by Leigh Duncan
“I’m putting more on the line than you know.” Unable to sit any longer, Mitch got up and paced the room, the conversation that had delayed his arrival spilling unchecked.
“Randall Hill’s been tapped for a cabinet post. He’ll do well in Tallahassee. The question is, who will replace him as D.A.? A week ago, I was the obvious choice. It’s the job I’ve worked for ever since I became a prosecutor. This custody mess, though…” He shook his head. “It’s a deal breaker, one I never saw coming.”
He turned to face Amanda, not bothering to hide the emotional toll his decision had taken. “I’ll risk it all for Hailey’s sake, though. I can’t let her go on blaming herself.”
Beyond the windowpanes, Sunday evening traffic moved on New Haven Avenue. Inside the playroom Amanda simply stood for a moment looking at him. At last she took a breath.
“And I can’t let you destroy your career. Or throw away any chance of ever getting your daughter back. I won’t go into whatever did or didn’t happen on that playground, but let me talk to her.”
Mitch struggled to keep his jaw from dropping. “You’d do that?”
“Not for you,” she said, though he had to have figured into the equation. “For Hailey. Right now, she thinks you don’t love her. I’ve been where she is. I’ve lived through it with my dad. I still am. The thing is, it’s different with you. You really care about her.”
Mitch stared, hope and regret warring within him. One summer, he’d walked away from Amanda, leaving her to shoulder the blame for their breakup. Though he’d explained his actions, he’d never really apologized for them. That was something he could take care of, and there was no time like right now to do it.
“I’m sorry.” When questions flashed in her green eyes, he continued. “After rodeo camp that summer, I should never have left things the way I did.”
The firm line of her mouth shifted into a melancholy smile. “Thanks for that, but what happened between us…I got over it a long time ago.”
“All the same,” Mitch said, “I could have tried harder to get in touch, to explain why I left you hanging.”
Amanda turned pensive. “I thought, once your parents and your brother showed up, you’d lost interest. That a rodeo gal wasn’t worth more than a summer fling.”
Her words pierced another hole in a heart that already felt as if it was peppered with buckshot. “No, never that. I was just young and stupid.”
“We should split the difference and call it even,” she offered. “After all, I was on the road eleven months out of the year. It would have been easier for me to phone you.”
Knowing how much the concession cost her, Mitch took the olive branch. “Sounds like we were both waiting for a call that never came.”
“Maybe we were,” she said, her voice wistful.
Fighting a wave of nostalgia for what might have been, Mitch eyed the petite blonde. Despite the years and miles between them, he’d never been able to scrub her completely from his thoughts. If he crossed the room and swept her into his arms, could they regain the past that had been stolen from them?
He hesitated. The day had already contained enough emotional upheaval. Certain it was time to lighten the mood, he sent her an appreciative glance. “Nice to see that some things never change. You always did look good in jeans.”
Amanda patted her slim hips. “High metabolism, I guess.” She wiggled her eyebrows playfully. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”
Tension eased from the room, and soon they were getting ready to put the day behind them. Amanda began gathering the few toys his daughter had scattered about. Mitch pitched in, stacking dirty cups and saucers on a plastic tray. By the time he returned from the kitchenette down the hall, the dishes in his basket washed and dried, Amanda was loading the last of the toys into a built-in storage closet. He slipped the clean items into the tote bag along with the rest.
“Here.” He held the tea set in his outstretched hand. “You may as well store this in there, too. Looks like it might be a while before I’ll need it at home.”
The brush of Amanda’s hand against his sent a low-voltage current straight up his arm and across his chest. He studied the inquiring eyes that turned his way, and knew she’d felt the same thing. Curls had fallen onto her forehead and he swept them to one side with his fingertips.
“Amanda?” he whispered.
Her cheeks flushed and her breathing changed.
As much as he hated to do it, Mitch told himself he had to draw back. The woman before him might have offered to intercede on his behalf with his daughter, but she didn’t trust him, and without trust, neither of them could afford to give in to desire. Regretting every step, he forced himself to do the right thing.
