If he would prolong the contact, angle it just a little, she could climax. Oh, God. If she climaxed from this…it would be embarrassing.
The massage continued. And really, who cared about being embarrassed? She didn’t. When would he brush across her panties again? She tensed, waiting, hoping, so damn eager. Her entire body vibrated. Even the air in her lungs began to heat. But time ticked by, and his motions became a little jerky as he kneaded the knots, never offering such wantonness again.
“Distract me,” she said. Otherwise, she just might beg him for a happy ending. Something she couldn’t allow herself to do. He said they would mate soon. Which meant, now was not the time. Or was she supposed to beg? Before, in the bedroom, he’d said, Not until you beg me. Was that what he wanted now? What he expected? To work her into a frenzy and hear her plead? Well, she would—
“Distract you how?” he asked, surprising her.
Okay, so begging wasn’t on the menu. Astonished with herself, she fought a wave of disappointment. “Tell me a story.”
He stilled. “A story?”
“Yes.” She cracked open her eyelids and added, “Whatever you do, don’t stop massaging!”
His lips twitched despite the tension radiating from him, something she found endearing. Most likely amusement had not been a part of his life for a while, yet he seemed to enjoy her. As she enjoyed him.
“A story about what?” he asked. He remained between her splayed legs, with her knees bent and framing him.
“I don’t know. Your family, maybe.” The second she said the words, she wanted to snatch them back. She remembered the passage from the book. He did not recall his past. His memory—
“I have two brothers and a sister,” he said, and stopped breathing.
A moment passed, then another. His fangs slid back inside his mouth, disappearing. Shock and pain replaced the desire and joviality in his expression.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, even though she knew the answer. Or thought she did. He needed to speak, to release. Something she had learned—and maybe discarded—in her therapy sessions. But just because she hadn’t tried it, didn’t mean he should not.
“I didn’t remember my siblings until just now. I suspected, but…I have two brothers and a sister. Right now I know, know, they are real.” There was a challenging note in his voice, as if he expected her to argue.
“They’re real,” she agreed.
He grimaced, nodded. “At last I can see them in my mind. I just can’t recall their names. When I try, my head nearly explodes with pain.”
“Pain?”
“A courtesy of the healer.”
“Oh, Nicolai. I am so sorry.” To know you had a family and to be unable to recall the past you shared, well, that was a true torture, and far worse than not knowing they existed at all. For months, Jane had survived only on her memories. “Ease away from thinking about their names and describe what you see.” Perhaps, when he relaxed, his mind focused on one portion of his past, other memories would follow more easily.
The glaze of pain faded from his eyes, and the corners of his lips quirked up once more. He dug into her muscles with more ferocity. “My youngest brother, just a boy, has green eyes and hair several shades lighter than yours. I see him chasing after me, and that makes me happy.”
“I bet he looked up to you,” she said to encourage him. “I had an older sister, and I was always chasing after her, desperate to play with her and her friends.”
“Yes.” Nicolai’s eyes widened, but he was looking beyond her, to a place she couldn’t fathom. “Yes, he did look up to me. To all of us. And we loved him. He was sweetness and innocence rolled into a mischievous package. I—I see us standing together, smiling, a unicorn prancing in front of us.” A real unicorn. Jane wanted details—like, had they saddled the creature and ridden it around?—but didn’t want to interrupt the flow of Nicolai’s recollection. “What about your other brother?”
“He is younger, as well, though very close to my age.” He paused, as if searching his mind for validation. He nodded. “They are all younger than me. Even my darling sister.”
“And what are these other siblings like?”
“My sister has her golden head bent over a spell book. I try to convince her to leave with me, as I must visit the market, but she refuses. She wants to stay, has too much to do. She works too hard, wants to please too many people. And he, the brother closest to my age, has black hair, like mine, and he’s hunting in the forest, racing alongside the wolves.”
The bookworm and the warrior, huh? “You are the dictator, I bet,” she said with a smile. “And the youngest is the sweetheart.”
