No Direction Home (Sweet Home Colorado)

by Jude Willhoff

  “Why would you say that?” A pulsing knot within Grace demanded more information. Why was Cindy taking this so lightly, taking Seth’s side? She was deluding herself. Seth had conned his way into Nana's home and heart. He had been in prison. The man was trouble. Or could Cindy be right? Was she over reacting? She was confused as she listened to her friend.

  “You know how everybody talks in this town. Word gets around. If he was a bad person we'd know about it by now. Have you forgotten the hometown grapevine?” asked Cindy.

  “How could I forget?” The ache in Grace’s chest became a sick and acid gnawing with old insecurities running rampant. I’m sure Lee and I were the talk of the town when he dumped me in the nursing home.” She realized her voice had drifted into a hushed whisper. Why on earth had she brought that up? It was definitely something she didn't want to discuss.

  Cindy leaned down and gave her a hug. “Honey, you're still the talk of the town, but in a good way. After what you’ve been through, everyone is happy you’re doing so much better. They’re all going to be happy to hear you’ve come home. We all know Lee is a jerk. It wasn't your fault. We’re here for you, to help in any way we can. We all care about you.”

  She cringed at the thought of people discussing her love life or lack thereof. “I know they do, but I hate being the subject of gossip.” Feeling utterly miserable, Grace closed her eyes for an instant. “I want to be left alone to deal with what I’m going through in my own way. I’m doing fine now. I have it under control.” She sat taller in the chair, her resolve gaining in strength tamping her insecurities back down.

  “I’m glad to hear it. You do look great, especially with this new haircut.” She laughed and finished blow drying the new style, fluffing the soft hair around Grace’s face.

  “Yes, it feels good.” She smiled and shook her head, watching the newly trimmed blond hair come alive across her shoulders in the mirror. “Thanks, Cindy, I really needed this. You’re the best.” The old saying was true, when you look better, you feel better. The haircut was going to help her in so many ways.

  “Hey, want to go to the Starlight Inn on Friday night for dinner? Charlie would love to see you. Remember he always had a crush on you? He’s proud of the changes he’s made at the bar and likes to show the place off.” She winked at Grace. "And who knows, maybe we'll get lucky and dance the night away with a handsome hunk or two."

  Grace’s smile wavered. “I don’t know. I don’t go out and do much dancing these days.” She could probably manage a slow dance, but most dancing would be too painful.

  “Okay, we don’t dance. We’ll have a nice dinner and catch up on old times." When Grace shrugged her shoulders, Cindy gave her a warning look. "I’ll pick you up at seven—I won’t take no for an answer.”

  “I...I guess.” She only hesitated because she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been out with friends. It was time for her to shake things up and stop feeling sorry for herself. She’d go. “It sounds like fun. You’ll have to tell me about our other friends. What they're doing and who’s with who these days.”

  Cindy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, it’s a regular Peyton Place here in Cedar Falls...not. Truthfully, it’s as boring as ever. You haven’t missed a thing.”

  Cindy handed her a mirror and comb. “I know you have to do the finishing touches. I hate working on other hairstylists. They're the worst people to deal with and you’re no exception. Tell me what you think.”

  “It looks good.” Grace ran the wide-toothed comb through her hair, holding the mirror so she could see the back of her head. “Thanks. I’d better go. Gloria has someone waiting for you and she’s giving me the look.”

  “Don’t worry about it. She’s okay, tries to keep us on schedule. She’s kind of cranky cause she just found out she’s pregnant.”

  Lucky Lady, wish it were me. Grace pushed herself out of the chair. Everywhere she turned, people were having babies, everyone except her.

  Cindy tapped her elbow. “Listen, I really want to do the dinner thing with you. Don’t back out on me. If you’re not feeling well, let me know and I’ll bring carryout to the ranch and we’ll do it there.”

  “I’d love to go to the Starlight and see Charlie." It was time she stopped hiding away at home. Time she took her life back. "I’ll be okay. Let’s do it.”

  “Great, I’ll see you Friday.”

  Grace walked to the reception desk to pay Gloria. “How much is the haircut?”

