by Gill, Tamara
"Verry good. Victoria?" the duchess said again, pinning her daughter with a follow me look.
Albert watched them go, uncertain if the duchess had seen all that had transpired after their duet. She must have, or at least said she had heard the music but had intervened when she noticed their closeness.
Damn it, he did not want to get Victoria into a dispute, nor did he want them to leave early due to his carelessness.
He was so untutored in being a rake he did not even remember or think to close the music room door when they had entered.
Idiot.
* * *
Victoria closed the door to her mother's bedroom, steeling herself for the coming conversation, which she was sure would have something to do with the near-second-kiss between her and Albert.
Her mother walked over to the window and stared out over the grounds. "Please tell me that I did not almost walk in on you and Lord Melvin kissing just before?" Her mama turned to her, pinning her to the spot.
Victoria winced, wondering if she should lie or tell the truth and admit her mistake. The second one she was just about to make, not the first. Her mama did not need to know everything.
"You know that I am helping his lordship in gaining a wife. I was merely trying to help him navigate around a musical evening, how to woo a lady while helping her play the pianoforte. Be supportive of her as she plays. You caught us close, and I know what it must have looked like. But we were not going to do anything, Mama. Do not be so silly." So, it looked like she was going to lie to her parent. Better that, before they were bundled up in the carriage and returned to Dunsleigh before her instruction on Lord Melvin was complete. Or her finding out the truth of his life.
"If your brother had caught you, he would have demanded that you announce your betrothal. That is how it looked to me. Do not be forward, Victoria. After the dealings we've had settling your sisters, your marriage that I’m sure society will be discussing for years to come, so abominably did Mr. Armstrong behave, I do not think I could withstand another scandal. Please, if you are considering Lord Melvin as a lover, remain above reproach and ensure such trysts cannot be seen or come upon by anyone."
Guilt pricked her conscience, and she went to her mama, clasping her hands. "I promise, Mama I shall not do anything that will put me or the family name at risk. I am a friend of Lord Melvin's, that is all. With friendship comes a little intimacy, I find. I will not be caught in a compromising position." Victoria crossed her fingers behind her back, knowing that she would have to be extra careful after today.
What was worse was that she had done nothing but think about their shared kiss. Of his lips taking hers. What would happen if they did it again?
The sound of the luncheon gong echoed through the halls, and Victoria reached over and kissed her mama's cheeks. "I shall see you at lunch, Mama."
She fled the room, not entirely convinced her mother believed her words. But she would try, no matter how she responded to Lord Melvin when in his presence, to attempt to tame that part of her that wanted to push him a little. To see if he could be a rake with her as well to his preferred future bride. She would be a liar if she were to declare that a little flirtation with a handsome gentleman wasn't a lovely way to spend a day.
After lunch, she would seek Albert out for further lessons. There was under a fortnight to the country dance, and he wasn't yet ready. But he would be. She would make certain of it, even if she had to use herself as his prop for teaching.
Just as long as her mama never caught them again.
Chapter 14
Later that evening, Albert found Victoria alone in the library, a room he allowed guests, when he had them, that was, to use at their own leisure. It was not where he wrote, nor did it hold any identifying manuscripts that guests could see and link to him.
He frowned, thinking of the one page he had misplaced while at Dunsleigh. Had he left it on the desk in the library? The duchess knew that he had used the room. Surely she would know it belonged to him, but would she know what it was that he had left? That he could not say.
He strode into the room, pulling Victoria's consideration from the book she was bent over, a few wisps of her strawberry-blond hair covering her cheek. As he moved closer, he noticed that she not only had hair over her face but was chewing on the end of one curl.
His body hardened at the sight of her lips suckling on the golden lock. Oh dear God, she would kill him before he had a chance to use her instruction against a potential bride.
Not that he wanted anyone but her, but he was still to work on the particular issue. First, he had to learn to be a rake, and then he could use his skills to win her hand.
"Lady Victoria, what are you reading?"
Her eyes went wide, and she started on the settee, looking past him as if to ensure they were alone. "Shut the door and lock it, Lord Melvin. My mama does not know that I am up, she thought I went to bed an hour ago, but I did not. I snuck in here."
Albert did as she bade, coming back to the chair. "What is it that you're reading?" he asked again, sitting.
She lifted the book, and he felt the blood drain out of his face. She had found the erotic etchings his father had purchased on his grand tour after graduating from university. The very one’s he’d been reading for some months. For a moment, he could not speak. Did she think such drawings were his? The idea of such an assumption made his heart stop, and humiliation shriveled it up to a dried prune.
"How wonderful that you have this book. Look, the pictures in it are amazing, and I'm sure should you study them, you may learn the ways of a woman. Become a wonderful lover."
He cleared his throat, stupefied at the image she studied. A man and woman, entwined, but not head to head, it was head to toe, except they were not suckling each other's feet, but their genitals.