“Micah is a sweetheart, yes.” His eyes widened, a trace of pain returning. “Micah. Yes, that’s his name. I wonder where he is, where they all are, what they’re doing.”
“You’ll remember, just like you remembered Micah’s name. And maybe you don’t need a healer to do this. These memories came back without her.”
“Maybe they came back because of you.” Nicolai’s gaze returned to her. He caught sight of her encouraging smile and licked his lips, his expression changing yet again. From wistful to heated, his cheeks flushing, his fangs peeking out. Little beads of sweat popped up on his brow.
“Me?” The rising sun cast muted, golden rays over their camp. Though he remained in the shadows, his bronzed skin seemed to glow. His eyes swirled, liquid silver, hypnotizing her.
“Yes. You are the only change in my life,” he said. His attention moved to her breasts, and her nipples pearled for him, as if desperate to please him. “Mine,” he added, reminding her of the beast he had become inside the palace.
This time, the beast delighted her.
The tingling reignited, more intense and spreading quickly. She might have moaned. Might have lifted her hips, seeking more of his heat. Hard to tell, because her thoughts were so consumed with what she wanted, needed, from him.
“You keep saying that.” And she kept hoping it was true. But they’d made no promises to each other, had only stated their desire for each other.
And really, despite his earlier shout that she would stay with him, she had no idea how much longer they would be together. An hour? A week? A year? They were literally from two different worlds, and she could return as suddenly as she’d appeared.
“Mine,” he said more forcefully, perhaps sensing her doubts.
“What do you mean by that? Explain.”
“Want you. No secret of that. You want me, too.”
God, those short, abrupt sentences were sexy as hell. As if his mind was locked on one thought—pleasure—and nothing could penetrate his determination to have it. With her and only her.
But…could she truly satisfy him? More than being from two different worlds, they were completely different people. One, there was his abuse. Would the things she wanted to do to him freak him out? Maybe, maybe not. Nothing had so far. Two, he clearly knew his way around a female body.
Odette and Laila had been willing to enslave him to experience the joy of his body. Jane knew her way around one man’s. She knew what he had liked, but had no idea what another male might long for.
Her previous relationship had lasted three years, ending with her accident. Not because of him. Spencer had wanted to stick by her side. She had pushed him away, too grief stricken to deal with him or anyone. And the plain fact was, she had no longer desired him. Not in any way. She had tried, she really had, to make herself want him again. She had planned a date night, with every intention of seducing him. Yet, even the thought of kissing him had made her sick and she had sent him home directly after dinner.
So, the fact was, while she and Spencer had done everything lovers could do, she’d didn’t have any other experience. None. In school, she’d been far younger than her classmates, so no one had wanted her. After that, she’d been too busy. Spencer was the first man to distract her enough to start something.
The lack hadn’t bothered her before. Ther
e’d been no time to consider it, not even when she had been grinding on top of Nicolai. She’d been too busy trying to figure out what had happened to her, trying to survive her sudden appearance here.
Now, however, she wanted to be perfect. The best. She wanted to please Nicolai the way he had pleased her in her fantasy.
She had enjoyed sex. And she had missed it, despite her lack of desire, all these months. Actually, nearly a year now. Mostly, she had loved and missed the afterglow, lying in a man’s arms, absorbing his heat, talking, laughing.
“I’ve lost you to your thoughts.” Nicolai cursed under his breath, but there was humor in the undercurrent. “I’m trying to resist you, Jane, and I’m failing. The challenge of engaging your attention isn’t helping.”
“Why?” A breathy entreaty. “I mean, why are you trying to resist?”
“You need time to recover. And there’s something I must tell you first. Something you will not like.”
Stomach cramp. “What is it?”
One heartbeat, two. “Without my memories, I can’t be sure…a woman could be waiting…”
Another cramp. “Oh, God. You’re married?”
