“We’re going to do our job,” Tholen said. “I’m going to do mine, and you are going to do yours. My job is to promote you, your job is to perform. You will be going on every single talk show and entertainment programme between New York and Los Angeles, and you will dress nicely and behave properly and you will play your songs, and if anyone ever asks you about anything you have done back home in the last couple of weeks, you will apologize and say that you have been young and stupid, but now you have grown up and learned from your mistakes, and all you want to do is delight people with your music. Simple as that.”
“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me.”
Tholen shook his head. “I’m not kidding at all. It’s the only reasonable way out of this mess. If you still want a career in music, then you will have to tone it down a notch. Stop the circus. Concentrate on what you’re good at: your music. Nobody likes rude, bratty, disrespectful, obnoxious know-it-alls who desecrate other people’s honour, ridicule their opinions and trample on their beliefs. Show respect, act responsibly. Grow up, act like adults. It’s not exactly rocket science, you know?”
Ginger and Michael rolled their eyes. If there’s one thing that teenagers don’t like then it’s being told to ‘grow up’. Even if it’s true, there is no way of telling teenagers that they’re young and stupid and that they know nothing about the harsh realities of life without sounding like a total prick. There are some things that you just don’t want to know about as a teenager. Like the fact that your parents had to have sex in order to conceive you. It may be the undeniable truth, but you’d rather not hear about it.
“Verily, I say unto you,” Julian said without looking up from his notebook, “unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
“Right on,” I agreed.
“Oh don’t give me any of that bible nonsense!” Tholen said. “The cameras are not rolling. You see, this is exactly the kind of annoying, self-righteous crap that pisses people off, and it has to stop.”
“Define ‘people’,” Julian challenged him.
“People as in: the people you talk to in interviews; the people who write about you in the papers and who report about you on TV. These people can make you and they can break you, and if you keep pissing them off they will break you.”
“I’m giving them exactly what they want,” Julian said.
“And what do you think that is?”
“They want a good story and good ratings. Unfortunately, most of these media people have become rather lackadaisical. They’re no longer hungry for a good story, because they’ve found out that they no longer need a good story in order to get good ratings. All they need is a celebrity putting on a silly hat and grinning into the camera, so why bother trying to have a meaningful conversation with them, a discussion about things that really matter? That’s way too troublesome.”
“Exactly my point,” Tholen said. “Nobody wants to hear that kind of meaningful, depressing stuff. People who turn on the telly want entertainment, not a lecture.”
“Lectures can be extremely entertaining, though. You just can’t keep feeding people bacon and then blame them for becoming fat and lazy and asking for more bacon. Give them bacon flavoured salad instead.”
“Bacon flavoured salad?” Tholen frowned. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
“My pretty face is the bacon flavour,” Julian said. “My message is the salad. Together they taste great and they’re healthy.”
Tholen rolled his eyes. “You’re way too full of yourself.”
“Can you blame me?”
“Anyway, this is not going to work.”
“Oh I don’t know,” Julian said. “It seems to be working quite well so far.”
“Not for me it isn’t.”
“Well excuse me,” Ginger said. “I’m terribly sorry for your hardship, but we’re not working for you. You are working for us. Or did I get this wrong?”
Tholen shook his head and sighed. “If anything, we ought to be working together towards a common goal.”
“And what goal would that be, mister? Your goal is to make tons of money off of us, and from what I can tell it’s working quite nicely for you as well. But that is not my goal. I never wanted to become the biggest star in the universe. None of us did. We were doing this for fun, just for shits and giggles, but as far as I’m concerned your bossiness and your complete disregard for what we want is completely taking the fun out of the equation.”
Tholen looked at Julian, Michael, and me. “Is that what you all think?”
None of us said a word, because we all knew that not all of us shared the same opinion on this. Michael was pretty much on Ginger’s side. Sure, we’d had a great time so far, but I was pretty sure he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life rushing from one stage to the next just to be screamed at by hordes or hysterical little girls. And Ginger sure as hell didn’t appreciate being kidnapped and taken to America without even being asked.
I, on the other hand, quite enjoyed being screamed at by little girls. I loved living the life of a rock star and, more importantly, spending a good amount of time away from me family. The last couple of weeks had been the best and most exciting weeks of me life, and I didn’t want it to stop.
And Julian? Well, Julian obviously loved all of this. He loved the attention, he loved the fact that everything he said, everything he did, provoked a reaction from people. He loved that people worshipped the ground he walked on while other people wished for him to rot in hell. He loved the fact that he was making a difference in people’s lives, and I think that annoyed the hell out of Michael, because Julian seemed to be completely ignoring the price some of us were paying for this.
“Can you give us a minute?” Julian finally asked.
“Tell you what,” Tholen said and got to his feet. “I’ll give you 300 minutes, because that’s when we’ll be touching down in New York. Use the time wisely and talk some sense into your friends, Julian. And then pick a song you want to play on Letterman tonight.”
