by M. Sembera
Sophia started to smile as her front door opened.
Ailin walked in with William, Braden and Auggie right behind him. Sophia hopped up and threw her arms around Ailin's neck and kissed him.
"Nice," Braden laughed at the site of them.
Auggie rolled his eyes at them, as William tried to avoid their semi-public display of affection by looking at me, saying, "Hey, how ya been?"
"Good," I answered before asking, "Is The Dog House all ready for the big opening?"
"Yea, wait 'til you see it. There's this great picture of..." he said before trailing off, asking, "You're coming, Right?"
Knowing the expression on my face was giving me away, I replied, "I don't think..." before Auggie cut me off with an angry tone, griping, "You're not coming?"
Sophia blurted, "Mama?"
"Ren, you gotta," Braden swore before Ailin begged, "Please? You have to come watch us play."
Starting to feel guilty, I said, "I don't feel right going."
Auggie cut me off again, saying, "But you're the one that christened the bar."
My eyes were wide as I snapped "What!"
Shaking his head at me, he griped, "Gah, you're not Irish at all," before explaining, "Your fight with the red head. It's not a real bar unless a fight breaks out at least once."
Calming down from my almost panic attack, I informed, "It's not just that, I have something really important that night."
They all looked at each other before Braden, negotiated, "One song. Come on Ren, it won't be the same without you there."
Watching the five of them anxiously awaiting my reply, I caved, saying, "Alright one song."
Sophia jumped up and down clapping her hands, while the other four looked pleased.
Resuming the original reason Ailin's brothers came over, Sophia clapped her hands and demanded everyone get to work. The boys started moving old furniture out, arguing the whole time.
As soon as it was just William and I, he sat down and asked, "How's Charlotte doing?"
Hesitantly, I replied, "She's leaving for Spain Friday night."
My heart broke a little as he said, "Oh," and looked at the floor.
"Sorry," I quietly replied.
Continuing to stare at the floor, he said, "It's not like we were going to be together anyway."
I thought for a moment before asking, "Did you think that?"
Shrugging, he admitted, "Once she turns eighteen, it wouldn't be a big deal and if we were seeing each other then everyone could see all the good things about her that I do."
Rubbing my face with my hand, I fought to keep from crying as I shared, "William, you are so sweet. I see the good things about her but she's still not the girl for you."
"Because she doesn't love me?" he asked before saying, "I know, she told me but... maybe she just doesn't know how."
Shaking my head at the situation, I offered, "Well, maybe when she comes back things will be different."
"When is she coming back?" he asked.
"She'll be gone for at least a year."
Nodding, he looked at me and asked, "Will you tell her something for me? Tell her that when she comes back, if she still wants me to, I'll forgive her."
Nodding at him, I agreed.
~
Honey was playing in the grass while I sat on my back porch watching her. After being cooped up in her carrier at Sophia's apartment all day, while we moved furniture around, she needed some outside time. Thinking what a day, I had to laugh at myself. Peer pressure doesn't stop when you're a teenager, that's for sure. All it takes is a group of people that you care about and you can say goodbye to your will power.
Going to The Dog House wasn't something I wanted to do. Well, I did want to go, I just was unsure how I would feel when I saw Jackson there. I was stuck with a sudden dilemma. What if he ignores me? Do I want him to? What if he says hi, like nothing happened? Is that what I want? With a heavy sigh, I gave up. I promised to stay for one song and I was sure not much would happen and it would be fine.
35
One Song
Parking across the street from The Dog House, it was packed. Clearly, opening night was going to be a great success. I took a few deep breaths and stepped out of my car. Without making it far, I bumped into Mr. and Mrs. Thomas.
"Hey girl," Mr. Thomas cheered at me before Mrs. Thomas hugged me, saying, "I'm so glad you came."
Thinking out loud, "Me too," I really was.
"Who's the present for?" Mrs. Thomas asked, glancing at the gift bag I was holding.
