by Gill, Tamara
"I would not care for that, no. I suppose it is why I rarely go to town."
"Do you not?" The lady studied him a moment. "Well, I suppose it is because you're always too busy scribbling in that book of yours."
Albert choked on his drink, looking about to see who had heard Lady Sophie. Penworth narrowed his eyes, and with terribly bad timing, Lady Victoria joined them.
"You are all looking like a jolly fun party over here. What are we discussing?"
"We were discussing why Lord Melvin does not attend town. I merely mentioned the books he's always scribbling in."
"Really?" Victoria said, her tone interested. "And what book is that, Lord Melvin?"
He shrugged, not willing to tell anyone, certainly Penworth and Lady Sophie, what book he was always scribbling in. How on earth Lady Sophie would know to say such a thing was beyond him. Had his staff been talking about him around the village? He did not care for such things, if that was the case, and would put a stop to it immediately.
"Father tells me he often sees you riding out to your hunting lodge. He has called on you a time or two there, but you've always had your head down at your desk, scribbling away, and so he has not disturbed you. Our property line, you see," Lady Sophie explained to Victoria and Penworth, "is very close to Lord Melvin's hunting lodge. Father often rides the boundaries, and that is when he noticed you, my lord. Please do not think he is stalking you, for he is not." She chuckled, a tinkling laugh that grated on Albert's nerves.
"How interesting." Victoria watched him a moment before she said, "And what makes your father suspect that it is a book that his lordship is scribbling away in?"
Lady Sophie shrugged, her attention shifting to other parts of the room and showing she was losing interest in the conversation. "Oh, he is merely guessing. Was it a book, my lord? Or merely a letter?"
Albert cleared his throat. "A letter. I should be so clever to write a book."
Victoria thought over the words a moment before she said, "Lord Melvin, now that the other guests are busy playing cards, I thought we should have some music and dancing. I will play the pianoforte if you like and Josh may dance with Miss Eberhardt who looks a little lonely over by the fire."
They all turned to look at the miss, only to see her fiddling with the bodice of her gown.
Albert cleared his throat. "Of course. A lively tune, if you please, Lady Victoria."
She dipped into a curtsy, heading over to the pianoforte. He watched as Penworth followed his sister and discussed something before crossing the room and asking Miss Eberhardt to dance. The young woman looked a little star-struck at having been asked to dance by a duke.
They danced for several minutes to a reel, and Albert found it wasn't so bad to be sociable, take part in the conversation, and listen to people's lives. He so often was stuck in his own little world that it was hard to step away from the lives he created and live in the one gifted to him.
Albert caught sight of Victoria while she played the pianoforte, her straight back, her smile at the dancers as she played. A proficient who did not need to look at the music sheets to know the notes. He hoped she had not listened too much into what Lady Sophie had said about his writing. That side of him was so personal, an element he hadn't shared with anyone. To tell Victoria of his writing persona, his books, he would need to be sure she was the woman to be his wife. No one other than his bride could know. It was part of the secrecy, the mystery of Elbert Retsek, the unknown. To be known, even by one person, was a serious undertaking and not to be taken lightly.
* * *
Victoria played a minuet and watched her brother lead Miss Eberhardt about the floor. The young woman looked half in love with her sibling already, and the dance had only just begun. Poor lass, she would not get all that she dreamed of regarding her brother. Her brother's constant glances at Lady Sophie told Victoria he had become a little spellbound by the woman’s beauty.
As for Albert, he seemed to be progressing well, certainly conversation between himself and Sophie hadn't stalled, not even when her idiot brother became mute and could not speak for a full five minutes after their initial introductions.
Josh had never acted like such a fool. Maybe he was in love.
She hummed to the music, her mama and the other guests present in the adjoining room playing cards, their laughter, and the murmuring sound of chatter notifying the night a success for Albert.
Pride rose in her at her accomplishment for his lordship. He was capable, and when prodded, willing to do his part as a peer of the realm, entertain and make pretty ladies blush.
Lady Sophie reached up to hold Lord Melvin's shoulder, and Victoria missed a key. She checked her position on the pianoforte and continued, hoping no one noticed her fumble.
The song continued for several more bars, and with each one, just as the music was lively, so too was Lady Sophie's exploits. Was she smiling up at Lord Melvin a little too brightly now? Why was he laughing?
The pit of her stomach twisted. She would not be jealous of Lord Melvin finding another to converse with and company to enjoy. He appreciated her companionship too, and he needed to find a wife. She had told him often enough that she would not marry again.
A little niggling doubt settled in her mind that she was jealous of Albert and Lady Sophie. That seeing them together had sparked discontent in her she hadn't thought would arise.
She didn't want him for herself. She had plans. Countries to visit, her inheritance to spend. A life to live without being made a fool of by a runaway husband. Didn't she?
The song came to an end, and she smiled at the short applause from the guests before making a hasty exit from the room. She swallowed hard, heading for the back of the house and the servant stairs, not wanting to come across any guests. She could not breathe, her corset too tight, her gown restricting.
