Aderyn’s hand dropped to her knee. “What are you talking about?”
Bex filled them in on her breakup with Gabe, and on the fact that she’d dumped him ten minutes before the biggest event of his life, in case they were wondering how heartless she could be. How bad of an idea it would be to give her someone else to love who she’d be sure to sweep up in the ruin of her curse.
“And the worst part,” she said, setting her beer on the edge of the coffee table, “is I’m not even sick after all.” The doctor’s call had come in this afternoon, a reassurance that the lab results were okay the second time around. All her blood cell counts looked normal, and she was on the mend. Doctor Yamato had prescribed a healthy dose of bed rest, which Bex had studiously ignored.
It had been seven miserable days after her blood draw. Seven agonizing days after losing Gabe.
No, she thought bitterly. Not losing him. Pushing him away.
Aderyn and Sam exchanged a look. “I’m sorry, being healthy is the bad part?” Sam asked.
Bex waved her hands in the air, her voice pitched high and desperate. “This was all for nothing. But even if I hadn’t freaked out on Gabe, sooner or later I was still going to hurt him. Just because these results came in clear doesn’t mean I’m not going to get sick again, for real, in the future. I’m still predisposed to cancer.”
Aderyn set down her beer and gave her a long look. “We’ve talked about this. Do you think I stopped loving your brother just because he got cancer?”
Bex shot a guilty glance at Sam. “No.”
“So why would Gabe stop loving you?”
“He wouldn’t,” Bex said. She knew that much was true. Gabe’s affection was a forever kind of love. “But it’s not fair to him to be with me. I’m only going to pull him down.”
Now Aderyn got angry, her tiny shoulders stiff and high around her ears. “Sam is worthy of my love, whether he’s sick or not. And I’m just as worthy of receiving the love that he gives me.” Her eyes narrowed, and her face flushed. “And fuck, yes, it’s terrifying to think about losing him. But I can’t focus on that. I just want to celebrate each good moment. That’s what Gabe wants to do with you. You need to give him a chance. It’s his choice to assume whatever risk he wants.”
Sam reached for his wife’s hands and spoke quietly. “Maybe it was selfish of me to keep loving Aderyn, even when I was going through the worst of things. But if it was selfish, it went both ways. Dare was just as selfish in loving me. We partnered up, Bex, and loving each other was an agreement we made. Good and bad. You sign up for it all.”
That’s what Gabe had said, hadn’t he? We’re partners, Bex.
But she’d treated this whole thing like a solo affair. It’s what she’d always done.
“What I’m trying to say,” Sam said, “is you are a good, strong person with so much love to give.” He looked at his wife, who smiled back with tears in her eyes. “Go home and decide what you want to do. The godmother offer still stands. Just remember that your ability to love isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength. Figure out your shit, Bex, and we’ll be here when you’re ready to talk.”
Bex faltered in the lobby of the Trailblazer Gallery, a piece of the gallery letterhead clutched in her hands. She’d read the note enough times that the paper was starting to rip along the creases, and the ink that spelled out her name had gone blurry from where her tears had dropped onto the paper.
She knew without looking that Gabe’s handwriting slashed across the stationery, slightly tilted down the page. You’re still invited. After all, you’re the star. Please come.
But she wasn’t anyone’s star. Didn’t he know that?
The invitation to the show had slipped into Bex’s mail this morning after Sam and Aderyn had asked her to be Weston’s godmother last night. It arrived alongside a UPS package addressed to Weston, and inside the box was a book of random facts. From Gabe, with love, it said on the inside cover. Because, of course, she needed another reason to cry.
“I don’t know if I can do this, Emma.”
Her friend squeezed her elbow. “That’s why I’m here for moral support. Anyway, it’s the last day of the show. It’s now or never.”
Bex took a deep breath. “What if I freak out? I mean, more than normal.”
Emma smiled, and Bex groaned. “Wait, are you going to remind me that that’s a normal thing too?” Bex asked.