With a slight laugh, I answered, "Oh, it's for Auggie."
They both gave me a strange look as Mr. Thomas questioned, "Seriously?"
Laughing, I shared, "It's really for the bar but I'm giving it to him."
"I bet I know what it is," Mrs. Thomas said with a wide smile.
Winking at her, I figured she did.
Continuing into The Dog House, I headed straight for Auggie while Mr. and Mrs. Thomas went their own way to take a look around.
Old Lou and Auggie were behind the bar filling drink orders when I leaned against the bar and asked, "Got a minute?"
"Uh, yea, just a sec," Auggie replied.
At my left, the wall that was blank for the soft opening, was now filled with pictures in frames. Stepping over to look at all of them, I waited for Auggie.
Placing my hand over my mouth, I couldn't keep myself from tearing up. Mixed in with pictures of Old Gus, the Thomas', when they were just starting out, and Gus with Sarah, there was a picture of me, Jackson and Gus from when Jackson worked there our senior year. The three of us were close together with beers in hand. For Gus it was his regular smile, but Jackson and I both had our faces scrunched up on one side and an eye closed, copying his smile in what we always referred to as the Gus face.
A bump from behind me caused me to wipe my eyes and look up. Auggie was next to me smiling at the picture with the side of his face scrunched up just like his dad used to.
"It would have been cool to have known you back in the day," he shared.
Nodding, I handed him the gift bag, saying, "Here."
With a confused look, he reached down into the bag and pulled out the wooden plaque that said The Dog House.
"I was wondering what happened to this," he said.
Smiling, I shared, "I gave that to your dad for his birthday one year. I took it after Sophia and Ailin's reception here because I thought this place was closing down. But it belongs here, with you."
Auggie appeared sentimental for a second before saying, "I'm not going to hug you or anything like that." As I laughed he informed, "But I got something for you too."
"You did?"
Yep, but it has to stay here," he informed.
Confused, I shook my head at him.
With a smart-assy grin, Auggie pointed to a picture on the wall. Moving to the side to get a better look, I smacked him on the arm after I read the green picture with white writing that said Have a Pint and Punch Someone.
Laughing, Auggie patted his chest, saying, "What? It's straight from the heart, Ren."
Shaking my head, I knew my face was a little red as I laughed.
My laughter faded as Auggie scowled at me.
"That red head didn't know what she was talking about," he said.
"I know."
With a sincere expression, he imparted, "A Man Never Gives His Heart Away Unless He Knows That's Where Its Gonna Stay."
Staring at him, I had no idea Auggie could be so profound.
"It will take a hell of a woman to finally mark your heart but when she does, she'll have herself a good man," I assured.
Pausing for a moment, Auggie rubbed the left side of his chest and proclaimed, "Never."
Drawing in a deep breath while shaking my head, I started to fuss at him when Sophia popped up between us.
Hooking her arm around mine, Sophia pursed her lips and glared up at Auggie.
"Shouldn't you be behind the bar?" she questioned.<
br />
Her bossiness towards him surprised me a little but not as much as the fact that he turned away and walked back behind the bar without a single comment to her.
Tilting her head at me, she smiled wide, saying, "Come sit with me, they're fixing to start."
Raising an eyebrow at her, I asked, "Is something going on?"
Shifting her eyes away from mine, Sophia giggled, "No mama, come on," as she pulled me in the opposite direction.
Stopping at a table by the stage, marked reserved, we took our seats. Sophia seemed overly excited. Assuming it was seeing her husband play in front of everyone, I smiled and patted her arm.
Leaning closer to her as the music started to play, I reminded, "One song and then I have to go."
Visibly upset, she pouted, "But mama..." when the music suddenly stopped.
Braden gave a light sigh into the microphone before announcing, "Sorry folks, we're gonna pause a moment to thank the man who made all of this possible."
My heart instantly started pounding in my chest as I looked across the room and saw Jackson standing behind the bar between Auggie and Old Lou.
