by Leigh Duncan
So why, when he was willing to forgive and forget, was she so insistent on calling it quits?
She couldn’t be right about them. He refused to believe they’d found one another after all these years only to lose each other again. The past few days—days when Karen’s abrupt change of heart should have made him the happiest man on the planet—he couldn’t get Amanda out of his head. No matter where he turned, she haunted him.
He’d broken out the grill, thinking to bury his heartache in a good steak and a six-pack. But consumed by memories of his golden girl and the picnic they’d shared with Hailey, he’d tossed the untouched meal into the trash can. He’d upended the full bottle of beer in the sink, sending every mind-deadening drop of liquid down the drain.
He’d tried to catch up on his reading, but the couch where they’d kissed was off-limits. Along with his deck. His car. Boots and Spurs. In short, every place he’d seen Amanda, held her close, heard her laughter. He’d called in sick, something he hadn’t done since the last time Hailey brought the flu home from preschool. Tending to his heartache, Mitch had hunkered down in his bedroom, the one place in his house Amanda had never seen…no matter how much he’d wanted to take her there.
He’d come to the fair tonight prepared to make up, to apologize, to get them back on track. Now, searching the green eyes of the woman he’d loved ever since he was a scrawny teenager on a dude ranch in Wyoming, he held his breath and prayed like he’d never prayed before. His heart told him this was his last chance to make things right between them. Without hesitation, he pulled out all the stops.
“One spin on the Ferris wheel…for old times’ sake?”
He knew she’d remember the night they’d hitched a ride into town to see her father perform in a small-time rodeo. Afterward, they’d hung out at a carnival much like this one. Hoping for a kiss when they reached the top, Mitch had bought tickets on the Ferris wheel. The ride had broken down just as they were about to board, but he’d kissed her anyway, and they’d been inseparable after that.
Reminding her of the night they’d shared that first tentative kiss… It was sentimental and sappy, and some might even call it cheating. But if he was going to win Amanda’s heart, he couldn’t afford to play by the rules she’d set.
Something glinted in her eye. A spark? A tear? It didn’t matter as long as she gave him time to plead his case.
“Okay…” she said slowly. “One ride. As long as when it’s over we part as friends.” Her voice dropped. “And nothing more.”
He hoped she’d forgive him for bending the truth, just this once.
As they walked down the midway, he did his best to comply with her wishes. Despite arms that ached to snug her to him, he kept his distance. Catching a glimmer of sorrow on her face, he resisted the urge to reach out to her. The line stretched endlessly around the Ferris wheel, but he avoided all talk of what they’d meant to each other, their hopes, their dreams for the future. Instead, he filled the time with mindless chatter.
“I saw Royce in the exhibition earlier tonight,” he said when he’d exhausted his supply of topics and they were still three couples away from the head of the line. “I guess that means you worked things out with Tom?”
Amanda resettled her cowboy hat. “Now that Dad can’t perform anymore, Royce has joined the Markette Team.”
“Oh?” This was news. Mitch wondered why she hadn’t mentioned it earlier. It took him a second to remember that they hadn’t been on speaking terms for several days.
She shrugged. “Dad got the official word from his doctor last week. I was going to tell you after the custody hearing, but…”
She didn’t need to say any more. Mitch knew all too well why that conversation hadn’t taken place.
“What’s the old buzzard going to do now?” he asked. Though Amanda’s voice carried no hint of the tension usually associated with her father, he wanted her to know she could count on him to run interference whenever necessary.
“Surprisingly, I think it’ll all work out. Royce and his wife have agreed to make all the Markette performances. Dad will set up new gigs, handle the contracts and the business side of things. It’s work he can do here while he recuperates. Later…” She shrugged. “Well, who knows? Boots and Spurs is looking for a new foreman. They’ve practically begged him to take the job.”
Pink-and-yellow carnival lights dappled the face Mitch peered down to study. Amanda had changed in more ways than he’d given her credit for if she didn’t mind her dad moving to town. “Are you okay with that?”
She gave a short laugh. “Now that he has someone else to boss, I’m kind of looking forward to having him around.”
If she could forgive her dad after everything he’d done to screw up her life, maybe there was a chance for them after all. Mitch took a second to regroup before deciding Amanda’s new and improved relationship with her father might work in their favor. At the head of the line, he handed over the roll of tickets he’d purchased back when he’d planned to pop the question at the top of the Ferris wheel.
The game had changed since then. His plans had changed along with it. But tucking a twenty into the pocket of the attendant, he whispered, “You know what to do.”
The boy had agreed to let them ride as long as they wanted. Until the carnival closed, if necessary. Mitch hoped it wouldn’t take that long to convince Amanda they deserved another chance, but he wouldn’t force her and he wouldn’t beg. At the first sure sign that it was truly over between them, he’d cut the ride short and head for home, alone.
It might kill him, but he’d do it.
They took their seats, inches of space that might as well have been miles between them. The safety bar came down, pressing them into the hard plastic. Music played and the bucket jerked forward.
He resisted the urge to wrap one arm around the woman he’d loved for fifteen years. They rode higher, starting and stopping several times to let couples disembark and new ones take their places. For a while, the Ferris wheel turned in earnest. Knowing if he blew it this time, he’d never get another chance, Mitch sat quietly, his mind racing.
Words were how he made his living. Every day, he strung them together in order to convince this judge to issue a search warrant, that jury to convict. But sitting beside Amanda, he knew no brief he’d ever written, no summation he’d ever given a jury would mean as much as what he’d say to her in the next few minutes. He searched for eloquence and came up empty.
At last, he cleared his throat and said the only thing he knew that had a chance of making things right.