Emma’s grin widened. “Nailed it. Just remember that you are a badass. You make so many people in your life and in your job happy on a regular basis. You are a fucking rockstar, pun intended.”
Bex gave a heavy sigh. “But what if we go inside and I lose my shit?”
Emma lanced her with a look. “Honey, you’ve already lost your shit. We’re here to collect it. Make you a nice little poo pile.”
Bex groaned. “You did not just compare my life to a poo pile.”
Emma shrugged. “You started it. I was just continuing the analogy.” Her face softened. “Come on. I’ll even hold your hand.”
“Fine,” Bex said. “I mean, if we’re already having the worst day ever, why not finish me off?”
They stepped through the doors of the gallery, and goosebumps rose on her skin.
Emma’s voice came out in a little puff of air. “Oh my god, Bex.”
“I know.”
Pictures of Bex filled the whole room—her at sunrise out in the desert, her in bed, laughing at something Gabe had said.
She took a step forward, and all the air left her lungs. Tears clouded her vision, and the whole room blurred into a display of color—orange and cream and deep, blue-green. It was all the colors of her—her red hair like fire, her freckles like a map. Her eyes and her skin and the soft, inviting pink of her lips.
She stood in the middle of a whole gallery of just how much Gabe loved her. And here, looking into her own smiling eyes, she could see how much she loved him back.
Oh god.
She needed to fix this.
Maybe it didn’t matter that she hadn’t won the design competition at work. After all, she couldn’t control Jeremy’s decision. She could always find another way to help her earn money for adoption fees, or for Weston’s college fund down the line. But she had done a shitty job handling the things she could control. She’d let fear run her life into a mess.
Bex looked away from the photographs, and her heart squeezed in her chest again.
She loved him.
And she was still scared. Hell, she was terrified. But that wasn’t going to be enough to stop her anymore. Sam and Aderyn were right, and if Gabe wanted to keep loving her, Bex was going to love him as much as she could.
“Emma,” she whispered, and her friend turned. “I have an idea.”
Chapter 34
A random phone number appeared on Gabe’s phone as he was wallowing on his couch, but he answered it on the off chance it was a buyer calling about a photograph in the gallery. The show was officially over now, but Angelica had asked him to leave his contact information with the front desk. There was still a possibility the caller was a buyer. Maybe he’d get lucky.
“Gabe? It’s Emma.”
Nope. Not lucky at all.
Gabe sank back against his couch cushions and sighed. “How do you even have my number?”
“The second you came to the photo shoot at X Enterprises, it became a matter of public record.”
He groaned. “I’m pretty sure that’s abusing a position of power.”
“Whatever, Gabe, that’s not the point.”
“So tell me what is.” He was losing patience.
“I need you to come to The Walton tonight. Our whole team bailed on trivia, and it’s just me here.”
“Not my problem, Emma.”
“Come on. You know I can’t answer a sports or art question to save my life. Please help me out.”
“You do realize Bex and I broke up, don’t you? Or was that another thing that she kept close to the vest?”
His voice
sounded so bitter and sad, but Emma ignored him. “That may be so, but I need you.”
“Why should I show up at the bar that my ex-girlfriend’s brother owns? Could things get any more awkward?”
“Because I’m your friend, too, Gabe. You may have been here because of Bex all those times, but you were also here with me.”
He sighed. “I appreciate that, Emma. But I’m just not feeling up for it.”
“Come on, we have a reputation to defend. Team Dildo is undefeated.” She brightened her voice. “I’ll buy your beer.”
“Oh, well, now you’ve sold me.”
Gabe could picture Emma’s smile. “Thanks. I’ll see you soon.”
At least Emma hadn’t lied. When Gabe walked through the double doors of The Walton, people filled the room, but none of them were Bex. He let out a breath and made his way through the bustling crowd to Emma’s table.
“Hi.” She pulled him into a quick hug. “Thank you for coming.”
He nodded. “You owe me.”
“One beer, coming right up,” she grinned.