Everyone in The Dog House clapped as Jackson smiled wide and raised his hand in a waving motion. It appeared as though he was going to grab a beer and head to the back when Auggie stepped around and stopped him.
Braden continued, "We've been trying to think of a way to thank you for keeping dad's bar going." With a 'that's not necessary' head shake, Jackson looked at Braden as he informed, "Yea, yea, we came up with something anyway but it's not for you. Jacks, we love you man, so this one's for the bird."
My eyes instantly shot to Braden as he winked at me and started to play.
Recognizing the song right away, 'Sorry' by Buckcherry, goosebumps covered my arms and legs. I couldn't help glancing in Jackson's direction. The beer that was in his hand was now empty and he looked like he wanted to throw it across the room. He quickly grabbed another and took a step forward before Auggie nudged him in my direction.
Feeling my insides twist, the second Jackson looked at me, I swallowed hard. Everyone else seemed focused on the song and watching the band play except for Jackson and I. Neither one of us seemed to know what to do. Listening to the words as I looked at him 'I miss you' I missed him too. His eyes reflected the lyrics 'I'm sorry about all the things I said to you', 'Its never too late to make things right', 'I'm sorry, baby', 'I'm sorry'. Twisting my fingers in my hands, tears welled in my eyes when the song ended and he mouthed, 'I'm sorry,' to me. Nodding at him, my heart was thumping hard as I stood.
Looking back at Sophia, her eyebrows were raised and she was biting her bottom lip, waiting to see what would happen next.
Glancing around for a moment, I said, "I have to go." Her face fell as I reminded, "I stayed for one song. I have to go."
There was so much I wanted to say to Jackson but I had to go. Tripping as I hurried through the bar, I glanced back at Jackson. I gave him a soft smile before heading out of the door.
~
Speeding up to the airport, my entire body was now in panic mode. I hoped Jackson would forgive me for running out on our moment because I would never forgive myself if I missed seeing Charlotte off. Thankfully, I was able to speed walk and run fast enough to catch her before she boarded.
Reeling from what took place at The Dog House and severely out of breath, I was slouching and taking deep breaths as I made my way up to her and Amila.
"I didn't...think...I was gonna...make it," I panted, holding my side as I said, "I was at the bar."
Amila gave me a curious look as Charlotte smiled, assuring, "I knew you'd make it."
Smiling back, I asked, "Where's Emerson?"
"He already boarded. He's going to fly with her and make the turn around," Amila answered before saying, "They are just about ready to take off."
Amila hugged Charlotte tight telling her that she loved her before letting go and stepping back to give us a few minutes to say goodbye.
I took a deep breath and gave her a hug. Letting go of each other seemed as hard for her as it was for me.
"You call me for anything, okay. I don't care what time," I demanded.
Nodding at me, she questioned, "I guess, you don't have a note for me or anything like that?"
With a light smile, I shared, "William said, when you come back, if you still need him to, he'll forgive you."
Her eyes expressed immense regret with just a hint of hope.
"Take care of yourself and behave," I said, hugging her again.
Nodding into my shoulder for a moment, she quickly let go and boarded her plane.
Amila walked up beside me. I placed my arms around her shoulders as we watched the plane take off.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
With a sigh, she replied, "I wish we would have had more time with her."
Agreeing, I said, "There's never enough time when you're a mom."
"What if she doesn't come back?" Amila questioned.
Shrugging, the thought made me sad as I answered, "Then hopefully it will be because she has a really good life there."
Giving her shoulders a squeeze, I let go asking, "You want to have lunch one day next week?"
A slow smile spread across her face as she said, "I want to know how the grand opening went."
"There were a lot of people, the band was..." I started before she interrupted, "You know what I'm asking."
Trying to control my smile as I thought of how it was, I replied, "I think he still wants to be with me."
"You think?"
Shrugging, I explained, "I don't know, the night of the soft opening he said he was done but it didn't seem that way tonight."
Amila's eyes grew wide along with her smile as she questioned, "What did it seem like? What did he say?"