It was a smart move by Tholen. He knew perfectly well that he wasn’t going to convince us of his great big plan, no matter what he was going to say. And he knew just as well that we’d have a hell of a hard time trying to convince Julian to let the opportunity to troll the biggest media market in the world slip through his bony fingers.
The Gospel According to Ginger – 10
“Okay,” Julian said when Tholen had disappeared in the front section of the plane and closed the door. “Which song do you guys think we should play on Letterman? I’m thinking maybe (R)evolution, or what about...”
“Whoa,” I interrupted him. “Slow down, pretty boy. Do you really want to let that sleazebag get away with this?”
“Get away with what?”
“Julian, I don’t know if you have noticed it, but we have just been kidnapped. He’s dragging us across the Atlantic against our will just to put us on TV like a bunch of circus monkeys. Surely you can’t be okay with that.”
“Come on, Ginger,” Julian said. “He’s not kidnapping us. He has booked us on some of the biggest TV shows in the world. He’s our manager. It’s his job!”
“No offense, Jules,” Michael said, “but I have to disagree. It’s his job to book us on jobs that we want to do, and not to force us to do things that he wants us to do. I mean, if he’s working for us he’s supposed to talk these things through with us and not just do things nobody ever asked him to do. This is not how it’s supposed to work.”
Julian gave him a quizzing look. “If he had asked us beforehand, is there any chance you would have said yes?”
“Of course not! Why on earth would I say yes to a crazy idea like that? What do we want in America? We have no business in America!”
“We have tens of thousands of fans in America.”
“And we have hundreds of thousands in Europe. Don’t you think we’re busy enough as it is at the moment?”
“He
’s right, Julian,” I said. “I think we need to slow it down a bit. The last couple of weeks have been a real strain, on all of us. If we go to America now, then I’m afraid we’re biting off more than we can chew.”
Julian leaned forward and looked at us, the passion burning in his eyes like hellfire. “But we’re on such a roll! If we stop now we’ll lose momentum, and everything we did in the last couple of weeks will have been for nothing. Don’t you guys see what a great opportunity this is?”
“An opportunity for what?” Michael asked.
“An opportunity to change the world; to regain control.”
I frowned. “Regain control?”
Julian nodded. “Take it away from the powers that be; take it away from the bankers and lawyers and politicians and give it back to the people so we can build something new, something better. They tried to make the world their way, and see where it got us. Let’s try to make the world our way. Our world is not out there but in here.” He tipped his head. “Our world is sophisticated enough to take on their world. We have the same right to pick the battlefield and to choose our weapons as they do. But we have one big advantage. We grew up in this world. They didn’t. They build this world, but they have no idea how it works. We do. This is our first home game. We can’t lose. Not with the crowd on our side.”
“That will very much depend on the crowd,” I said. “You’re making the whole world watch you.”
Julian shook his head. “They’re not watching me. They’re watching themselves through me. I’m just saying things that go through people’s minds.”
“Okay, so they’re watching themselves, but they’re not watching themselves through you but through all of us. I’m not sure if I want that.”
“Want what?”
“I’m not sure if I want to be a role model for the youth of the world.”
“Why wouldn’t you?” Julian asked. “Why would anyone not want to be a role model?”
I said, “Because not everyone is as perfect as you are, Jules.”
He looked me in the eyes. “You’re just scared. You’re afraid of being inadequate. Nobody expects you to be perfect, because nobody is. Even if you’re not perfect, especially if you’re not perfect, you can be a great role model by accepting and embracing your faults and flaws and being open about them. But you’re scared to take that responsibility. That’s okay. Everybody’s scared. But being scared should never be a reason not to do the right thing. Face your fears instead of running away from them. Just look at the world, look at history. Caesar, Genghis Khan, Napoleon, Hitler, and a thousand other people have tried to conquer the world. They all failed because they tried to conquer it through violence and fear. For the first time in history we have the chance to turn the world into one big kingdom of freedom, happiness, and prosperity, and do it in a peaceful way.”
“Jesus!” Tummy said.
“Exactly! We have the chance to continue Jesus’s work. We have the chance to succeed where he failed.”
Michael rolled his eyes. “Do you ever listen to yourself, Jules? You sound like a megalomaniacal madman, and it scares the shit out of me. Where is this even coming from?”
“It’s coming from here,” Julian said and put his hand on his heart.
“Jesus Christ!” Tummy uttered again, and he was beginning to get on my nerves.
“Would you stop saying that?” I turned to Julian. “I’m going to be very honest with you, Jules. I don’t think people are ready for your idea of freedom and happiness. Jesus’s teachings have been around for 2000 years, and look at the world today. It’s a bloody mess. It all sounds very nice, I’ll give you that, but even most diehard Christians don’t love their neighbours, turn the other cheek, or give all their money to charity.”
“But that is exactly my point!” Julian said. “They’re calling themselves Christians, but they’re not acting like it. Everybody is preaching water and drinking wine, and I think people need to be called out on that. Somebody needs to show people what Christianity without all the bigotry and hypocrisy looks like.”
