“Yes, that one!” said Sugar.
“Drives the silver pickup truck?”
“Same one,” said Sugar.
“Lactose intolerant?” asked Hammer.
“Did not know that,” said Sugar.
“YES. THE SAME ONE!” shrieked Zippy. “How many Barbaras do you know??” A long, steady whistle leaked out of his face.
“Well, if you’re sure that’s the Barbara you mean, I can confirm she has not been in the basement today.“
“Thanks, kid,” said Sugar, tossing the mouse a strawberry. “Hold it, Hammer. One more thing . . . you didn’t see a bear down there, did you?”
“A bear?” asked Hammer.
“Yeah, you know, a bear . . . ,” replied Sugar. “Possibly without a head.”
“Big, grumbly, kind of brown thing?” asked Hammer.
“That’s the one,” said Sugar.
“Sharp teeth, long claws?” asked Hammer.
“Bingo,” said Sugar.
“Lives in the woods and never ever in anybody’s basement?” added Dirt.
“Nope, no bears,” said Hammer. “With or without a head.”
“Shocking,” said Dirt.
“Another thing,” said Sugar. “Do the words ‘Ra-BUM! Ra-BUM! Ra-BUM!’ mean anything to you?”
“ ‘Ra-BUM! Ra-BUM! Ra-BUM!’?” repeated Hammer.
“Yes, ‘Ra-BUM! Ra-BUM! Ra-BUM!’ ” repeated Sugar.
“Like the sound of a drum?” asked Hammer.
“Not at all,” answered Sugar. “The sound of a drum is boom-bap-bap. Boom bap-bap.”
“Well, I thought I heard a rat-a-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat,” said Hammer. “But that doesn’t sound like what you’re looking for here.”
“Rat-a-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat? You’re sure?” pressed Sugar. “Not ‘Ra-BUM! Ra-BUM! Ra-BUM!’??”
“I’m sure,” said Hammer.
“Thanks, Hammer,” said Sugar. “See you around, kid.”
“You got it, Sugar,” said Hammer before she disappeared under the stove.
“Okay, now we know for sure that Barbara’s truck is still here, the basement is clear, nobody is upstairs, and Dangerous Danny could really use a healthy breakfast,” said Sugar.
“How do we know all that?” asked Dirt.
“The birds confirmed that the truck was in the driveway and they looked in all the windows upstairs,” said Sugar.
“When did they confirm that?” asked Dirt.
“Two minutes ago,” said Sugar. “Didn’t you hear the birds chirping outside?”
“Yes, but I hear that all the time,” said Sweetie.
“What did you think they were doing . . . singing about sunshine and daisies?” Zippy chuckled.
“Um, well, sort of,” said Poppy.
“That’s sweet, kid. Really sweet,” said Sugar. “They also told me the mail was coming.”
“Which leaves us with one important question we need to answer,” said Sweetie. “If three birds are chirping and Hammer is back in the basement, on which side of the street will the mail truck park?”
“Is that a division question?” asked Dirt.
“My head hurts,” said Sweetie.
“North side,” said Sugar, leaning her head toward the open window. “Confirmed.”
“I didn’t hear anything!” said Dirt.
“Do you think the bees out there were just randomly buzzing around, sipping nectar, and making honey?”
“Um, well, yes,” said Dirt. “Sort of.”
“You’re not listening, kid,” said Sugar. “You’re not listening.”
Chapter 4
The squad followed Zippy out the back door and then settled under the mail truck parked at the curb.
“Fill ’em in, Zippy,” said Sugar.
“This truck is going to take us half a mile closer to town,” explained Zippy. “Nancy Lee has been on the route for the past nine years. She parks the truck, then walks east for a quarter of a mile. At the last house, three blocks down, she turns around, crosses the street and delivers the mail on the other side of the street, headed back to the truck. When she gets here, she’s going to roll up the back door and drive one half mile, where she will begin deliveries again. . . .”
“So all we have to do is figure out how many houses there are in a quarter of five tomatoes,” suggested Sweetie. “Then divide that by how many houses there are on the north side of the street, and that will tell us approximately how long before she gets back. AND SHOW YOUR WORK!” Sweetie was breathing hard.
