“But what if it flops?”
Alex shrugged. “You come back to HCC,” he said. “In fact, you and Anthony can both continue to work here while you get the new business off the ground. Just remember to clock out if you’re taking one of those video calls. I’m generous, but not generous enough to have you conducting your own business on Holmes Construction’s time.”
For a moment, shock rendered him speechless. But, to be honest, Reid shouldn’t have been surprised at all. Alex had never been anything but fair. And supportive. He should have known his cousin would be behind him, one hundred percent. Yet, the emotion constricting his throat made it hard to swallow.
“Thanks, man,” Reid said as they both stood. He pulled him in for a hug. “Knowing I have your blessing makes this a little less scary.”
Alex clamped a hand on his shoulder.
“Being scared isn’t always a bad thing. Being scared makes you work harder to make sure that you never allow what you fear to become reality.” He gave Reid’s shoulder a squeeze. “You’re going to be okay. You can do this, Reid.”
“Thanks,” he said. “For everything. I don’t know where I’d be if you hadn’t taken a chance on me, Alex.”
“As if Uncle Clark and Aunt Diane would have let anything happen to you.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I know. But you know I always have your back. And, like I said, the door is always open if you ever need to come back. But I’m hoping you don’t.”
Reid brought his cousin in for another hug, recognizing that having a family like the one he had was the very definition of being blessed.
* * *
As she paced the length of the trailer for the umpteenth time, Brooklyn vaguely acknowledged that she might very well wear a hole in the floor. Too damn bad. If she fell through, she’d just continue pacing on the earth below. She needed an outlet for the rage surging through her veins. If she stopped moving, she would hit something. Like her desk. Or the wall. She’d hit both already and had the throbbing hand to remind her.
Besides, she didn’t want to waste anymore punches on inanimate objects. She would reserve them for the person who deserved them.
She clenched her fists just at the thought of the conversation she’d had with her dad about an hour ago. She’d done her best to maintain her calm as she listened to his labored plea, encouraging her to apply for the fellowship in Chicago. The shock of hearing him mention the fellowship had been so breathtaking that it hadn’t occurred to her to even ask how he knew about it. But she didn’t have to ask, because there was only one other person she’d told.
Her dad unwittingly confirmed her suspicions when he mentioned Reid coming over earlier today to talk to him about how Brooklyn was wasting her God-given talent. He’d shown her dad pictures that he’d snapped of drawings—her drawings—and divulged what she’d told him while they were in bed together.
Hearing her dad apologize for the work ethic he’d instilled in her made Brooklyn want to sob. She never blamed him for holding her back. He’d always done what he thought was right, and she loved him for it. Reid had no right to go to her dad with anything.
Once again, betrayal hit her like a punch in the gut.
Sharing those drawings with him had been one of the hardest things she’d ever done. She’d trusted him. If she’d known he would turn around and use them to try to shame her own father, she would have never laid bare this part of her world to him.
Brooklyn stopped her pacing long enough to pull in a deep, calming breath.
She heard the door open and prepared to let loose, only to find Jarvis entering the trailer.
“Here’s a list of supplies needed for cleanup,” he said.
Brooklyn took a second to rein in her ire. She didn’t want to take any of her anger out on Jarvis. Now that he’d stopped with the cheesy pickup lines, they had become somewhat friends. Mainly because she’d discovered him reading Tolkien on one of his lunch breaks and got him to admit that he was a closet sci-fi/fantasy reader. Brooklyn remembered those days of trying to hide her geekiness from her friends.
She was still hiding in so many ways. And for good reason. Just look what sharing had resulted in.
“Is there anything from this list that’s needed immediately?” she asked Jarvis.
He shook his head. “We won’t be ready to start the clean-up for another two days, but I wanted to get the list to you ASAP so that you’re not scrambling to find the supplies.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“Oh.” Jarvis snapped his fingers. “Not sure if you heard about it, but there’s a talk at Octavia Books with the author of that new sci-fi thriller that’s getting all kinds of buzz. I’m planning to go. You interested?”
Her brows rose. “Are you asking me out on a date?”
“Hell no.” A look of pure horror flashed across his face. “Reid would kick my ass.”
“Ah. Okay,” Brooklyn said. “Just making sure.”
She shouldn’t be surprised that the quest to keep her and Reid’s relationship under wraps hadn’t worked. She had enough experience with the gossip grapevine on a construction worksite to know keeping it a secret was a foolish endeavor from the very beginning.
“Actually,” Jarvis continued, his feet shifting as a reddish tint climbed up his neck. “What I should have said is that me and this girl I met are going. But you’re welcome to join us if you want to hear him speak.”
“I’ll let you know,” Brooklyn answered, allowing a small smile to ghost across her lips.
It was a relief to know she wouldn’t have to worry about shutting down any advances from Jarvis anymore now that he had a new girlfriend. Although, it sounded as if the new girlfriend wasn’t as much a factor as not wanting to step into Reid’s territory.
And just like that, Brooklyn was mad again.
About five minutes after Jarvis left, the door to the trailer opened again and Reid walked in.
