by Diana Seere
“Of course I’m going to stick around. I was going to stay all week and maybe—”
“And how will you possibly be able to pay your bills if you’re moping about here instead of going to work?”
“I can’t,” Lilah said. Without the Platinum Club, she certainly wouldn’t be able pay the twenty bucks an hour that a regular home care aide might cost, let alone whatever Sophia charged. “But if I’m here, an aide doesn’t have to be. I’ll explain to her—”
“You’ll do no such thing. And didn’t you say you paid the agency in advance?”
“Yes, but—”
“Give me a kiss. And then, for God’s sake, go home and get some sleep. You’re loving that job of yours,” Marilyn went on. “I refuse to let you lose it. Not on my account. And if you try to come back here tomorrow, I’m telling Sophia to change the locks. She can do it. She can do anything.”
Unwilling to explain to her mother why her beloved helper might not be able to stay long, Lilah gave up arguing and went to the kitchen to make a casserole. It would keep her busy and give them something easy to eat later. Suburban domestic therapy.
As she found the cans and pasta in the cupboard, she tried not to love Gavin for what he’d done for her mother. It was so like him to be all tough and serious on the outside but sensitive and caring on the inside, carefully hidden from a cynical world.
Derry’s words haunted her. He was afraid to tell you. He was afraid you’d leave him.
She banged the pot on the stove, no longer as sure of her anger as she had been the night before. If only he’d trusted her enough to tell her. Her instincts had told her something was there, lurking under the skin, shadowing their souls, drawing them together. If he’d voluntarily revealed himself to her, as outrageous and impossible as it was, she would’ve accepted him.
She would’ve loved him.
And stayed with him.
The back door in the kitchen swung open, revealing an extremely tall, curvaceous woman with thick black hair and striking golden-brown eyes. She carried a grocery bag and a gallon of milk and didn’t look surprised to see Lilah standing there in the kitchen.
“I’m Sophia. You’re Lilah?”
Lilah nodded.
The woman studied Lilah for a long, slow moment.
“Look, we need to talk—” Lilah began.
“Let me go check on your mother first.” Sophia placed the groceries on the counter, left her for several minutes, and returned with a smile on her face. “She’s a nice woman.”
Lilah lowered her voice, weariness coming over like a blanket. “Let me cut to the chase. Gavin sent you, right? Or Eva? Please, I know you’ve probably signed something about not talking, but I need to know.”
Instead of answering, Sophia crossed her arms over her chest and regarded her silently. Finally she asked, “Why do you want to know?”
“Because she’s my mother.”
Sophia looked down at her hands. “Of course. Sorry.” She turned away and busied herself with the groceries. “It’s Eva you should talk to. She’d like to see you.”
Lilah’s stomach dipped. Fleeing the ranch like that in the middle of a prestigious event with their best clients was grounds for immediate dismissal. She could hardly explain to Eva that Gavin had turned into a werewolf and then the Stanton brothers had intervened to help her and brought her home.
She could, however, explain about Webb. Would she believe her? Accept sexual assault by a club member as an excuse for running away?
Well, if she didn’t, Lilah didn’t want to work for her.
“I’d like to see her too,” Lilah said, “but she’s in Montana.”
Sophia looked at her phone. “She just landed in Boston. She’ll meet you at the club tonight when you show up for work.”
Incredibly, when Lilah had gone home, she’d been able to sleep all afternoon, and was feeling refreshed and sane when she stepped off the elevator into the club that night.
Nervous but capable. And she hadn’t had any more dreams.
Eva stood there, perfect as always in her tailored blue suit, waiting for her. “Let’s talk in my office.” She turned and glided down the hallway to a back door Lilah had never noticed before. “How are you feeling?”
“Let’s not drag this out. Am I fired?”
Eva gave her head a little shake, placed her finger over her lips, and escorted her through the doorway into a suite decorated in a light art-deco style. The city of Boston glittered beyond through panoramic windows.
Gesturing to Lilah to sit, then joining her on the sofa, Eva let out a deep sigh. “This is very awkward.”