Emma scampered toward the bar, and Gabe sank into a chair. One beer and one round of trivia, and then he’d be out. Even being here made his skin feel tight like he’d spent too much time in the sun. All the familiar noises and smells of the place raised a dull ache in his chest. It wasn’t right to be here without Bex. But then, it wasn’t right to be anywhere without her.
Emma returned to the table carrying two amber glasses. “Lady’s treat,” she declared, setting them on the table.
Aderyn stepped to the mic and smiled at the crowd. “Who’s ready for our weekly Trivia Night?” She was met with whoops and hollers. “As usual, you can have up to six players per team. Tonight I’ll ask a total of twenty questions and a few tiebreakers, if needed. Each team has one minute to write its answer to the question on the sheets we’re going to hand out. At the end of the event, you’ll turn those score sheets over to our Quiz Master, one Mr. Colton Barnes.”
Avery jerked her head at Colton, who stood behind the bar. He raised a hand to the crowd. “That’s him over there filling in for Sam, so play nice,” she said. “Colton will score the final sheets, and tonight’s winner will get a gift certificate for a dozen donuts at Pink Box Donuts.” More cheers. “I’ll hand out scoresheets and writing instruments, so you’ve got five minutes to get a drink on order before we begin.”
Aderyn threaded through the crowd, dropping papers and golf pencils at each table. Gabe couldn’t help but stiffen as she approached.
This had been a really stupid idea. He shouldn’t have let Emma talk him into it.
Aderyn’s soft hand landed on his shoulder and squeezed. “Nice to see you, Gabe.”
His throat scratched as he replied. “Thanks.”
Then she was gone, returning to the front of the room to emcee the game. “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Tonight’s first question touches on a little bit of Las Vegas history. Which local establishment is both a world-renowned hotel, home to not one but two Michelin-starred restaurants, and also hosts a fine art gallery?”
Emma laughed. “That could describe a few hotels around here. My bet’s the Bellagio.”
“But two starred restaurants? I thought they only had one.”
“So if not the Bellagio, then who?”
“The Renegade.”
Emma lifted her eyebrows. “If you say so.” She noted it, and Aderyn lifted the microphone to her lips.
“The red color in our local Aztec Sandstone is due to the presence of which chemical?”
“Are you kidding me?” Gabe muttered.
“What’s that?” Emma asked.
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
“So do you know the answer?” She tapped the stubby golf pencil against her lips. “This one escapes me.”
“Iron oxide,” he said. “It gives the rocks that rust color.”
“Iron oxide it is,” she said cheerfully, scrawling it on the score sheet.
“What material is non-porous and can be hand-blown?” Aderyn asked the crowd.
Emma narrowed her eyes. “Metal?”
She was the Quality Manager of a manufacturing facility. Shouldn’t she know this?
“Glass,” Gabe answered. Like the Chihuly flowers. Like Bex’s glass dildos. Like the butt plug he’d bought her from his friend in the Arts District.
“If you say so.” Emma scrawled down the answer.
“Next question. What is the name of the camera effect where the background of an image is intentionally blurred to produce a pleasing composition?”
Emma glanced at him. “This one’s on you, Mr. Photographer.”
“Bokeh.” Gabe spelled it out for her. He leaned forward and caught Emma’s eye. “Why do I feel like I have an unfair advantage with these questions tonight?”
Emma dropped her eyes. “Couldn’t say.”
She was lying, but Aderyn interrupted before he could say more.
“Next question,” Aderyn said from the front of the room. “This one’s got an image component, so look closely, friends. You’ll only get one minute before I hide this away again. Tell me which artist created this image.”
A photograph flashed on the wall at the front of the room, and Gabe blanched. The image was of Bex’s back—the long, lean lines of it exposed in that pretty white dress of hers—as she walked into the sunrise. The sun flared around her, and the picture was all fire and desire.
No way. No fucking way.