“There’s too much at stake,” he whispered. “Hailey…”
“Right,” Amanda agreed. Subtle changes in her posture told him she had come to her senses as quickly as he had. “You’re absolutely right.” Taking the bag from his arm, she spun around to place it in an empty space on the closet shelf. By the time she turned to face him again, her dreamy expression had faded.
Mitch knew there was only one thing he could do: leave her office. Determined not to make the same mistake he’d made before and simply walk away, he cleared his throat. Amanda peered up at him.
“Okay, then.” She dusted off her hands. “We’re agreed. I’ll talk to Hailey as soon as possible. And we’ll meet here at the same time next week?”
“Yeah. Only next time, I’ll make sure nothing interferes with my schedule.” Mitch stared down at Amanda, wanting to take her in his arms, knowing it was impossible. Should he say something? His throat dried up, forcing him to cough.
Amanda waved one hand in a sign of dismissal. “Well, if that’s it, I guess it’s time to go.”
She seemed so self-confident that Mitch couldn’t think of another excuse to stick around. He left then, though he wished things could be different between them. On his way out, he wondered if Amanda had buried the same thoughts beneath her poised exterior.
Chapter Seven
Traffic thundered along U.S. 1, not fifty yards from the doors of low-slung buildings with flat roofs. Amanda eyed the ramshackle apartments where boxy air conditioners wheezed ineffectively from windowsills. Behind them, the Indian River perfumed late-summer air with salt and the eggy smell of sea grass as water lapped at the edge of a sandspur-dappled lawn.
She pressed her lips together. A month had passed since Hailey had moved in with her mother. Had Karen started looking for a better place yet? Her little girl couldn’t swim in the algae-tinted pool. The rusted swing set didn’t look safe enough for a squirrel, much less an active four-year-old. Thinking a change sooner rather than later might be a good thing, Amanda stepped from her car and crossed the graveled parking lot to Karen’s door.
It popped open before she had a chance to knock, and Hailey Goodwin gazed up at her.
“Mom!” the child called over one shoulder. “It’s Miss Amanda. See ya later.”
“Hold on a second.” Karen emerged from one of the bedrooms, vigorously rubbing a towel through her wet hair. “Amanda and I need to talk.”
When Hailey slumped into a chair, parked close to a flickering television, Karen frowned. “You can watch TV now or go to the movies later. Not both.”
“But Mom…” the little girl began.
Amanda held her breath, waiting to see who would win the test of wills.
“Hailey…”
Karen’s no-nonsense tone and stern look turned the tide. Hailey reached for the remote. “’Kay.” She sighed hugely as the screen went black. With Mrs. Giggles tucked under her good arm, the child headed toward the back of the apartment.
Amanda reined in her surprise. “That went pretty well. Are you two getting along better?” Frantic phone calls from Karen had been a nightly occurrence the first couple of weeks. Lately, they’d trickled down to a minimum.
“Those books on child development you lent me really helped,” her clie
nt said with a shrug. “C’mon in.” She gestured. “Coffee?”
“No, thanks.” Soda was Amanda’s preferred caffeine source, and she was saving her allotment for the afternoon. Carefully, she picked her way through the cramped living room. Beneath the usual clutter that went hand in hand with raising a child, the carpet looked freshly vacuumed. The stove in the tiny kitchen sparkled. “Looks like Esmeralda’s been busy,” she noted.
“She’s been a godsend.” Karen nodded. “I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
Amanda sank onto a chair opposite a stack of sales fliers. “Going shopping?” she asked while Karen poured herself a cup of dark coffee.
“Clipping coupons is more like it. The stipend I get from Mitch doesn’t cover even half the cost of feeding a kid.”
Amanda suppressed a sigh at the all-too-familiar complaint. People like Karen were the reason she worked on retainer, deducting her expenses from the money her clients paid in advance.
Karen twisted the towel around her hair, tucking up the loose strands with a practiced hand. She leaned back against the counter.
“And what are Mitch and my daughter doing today?”
