Anaconda: A Sexy Romantic Comedy

by Landish, Lauren

  Brianna looks stunned, smiling. “So you mean . . .?”

  “I’m coming to live here permanently,” I agree, kissing her again. She pulls me close, but I step back, shocking her when I go to my knee. “And I was thinking, I want to start my new life right here. Brianna, will you marry me?”

  I pull out the engagement ring from the pocket of my warmups, opening it to show her the half-carat Cartier diamond, nervous for only an instant before Brianna nods, tears in her eyes. “Yes!”

  “Damn, I thought Bri’s pussy was slammin’ before, but if Gavin Adams is putting a ring on it, it must be out of this world!” Mindy jokes from beside us, but I ignore her as Brianna wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me again deeply, my cock stirring in my pants even though I’m beaten up and exhausted. “Congratulations, Bri!”

  “I’m glad you asked,” Brianna whispers in my ear, ignoring Mindy too after I put the ring on her finger. “I have some news for you, too. Remember when you came and visited at Thanksgiving?”

  “How could I forget?” I ask, grinning. A win on Thanksgiving Day followed by three days of wonderful bliss with Brianna at her new apartment? I don’t know which was sorer, my body from the game or my body from the number of times we made love that weekend.

  “Well, I can’t be sure . . . but I’d say that was the weekend that you left me with a little surprise,” she says with a smile.

  The news nearly brings me to my knees, a surge of elation washing over me. “You’re fucking with me!”

  Brianna shakes her head, her eyes filled with tears and pride. “Congratulations, Gavin Adams. You’re going to be a father.”

  Tears come to my eyes as I pull Brianna close, kissing her again, my heart exploding with absolute joy.

  Meanwhile, Mindy grins as she looks on, wiping tears from her eyes. Apparently, she’s been in on it the whole time. “Guess the Anaconda is gonna be busy tonight!” she cracks, her voice filled with emotion.

  I grin, a chuckle escaping my lips as I pull my sweet Bunny in for another kiss, growling, “You’re damn right it will.”

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  Blitzed: A Secret Baby Sports Romance

  By Lauren Landish

  “I brought Laurie back to meet her father. I brought her back to meet you.”

  I’m normally not into jocks, but when Troy Wood asks me out, I feel like I’m the Chosen One. After all, he’s hot as hell and Silver Lake’s best athlete, practically the King of Campus.

  God’s gift to women—that’s what they call him, but I’ll make a gentleman out of him.

  Everything is perfect, and he already practically has his ticket to the Big Leagues.

  There’s just one little problem . . . I’m hiding a secret that could destroy him and his future. I can’t tell him . . . I can’t tell him that I’m pregnant with his baby.

  **Blitzed is a full-length romance with an HEA, no cheating, and no cliffhanger!

  Part I

  High School Seniors

  Chapter 1

  Whitney

  Thank God the bad part of summer is over, I think to myself, adjusting my newly bought burgundy skirt around my hips as I step out of my 2005 Honda Civic— which had long ago worn out its welcome, along with its air conditioner. It gets me around town, though, so that works. The heat is so unbearable.

  The summer had been blistering, the hottest on record, with days that reached temperatures of 105 degrees, and I spent most of the summer simply fighting to stay cool. Now, I’m happy to finally get some relief as summer lets go of its stranglehold on the Pacific Northwest a bit. Right now, it’s seventy degrees, and the cooler air feels great on my skin.

  My limbs tremble slightly while I stand in front of my car door. My heart starts to race. It's my first day back at school, so I'm more than a little anxious, though I'm not sure why, since I've done this enough by now.

  Get it together, girl, I tell myself. This is your last year here. You won't have to see most of these people ever again after you graduate. And the one or two you want to see, you’ll stay in touch with. You know that.