She thought she’d had enough time to calm down. She’d hoped to approach this conversation in a more adult way.
But that wasn’t happening.
The minute she laid eyes on him, all the anger that had built up over the course of the past hour came roaring back. Brooklyn marched over to him and shoved his solid chest with both hands.
“How dare you!” she screeched.
The look of utter confusion on his face made her want to shove him again. So she did.
“Ow.” Reid took a step back and rubbed his chest. “What’s the matter with you? What’s going on?”
“You went to my dad?” Brooklyn asked. “You showed him my drawings? You told him about the fellowships?” The befuddlement blanketing his face had her seeing red. “Dammit, Reid! Do you not see anything wrong with that?”
“Uh, no,” he said. “I thought I was doing something right for a change.”
“Right? To violate my privacy like that? To take something that I’d shared with you and broadcast it to the world?”
“The world? It was your dad!”
“And if I’d wanted him to see my work I would have shown it to him years ago! You had no right, Reid! None! How would you feel if I went to your family and told them about the learning disorder you’ve been hiding all these years?”
He took a step back, his face a mask of shock and hurt.
She. Did. Not. Care.
Brooklyn couldn’t see past her own hurt and anger to give the briefest consideration for what he was feeling.
“I just wanted him to see how good you are,” Reid said. “I figured if your dad knew, he’d encourage you to pursue your comics. Maybe even give you permission to go to one of those programs.”
“I’m a grown ass woman! I don’t need his permission. And I don’t need you going behind my back and sharing something that I shared with you in confidence.” She slapped her hand to her chest. “I trusted you with this part of me, Reid. Do you know how long I’ve kept this to myself? Do you have any idea how scary
this has been for me? I trusted you with it, and you threw that trust away.”
“That’s not—”
Brooklyn put her hand up. “I don’t want to hear it. Keep your excuses to yourself.”
Without giving much thought to what she was doing, Brooklyn grabbed her purse and left the trailer. She’d never once walked off the job in the middle of the day, but if she spent another second in that trailer with Reid she would strangle him. And, because she could never see him raising a hand against her, he would probably let her do it without putting up a fight. It was better for the both of them that she left.
Once in her car, Brooklyn automatically started for Tubby & Coo’s. It was her go-to spot when she wanted to clear her head. But with every mile that brought her closer to the bookstore, the thought of being holed up in that upstairs room made her start to feel claustrophobic. She needed air. She needed to breathe. She needed some place that would allow her to clear her mind and think without having to interact with anyone or anything.
And just like that, Brooklyn knew exactly where she needed to be.
Chapter Thirteen
Reid sat in the leather armchair in the quiet second-story room at Tubby & Coo’s Mid-City Book Shop, cradling his head in his hands. He’d been so sure he’d find her here, working her frustration out with her markers and sketchpad. When the owner told him Brooklyn hadn’t been here since Saturday afternoon—when Reid himself had been with her—he found himself at a loss. He’d come upstairs anyway, needing to be close to where she found her joy.
As he sat in the chair she usually occupied, Reid swore he could feel her positive energy flowing through his own veins. That small connection was giving him life right now.
But it wasn’t enough.
He needed to see her. He needed to be in the same space she inhabited. He needed to breathe the same air she was breathing at this very moment.
He needed her. Period.
But he had to give her some time. And some distance. She was upset—understandably so.
Why in the hell hadn’t he considered the flaw in his plan before going to talk to Warren LeBlanc? It wasn’t until after Brooklyn had pointed it out that he realized just how many lines he’d crossed by going behind her back and showing her father her Dynamo Diane drawings. He truly thought he was doing the right thing, but he’d been dead wrong.
It wasn’t his place to share her illustrations with anyone. She’d told him what the experience with that online bully had done to her self-confidence. He’d witnessed the painstaking steps she’d taken to build it up again—sharing her drawings first with him, then with that Kurt Bollinger guy at the comic con. It was up to her to decide when and with whom to share her talent. He’d had no right to make that decision for her.
He had to find her. He had to beg for her understanding. And for her forgiveness.
Reid knew it was better to hang back and give her space. He’d done enough damage for one day.
But he couldn’t stay away. Not knowing how she was doing—if she was still raging mad, or if she was crying her eyes red—it was driving him out of his mind. It killed him to know he’d caused her pain. He had to fix this.
He left his cell number with Candice, the bookstore owner, and asked her to text him if Brooklyn happened to come into the store. Once in his truck, Reid rested his forehead on the steering wheel, trying to think of where she could have gone. He’d swung by both her apartment and her parents’ place before coming to the book store, but hadn’t seen her car at either. He’d even gone to Pal’s Lounge, even though he knew he wouldn’t find her there. Brooklyn wasn’t the type to drink away her troubles. She drew them away.
Reid’s head popped up.
He was an idiot. He should have known where to look from the very beginning.
He pulled away from the curb, made the U-turn on North Carrollton and then made a quick left onto Orleans Avenue. Less than ten minutes later, he drove under the canopy of arching oaks that lined the narrow street and parking area in City Park. Reid kept an eye out for her car, his shoulders sinking with relief when he spotted it. He parked two spots down, then jumped out of his truck and started for the place where he knew he would find her.