Lilah got to her feet. “I understand. You didn’t have to tell me in person.”
“Sit down, please.” Eva’s voice was kind but firm.
Smoothing her dress over her hips, Lilah sat.
“First of all, let’s get one thing clear. You work for me. Not Gavin Stanton. Not Mason Webb. Me.”
“I left the ranch without telling you.”
“You had reasons,” Eva said.
“They told you?”
“They told me.”
Silence stretched between them.
“I’d like to keep working here,” Lilah said finally. She had no choice. Money problems didn’t vanish just because your heart was crushed.
Eva visibly relaxed. She put a hand on Lilah’s knee and squeezed. “I’m glad to hear it.”
“But I’ll pay for Sophia myself,” Lilah went on.
A small smile teased the corner of Eva’s lips. “Even I can’t afford Sophia. If she wants to help your mother, she’ll help your mother. I wouldn’t argue with her.”
“Doesn’t she work for you?”
Eva leaned forward and poured two glasses of water from a pitcher and tray on the coffee table. “Only temporarily.”
“I am going to pay for her. You can take it out of my paycheck.”
“Impossible.”
“I’m not going to let Gavin pay for my mother’s care when...”
“Yes?” Eva asked, one graceful eyebrow arching.
When we’ve broken up, she’d almost said. But what a mundane, pathetic phrase to describe your soul being torn in half. “When I didn’t ask or give permission,” she said instead. “I’m not comfortable accepting that kind of favor. From anyone.”
With a probing look, Eva said, “But you’d like Sophia to stay with your mother.”
Lilah couldn’t lie. “Yes. She’s great. My mom wants to marry her.”
“I don’t think that’s possible, but it’s ultimately Sophia’s decision, of course.”
It took Lilah a few seconds to realize Eva was making a joke. Underneath all that businesslike perfection was a likable, relatable woman. Lilah felt her defenses break under the need to confide to another person, one who might know the extent of what she was going through. She was taking a big risk to even consider voicing the subject when confidentiality was the cardinal rule at the Platinum, but she had to try. “Do you know...everything that happened last night?”
Eva stared at her without speaking.
“Of course you do,” Lilah said at last, emptying her water glass with a sigh. “Everyone must. Everyone but me.”
Eva suddenly put both arms around her, squeezed, and withdrew. “Not everyone. Mason Webb, for instance, didn’t know. And we’re going to keep it that way. He’s already begun to doubt himself and is threatening to sue us for dosing his food with hallucinogenics.” She patted Lilah’s knee. “He’s been kicked out of the Platinum Club for life. You don’t have to worry about ever seeing him again.”
“I just can’t believe...Gavin and Asher...”
“Have you told anyone?”
Lilah paused. She wasn’t about to start telling lies. “My sister. Jess.”
“And?”
“She didn’t believe me.”
“Of course she didn’t,” Eva said, getting to her feet. “Well, that’s settled. Let’s get back to work. We’re short-staf
fed until the rest of the servers get back from the ranch.”
And that was it. She led Lilah out of her private sanctuary into the club Lilah knew, and the demands of keeping the elite members happy took over.
As she served drinks, Lilah found herself studying the patrons: Is that guy a wolf? How about that one? He’s got a long face, kind of looks like a snout. The man he usually sits with has sharp little eyes that always follow her around the room. And how about the guy with salt-and-pepper hair that’s the exact same color as Gavin’s fur in the moonlight...
Midway through her shift, Carl appeared behind the bar. Surprised to see him since he’d been at the ranch the night before, she hurried over before she’d emptied her tray. “What are you doing here?”
“I go where Eva goes.” He leaned over the bar and gestured for her to come closer. “What hap—never mind, of course you can’t tell me—but how are you?”
She lifted her chin. “I’m fine. What— Why do people think I left? What’s the rumor?”
“Webb tried to have his drunken way with you. That’s what I heard.”