“It’s okay, Sweetie,” said Dirt. “You’re going to be just fine.”
“That’s one way,” said Sugar. “Or we could just look right at her. She’s fifteen feet away.”
“When Nancy gets back to the truck,” explained Zippy, “she’s going to slide the rear panel up, and we’re going to jump in.”
“Isn’t she going to notice three chickens, a hamster, and a rainbow ball of yarn hopping into the back of the truck?” said Dirt.
“Not if she’s distracted,” answered Zippy as Nancy Lee’s dark shoes appeared just inches from the back tire. Zippy and the squad held their breath as Nancy rolled the back door open.
“Distracted by what?” whispered Poppy.
Just then Nancy Lee screamed and dropped her mailbag as half a dozen bees did a choreographed flyby very close to her head.
“GO, squad. Go!” said Sugar.
Zippy and the squad hurried out from under the truck and hopped into the open back, taking cover behind a white plastic mail bin. The bees flew away, and the back door rolled down.
“I don’t feel good about that,” said Dirt. “She could have gotten hurt.”
“Male honeybees, no stingers,” explained Sugar. “Purely for show!”
One minute later, Zippy and the squad lurched forward as the truck came to a sudden stop.
“Get ready to jump when the door opens,” announced Sugar.
“Won’t she notice three chickens, a ball of rainbow yarn, and a hamster hopping out of the open door?” asked Dirt.
“Doubt it,” said Sugar as the back door rolled open.
“MEOW MEOW MEOW,” said an orange-and-white–striped cat with sparkling green eyes.
“Well, aren’t you a beautiful little kitty!” said Nancy, turning away from the open door.
Zippy and the squad took cover behind the rear tire and, when the coast was clear, followed Zippy’s lead to the rhododendron bush at the entrance to a small park. When they turned around, the cat was right behind them.
“Knuckles!” said Sugar. “Been a long time. You look good.”
Chapter 5
“A little bird told me you were on your way,” answered Knuckles, reaching out for the Sweetie ball of yarn and rolling it back and forth between her two front paws while the birds chirped overhead.
“For starters, you can roll that ball of chicken over to Zippy,” said Sugar.
Knuckles obliged.
“We’re looking for someone,” said Sugar. “Wondering if you happened to see Barbara come by the park this morning.”
“Your Barbara?” replied Knuckles.
“Yes,” said Dirt.
“The Barbara in your house?” asked Knuckles. “The one who feeds you and takes care of you?”
“Yes,” said Poppy.
“Tall lady? Brown hair? Pretty blue eyes? Smells like gardenias?” asked Knuckles.
“Bingo,” said Sugar.
“Drives the silver pickup truck?” asked Knuckles.
“Same one,” said Sugar.
“Lactose intolerant?” asked Knuckles.
“Apparently so,” said Sugar.
“Has a sister in Buffalo?” asked Knuckles.
“Did not know that,” remarked Sugar.
“YES. THE SAME ONE!” shrieked Zippy. “How many Barbaras do you know?!” A long, steady whistle came out through his teeth.
“Well, if you’re sure that’s the Barbara you mean, I can confirm she has no
t been in the park today.”
“Thanks, Knuckles,” said Sugar.
“Did you happen to see anything . . . out of the ordinary this morning?” asked Dirt.
“Well,” answered Knuckles, “those blue and white streamers on the telephone pole aren’t usually there.”
“Interesting,” said Sugar. “Anything else?”
“Well, the park is empty this morning, and that’s unusual,” said Knuckles.
“You’re right. That is weird,” said Dirt. “It’s a beautiful Saturday morning, and there’s nobody in the park.”
“Wait a minute,” said Sugar. “Anna was up early this morning, Barbara isn’t where she’s supposed to be, we haven’t seen Mom or J. J., and there isn’t one kid in the park.”
Dirt rolled her eyes.
“Did you hear anything unusual?” asked Sugar. “Like a Ra-BUM! Ra-BUM! Ra-BUM!?”
“Nope,” said Knuckles.
“How about rat-a-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat?” asked Sugar.
“No,” said Knuckles. “But I did hear a Ba-Ba-rum, Ba-Ba-rum, Ba-ba-rum.”
“Not a Ra-BUM! Ra-BUM! Ra-BUM!?” asked Sugar.