  Taking a deep, calming breath, I check my appearance in the side view mirror before moving on. My hair and makeup look all right—light foundation, blush and a hint of eye shadow, and my locks are long and wavy, the way that I think it looks best. When I'm satisfied, I gather my books, shut the door of my Honda, lock it, and then make my way through the parking lot and onto the Silver Lake High campus.

  A feeling of nostalgia rolls through me as I set foot on the grounds and I’m greeted by the familiar layout. It looks just like I remember, with beautiful paved walkways, meticulously groomed lawns, and exquisitely built structures. Deep red brick and glass lend a weight to the buildings, while the high-reaching steel and glass make it not too stuffy.

  It's probably one of the best maintained High Schools in the state, I think, but too bad it's filled with a bunch of douches.

  Despite my fondness for my high school, I’m glad it’s my last year. My four years of tenure have been filled with nothing but drama, and hopefully, I'll be moving on to bigger and better things once I sail off to college.

  I will miss Silver Lake Falls, though. Silver Lake is a small, bustling town in the northwestern part of the country that has a booming economy, mainly due to the abundance of growth in its IT sector. Once a rich bedroom community, it is now becoming a place of economic power. In fewer than three years, the town's population had grown from ten thousand to well over twenty thousand before stabilizing and slowing down before growth exploded too much to take away the small town charm.

  It’s an amazing town.

  I like to think that after I graduate with a good degree, I'll come back home to Silver Lake Falls and live out my life here well into old age. After all, I love it here. Nothing can beat a small town community where everyone knows each other and everyone comes together, even if there is the small town gossip and pettiness to deal with. But I won't settle down until I see what the world has to offer. I’ve never been anywhere else, and I need at least a taste of the real world before deciding what I want.

  I'm a bit early, as usual, and I see the other early birds milling about, some gathered around their favorite hangout spots, talking and goofing around. I see mostly familiar faces and a few new ones, but I'm surprised to see how much people are staring at me. Mainly guys. Hot guys. The type of guys that would never look at me twice.

  Is there something wrong with my outfit? I wonder, pausing to look down at my skirt. I'd chosen the outfit before I left home because, one, it was new, and two, I thought I looked good in it. Not too slutty, but not too chaste. It makes my legs look long by riding the line on SLHS's dress code on skirt length, and the flare makes my waist look smaller than it is. I also have on a white blouse with a few pearl highlights, but it's nothing to get excited about.

  After a moment, I continue on. I can't find anything wrong with my outfit, and I have no idea why I’m all of a sudden getting so much heat, but I swear one guy's head almost turns like the exorcist to keep his eyes on me as I walk by. If he'd snapped around any harder, I think he would have broken his neck. Actually, I remember him, and I think the world might be a better place if he does break his neck.

  I ignore him and continue on my way through campus. I've almost made it to the building that contains my locker when I cross by The Fountain, a beautiful construction made of marble with an exquisitely crafted owl at the top that is surrounded by two of the main academic buildings and the cafeteria, completing a quad. The Fountain is Silver Lake High's most popular hangout spot and a place I often like to avoid because of the annoyance factor. I don't know why I'd walked right into it, but I suppose I hadn't been looking.

  Not surprisingly, a group of jocks are crowded around The Fountain, laughing and telling stupid jokes. They're practically a pack of wolves, an
d more than once, I've compared them to what Mr. Cashion showed us in tenth grade science when he'd pulled out National Geographic videos. I try to sneak past them with my head down, hoping no one will notice me. Fat chance. All they have the mental capacity to do is crack jokes and notice people.

  “God damn, Whitney!” A popular athlete named Cory Dunham exclaims as I walk by. Cory is one of the more competent ballers on the school's football team and is also one of the biggest manwhores on the planet. If you have a pulse and a vagina, he would come sniffing around at some point, I'm sure. “What have you been eating? You got thick as hell!”

  “Fuck yeah,” says Gabe Hackman, another douche jock who was just as much of a manwhore, biting his lip as if he's looking at a quarter pounder with cheese. “She's got an ass fatter than Kim Kardashian now. The good type, too.”