If the assault was common knowledge, she wouldn’t have to explain why she wasn’t quite herself. “It’s true.” She showed him the bandages on her palms.
“I told you that place was full of animals,” Carl said, holding her gaze.
Her breath caught. She realized that he knew. She clutched his hand in relief, grateful to have a friend.
Unless...
“No, I’m not like them,” he said, rolling his eyes.
“How did you—when did you—” She cut herself off when she saw that Eva was watching them from across the lounge. She broke away, served her drinks, and managed to pretend she wasn’t a churning mess inside. She tried not to stare at the men and wonder if this one ever prowled Walden Pond at night, or if that one howled at the moon after a long day at the NYSE...
Hours later, the ridiculousness of it all combined with her own exhaustion made her take Carl’s arm as they walked to the elevator together. “I’ll tell you one thing,” she whispered, giving him the first real smile she had all evening. “It gives me an entirely new perspective on True Blood and Twilight.”
Derry marched into Gavin’s bedroom and flung open the curtains. Gavin moaned, the bright light spearing his brain.
“Get up, you lazy beast.”
“Fuck you.” He rolled over onto his stomach, the wrinkles in the sheets scratching against his navel, pulling against his thighs. The sensation made him think of Lilah, of her fingernails dragging across his flesh, of her lips enclosed over his—
“Well, now! That’s an improvement. Yesterday you just grunted.” Derry pulled hard on the sheet Gavin was wrapped in, yanking with such force that he toppled Gavin to the ground in a pile of pillows and hurt elbows.
“Ow!”
“Serves you right. It’s three in the afternoon, Gavin, and most of your guests are gone. Asher’s spent the past few hours apologizing for your absence and chalking it up to illness.”
“I am ill.”
“‘Lovesick’ doesn’t count.” Derry looked him up and down as Gavin stood, nude. “I see you’ve been thinking about Lilah,” he added, pointedly staring at Gavin’s midsection.
He looked down. “Shut up.” Grabbing a robe, he flung it over his body. “Did you see the Patriots injury report? Any word about Brady’s ankle?”
Derry looked at him like he’d grown a third eye. “Do I look like I speak sports? Who cares about little men who throw the skin of a pig around on a grass field?”
Gavin’s phone buzzed in the pants that rested on the floor in a pool of fine wool. He ignored it.
“That’s probably Asher,” Derry said in a tone of warning.
“Which is why I’m not answering,” Gavin snapped as he went to the bathroom and drew a long glass of water, gulping it down.
“It’s not his fault,” Derry said quietly as he followed Gavin down the hallway to the living room.
“Yes, it is.”
“No, it’s not.”
“So scintillating, these conversations with you, Derry. It’s like talking to a six-year-old.”
“You’re acting like one.”
“Then turnabout is fair play.” Gavin had been edgy since she left, despondent and belligerent—and he knew it. Wearing his anger on his skin like this felt like being dipped in fury, the hard outer coating the only way to survive each breath, each hour, each touchless moment without Lilah here.
Worst of all? He couldn’t sense her. Could not communicate.
The Beat was gone. The void it left was like having his soul ripped out and hung on a clothesline for crows to eat.
“You have to go to her,” Derry said simply.
“She left. She doesn’t want me.” Saying those words felt like swallowing broken glass.
“You don’t know that.”
“You told me she said that!” Gavin thundered, turning around to catch Derry at his back, making the large man falter and step backward, face pulled away as Gavin challenged him.
Derry’s nostrils flared, his lips curling up, hairline drawn high as he prepared to defend himself.
Gavin was in pure attack mode.
Their muted, mingled breath was the only sound in the cathedral-ceilinged room, the lodge an aching, empty reminder of the echo of emptiness.
Like Gavin’s heart.
Derry backed down first. He clearly wasn’t happy to do it, eyes filled with a reluctant love for his brother that Gavin couldn’t appreciate in the moment.
“I told you what she said.”
“She said she never wants to see me again!” He needed coffee. Lots of coffee. And a screwdriver to plunge through his left eyeball, which throbbed from adrenaline and grief.