“No. No, that much I know. Just before my appearance in the Sex Market, I was with a woman…a servant. Yes. I remember that. I would not have been with a servant if I were married. But I might have promised myself to another.”
Might have… No. Not possible. “You hadn’t.” This she said with a sudden surge of confidence. He was too possessive to sleep with a servant if a fiancée waited in the wings.
A glimmer of hope in his expression. “I mention this only as a possibility, not a reality. I could never want anyone as much as I want you right now.” He was looming over her a second later, his mouth poised just above hers. He was breathing shallowly, his hands anchored next to her temples, his erection pressed between her legs.
Finally. The contact she’d yearned for. He was hers, hers, only hers. She could believe nothing less. “You may not know yourself, but I think I know you,” she said. “Trust me, no one is waiting for you.”
She wasn’t being stubborn or blind about this. Discarding his possessive nature and the fact that any woman he committed to would have his full attention, he was vampire and vampires mated for life. Physically they couldn’t stray. Research had proven that. So, memory or not, he would not react to Jane if his heart belonged to another.
“Perhaps I am a horrible person, because I don’t care about a faceless stranger,” he said. “I can’t resist you. I won’t resist you. Don’t deny me, Jane. Must taste you, all of you. Please.” He didn’t wait for her reply but leaned the rest of the way down.
“Nicolai—” She meant to tell him that she couldn’t resist him, either, and she would never deny him, that he wasn’t a horrible person, but the words were lost in a scorching kiss as he meshed their lips together.
His tongue thrust past her teeth and rolled with hers. Hot, so hot.
He tasted of mint and…candy. Mmm. Yes, candy. Sugary sweet, the flavor all his own, consumed her.
Unable to stop herself, she glided her fingers into his hair.
“Yes. Please. Please,” she said, finally begging.
Her nails bit into his scalp, holding him to her. She needed more, had to have more, everything else forgotten. Her knees squeezed at his waist, and she rocked herself against him. A gasp of hungry joy escaped her. God! The feel of his erection against her was mind-blowing, shattering, necessary, better than anything she’d ever known. Maybe because she was so damn wet and ready. So she did it again, rocking, rubbing, gasping.
With a growl of approval, he thrust his tongue deeper. Their teeth scraped together. Dizzying friction, welcome but torturous as her need ratcheted up another level. Then he angled his head for even deeper contact, and she felt the graze of his fangs. No, this was need. True, undiluted need. She wanted to be bitten, again and again and again. To be everything to him. Lover, sustenance, breath.
Her blood was heating unbearably, her stomach quivering. On and on the kiss continued, until there was no more oxygen left in her lungs. Until Nicolai was her only lifeline.
“Please,” she rasped. “Do it.”
“Gods, Jane. You’re…you’re like fire. I want to be burned.”
“Yes.”
He licked his way to the pulse hammering at the base of her neck. Was he going to bite her at last? But no, he continued laving at her pulse, sucking on it as one of his hands cupped her breast and kneaded. He pinched the throbbing nipple, and a lance of delicious sensation shot through her entire body.
Heaven and hell, so sweetly offered…how close she was to falling over the edge. But when she did, if she did—please, let her—where would she land? The clouds, or the fiery pits?
Only one way to find out…
“Nicolai?”
“Yes, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart. His sweetheart. “Bite me.”
“Jane.” A groan. “You tempt me. I shouldn’t.”
Shouldn’t, because he still thought she needed to heal? Or because a part of him still believed another female was out there, waiting for him? If the impossible happened and he was committed… Why impossible? she wondered next. Jane was here, wasn’t she? Nothing was impossible.
The knowledge caused the first tendrils of doubt to surface. Jane despised cheaters, but she also hated stories that forced two people to remain together because of a sense of duty, rather than love. Nicolai wasn’t in love. And if he had a woman, why hadn’t she searched for him? Saved him? Again, that made Jane think he couldn’t possibly be committed. No girlfriend would have let this guy go. Therefore, Jane could still have him.