He'd seen the book, had looked at it before his first season, and had thought it marvelous, not that he'd had the ability to become rakish as the men in the book depicted.
"It was my father's. He's had it since he was a young man."
"What do you think they're doing here?" she asked, turning the book this way and that.
"Having sex without intercourse," he said bluntly. She looked at him, the light in her eyes curious, and he willed himself not to ask her if she'd like to do such things with him. Had she never experimented with her husband? Possibly not, since the fool found comfort in everyone else’s bed except his wife.
Damn, he would adore to have her so.
He ought to study the book more and learn the way of a woman's body and know what to do with his mouth and cock when the time came. The idea of leaving a woman unsatisfied was almost as bad as not knowing his own name.
She turned the page, and the image made her gasp, a sweet sound that went directly to his throbbing cock. The man, this time, was going down on a woman, her legs spread wide, her face contorted into a vision of pleasure. Her arms clenching the bedding, maddening even to look at visually.
"Well, I say," she whispered, shifting a little on the settee. "What do you think the woman gets out of such interactions with her lover?"
Albert had taken himself in hand, knew pleasure, even if he had never found it with a woman. "She would climax from his kiss there. He would suckle and kiss her with his lips and tongue, bring her to a peak of pleasure that is one of life's greatest gifts."
"Married as I was, I still did not know any of this was possible." She stared at him, her tongue darting out to lick her lips. "Have you ever found such gratification in this way with a woman?"
He closed his eyes, willing himself for strength. "No."
She narrowed her eyes. "With yourself then?”
He nodded, unsure how much he should tell her. The conversation was already scandalous, and should her brother even hear of them speaking so, widow or not, they would be before a priest before the crack of dawn.
Which, in Albert's opinion, would not be so bad. As for Victoria, she would feel managed, pressured, and would hate
him for it. If she were to marry him, it had to be of her own fruition.
"Yes, it's possible for both men and women."
Her gasp of breath was just audible, and his stomach clenched, the need to taste her lips, suckle her mouth as much as he wanted to do such things to other parts of her body burned through him. As a man, surely it would not be so difficult to learn how to seduce a woman. He was comfortable with Victoria, hell, they had already shared a kiss, and that seemed as natural as breathing.
He wanted more of the same. But how to make her see that he was more than just a friend one could be honest and open with. The man for her, if only she would see him.
Victoria turned her attention back to the book, flipping the page over to a new drawing. Albert swallowed hard. The image was of a woman, on her knees and hands, the man thrusting into her from behind.
Again the woman's face was contorted into one of pleasure, the man's also, showing enjoyment.
"You cannot tell me that this is a position that a couple would partake in." Victoria studied the image, turning the book this way and that. "I do not think this would feel very enjoyable."
She was literally killing him. As a man who had never laid with a woman, to want one as much as he wanted Victoria and have her speak of sex, studying images of the act was torture.
His cock was erect, weeping, and damn it, he wanted her to touch him. He wanted to bend her over the settee where they now sat and take her in such a way until they both found release.
"From what I understand, that act is possible and enjoyable for both."
She glanced up at him, her eyes widened. "You speak as if you are unsure." She stared at him, her eyes narrowing. "Are you a virgin, Albert?"
Should he tell her the truth? Something told him that Victoria held the truth in high regard, and it would do him little favor if he were to lie to her. And there was no shame in being a virgin. If anything, he ought to pride himself on the fact that he hadn't squirted his seed all over London with abandonment.
"I am indeed a virgin. Does that shock you?"
She bit her lip yet again, and his attention snapped to her lips. They were so close on the settee he could feel the heat of her body, the sweet, flowery scent of her hair. He wanted to run his fingers through it. Hell, he wanted to do a lot of things. Kiss her soft, supple skin along her back while he took her just as the image before them depicted.
"No," she said, shaking her head. "I like it that you are."
Albert leaned forward, needing to taste her, wanting her with a need that surpassed the nervousness that usually accompanied him whenever he spoke to a woman. With Victoria, conversation, silence, everything was easier, and he wanted to kiss her again. Had since the moment their last one ended.
Chapter 15
Victoria wrenched herself out of the chair. The tome depicting numerous sexual positions thumped onto the Aubusson rug. She stepped back from both Albert and the book, needing space.
"I should probably return to my room. I shall see you at breakfast. Goodnight Albert."
He looked up at her with such longing, such need that her stomach fluttered and clenched with delicious expectation. When they had been discussing the book, her body had not been itself. A maddening thrum between her legs tortured her, a longing she'd never felt with Paul.
Strange ideas of him kissing her at the apex of her thighs, of holding his dark locks in her hands as he pleasured her would not abate.
He stood and bowed. "Goodnight, my lady." He bent down and picked up the book, always the gentleman. Not pushing her for what they both desired. And God help her, she wanted him to kiss her again. A fact that was utterly perplexing since she was determined to remain alone for the remainder of her life. Enjoy her inheritance, her widowhood, travel, and live.