“Nope, definitely not that,” answered Knuckles, walking away.
“Hey, Knuckles,” Sugar called after her. “You didn’t happen to see a headless bear in the park today, did you?”
“A headless bear?” replied Knuckles.
“Yes, a headless bear,” answered Sugar.
“Big, brown thing?” asked Knuckles.
“Yes,” Sugar answered.
“Long claws, kinda grumbly?” asked Knuckles.
“Yes,” answered Sugar.
“Lives in the woods and never ever in a local park?” added Dirt. “And almost always with a head.”
“Come to think of it,” said Knuckles, “I did see a headless bear in the park this morning.”
“You did?!” said Sugar.
“Yes,” said Knuckles.
“And that didn’t strike you as unusual?” asked Dirt.
“Come to think of it,” said Knuckles, “bears do usually have heads, don’t they?”
Chapter 6
“Clearly, there’s been a bear-related evacuation,” said Sugar. “Dangerous Danny mentioned a headless bear on the phone earlier, and Knuckles says she saw a headless bear in the park this morning.”
“I don’t know,” said Dirt. “It still doesn’t make any sense. Why would the whole town’s worth of people disappear because of one headless bear? I mean, is a bear without a head even dangerous?”
“What if there was more than one bear? And a sign that said BEWARE OF BEARS!?” asked Zippy. “Would that make more sense?”
“Yes,” said Dirt. “I think it would.”
“Turn around, kid,” said Zippy.
A giant blue-and-white sign stood on the front lawn of the tidy yellow house across the street:
BEWARE OF BEARS!
“Well, that explains everything!” exclaimed Sugar.
“It does?” asked Sweetie.
“The entire town has been evacuated because of bears,” said Sugar.
“Even if the town was evacuated because of a herd of headless bears, I am absolutely confident that neither Mom nor Barbara would leave us behind!” said Dirt.
“What about J. J.?” asked Poppy. “Would he leave us behind?”
“In a heartbeat, kid,” said Sugar. “In a heartbeat.”
“That can’t be right!” said Poppy.
“Here’s what I think,” said Sugar. “Early this morning, there was a headless bear sighting and the news spread quickly. That’s why Anna got up early and discovered Zippy wasn’t home.”
“Go on,” said Zippy.
“When Barbara heard about the headless bear, she rushed out to make sure we were okay. That’s why her schedule was off this morning. But then she spots the bear heading toward the chicken coop and jumps on it.”
“That seems . . . unlikely,” said Dirt as the birds chirped in the empty park.
“Let me finish,” said Sugar. “Mom hears the commotion outside the coop and runs out to find Barbara in trouble, so she runs over and pecks at the bear’s toes in order to save Barbara. The bear then runs after Mom.”
“OH NO!” squawked Sweetie.
“Let me finish!” said Sugar. “J. J. hears the commotion, so he jumps between Mom and the bear and does that scary growling thing that he does when we wake him up too early on Sundays. That’s when the bear calls for backup.”
“Bears have backup?” asked Sweetie.
“Everybody has backup,” said Sugar. “And a headless bear really, really needs backup.”
“So Barbara ran out to save us, Mom ran out to save Barbara, and J. J. ran out to save Mom?”
“Yes,” said Sugar. “That’s why we haven’t seen any of them yet this morning.”
“Well, I guess that kind of makes sense,” said Sweetie.
“So really, everybody is just making sure that we are safe?” asked Poppy.
“Yes,” said Sugar.
“Hey, does anyone else think the balloons seem out of place?” asked Dirt, noting the blue and white balloons tied to the BEWARE OF BEARS sign. “Or possibly inappropriate for an evacuation?”
“Dirt has a point,” said Zippy.
“So maybe we should think about this a little long—” said Dirt.
“What if instructions fell from the sky telling everyone to run because of grizzly bears? Would that make more sense?” asked Zippy.
“Yes,” said Dirt. “I think it would.”
Zippy handed Dirt a colorful flyer he picked up from the ground:
GO, GRIZZLIES!