  “Fifteen dollars, please.” Gloria smiled. “Sometime I'd like to talk to you more about working on movie sets.”

  “Sure, next time I'm in you can ask me anything you want." She handed Gloria a fifty. “Give her the change.” In LA it had cost Grace a hundred-fifty dollars per cut and they didn’t do half as good a job as Cindy.

  “Would you like to schedule for a trim in six weeks? She stays booked.”

  “Yes, of course, make me an appointment.”

  Gloria wrote the time and date on a card and handed it to Grace. “We’ll see you on the fourteenth.”

  “Okay.” She glanced back to see Cindy escorting another woman to the shampoo bowl. It was a busy salon. Good for her. She seemed happy doing what she loved. Grace envied her when she thought about what she might do with the rest of her life. Starting over wasn’t easy, and living with chronic pain had become a full-time job. Hey, maybe she should write a book about living with it.

  She'd play with the idea later, but right now it had been a full day and she was feeling it. Picking up her Colorado tags, buying a new coat and having her hair done had exhausted her. So much for pacing her activities. Grace knew she had pushed it and would pay the price tonight with the increased aches and pains in her hips and legs, but it was worth it. She was happy to see Cindy and it had been a good day, except for finding out about Seth’s past. Life would’ve been so much simpler without him being an ex-con.

  Now she knew. She had to find out why he had been in prison. How do I go about something like that? Maybe there were records about such things, open to the public. She’d check it out when she went into Denver to meet with her new doctor. In the meantime, she’d keep an eye on him and the goings-on at the ranch. Apparently, he had ulterior motives for everything he did. No matter how convincing he seemed she couldn’t trust him. Somehow she had to protect Nana.

  Deep down Grace had to admit she wasn't afraid of Seth. She didn't think he would physically harm her or Nana, but they didn't really know what the man was capable of doing. Fear of the unknown and apprehension rampaged through her mind ratcheting up her pain level.

  The big question was...did Nana know? Should she say anything? She didn’t want to concern her. She would worry enough for both of them. But...after all, it was Nana’s home and her business. Sheesh, of all things, she had to deal with a charming ex-con.

  ***

  Pulling into the late afternoon traffic, Grace spotted Seth driving in the opposite direction down Main Street. He was alone in his old, beat-up red Chevy. The pick-up truck was rusted out around the fenders and had a piece of cardboard stuck in one of the side windows. Having seen better days, it looked like it should be put out of its misery.

  Her stomach churned in a crazy happy dance when Seth waved as he passed her car. It was official-—she’d clearly lost her mind. Her head told her she shouldn’t be feeling this way, but mixed feelings surged through her body and only confused her more. She had never been attracted to the cowboys at the ranch. Her taste had always run to the executive type. Her inner voice warned her. Stay clear, Grace. Yet, even knowing he was an ex-con, she was drawn to the man, like peanut butter to jelly. Maybe he had jaywalked or something equally innocuous—he didn’t seem to be the violent type.

  She decided not to mention anything about Seth to Nana just yet. Nana and Cindy both approved of the man and when it came to most people, they had good instincts. For now, Grace decided she would give him the benefit of the doubt but watch him like a hawk.

  When she entered
the house her mouth watered at the aroma of roasting meat. She hadn’t taken time to eat lunch and she was famished. A clatter of dishes told her Nana was fixing dinner in the kitchen. “Hi, something sure smells good.”

  “It’s a New England pot roast. Seth started it earlier today in the crock pot.” She smiled, while shaving carrots into the salad she was working on. “He always helps me with the meals when I work at the hospital. All I have to do is toss the salad and heat up some rolls.”

  “He can cook, too?" Hmmm...who would’ve thought, a man who would help cook. In the eight years she’d been married, Lee had never helped with the cooking. Grace picked a piece of cucumber from Nana’s cutting board and nibbled on it.

  “Yes, Seth helps me with lots of things. How did your day go? Your hair looks great. How's Cindy?”

  “Thanks, she’s good. We had a nice chat. She hasn’t changed a bit and seems happy.” Grace went to the refrigerator and poured a glass of ice water. “We’re going out to dinner on Friday night.”