But, she didn’t want him resenting her. Or feeling pressured. Or regretting what they did. “All right. We won’t—”
“We will. Just don’t want to hurt you.”
Relief. So much relief, ecstasy shimmering, within reach. “You could never hurt me. Nicolai, please. Do it.”
“Yes, yes, please. I’ll beg if necessary. I must have more….” His fangs returned to her neck and grazed her sizzling skin. “Must taste, will die if I do not.”
“Do it.” She hissed out a breath and stiffened as she mentally prepared herself for the onslaught. Of pleasure or pain, she wasn’t sure. All she knew was that she needed this, too.
He dragged in a shaky breath. “You are sure? I don’t have to. I can stop.”
“Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop. I’m just wary of the unknown.”
Liiick. “Do not fear, little Jane. I’ll be careful with you. Will control myself.” Then, with agonizing slowness, he sank his fangs into her neck, sucked on her, swallowed her blood.
Not once did she experience any pain, but the pleasure, oh, God, the pleasure…exactly as she’d imagined, beautiful in the most erotic way. The missing piece to the puzzle of her life.
The burn of his mouth, the suction of his tongue, both caused riotous reactions in her body. She clutched at his back, pulled at his hair, lost to a bliss that should have been impossible. Soon she was even writhing and thrashing against him, desperate for completion.
He purred against her, his breath warm. Then something hot, so wonderfully hot, entered her system. And okay, she hadn’t truly known pleasure before that moment. This was pleasure. Pleasure in its purest form. Strength, heat, power. She felt those, too.
Her thrashing became a single-minded pursuit for the elusive satisfaction that still hovered so close. She ground herself against his erection, over and over again, little shivers of sensation coursing through her every time he swallowed. God. She could climb him like a mountain. Could eat him up, one tasty bite at a time. Could remain in his arms forever.
He wrenched free of her vein. “Have to…stop. Can’t take…too much.”
There was no such thing as too much. “Take more.”
“Promised to be careful.” He licked the punctures, shooting more of that liquid heat into her system. He growled, “Now you are marked. Mine.
”
His, just as he was hers. Hers, and no one else’s.
“So good. Never tasted anything…so sweet. Addicted…already…”
Yes. Addicted. He was a drug. Her drug, and she doubted there was a cure.
With her painkillers, she’d had to stop using cold and flat. The withdrawals had been nightmarish. Yet she knew with sudden, shocking clarity that those would not compare to what she’d experience without Nicolai.
He replaced the hand on her breast with his mouth, flicking his white-hot tongue over her nipple, shooting more of those gratifying lances through her. He didn’t bite, though, not again.
She wanted him to bite her everywhere. “Please, Nicolai.”
“Anything you want, I will give you.”
She arched into him, locking her ankles at his lower back. The long, thick length of his erection hit her just right, more liquid dampening her panties. “I want it all.”
He still wore the loincloth, but the leather must have bunched up, freeing his cock, because she could feel the heat of his silky skin, soft yet, oh, so hard, pushing at the cotton in a bid to move it out of the way. Just a little more, and they’d be skin-to-skin. Strength-to-wet.
She ached for that. Wanted it with every fiber of her being. But Nicolai had other plans. He continued his downward journey, tracing her scars with his tongue, laving her navel. She would have been humbled by the decadent attention, but she was too aroused. Goose bumps broke out, sensitizing her skin to an almost unbearable degree.
“Mine,” he growled.
Yes. Yes! His. Always. She frowned. No, not always. The repercussions of his druglike lovemaking hit her like a hammer to the head. She could go home at any moment. This wasn’t permanent, and she couldn’t forget that fact. Couldn’t become attached to him. To this.
You already are.
Yes, she was.
How could she return to her old life now? She’d tasted the forbidden fruit, was addicted just as she’d suspected, and she needed more. More of his hands and his mouth and his teeth and his fingers. More of the heat and the sweetness and the ferocity. But if she didn’t finish this, if she attempted to walk away now, she would always wonder about what could have happened.
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