A hand reached out and spun her about, just as she swiped at her cheeks, horrified that she was upset.
What was she so unsettled about? She was being a silly little ninny who needed to remember all that she wanted in life. It was certainly not the man gazing down at her with so much kindness in his dark-blue orbs that one could get lost in. Quite willingly, in fact.
"Let me go, Albert," she said, hating the whiney voice that had uttered those words.
He reached up, cradling her face with his hands, his thumbs wiping the tears from her cheeks. "What is wrong? You left as if the hounds of hell were nipping at your silk slippers."
"A megrim, that is all. I think I shall retire for the night."
He did not let her go. Victoria fought not to revel in the feel of him coming after her. The care that shone in his eyes and what he made her feel whenever she was around him. Bliss, amusement, safety, all of those things.
"I think we know each other well enough that you know I know when you're lying. Are you still angry with me after our disagreement?"
Victoria had all but forgotten their disagreement, but she nodded anyway, needing to get away. To calm her racing, jealous heart. For that was what she was. A jealous cur ready to scratch out the eyes of the beautiful, wealthy Lady Sophie, who looked more than pleased to be in Albert's arms.
"I am, and I need time to work through my displeasure with you. Please let me go."
He stepped back immediately, and she missed his touch almost as quickly. She closed her eyes, hating that she was a kaleidoscope of mixed emotions and needs.
"Of course," he uttered, his voice heavy with concern.
Victoria looked up and met his eyes, hating the pain she was causing him. He deserved better than her. Better than how she was in his arms when he touched her and made her yearn. To how she was acting now. Cold and aloof. Angry at him for making her feel too much when she’s sworn to never feel anything ever again. If one could not feel, one could not be hurt.
She turned about and fled to her room—a coward as well as an ass.
Chapter 25
At breakfast the following morning, Albert watched Victori
a fuss with her food while eating very little of what was on her plate. Her light-blue muslin gown was pressed so perfectly that not a crease dared mar the fabric. Her hair did not have one curl displaced. The little diamond earbobs on her ears taunted him. To Albert, she was a perfect gem, flawless in every way, noble, wealthy, and educated, and yet, he knew her intimately. She was the woman he wanted to marry, the woman he'd brought pleasure upon. He never wanted her to leave.
Victoria did not look at him. In fact, she did not take part in any of the conversations at breakfast. Merely pushed bits of scrambled egg around her plate. Was she making some face with it?
"I'm sorry for being late, but I must ask that we postpone any invitations or plans for the day. I have a terrible megrim, and I cannot understand as to why," the duchess said, sitting down at the table and requesting tea immediately from a footman.
Albert hid his grin behind his coffee cup, knowing only too well it may have been the overindulgence of champagne the duchess had imbibed the night before that made her so out of sorts today.
"Mayhap coffee would be better, Mother," the duke said, throwing a knowing smile at Albert before calling for a footman to pour coffee for the duchess.
He cleared his throat. "I do not believe we have anything planned today that cannot be altered, Your Grace."
Albert turned to Victoria, who continued to be uninterested in the conversation going on about her. "Lady Victoria, do you not agree?"
She looked at him then, and he fought the urge to go to her. She looked wretched. Was she, too, ill? Was there an illness in the household that he did not know about? Perhaps the duchess was not suffering the implications from too much wine.
"Pardon?" she asked, looking to her mama for clarification. "What do I agree to?"
The duchess grimaced. "That today, I think we should postpone any invitations or callers. I am not feeling the best, my dear."
"Oh." Her eyes widened, as if only now noticing her mama's paleness. "I will write to Miss Eberhardt immediately after breakfast and ask her to come tomorrow." Victoria placed down her fork, signaling she had finished her meal. "Would you like for me to keep you company today, Mama? I'm more than happy to."
Albert supposed if Victoria were going to be busy with nursing her parent, he would walk out to the hunting lodge and write for the day. He was still several pages behind on where he would like to be, and he had left his heroine in a most awkward predicament that he needed to write her out of.
"That is not necessary, darling. I shall feel better after a tisane and some peace and quiet."
Breakfast was a silent affair after the short conversation. Victoria sipped her tea, lost in her own contemplation. The duke declared he was off to the Camberley, and the duchess finished her tea and some toast before taking herself upstairs.
Albert sat at the table, trying to form the words to ask Victoria what was troubling her. He did not want to push her too quickly and frighten her off. For all he knew, he may have already scared her away after what they had done together. Not to mention their disagreement over her choosing women to throw at his head.
Last evening, she was upset after his dance with Lady Sophie, but Victoria did not want a husband. Was she fighting with her own convictions? Her own hopes and dreams?
"If you'll excuse me," she said, fleeing yet again from his presence. He stared at the empty door she had all but ran through and frowned, slumping back in his chair.
What on earth was he to do?
Albert pushed back his chair. He called for his cap and cane and started for the hunting lodge. His mind was a chaos of ideas and thoughts of fixing what was so obviously broken between them.
But then, maybe she did not want to fix the rift. Was this her way of leaving him, letting him move forward in life without her by his side? Without her guidance in his so-called quest to find a wife.