  “That’s nice, dear. I’m sure it’ll be fun for you to catch up on old times.” Nana sprinkled more shaved carrot into the salad bowl.

  “Where are Seth and Jamie? I passed him on Main Street.” Grace wondered where he had been going and was still upset at her reaction to seeing him. She looked around the kitchen for something else to eat, sipping the cool water, keeping her thoughts of Seth to herself.

  “He went to pick Jamie up from the daycare center. She stays there after school when I work at the hospital.” Nana continued breaking lettuce into the large bowl. “They should be here soon. Tell me, what did you think of Jamie? Isn’t she the cutest thing?” “She seems sweet.” She picked a piece of carrot off the cutting board, thinking Jamie was the kind of child she would’ve liked to have. “I haven’t been around many kids, but she seems okay. Sure has a lot of energy.”

  “You’re going to get along great with her.”

  “Maybe, we’ll see.” She couldn't afford to get too involved with the little girl. Grace had to face the facts. The man had a prison record. She’d protect Nana’s holdings and the man would eventually leave with his child and take Grace’s heart with them if she let herself become too attached to the child.

  A loud noise sounded from the back entryway as Seth and Jamie tromped into the kitchen. “Wait, Jamie, we have to take your muddy boots off. Remember Nana’s rules. Boots off at the door,” Seth said when he hung up their coats and hats.

  Grace watched the interplay between father and daughter as he pulled the red snow boots gently off her feet, listening attentively to her chatter about a book she had read at school. He seemed tender with her. What could he have done to go to jail? Had he hurt someone? He didn't seem the type, but what if he had? Her imagination was on overload.

  Jamie glanced up to see her watching them. A hopeful smile lit up her small cherubic face. “Hey, you did something with your hair. I like it. Are you ready for our tea party?” She had the sort of face Grace would have a hard time saying no to.

  “Well, thanks, but I haven’t been to a tea party in quite some time.” She pushed her wayward thoughts aside and exchanged glances with Seth over Jamie's head. He grinned and nodded okay. “You’ll have to show me how it works after dinner.” It didn't matter that her father was an ex-con—the child was delightful.

  “Oh boy, I’ll go get everything set up and call you to come to tea.”

  “I’ll be waiting.” Grace couldn’t help but smile when the energetic little girl ran out of the room.

  “Having a tea party is her favorite past time. Usually, it’s me and Ollie who are trapped into it.” Seth smiled his slow sexy cowboy grin.

  She would bet such a grin had scored big with the ladies. And she wasn’t immune either as her heart pounded against her ribcage. Stop it. Grace warned her traitorous heart—you know very little about this man and what you do know is bad.

  Nana bustled into the dining room, laying fresh linen napkins on the shining oak table. “I thought we’d eat in here tonight to celebrate your homecoming. Grace, would you finish setting the table for us, while I get the salad? Everything is about ready.” She wiped her hands against her apron. “Seth, you’ve got some mail over on the hall table. It’s about time for you and Jamie to go wash up. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”

  “Yes, ma’am, I’ll take care of it. Sure smells good.” Seth smiled and glanced at Nana when he headed toward the back of the house.

  Grace watched Seth tear the unopened letter into small pieces and toss them into the trash. Now that’s strange. I loved it when I got a letter from home. He must really hate his relatives. She pulled the dishes out of the cupboard in surprise. “Nana, this is the china Papa got you for your anniversary. I didn’t know you used it for everyday.”

  Nana laughed and waved a dismissive hand. “I decided to use the things I enjoy, now, while I still can.” She sighed with a faraway misty look in her warm brown eyes. “Many of my friends have passed on. Each day is a special occasion. It’s one more day God has graciously given me.”

  A chill passed over Grace’s heart at the thought of Nana ever going away. “Don’t talk like that. You have lots of days ahead of you.”

  “I like to think so, but you never know. Three months ago, Sara Benton and I went out to lunch together and had a wonderful time. Dr. Kruger gave us both our vitamin shots that morning. She was in good spirits.” She sighed. “That evening she had a heart attack and died sitting on her couch watching a movie.”