“Look,” I said, “I’m sure Christianity works great in a perfect world full of perfect people, but you said it yourself: nobody’s that perfect. Walking in Jesus’s footsteps and trying to continue his work is very noble and all, but they will not let you do this. They will crucify you. Not literally, but it will be just as painful. Don’t do this to yourself. You deserve better.”
“The world deserves better,” Julian said. “I want to make the world a better place. How could this be wrong?”
“There is nothing wrong with defending your opinion and standing up for your beliefs,” Michael said. “But why do you have to turn it into a bloody crusade?”
“It’s not a crusade.”
“Oh is it not? Do you ever listen to yourself? Do you ever look at the way you come across on TV? There’s a fine line between being enthusiastic about something and being barking mad. Look, Jules, what I see in the media is not you. It’s not the Julian I know. I mean, I stand next to you in a TV studio and I see who you are and what you do, but when I watch the same scene back on the telly the next day, it’s almost as if I’d never seen you before. When I see you on TV, it’s as if I didn’t know you at all, and I’m not sure if I’d even want to know you.”
“But it’s me. Hello? It’s me, Julian.” He put on a silly grin but it wasn’t convincing. We all knew him well enough to see that deep down inside he wasn’t grinning. He was hurting.
“I guess what Michael is trying to say,” I said, “is that you have changed a lot in the last couple of weeks, and ...”
Julian vehemently shook his head. “What are you talking about? I haven’t changed at all.”
“You know what,” Michael said, “I believe you. I believe you when you say that you haven’t changed, or rather that you think you haven’t changed. It’s our situation that has changed. We’ve never had that kind of public attention before. The media, the fans, the scrutiny, the instant feedback on everything we say or do, we didn’t have that before, so maybe that’s why we’ve never seen you react to it. But you have changed. It has changed you. It has changed all of us. I mean, just look at Tummy. He’s bursting with confidence. When did that happen? It happened in the last couple of weeks. You’ve never seen him at school like that, have you?”
“But that’s a good thing, though, isn’t it?” Julian said.
“In Tummy’s case it might be,” Michael said, “and nobody could be happier to see him flourish like that than I am. But we all react differently to this situation. It has changed me too, and in ways that I’m not entirely happy about. I’m not comfortable with all this media attention at all. It makes me paranoid. I hardly want to go outside anymore, because there are always people, always cameras. Not only media people. Fans have cameras too. I was going for a jog in the park the other day, and a few hours later I found a video of it on YouTube and people were discussing my bloody running style! I don’t want that kind of attention.”
“Oh my god, so that’s what it is.” Julian slumped back in his seat. “You’re jealous!”
“What?”
“You’re jealous. You hate the attention because it disrupts your cosy little life where you never get to leave your bunker. You’re jealous because you suddenly have to share your life and your friends with the rest of the world.”
“Come on now, Julian,” Michael said with a trembling voice, “that’s just ridiculous. I’m not jealous.”
“I think the problem is,” I said, “that it all went so fast. It’s been only six weeks since the school anniversary. Our lives have been turned upside down and inside out, and we simply didn’t have the time to adjust. I’m not saying it can’t be done. Of course it can. One can get used to everything. But it takes time, and it may take different people different amounts of time. I think what we need to do is take a step back and take it all in, and I don’t think we can do that if we spend the next three weeks on the road hopping from one TV show t
o the next.”
“So what are you saying?” Julian asked, staring out of the window.
“I’m saying we probably should take a break and go home.”
“I see.” He looked at Michael. “Michael?”
He shook his head. “Sorry, Jules, but this isn’t working for me.”
“Tummy?”
Tummy was wriggling in his seat. “Uh, guys, sorry, but I’m a bit slow. What exactly am I voting on right now? Are we just talking about this America trip or are we talking about the end of the band?”
“No!” I frowned. “I mean, if we were ever to consider the end of Puerity we shouldn’t do it on board an airplane, all tired and cranky after a night in jail. That’s my whole point. I just want to take a break so we can think things through and sort it all out. So yeah, we’re talking about a break, not a break-up, right?”
I looked at Michael, waiting for some kind of affirmation that never came.
“Jolly good,” Tummy said, “because I sure as hell love what we’re doing and I don’t want it to end. Having said that, I don’t think we should pull this America thing through, at least not right now. Because there are two people here who are clearly not happy with this. And if we make them do it against their will,” he looked at Julian, “then none of us will enjoy this trip, because everybody will be cranky and in a foul mood all the time. I don’t want that, because I know you. I know all of you well enough to know that if we get on each other’s tits long enough, we’re all bound to say or do something incredibly stupid. Sooner or later someone’s going to snap and quit the band for good. I don’t want that. And that’s why I’m going to have to agree with Ginger and Michael on this one. We should take a break. Calm down, get a couple of good nights’ sleep and sort things out.”
Michael raised an eyebrow at me. I nodded back at him, silently acknowledging my surprise at how much sense Tummy was able to make when he wasn’t being loud and obnoxious.
Meanwhile, Julian was sitting in his seat, again staring out of the window at the clouds below. After a while he got up and started walking towards the front of the plane.
Idolism Page 19