But what is life without pleasure? a little voice teased.
She dipped into a quick curtsy and fled the room. Albert had said that a woman could give herself pleasure. Was he correct? Paul had never stated as much to her, but then when it came to her late husband, he often kept her in the dark.
Victoria could not make her room fast enough, and she locked the door to ensure privacy. What did he mean by that statement? She had never found much interest in herself before, not in that way at least.
She pulled the bedding back and climbed under the sheets, lying and staring up at the darkened ceiling. More research was needed on the subject before she could determine if that were true.
* * *
The following morning Victoria ordered a bath and sent her maid downstairs to press her morning gown for a second time. She locked the door and asked not to be disturbed, determined to learn her body more before she confronted Albert of his claim.
She slipped into the bath, sighing at that feel of the warm, fragrant water. Finding the cake of soap, Victoria washed, running it over her beasts. They were large, and she couldn't quite fit one in each hand. Men normally did take in her bust size, but she had always ignored the admiring glances. That was until Albert looked at her. What was it about the man that made her body question all her choices? Her plans for her future.
Her thumb and forefinger slid over her nipples. They peaked under the water, and she squeezed a little, imaging Albert's hand touching her so. Heat licked between her legs, and she lay her head back, closing her eyes.
For all his awkwardness, there had been none present last evening in the library. If she did not know him so very well, she would have imagined him a rake, seeking to seduce.
She slipped one hand over her flat stomach, soothing the need that thrummed between her legs. The thatch of curls tickled her fingers, and she touched herself there. But what was she supposed to do now?
Victoria frowned, placing her hands on the edge of the bath and tapping her fingers along its side. Annoyance ran through her that she felt as though she needed to do something, but what? All her interactions with Paul had been quick and in the dark. A lot of panting, on his behalf, a groan or two and then it was over. He certainly never fondled her with his hands or his mouth as the drawing she’d seen depicted.
Finishing her bath, she stood and dried herself, letting her maid back in to help her dress. She slid on the light muslin gown of mauve before starting downstairs, determined to find Lord Melvin and discuss this pleasure one could have without a bedpartner.
If she were to remain unmarried for the rest of her days, having satisfaction would be a boon she had to have.
* * *
Albert heard the determined strides of Victoria long before he caught sight of her. His heart stuttered at the vision she made, her mauve gown accentuating her delectable form, just made for petting and kissing. Her voluptuous bust that he wanted for himself, to suckle and feast upon.
How could she want to remain unmarried when he could make her life fulfilling and enjoyable if only she would allow herself to fall in love? Place her trust in another, but this time, a genuine gentleman such as he.
He was working in a small room at the back of the house that guests normally overlooked. It had used to be his mother's sewing room due to the large windows, but he had now taken it over as a smoking room, although he never partook in such activities. Preferring to sit and read or plot his books when the muse struck.
As it had this morning after last night with Victoria in the library. His next release would be much steamier than his last, and no doubt get the ladies' hearts fluttering and the men's cravats too tight.
"Here you are. I have been looking all over for you."
He smiled up at her, gesturing for her to sit. "Good morning, Victoria. I hope you slept well."
She closed the door, the snip of the lock loud in the room. His body tensed at the determination written across her features.
"No, I did not. I need to know what this pleasure is you speak of that a woman can find. I know this is utterly inappropriate, but nothing that I tried this morning brought me any such thing. Paul certainly did not arouse me in such a way so the idea of bringing
oneself to satisfaction is questionable. You must show me what you mean."
Albert choked on the tea he had been sipping. He coughed, bending forward to try to gain his breath and his senses.
"You want me to what?" he wheezed, trying to clear his lungs of his beverage.
"You need to show me pleasure that I can perform myself. I’m certain I’m doing something wrong."
He felt his mouth grow slack while his cock tightened. "You know that I cannot do that."
"I know no such thing," she said, raising a defiant brow. "I want you to touch me and show me. I’m not a virgin nor a debutante taking her first turn, need I remind you. I'm quite determined."
And frustrated if he could read her at all. How much had she petted herself upstairs to place herself in such a state? Much to his shame, he had gone to bed and taken himself in hand, imagined her atop him, riding him, taking her pleasure.
He'd never come so fast and hard in his life.
"And if we're caught, are you accepting of the consequences of us dallying with each other? It would mean marriage, Victoria. It would mean your life of independence would be over."
She paced before him, debating his words for several moments before turning back to look at him. "I'm willing to take that risk. And I imagine marriage to you may not be so very boring if you allow me to do what I want."
He barked out a laugh, but all the while knowing he'd do whatever she wanted if it meant that he could have her as his.
"Where do you wish to start?" The words slipped from his mouth. He could not be about to do this. It was scandalous behavior.
She came over to him, pulling him from his chair. He stared down at her, amazed that by merely being beside her his blood quickened.
"Wherever you wish, so long as I find release."