  “Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry. By all means, use the china and anything else you want.” Nana had the right idea. There were many things Grace had always said she would do later...thinking she would always have later. Now, because of her health, she couldn’t do many of them.

  After dinner, Nana went to visit a friend and Grace agreed to attend the tea party in the living room with Jamie. Seth sat on the couch reading the Denver Post. To anyone looking in from the outside, they would present the image of a loving family, enjoying the evening. A pain knifed through her heart as she longed for a family of her own.

  She watched Jamie carefully pour the Kool-Aid from the small china tea pot into the matching flowered cups sitting on the coffee table. Ollie lay on a cushion close to the table, wearing a pink doll dress, pearls and a floppy pink hat. He didn’t seem to mind. Apparently, he had been through this routine many times and enjoyed snoring his way through the tea party. Jamie handed a filled cup to Grace.

  “Thank you. It looks delicious.”

  “You’re welcome. This is special tea made by the fairies. It will grant us our secret wishes.” Jamie giggled. “But first, you have to believe.”

  “Ummm...special magic tea, I could use some of that.” Grace sipped the cherry Kool-Aid and watched the charming little girl, wishing it was magic tea so she could make her aches and pains go away.

  “Then you’ve come to the right tea party. When you drink my magic tea, special things happen. Ollie and I have a tea party at least once a week and now you can do it with us.”

  “I’d love to.” Grace sipped the drink. “How do the fairies get in to make your magic tea?”

  Jamie smiled and carefully set Ollie’s tea in front of the sleeping cat. “They come late at night while I’m sleeping and refill my tea jug. I leave them M&M’s.”

  “How nice, have you ever heard them?”

  Her big blue eyes sparkled. “No, silly, they’re magic. You can’t hear or see them.”

  Grace smiled at Jamie. “Oh, I see. Magic fairies you can’t hear or see trade you magic tea for M&M’s.”

  Jamie laughed and returned a grin. “Yep, for M&M's.” She glanced toward her father. “Dad, come and have tea with us.”

  Seth looked up from the sports page and smiled. “You’re enjoying yourself without me. I want to read my newspaper.”

  “Ah, Dad, come on. Play with us.” Jamie pouted her rosebud lips together and gave him a pleading look with big sad eyes. “Please, please?”


  “Well, okay.” Smiling, he put down the newspaper and joined them, sitting on the floor across the coffee table from Grace. Ollie continued to ignore the whole thing.

  “I’m here. Where’s my magic tea?” He reached over and tickled Jamie’s tummy. “The tickling bug is gonna get you, pretty girl.”

  She giggled and snorted. “Quit it, Dad.” Eventually, she stopped laughing when he leaned back against the sofa.

  The playfulness between father and daughter was a beautiful thing to observe. Grace sat back taking it all in, even though she distrusted him, something in his manner soothed her.

  Sitting up and catching her breath, Jamie poured another cup and handed it to her dad. The last of the Kool-Aid dripped from the small tea pot. “I’ll go get some more magic tea.” Jamie smiled and carried the tea pot to the kitchen.

  Seth leaned forward and lowered his voice. “Thank you for indulging her imagination. Since she was old enough to talk, she’s always pretended magic fairies would grant her special wishes.”

  His voice, deep and sensual, sent a ripple of awareness through Grace. Sitting this close to the man caused her heart to beat an Irish jig. She had to keep talking. Being around Seth drove her logical mind right out the window. She glanced down at her cup, tracing the flower pattern with her fingertip. Her voice came out in a whisper. "What does she wish for?"

  He shrugged. “She won’t tell me. Says if she tells me it won’t come true, but I have my suspicions it’s for a mom.”

  Grace glanced up, noticing a faint tremor in his voice as though some deep emotion had touched him. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry,” she whispered.

  “No, it’s okay. It’s been just Jamie and me for a long time and we’ve worked things out between us. But starting school and playing with the kids who have moms has made her think more about not having one.”

  “She’s a sweet child. You’ve done a good job with her. It’s obvious she loves you,” she said, surprised by this unpredictable man. Who would’ve thought he would be this concerned about his daughter not having a mother?