“What more do you need??” cried Sugar. “They’ve left us instructions!!” She picked Dirt up and shoved her into the sweater ball, feetfirst. “You too!” Poppy jumped into the ball, and Sugar rolled it to the top of the steep hill at the crest of the street. “It’s our turn to save everyone from the headless bears! We are the town’s only hope, and we won’t let them down. Hang on, everyone. We’re going in!” Sugar held her wing up to Zippy. “Zippy, this is no job for a hamster. We’ll take it from here.”
“Got it,” said Zippy, waving good-bye with the flyer in his hand. “Knuckles will give me a lift back.”
“Wait!” cried Sweetie. “There’s more information on the back! You should always read all the instructions firrrrrsssstttttt!”
Sugar dove headfirst into the rainbow yarn, and the ball rolled downhill, heading right toward Main Street.
Chapter 7
The Chicken Squad rainbow ball came to a stop in a patch of overgrown grass in front of the post office. Sugar, Dirt, and Poppy scrambled out of the ball and onto their feet.
“We’re definitely in the right place,” said Sugar.
“How do you know?” asked Poppy.
“That giant banner at the end of the block,” said Sugar.
WELCOME TO BEAR COUNTRY!
“I also hear that Ra-Ra-Bum noise, don’t you?” asked Sweetie from the yarn ball.
“Sounds more like a rat-a-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat, rat-a-tat-tat to me,” said Sugar.
“I’d describe it more like a Ba-Ba-rum! Ba-Ba-rum! Ba-ba-rum!” added Dirt.
“Not Ra-Ra-Bum, Ra-Ra-Bum?” asked Sugar.
“It kind of has a nice beat!” said Poppy.
“I SEE BARBARA!!” Sweetie yelled suddenly. “AND THERE’S A BEAR RIGHT BEHIND HER!”
“Our Barbara?” asked Dirt.
“YES!” said Sweetie.
“The lady who takes care of us?” asked Sugar.
“YES!!” answered Sweetie.
“Tall lady? Brown hair? Blue eyes?” asked Poppy.
“YES, YES, YES!!!! Gardenia smell, lactose intolerant, Buffalo, etc.!!” yelled Sweetie. “And I see a bear!!!”
“ ‘Big, brown, snarly looking thing with claws’?” Sugar read from her notebook.
The squad turned to see a big, brown, snarly bear marching their way and
twirling a baton.
“Does anybody think the twirling seems out of place for a bear emergency?” asked Dirt.
“Isn’t it supposed to be headless?” asked Poppy.
“BARBARA!” Sweetie tied the loose end of her yarn ball to a telephone pole, took a running leap, and rolled herself right across the street. When she got to the other side, she pulled the yarn as tightly as she could as the enormous brown bear came closer and closer and closer. Sweetie pulled the yarn even tighter and
KERPLUNK!!
The bear went down.
“Ouch!!” cried the bear, quickly pulling off its own head.
“Ah,” said Sugar, looking at the giant bear costume head now lying on the ground. “That explains it.”
Ba-Ba-rum
Ba-Ba-rum
Ba-Ba-rum
Rat-a-tat-tat
Rat-a-tat-tat
Rat-a-tat-tat
Ra-Ra-BUM!
Ra-Ra-BUM!
Ra-Ra-BUM!
“Is it just me, or does that marching band seem out of place for an evacuation too?” asked Poppy.
Dirt picked a colorful flyer off the ground:
Go, Grizzlies!
Homecoming Parade!
9 a.m. Main Street
“Sweetie was right,” said Sugar. “We really should have read all those instructions before we started.”
“I’ve been trying to tell them all morning!” chirped a bird right above them.
“I know you have, Eunice,” said the second bird. “I know you have.”
Epilogue
Yep, four chickens, a missing hamster, and a ball of yarn brought the Grizzly Bears Homecoming Parade to a complete halt. The good news is the Grizzlies won the big game: 27–16. The bear mascot was fine too. She got up, brushed herself off, and put her head back on.
Turns out, Anna was supposed to get up early and feed the chickens for Barbara, who was picked up even earlier to put the finishing touches on the first responders float. But when Anna saw that Zippy was missing, well, she kind of forgot all about the chicken feed, and truth be told, forgot all about Zippy when she got to the parade and found the ice-cream truck. She was even more distracted when she saw Moosh on the petting zoo float.
Bear Country Page 2