He jerked his head up, and his heart pounded as he glanced around the room. Ten tables of people played trivia, and a wreath of people crowded around the bar. But there, in the back corner, beneath a picture of The Walton’s construction, he spotted her.
Bex.
Gabe’s knees went weak, and his heart paused mid-beat. Just absolutely skipped a step before stuttering onto the next pulse.
Oh god.
Bex looked even more beautiful than the last time he’d seen her, and she wore that white dress right now, like a bride.
Even from here he could see her tremble, watch her mouth part as she sucked in a gulping breath. Bex’s face was a question, her heart right there in her eyes.
He loved her. So fucking much. How had he ever let her go?
There was no one else in the room as he stood. Not Emma, looking at him with a question on her lips, not Aderyn smiling from behind the microphone. Not even Colton, winking at him behind the bar.
It was just him and Bex together as he took a tiny stride forward. It was just him and Bex as she ran to him.
Chapter 35
Bex stepped forward on shaky legs, rushing through the crowd until she reached Gabe’s table. He was already on his feet, his dark eyes pulling her forward, and she launched herself against his beautiful, strong chest. Gabe’s heart pounded against her cheek as he banded his arms around her back.
“Oh god, Bex, what are you doing to me?” His voice was thick and lanced with pain. “You set up this whole thing?”
“I made you a game,” she whispered.
“Our game,” he said. “Our story.”
She nodded, so happy he understood. “I’ve been so, so stupid. I should never have left you.”
He snorted out a laugh, and she gave him a shaky laugh back. “Oh, honey. I missed you so much.” He brought a hand to her chin and searched her eyes. “Did you get your results back?”
Bex nodded. “I’m going to be okay. No cancer.”
He pulled her closer. “Thank god.”
She didn’t want to push her luck, but she needed to know. “Thank god you don’t have to take care of me?”
Gabe’s face tightened. “No, Bex. Thank god you’re okay. Thank god the woman I love isn’t hurt or suffering or in pain.”
Her chin quivered. “But I am.”
“Why, gorgeous?”
“Because I hurt you.” He blinked, and she continued. “Because I’m not with you now and I should be. I want to fix that.”
“Me too.”
Bex’s chin wobbled as she whispered her biggest fear. “Just because I’m okay now, doesn’t mean I won’t get sick in the future.”
“I’m willing to take that risk with you, Bex. It’s the same risk you took for me.” Gabe lowered his forehead against hers, and the smell of his cologne almost made her swoon.
“If you’re okay playing a game with bad odds, then who am I to stop you?”
“No, not bad odds, Bex. You’re the winning hand.” Gabe traced his thumb along the edge of her jaw and lifted her mouth to his lips. He kissed her, there in The Walton, and her whole life crumbled together and was made again stronger. Together they formed something new.
“I love you,” she whispered.
He smiled at her. “I know.”
“Do you still love me?”
“I’m sorry, was that kiss not clear enough?”
Bex bit her lip. “We might need to try again, just to be sure.”
This time Gabe’s kiss was a flag unfurling, a fire iron stoking the coals of her desire. She clutched at him as he parted her lips, sighed into him as he pulled her against an erection so hard she wanted to grind herself against it. Somewhere in the background, the bar patrons cheered, somewhere the microphone squealed and Aderyn handed out a gift card for a dozen donuts. But here in her arms, Gabe brought her back to life.
Gabe pulled back and smiled all the way into her heart. “Rebecca Kingsley, I’ve loved you since the moment you smiled into my camera and asked me how I felt about innovation.”
She grinned at him. “That was the thing that did it for you? My tech talk?”
His eyes heated. “I mean, you made a number of persuasive arguments that night.” He growled low, into her ear. “About three or four, if I remember correctly.”
Her face heated. “Would you like me to make some additional persuasive arguments for you tonight?”
He nipped her earlobe. “I demand it.”
A wave of relief washed over her, and she slipped her palms under the edge of his T-shirt, so damn happy to be able to feel his skin, hot and hard under hers.
His Inspiration Page 19