“He wants to have a cookout. We’re meeting at his house.”
Karen batted eyes filled with questions. “Is that allowed?”
Amanda shrugged. Though she might be stretching the rules, DCF’s instructions didn’t specify where their visits took place, only that she be there to supervise.
“I thought it might be good for Hailey to see her own room, play with her own toys for a bit.”
She didn’t mention that she was looking forward to the change of scenery. Mitch was a master of excuses, each week finding fresh reasons to linger after Karen picked up Hailey. Amanda and he had spent hours together, talking, rediscovering the things that had drawn them to one another so many years ago. Lately, she’d caught herself thinking of him at random moments. Each time, she had to stop and remind herself of the reasons why a relationship with Mitch was a bad thing. One of those reasons sat across the table from her, and Amanda hauled her thoughts back to the present.
“You want me to pick up some more of her clothes while I’m there?”
“Hell, yes.” Karen pointed to a mound of neatly folded clothes in a basket by the back door. “Seems like Esmeralda spends most of her time doing that child’s laundry.”
Karen brought her coffee to the table and pulled out the only other chair. “A cookout, huh? I can barely afford hot dogs, but I bet Mitch’ll buy meat from Petty’s Market. What I wouldn’t give to have one of their marinated steaks.” Her lips twisted in a wry grimace as she waved a hand at the coupons. “If I hadn’t scored a couple of free tickets, I couldn’t even afford to take Hailey to the movies this evening.” She looked up. “Are you sure there’s no chance Judge Dobson’ll increase my child support?”
Amanda let her skepticism show in a raised eyebrow. With Mitch covering tuition, clothes and school supplies, as well as paying Esme to provide day care, Karen’s sole additional expense was food. Which, unless Hailey had started shoveling it down when no one was watching, couldn’t cost much.
“Judge Dobson won’t be back from his vacation for several weeks. And I have to tell you that, based on my experience in family court, Mitch is already paying more than most judges would order.”
Karen started to protest, but Amanda cut her off. It was time the woman faced the downside of child custody.
“Say Dobson awards you more money. There’s bound to be a trade-off. You’d have to cover tuition or day care. That might leave you worse off than you are now.”
“You’re not just saying that, are you?” Karen’s gaze dropped to the table and she sighed. “This isn’t working out at all the way I expected. Don’t get me wrong—things were over between Mitch and me long before we split up. But after Ron and I called it quits I thought maybe I could get some part of my old life back. I thought gaining custody of my daughter meant I’d be able to quit work and be a stay-at-home mom.”
“That’s a little unrealistic, don’t you think?” Amanda felt a twinge of sympathy for her client and let her voice drop. “Until Hailey got hurt, Mitch held down a full-time job and still juggled child care and the responsibilities that went hand in hand with being a single dad.” She took a breath. “Let’s say you win permanent custody. Best case, you’ll get only enough child support to cover Hailey’s needs. Not yours.”
“You’re sure?” Karen must have seen the truth in her eyes, because her shoulders slumped visibly.
Amanda nodded. If Karen and Mitch were battling for custody in another state, maybe her client could hope for more. But not in Florida, where the courts took a very conservative approach to child support.
As long as they were talking about money, she pressed forward. The rare opening gave her a chance to clarify things with a woman who’d seemed intent on getting her own way, without considering all the pluses and minuses.
“There’s another possibility.” Amanda paused. The more time she spent with Mitch, the more certain she was that he didn’t deserve the hand he’d been dealt. Hailey averaged one meltdown per visit, yet Mitch never lost his patience or even spoke sharply to the child. If anything, Amanda was beginning to think he was too lenient with his headstrong daughter. “Let’s assume Mitch somehow proves he didn’t hurt Hailey.”
At that, Karen’s nostrils flared. Her head came up.
Amanda waved her hand. “I’m not taking a position here. That’s up to the courts to decide. But, for the sake of argument, let’s say he’s able to prove that the accident occurred just the way he said it did.”
Somewhat mollified, Karen nodded. “Okay,” she said. “But just for the sake of argument.”