Finding it hard to explain, I replied, "He kinda said he was sorry."
Appearing frustrated, she fussed, "Are you really going to make him chase you for another twenty years?"
"Well no, but I..." I barely got the words out before she suggested, "Maybe it's time for you to chase him."
Rolling my eyes at her, I laughed, "What? You want me to show up on his door step and profess my undying love to him."
Throwing her hands in the air, she blurted, "Why not!"
Taking a deep breath, I slowly exhaled, saying, "I...I don't know."
Smiling at me Amila, offered, "Go get him."
Shaking my head with a laugh, I hugged her.
~
My drive home from the airport was one filled with hopes and ideas. By the time I made it home, it was incredibly late. As I curled up with Honey in my bed, I decided I would pack a bag and head to Jackson's apartment first thing in the morning. It was a risk but I knew I would have a better chance proving that I had chosen him, if I showed up ready to be with him, on his terms for once.
36
Heading Home
Stuffing everything I thought I couldn't live without into a large suitcase, I leaned against it to latch it closed. Honey was fed and taken outside. The only thing left for me to do was get everything in my car and head over to, as Amila put it, 'go get him'.
It was hard to tell if it was anxiety or anticipation that I was feeling as I parked in front of Jackson's apartment. Glad there was a space right in front, I didn't like the idea of leaving Honey in the car if I couldn't see her. Darting out of the driver's side, I took a deep breath and knocked.
My heart just about stopped and I thought I might throw up when a twenty something blonde girl opened the door wearing next to nothing saying, "Yes?"
Shaking my head, I couldn't form a complete thought as I looked at the apartment number and then back at her.
A man's voice came from inside, asking, "Babe, who's at the door?"
The barely clothed blonde appeared concerned as she asked, "Are you okay?"
All I could do was stare at her when a man, who was not Jackson, walked up behind her, asking, "Can we help you?"
&nbs
p; Confused, I looked at them, the apartment number and then back at them, answering, "I guess, I have the wrong apartment."
With a cheery smile the blonde shared, "We just moved in about a month ago and don't really know anybody yet. What number were you looking for?"
"This one. I didn't know he moved..." I thought out loud.
The man behind her responded with a 'yikes' expression as she replied, "Oh, I'm really sorry."
Nodding, I said, "Sorry to have bothered you," as she nodded back and closed the door.
I stared at my car for a moment before sliding in the driver's side and grabbing my cellphone out of my purse. I called Mrs. Thomas and she said she was sure he was home. After I told her okay, it occurred to me I should have asked her where that was. I started to call her back when my phone rang.
When I answered, William asked, "Did she get off okay?" in a quiet voice.
Focused on where Jackson was I replied, "Yea, where is Jackson?"
"Home I guess, we all left around four this morning."
A bit frustrated, I stated, "I'm at his apartment and he doesn't live there anymore."
After a long pause, William replied, "You didn't know that?"
"Obviously not, can you just tell me where he is?" I griped.
"Ren, he's at his house."
Sitting there anxious and irritated, I suddenly felt stupid.
"Thanks," I blurted and hung up.
Pulling out of the apartment complex, I headed back towards my neighborhood. Gawh, I was dense. I was so caught up in myself and having things my way, I never realized the whole time he was dropping hints. From the night we parked at the wooded area right outside my neighborhood, he found a builder, all the way to saying Honey would have a nice big yard to play in. Mentally admonishing myself, I even thought, what a jack-ass, when I noticed the property gated off one day when I drove by. After that day, I refused to look in that direction when I drove by because it made me sad. It wasn't some pretentious jerk though, it was Jackson and he was building us a home.
Excitement coursed through me when I stopped my car at the gate. I quickly hopped out. As I reached down to unlatch the gate, I stopped. Taking a step back, I thought about the blonde girl that was now living in his old apartment. She wasn't there with him, he no longer lived there, but the thought of a similar situation caused me to rethink what I was doing.