He caught sight of her hair first. The crown of springy coils with a streak of deep cranberry was bent over her sketchpad as she lay in the grass. He made his way to her, hating to disturb her peace but unable to stay away. She didn’t acknowledge his presence, but he could tell when she noticed him because her shoulders tensed. Reid moved a few feet closer, until he stood right over her, his shadow covering half her body.
“You’re blocking my sun,” she said, not bothering to look up at him.
He started to move, but then he took notice of what she was drawing. He studied her hand’s movement as it swiftly glided the pencil across the cream linen paper. This wasn’t one of her Iansan illustrations. This one was much darker. The figure in the drawing wore all black, from the mask covering the top half of his menacing face to the fierce boots on his feet.
Was it a villain? Was it him? Had he become the bad guy in her world?
“I’m sorry,” Reid opened.
“Then stop blocking my sun,” she said.
“I’m talking about going to your dad,” he clarified.
He dropped beside her on the grass. Despite the risk of getting stabbed with the sharp point of her pencil, Reid reached over and stayed her hand. “Can you please just give me a minute to apologize?”
Frustration saturated her heavy sigh. She set the sketchpad on the ground, then turned around and sat up. She stretched her legs out in front of her, crossing her ankles and bracing her arms behind her. The relaxed posed belied the tension radiating off of her.
“Okay,” she said. “Have at it. Let me hear your apology.”
She wasn’t going to make this easy for him. Then again, why should she? He was the one who’d messed up. He deserved every drop of her disdain. It didn’t matter that he thought he was doing the right thing. What mattered is that he’d crossed the line, and that he’d hurt her in the process.
“I didn’t come here to give you a bunch of excuses, even though that’s what I’m doing.” He shook his head. “I truly thought I was helping, Brooklyn. After meeting your parents and seeing how much they care about you, I just had this feeling that your dad wouldn’t want you putting your dreams aside because of him.”
“It wasn’t your decision to make.”
“I know that,” Reid said. “I know that now. And if I could change it, I would. I shouldn’t have gone to him behind your back. I shouldn’t have shown him your drawings without your permission.” He dipped his head so he could look her in the eyes. “But you should know that he thinks you’re an amazing artist. He was blown away.”
A single tear streaked down her cheek and Reid nearly lost it. He wanted to gather her in his arms and beg her forgiveness, but a simple hug wouldn’t fix this. He needed to earn her forgiveness.
“I was only trying to help you in the same way you’ve helped me,” Reid said.
Her head snapped up and her gaze met his, her teary eyes glistening with confusion.
“It’s true,” Reid said. “I recognize so many of my own issues in yours. The fear of not being good enough, of lacking confidence in myself. I know you love your dad and you want to help take care of him, but I wonder if you’re maybe using your dad’s illness as an excuse, because you don’t think you’re good enough to attend those programs.”
“I don’t need you psychoanalyzing me,” she bit out.
“I’m not,” he said. “I was psychoanalyzing myself. Because in trying to figure out why you were so resistant to following your dreams, I recognized that I’ve been doing the same thing. I’ve never stepped up to take responsibility for anything in my life because I’m afraid that I’ll fail at it. I convinced myself that it’s safer to never try.
“But then you came along with this incredible talent. You possess this unbelievable gift, yet you’
ve been keeping it to yourself because you’ve been taught that you can’t be good at more than one thing. That’s crazy,” he said in a fierce whisper. “You’re fucking amazing at everything you do.”
He reached over and glided his thumb across her dampened cheek, gently caressing her soft skin.
“Neither of us have anything to fear.” Reid let several weighty moments stretch before he continued, knowing it might piss her off, but needing to say it anyway. “You have to apply for that fellowship, Brooklyn. Your dad will be fine. Your mom is here to take care of him. His friends are here. I’m here,” he said. “I’ll check on him every single day.”
He captured her chin and lifted her face up so he could look her in the eyes.
“Do you know how hard it is for me to push you to do this?” he asked in a hushed voice. “I’m selfish, Brooklyn. Always have been. Maybe it’s because I’m the baby of the family and have always been able to get my way.” Reid tried to smile, but couldn’t quite pull it off. “It’s not easy for me to let go of the things I really love, but I’m willing to put my selfishness to the side if it means you get to follow your dream.”
Her bottom lip trembled. She pulled it between her teeth, her anguished expression shattering him.
“You just don’t get it,” she whispered. “It’s my dream, Reid. I’m the one who chooses whether or not I follow it.”
She pushed up from the ground and Reid rose along with her. He reached for her hand, but she recoiled.
“No. Not…not yet.” She sucked in a breath and released it with a shuddering sigh. Taking a step back, she looked up at him, and said, “I know you meant well, but I just…I need some space.”
He hadn’t expected immediate forgiveness, but her rejection made it feel as if he’d been knocked in the chest with a heavy duty pipe wrench.
She picked up her sketchpad and the backpack she’d brought with her, and without speaking another word, left him standing underneath the bowing branches of the massive oak tree.
Awaken Me Page 25
