Arielle, and in her arms. Least of all in a haunted fun house.
“I’m going to be honest with you, so please don’t get scared, but I want to do more than just hold you in a dark room.”
I tilted back my head, able to see her face better now that I’d grown accustomed to the darkness. “You want to kiss me like you did in the mirror room.”
“I want to do more than just kiss you.” She traced the side of my face and under my chin.
I shivered from her touch, but not because of the cold.
“Will you kiss me now?”
She flexed her fingers in my hair.
“Haven’t you had enough kisses tonight?” I asked.
She cursed and squeezed my nape. “Dennis made a dick move. There’s no reason for you to be jealous of him. The last taste I want in my mouth is yours.”
Whoa, she had the right words. I found her arm and took her hand. Clutching it, I kissed it. She inhaled, a little squeak that made me smile. I set my other hand on her hip and raised my mouth higher. Rubbing her bottom lip with my top one, I flicked my tongue along the skin there, the remains of something sweet and delicious making me hungry for more. I licked harder, enjoying her moan.
As much as Arielle wanted to taste me, I wanted to do the same to her. I pressed my mouth fully on hers, and sucked. She sucked back, and soon our mouths molded together, flushed and damp. Our tongues danced together, quick and fast. Then she fisted her fingers in my hair. I sighed from the slight sting, unafraid. For once I didn’t panic. Sharing the darkness with Arielle and her mouth on mine, were everything I wanted.
We kept kissing, just our lips and tongues touching. Arielle kept one hand in my hair while I held her other hand. She didn’t rub against me or press me back into a wall and demand more. We took and shared equally.
She broke the kiss first and ran her hands on my back while I tried catching my breath. I wanted more of her kisses, but when I drew her mouth to mine, she stepped back.
“What’s wrong?” I licked my lips.
“How do you feel?”
“Great.” I tucked my hair behind my ears. My headband had been dislodged, and it landed on the floor.
“Good.” She nodded. “I’d love to continue making out with you, but maybe we should find someplace more private.”
“Mo-more private?” My voice cracked, and I winced.
She grabbed my hands, which had become tight fists. She stroked them, helping loosen my muscles. “I don’t want to rush anything. This is a—”
“Test?” I joked, pulling my hands from hers and wrapping my arms around her waist.
“I want you to come back to my room with me.” The tension, combined with the hope in her voice, made me tremble.
“What if I’m not ready to do more than we just did here?” I lowered my cheek to her chest, where I heard her heartbeat.
Both her palms rested on the back of my head. “I promised you slow and steady, and I’m sticking to it. You’re in charge here. You make the first move, and I follow.”
“And what if I said I just wanted to watch Sex and the City and snuggle with you on your bed?” I closed my eyes, tightening my grip.
“We can do that.” She didn’t sound too sure.
I really wanted to talk to her about Dennis and Robyn, but it would be a mood killer. Right now I was at peace and the calmest I had been in a long time. I wanted to keep ignoring those outside forces that made our relationship more difficult than it already was.
“How about we find our way out of here and grab some funnel cake? We’ll take it back to your room.” I bent down to grab my headband. I didn’t want to leave any evidence behind.
“I’m down with that.” She looped her arm around my shoulder and nuzzled my ear. “Funnel cake is messy. You’ll need help wiping the powdered sugar off your face and mouth.”
“Wiping is code for something else, right? If so, I’m
all for you wiping me down.” I snickered over my lame statement. I stopped her from poking fun at me by snagging her chin and giving her a firm peck on the mouth.
Arielle responded with more than just a peck and guided me to an exit and back out into the world, with me by her side the entire time.
Chapter FIFTEEN
I SHUT off the blow dryer and pulled my brush through my hair one last time. Instead of letting my hair dry naturally, I decided to style it, not because I wanted to try something new, but because of the day. Thanksgiving had arrived all too soon, and today I would see Dad for the first time in months. I also planned to dress to impress, because Arielle had invited me to her house for dessert. She made it seem like it wasn’t a big deal that I would meet her parents for the first time.
My hair refused to behave. Cowlicks sprouted along the top of my head, and my blonde roots showed. Great, just great.
“Kill me now,” I groaned, setting my palms on the sink as I studied a drop of water hanging from the faucet.
“What’s the matter, cuz?” Jo appeared in the doorway, fully dressed, her makeup and hair styled to perfection.
“My hair is total crap.” I lifted a hank of my hair. “It won’t behave, and my roots are showing.”
She stepped inside and set her hand on the top of my head, tilting it down to inspect the damage. “Your roots aren’t that bad. I have some barrettes you can use. I don’t think your dad will care about your hair.”
“I’m not worried about my dad. It’s Arielle. She invited me to her parents’ house for dessert. They have a bunch of family and friends there also.” I covered my face. “It’s bad enough the dress I bought makes me look pasty and stiff.”
She pulled my hands down from my face. “Stop it. I helped you pick out the dress. You look great in it, especially now you’re not all skin and bones like back in August. You fill it out well.”
I had gained almost fifteen pounds, in part because of Arielle. She thought I was too skinny, which I was. I was still five pounds away from being back to my weight from two years ago. Some girls would probably die to be rail thin, but not me. My weight loss had been from stress and a lack of appetite that had stayed with me for too many months. Now with Arielle in my life, my hunger had returned, and it wasn’t just for the deep-dish veggie pizza we loved or the experimental dinners she cooked for us on the weekends.
Rage to Live Page 16