  I blush furiously, not sure how to respond. In a way, I feel insulted to be compared to a Kardashian, and in another, I’m flattered. But I can't figure out the sudden interest in me. None of these guys ever noticed me before, outside of insulting my appearance, and now, they’re practically drooling over me? Something must be in the air.

  Instead of engaging them, I continue on, ignoring their catcalls.

  “Hey!” Cory yells, waving with his arms. “Get your sexy ass back here!”

  Sexy ass? What is that guy smoking? I've never been accused of being sexy in my life. I'm the girl who disappears, remember, guys?

  I make it inside the school building and find my way to the locker hallways when what they were saying about me registers, and realization washes over me in a wave of awesomeness. It's the weight. I'd often been told by guys and girls alike that I was too skinny, so over the summer, I'd been a little more liberal when it came to eating. It's not like I went all out, but I also let go of my stupid fear of anything with carbs in it. I think my absolute favorite discovery, though, was pasta. Mom could make some mean spaghetti, especially when she paired it with a tomato and Italian sausage sauce.

  Who knew that stuffing my face with food would have resulted in my becoming more desirable?

  Walking through the hallways, I receive more stares and guys ogling me, but I ignore them and make it to my locker. It's new and a bit unsettling to get this much attention, and I'm not sure if this is all just some sort of fluke.

  I’m fumbling with my locker combination when I hear the sound of footsteps to my right, but I put my head down, hoping they'll not make another wisecrack. I've hit my limit this morning.

  “Hey, Chica,” a familiar, cheery voice chirps instead, and my mood lifts immediately. “Long time no see.”

  I look up into the smiling face of my childhood best friend, Danielle Vaughn, and crack a huge grin. She looks cute today with her two blonde side ponytails and red skirt topped by a white blouse. Her legs are long and sexy, and the red heels she’s wearing only further accent them. I’m happy to see her since I haven't seen her all summer due to her family vacation.

  Before I can respond, her eyes widen, her mouth dropping open in surprised admiration. “Good God, did you inflate those things or something?” she demands, staring at my chest. “Stuffed your bra with golf balls?”

  I glance down at my breasts and then let out a laugh. “No,” I say. "Besides, golf balls? I'd hoped for at least oranges."

  “Then what the hell happened to you?”

  “I don't know. I just filled out a bit I guess. That, and I ate what I wanted for once.”

  Danielle bites her lower lip, looking my body up and down. “Well shit, girl, put me on that diet then. You're smokin'!”

  I giggle again at Dani's exaggeration. The girl can always crack me up.

  “And I'll take that ripe ass while you’re at it,” she adds, smacking me on the butt. “Damn, it even wiggles now.”

  I laugh harder and smooth out my skirt where Dani has rumpled it. “Girl, please.”

  “Seriously. You've gotten so curvy, you could give Kate Upton a run for her money.”

  “Okay, now you need to stop.”

  Dani whips her tails, and I swear if the idiots in Hollywood ever want to make a young Harley Quinn movie, I know exactly who they should cast. Dani even knows who that character is—she introduced her to me. “I’m not lying to you.”

  I stop fiddling with my locker and glance around. I see several guys looking our way. One of them even grins at me. “Well, you know what? Ever since I walked on campus, I've received non-stop stares from all the guys,” I tell her. “Isn't that just weird? I couldn't even get one to look at me, then I go away for the summer, and now the whole athletic department wants me? I walked by the Fountain coming in, and I thought I was going to start a riot.”

  Dani shakes her head again. “Girl, I'm telling you. You were a stick figure when I last saw you, and now, you actually have some curves. And they're in all the right places.”

  “Thanks,” I say. “I think.”

  Dani grins at me. “Trust me, this year . . . you'll get laid, that's for sure.”

  “So how was your trip to Italy?” I say, quick to change the subject. The last thing I want to think about is having pre-marital sex. Mom is overly religious, and that's one of the things she never shuts the hell up about. When my boobs started to get bigger, she even made a comment that she could 'see my dirty pillows' before half-smiling at the joke. I hadn't laughed.