“Eventually, Dobson could order joint custody. Then, based on Florida law, all expenses would be split right down the middle.”
Karen’s face turned pensive. “I guess that wouldn’t be so bad. It’s not like he’s giving me a fortune right now.”
Quickly, Amanda backtracked. “No. I mean all expenses. Day care. Tuition. Food. Right now Mitch pays for everything. You’d be responsible for half those costs, without the monthly stipend you’re getting now.”
“That’s so not fair!” Karen stood and marched to the window overlooking the tiny patio. “Do you have any idea how difficult it is to work all day and come home to a child like Hailey? I’m telling you, she’s a handful. There’s never a break when she’s around. It’s not all fun and games.”
Amanda rubbed her neck, where her veins pulsed with a rush of emotion. Karen was making progress, but she still had a lot to learn. Criticizing her wouldn’t bring about a change in attitude. The situation called for a light touch.
“I know it’s hard,” she soothed. “Being a parent isn’t just the occasional trips to Disney World. It’s tough work being there for your daughter when she needs you. Reading her stories at night and tucking her in. Attending all those parent-teacher conferences and setting boundaries. It’s a big price to pay for all the hugs and kisses, but it’s a necessary one…for Hailey’s sake.”
Doubt filled Karen’s eyes. “But for now I get, what—four hours off on the weekend? While Mitch is able to come and go as he pleases?”
“I think he’d trade places in under eight seconds.”
The words tumbled from her lips before she had a chance to think about them. Amanda held her breath, hoping she hadn’t pushed too hard.
Karen’s eyes narrowed. “That’s the second time you’ve taken his side. You’re not having second thoughts about representing me, are you?”
Amanda considered her answer carefully. Her opinion of Mitch had changed. She no longer saw him as the kind of man capable of physically harming his child. That didn’t change her opinion of him as a father, however. Before Hailey’s accident, the man had spent far too many nights working late at the office and far too few hours with his daughter. Karen, with her nine-to-five job at Bella’s, was in a better position to off
er Hailey the love and care she needed.
“No,” she said at last. “I made a commitment and I’ll see it through. If you want primary custody of Hailey, I’ll do my best to get it for you.” Just as she’d do her best to convince her client that every child deserved the love and attention of both parents.
Karen absorbed this new information with a nod. Her eyes watered when she sent a troubled look toward the sink filled with dirty dishes. “It’s just so damn difficult. I want to do better. Honestly, I do.”
“You’re still adjusting to the situation, but I know what it’s like to grow up around parents who don’t have time for you. Trust me, you don’t want to be that kind of person. For a long time, I thought I’d never have a family of my own because of the way my parents treated me. But now…well, maybe someday.”
Hailey had sparked the first, tiniest urge to have a child of her own. The more time they spent together, the more Amanda thought she might be up to the challenge of motherhood. Of course, that meant there’d have to be a man in her life. Immediately, the image of a tall, dark-haired prosecutor flashed through her mind. She drummed her fingers on the table.
She’d grown closer to Mitch despite herself. She’d even begun to look forward to Sunday afternoons with him and Hailey. No, they hadn’t crossed a line, but thoughts of him invaded her days and filled her nights even though she knew he was off-limits.
But what about after this case ends?
She shook her head, knowing this was the wrong time and place to dwell on her old boyfriend. She was a court-appointed lawyer assigned to supervise Mitch’s visits with his daughter. And if that wasn’t a good enough reason to keep her distance from the handsome attorney, she was also his ex-wife’s lawyer. Amanda had a moral and legal obligation to do right by her client. So, no, there’d be no more thoughts of a future with Mitch Goodwin.
Across the table, Karen leaned forward.
“I’m glad you were straightforward with me about the child support. It makes what I asked you in here to discuss even more important.” With a glance toward the hallway, Karen dropped her voice to a whisper. “I’ve heard rumors of expansion plans for Bella Designs.” She frowned at the dowdy kitchen. “And since, from what you say, I can’t expect Mitch to help me out, I’ve decided to apply for the manager’s job at the new store.”