“I’m sorry.” Two little words, but he’d never meant anything more in his life. Except, maybe, the three that followed them. “I love you.”
He searched Amanda’s face, hoping for some indication that she’d forgiven him. A sad smile formed on her lips. Her head slowly swung from side to side. “I love you, too, Mitch. But I’m afraid that’s not enough.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” he said, just as their car swayed to a halt at the top of the Ferris wheel.
Amanda clamped one hand on her hat as wind whipped her hair across her face. Shifting in her seat, she turned toward him until the breeze caressed her curls the way Mitch’s fingers itched to do.
“Before we ran into each other at the Saddle Up, I thought I had my life all figured out. I’d decided a family of my own wasn’t in the cards. I didn’t want to take the chance that I’d be the same kind of parent as my own mom and dad.”
Mitch leaned forward. Words of reassurance formed on the tip of his tongue. Amanda would make a great mom. She’d never be the kind of parent either of hers had been. Before he could muster a syllable, she shushed him.
“Let me finish. That was before. Before I met you again.” She smiled. “And Hailey.” Amanda paused for a second. Though her expression didn’t change, her voice turned solemn. “Thanks to both of you, I can see myself settling down one day. Having a family of my own.” She wagged a finger back and forth between them. �
�But not us together.”
Mitch pictured Amanda, her belly round with child. The crush of not sharing that dream with her was so great he had to ask, “If we love each other, why not?”
Her smile thinned. She stared into her lap. “You know why. I spent my childhood competing against my dad’s career, vying to have some small part of his life. I swore I’d never put myself in that position again.” Tears sparkled in the eyes she turned to his. “Your drive, your intensity make you the best of all possible prosecuting attorneys. I get that. But you have to admit it doesn’t leave much time for your family. And with this new promotion, you’ll have even less of it. That’s not the life I want to live.”
A sudden hope filled Mitch’s heart. His fingers tightened on the safety bar. Slowly, he asked, “And what if I told you I turned down the job?”
Amanda’s lips parted. “You…what?”
When he repeated himself, she squinted up at him. Wonder and something he didn’t dare believe shone in her gaze.
“Why?” she asked. “Isn’t it what you wanted? What you’ve been working for all this time?”
“I thought it was,” he answered with a sigh. “I admit it—I’ve been a fool. I convinced myself I could have it all—a home, my daughter, a demanding job.” He took a breath. “You taught me how badly I was failing. I saw in your eyes that Hailey deserved more than I was giving her. That my idea of family time one day a week wasn’t enough. Becoming the next district attorney jeopardized even those few hours. So…” he shrugged “…I turned it down.”
Sounds from the carnival faded into the background as he waited for some response from the woman he loved. Amanda didn’t say a word. Didn’t move a muscle. For the longest time she sat staring out over the midway. Finally, she turned to face him.
“I guess that changes things, doesn’t it?” Her head tilted to one side, blond hair flowing like a river away from her face.
Mitch searched her features. His breath caught in his throat at the depth of emotion he saw swimming in her eyes. “It certainly does,” he agreed. “I know I hurt you. But will you give me forever to make it up to you?”
“The rest of your life?”
At her whispered response, his mouth went so dry he could barely speak.
“Longer. Forever. Marriage, a house, a family—I want it all. With you. Only you.”
She laughed then, a tinkling sound that washed away all his fears. “Why, Mitch Goodwin, if I’m not mistaken, that sounded an awful lot like a proposal.”
“If it was, would you say yes?” He held his breath, waiting an eternity for her answer.
“If it was, I think I would.”
The first of the carnival-closing fireworks burst over their heads, but Amanda’s gaze never wavered. With colorful lights glinting in her eyes, she whispered the words he had waited a lifetime to hear.
“I love you, Mitch Goodwin.” She pointed to the ground far below, where a white-haired couple watched the fireworks, their arms wrapped around each other. “I want that to be us.”
“Me, too.” He smiled, sliding closer. He had to hear her say it again. “So, you’ll marry me? Soon?”
“I think fifteen years is long enough to wait, don’t you?” Their eyes met, the love in hers enhanced by a sizzle of light from the sky as more fireworks exploded. “I don’t want to wait another minute.”
Neither did he. Unable to resist any longer, he swept his lips across hers. Tasting, plundering, holding, he promised her the world, his life, his everything.
They pulled apart at last, and Mitch signalled the ride operator. The Ferris wheel jerked into motion. Mitch wrapped his arms around the woman of his past, his present and his future, and pulled her close. He rained kisses onto Amanda’s hair, then lifted her hand.
“You need a ring. Let’s shop for one tomorrow.” He grinned, wanting to buy her the biggest, shiniest one he could find. He imagined candlelight and wine. Saw himself going down on one knee for a proper proposal.
As usual, Amanda was one step ahead of him. She flexed her bare fingers. “A shopping trip might be nice, but only if Hailey can come, too. Your daughter does love her sparkles.”
“Our daughter,” Mitch corrected.
“Our daughter.” Amanda snuggled into his embrace. “I like the sound of that.”
Gently, he kissed the tip of her nose as the Ferris wheel slowed to a stop. Mitch stepped from the car and hurried to help Amanda out, not wanting to waste a minute of their time together. Having her next to him felt so right, and now he knew she’d be by his side for the rest of his life. He bent down and brushed a kiss across her lips.
His green-eyed beauty met his gaze. “Let’s go home,” she whispered.
Oblivious to the bright colors filling the night sky, Mitch wrapped his arm around Amanda’s waist and steered them toward the start of their forever together.
* * * * *
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ISBN: 9781459230798
Copyright © 2012 by Linda Duke Duncan
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