“Those were not her words.”
“That was her intent.” Spilling coffee grounds all over the counter, Gavin finally got enough into the espresso machine, pushed down the tamper, and turned on the auto-brew. Two shots came out within ten seconds.
“That is how you’re choosing to interpret her words, Gavin.”
Snaking his finger through the espresso cup’s loop, Gavin paused with the drink halfway to his mouth. “What?”
“She never said she didn’t want to see you again.”
“You were there, Derry. You escorted her home. You know what happened.”
Derry shuddered, waving Gavin aside. He picked up a paper towel and wiped the counter, then made his own espresso shot, neat as a pin. The cup looked like a dollhouse toy in his brother’s giant hands, but he drank it down, then looked at Gavin with narrowed eyes.
“I know that she still loves you. She’s not upset that you’re a wolf, you ass.”
Gavin slugged back his own coffee and tossed the cup in the sink. “What are you talking about?”
“She’s upset that you lied to her.”
His heart slammed against his ribs like a tambourine being played. “What?”
“I told you this, Gavin!” Derry scoffed. “After she left.”
“I wasn’t in any condition to listen.” And it was true. He’d been mad with grief and recovering from his wounds, unable to process anything but that void within himself.
The enormous, vast emptiness where Lilah used to be.
“You love her deeply. She knows it. For whatever reason, you only want one woman.” Derry squinted. “I really don’t understand this phenomenon, though. You could have any woman you want. Any women you want, in twos and threes.” A half smile took over Derry’s face. “And they’re quite fine in groups.”
Gavin rolled his eyes. “I want Lilah, but she doesn’t want me.”
“I wouldn’t want you either if you lied to me. This isn’t the first time you’ve lied to her.”
Gavin jerked his head up. “What?”
“The assistance for her mother,” Derry said with a meaningful clearing of his throat.
Oh. That. Two weeks ago, Gavin had asked Derry to help him find an aide to
help Lilah’s injured mother. In the rush of the conference and planning, Gavin had assumed it was taken care of.
“It’s done then?” Gavin asked Derry, who frowned and smirked at the same time. This was not a look that inspired confidence in Gavin.
“Yes. Sophia’s there, and—”
“You sent Sophia?” Gavin choked. “You sent Sophia? Dear God, why? Do you hate me that much?”
Derry’s booming laugh made Gavin’s fist unclench a half inch. “Of course not. She’s perfect. Has medical experience, can do damn near anything a recuperating lady might need, and she knows how to keep her mouth shut. She certainly won’t tell Lilah’s mother who she really is.”
“Sophia will hold this over my head forever.”
“Another benefit of sending her.”
Gavin gave Derry a glare and snorted. “You enjoy punishing me.”
“She’s our sister, Gavin.”
“She’s up to something.” Sophia was Derry’s twin, the closest in appearance—and capacity for trouble—to Derry, her only full brother in the family. Tall and broad shouldered, dark-haired and robust, she was a force unto herself.
“She’s doing a wonderful job, and it keeps her busy.”
Gavin sighed. “Fine.”
“And quit talking about Sophia. Let’s get back to Lilah.”
“Lilah doesn’t want me. Asher’s right. Humans aren’t worth it.”
“She’s the One, right? You hear the Beat.”
Gavin closed his eyes, throat tightening. He tried to speak, twice, but no words came out.
A gentle giant’s hand brought warmth to his shoulder. “What is it?” Derry asked in a concerned voice.
“It’s gone,” Gavin blurted out.
“What’s gone?”
“The Beat.” It was like losing his own heart.
Bzzzz. Gavin’s phone. The sudden sound cut through the intensity of the moment. Gavin ignored it.
“Are you going to answer that?” Derry said as the phone buzzed in a steady rhythm. This was a call, not a text. Whoever it was let it ring over and over.
It stopped.
“No,” Gavin said, just as the buzzing began again.
Derry snatched the phone off the end table next to the couch and hit Talk, tossing it to Gavin like it was a hot potato.