He whacked a flower on the field, sending the yellow bud flying across the ground. He didn't want any other woman but her. This whole wife charade had gone on long enough. He needed to tell her the truth of how he felt about her. That he wanted her and no one else, let her decide his fate as only she could.
She would either fall into his arms or leave him.
He ran a hand through his hair, at a loss, his stomach in knots. Damn, he hoped it was the former. He wasn't sure he could live if it were the latter.
* * *
Victoria stayed in her room for as long as she could before the four walls and furniture, no matter how prettily decorated, started to grate on her nerves. She rang the bell for her maid and ordered the horse Lord Melvin had allocated to her for their stay to be saddled for a ride.
Her fear was unfounded. For days she had been worried she cared for Albert more than she should. That she wanted him for herself, but she did not. There was too much in her future to look forward to, to be worrying about how her friend made her feel when in his arms.
He gave her pleasure. They had given each other pleasure, that was all. To be worried about satisfaction equating to deeper emotions was a silly thing to do. Women had lovers all the time in London. She knew of several widows who enjoyed the company of men after their husbands had died. No one was declaring themselves so in love that they wanted to marry again.
She could be like those women. Not in the sense that she would take many lovers, but that she would enjoy being with Lord Melvin while he remained unmarried.
Her maid entered the room just as she was picking up her whip, notifying her that her horse was saddled and waiting at the stables.
Victoria made her way out to the stables, dismissing the need for a groom. She cantered out of the yard, into the surrounding forest, and directly toward the hunting lodge.
Somehow she knew Albert would be there, scribbling away as Lady Sophie had said. Somewhere in that building, he hid his author persona, his manuscripts. If there were any deeper feelings between them, Albert would have disclosed that little secret. It had not been declared, and it only added another layer of fortification that she had been wrong to worry Lord Melvin felt more for her than she wanted him to.
That she felt more for him than she ought. Her jealousy had been because she did not want to share him at present. Not with anyone, not when he could give her so much satisfaction while she was a guest here.
But that was unfair to him and the lady who would eventually become his wife. She needed to be more immune to seeing him with others. After Albert married another, she would survive. Move forward and be happy in her life.
“I will,” she yelled aloud.
Victoria slowed her mount as she came close to the lodge. Smoke billowed out of the chimney, and she knew Albert was there. Wanting to see for herself if he were scribbling away in a book, she tied her horse to a tree a little away from the lodge and walked the rest of the distance.
Feeling like a thief in the night, she tiptoed up to the cottage, not wanting to make a sound. Albert did not come to the door, and she hoped that meant that he had not heard her. As slowly as she could, she peeked through the glass window and watched him for several minutes.
He was bent over his desk before the fire, his shirtsleeves rolled up, exposing his muscled forearms. His hand was indeed scribbling with a speed that told her he was far away in another world and telling of the tales there.
Her heart did a little flip that her Albert Kester, Marquess Melvin, had to be Elbert Retsek. Not that it mattered if he were not. But the page that she found and now this sneaking away at all times of the day and night to write seemed too much of a coincidence.
She bit her lip, wondering how she was going to bring up that conversation. She was a forthright person. Her best approach was probably direct and without delay.
He sat back, stretching, and she jumped back out of sight. She warred with herself to go inside, to break his concentration when he seemed so involved with his words.
But then she needed to speak to him, away from her mama and brother. Tell him that she had let him down last even
ing and that her slip in concentration would not happen again. That she would no longer throw women at his head unless he wanted an introduction. She was his friend and would be a help, not a hindrance, until the day she watched him marry.
Only, she could not make herself knock on the door. Instead, she stared at it for several minutes before slipping away. She would speak to him after the dance in Camberley. There was little point in doing it now when Albert was so close to moving forward with his life and without her in it to complicate matters further. Plus, he was busy with his work. All excuses she was willing to use if it meant postponing the inevitable.
Chapter 26
A few days later, the country dance at the local village was in full swing when their carriage rolled to a stop outside the hall's front door. Several other carriages lined the street. Other gentry of the area waiting for their turn to come to a stop before the double doors to the hall so they may disembark.
Her mama's attention was fixed outside the carriage window, watching the guests who strolled along the cobbled streets, mentioning the gowns and jewels, who had partners, and who walked with older chaperones. That several young ladies were wearing dresses from last year's belle assemble, which seemed to shock her mama so much so that she mentioned it several more times before it was their turn to alight.
"I'm sure if the young ladies had the opportunity, Mama, they would have ensured their dresses were up to London standard," Victoria drawled, one of the many things that vexed her when it came to the beau monde. How very vocal they were when one was so unfortunate to wear a dress from the previous season. "Do not forget we're in Hampshire. I'm sure they try to keep up with the latest fashions as best they can."
Albert, who was sitting beside Josh, grinned at her across the carriage. On the other hand, Josh looked less than pleased to have to wait their turn to exit.
"What is taking so long, do you think? Mayhap the hall is full, and they're turning people away."