  Dani's grin twists into a sour expression. “It was alright . . . I guess.”

  “What do you mean, you guess? You've been wanting to go to Italy since our sweet sixteen birthday parties. You talked so much about Michelangelo's David last year that I thought you were gonna hump the thing when you finally saw it in person.”

  “Well, I had fun and all, but our parents made me room with Joseph.”

  Joseph is Dani's brother and is actually pretty cute and sweet. He's a sophomore this year and is probably hanging out in the quad with his buddies. Like I say, he's nice. He just isn't my type.

  “So what was so bad about that?” I ask. “I thought you loved your brother.”

  “I do! But I don't love his farts.”

  “Dani!” I protest, trying not to laugh too hard.

  Dani scowls, her mouth drawing down into a little point. “Sorry. I can't help it. He was cutting those stinky things like he was slicing Swiss cheese. Or maybe aged Parmesan, considering where we were.”

  I gag. I can't help it. “Okay. Stop. Now.”

  Dani lets out a laugh. “It's so frickin’ easy to gross you out.”

  “Which is why you should show some restraint and not do it.”

  Dani grins. “Never.” She starts to finger her blond locks then stops. “So I've been thinking, Whit.”

  Oh boy. It was never good when Dani thought about anything. Did I mention she'd make a good young Harley Quinn? Brilliant and crazy—that's Dani Vaughn.

  “About?” I ask wearily.

  “I got an idea while I was in Italy.”

  Even worse.

  “Huh?”

  “You know how you made that offhand comment about wanting to join the cheerleading squad last semester?”

  “Uh . . . yeah?” I remember. I said it mainly because I'd been so hard up for a date that I'd been desperate to try anything, including flipping around in a short skirt in order to catch some attention from the type of guys I like. I can't help it. While their attitudes and behavior are disgusting, the image of a strong jock sends tingles through my skin.

  “And have you been practicing the moves I showed you, like you promised?”

  I nod. I don't say it, but I suspect that all those tumbling moves had been part of the reason my new weight has gone on in a good way and not a bad one. “I didn't have much else to do besides eat and look up the colleges I want to apply to.”

  Dani looks pleased and says, “Well, I wanted to officially invite you to try out.”

  I drop my jaw. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah, why not? You're my best friend and this is our last school year together. W
hy not experience something you haven't done before and make the most of it?”

  It's hard to close my mouth. I can't believe Dani is asking me to join the cheerleading squad since she always calls me clumsy as hell—and with good reason. I've spent years being all errant elbows and hip bones, and now she's asking me to do cheerleading?

  “When are tryouts?” I finally manage. Dani can't be denied.

  “Today after school, between the football field and the band practice area. And don't you dare think about saying no.”

  I pause for a moment, thinking it over. Besides going out there and doing something clumsy and embarrassing Dani in front of the squad, I can’t think of one good reason not to go and at least give it a try.

  What do I have to lose? I think to myself. The worst that can happen is I do awfully and they reject me.

  Usually, rejection terrifies me, but all the positive reaction I've gotten this morning has me feeling cheery and willing to try anything. I'd been practicing the moves Dani had taught me all summer, so I wouldn't exactly be going in as a total noob. Heck, I might even go out there and show up Dani once or twice, and I think she’s an awesome cheerleader.

  “Don't make me have to drag your new bubble butt ass out on the field,” jokes Dani, mistaking my silence as resistance. "And if you say you don't have any clothes to wear, I will stuff you in one of those nasty ass PE uniforms Coach Roberts lends out to the kids who forget to bring theirs from home. Don't worry about the t-shirt. You can use a team one, but you’d better have some exercise clothes."

  I chuckle and reply, “I'll drag it out there myself, thank you very much. And I've got something to wear. I think.”

  Chapter 2

  Troy