He’d been looking pained since the topic of Tara came up, but now he laughed. “Those all fit Tara, all right. But they don’t fit you.”
“I’m not a snake or a she cat, I promise.”
He rolled over and propped himself up on his elbows to peer down at Haycat, who was curled in a ball at the foot of the bed. The moment he looked at her, she began to purr.
“I don’t know.” He gave Lindsey an embarrassed smile. “I kind of like she cats.”
The air cleared visibly as he and Lindsey laughed together. Haycat, as always, stretched and strolled up to rub her head against his hand. Lindsey fussed over the cat, and he wondered if she’d guessed that the animal slept with him every night. He’d hoped that would stay a secret, but it didn’t matter now.
There was only one secret between them that mattered, and maybe he could address that now.
“Why did you marry him?” he asked.
“Rodger?” Lindsey flushed and so did he, remembering the dreadful dinner with her ex-husband. There was a gloss of tears in Lindsey’s eyes again, and he had to resist the urge to take back the question, to protect her from the pain of her past. He needed to know what made Lindsey tick, and her marriage didn’t fit the woman he’d come to know. She’d gone away a tomboy and come back a woman who cared so much about money and status that she’d married a jerk. Now the tomboy was back—the real Lindsey, he believed. But why had she changed for that brief, disastrous period of time? What made her defy the grandfather she loved to marry Rodger with a D?
“You probably know I lived with my aunt after my parents died. My father’s sister. She didn’t care for this side of the family. I think Grace was too much for her.”
Shane grinned. “She’s too much for most people.”
“My aunt believed in a more traditional life. Grace and Bud valued love; she valued success. And Rodger fit into her world.” She sighed. “I didn’t see my grandparents again until I graduated from vet school. I guess I’d changed some. I don’t know. I really fell hard for Rodger, and when we got engaged, I decided I should get to know them again. I had such fond memories of the ranch. Rodger encouraged me, and I owe him for that, I suppose.”
“That was decent of him, encouraging you to mend fences with your family.”
“I thought so too, but his motives were all wrong. He thought Bud was some rich gentleman rancher. He’d already started talking about ‘the ranch’ as if he owned it before he even saw it.”
“Didn’t that set off any alarms?”
Shane wished he could take the question back. Lindsey had been young, after all, and naive. But she didn’t seem offended.
“Love is blind. Bud saw right through him. Told me not to marry him, but I wouldn’t listen. Finally, he told me not to ever come back if I did.”
“That’s pretty harsh.”
“He was trying to save me. He thought maybe I’d see the light if he let me know just how much he disliked Rodger, but it didn’t work. Even though he was every bit as bad as Bud said he was, I chose him over my family.” She looked down at her hands. “It was a really bad decision.”
He nodded. “I know all about bad decisions,” he said. “Although mine led to Cody, so I’m glad it happened.”
To his surprise, Lindsey looked away, and when she glanced back he could see the faint trail of a tear in the dust on her cheek, along with a smudge where she’d wiped it away. “Kids make everything worthwhile, I guess,” she said. “I wish I’d been that lucky.”
He didn’t know what he’d stepped in, but it felt like it was the sort of thing that stuck to the bottom of your shoe. This kind of emotional back and forth made him feel like a fast horse dodging through a prairie dog town, trying to get to a green pasture. All sorts of good things were on the other side, but one bad move could break your leg and get you shot.
“How come you became a vet?” he asked. That seemed safe enough.
“Bud and Grace,” she said. “They had old horses even back then. I remember being stunned when they told me my favorite mare wasn’t worth tons of money. I thought every horse was worth its weight in gold. Discovering people put old horses down for being ‘useless’ made me want to save them somehow.”
She stood and stared through the sheer curtains at the open fields beyond. He wished he could paint the picture she made standing there in the morning light, beautiful in her nakedness but sad too. He wanted to kiss that sadness away—to erase it somehow.
“But after I graduated, I wanted to impress Rodger.” She sighed. “He was a doctor and made a lot of money, and he acted like what I did wasn’t valuable. So I set out to prove him wrong.”
“He was wrong.”
She turned to look at him, and he felt strangely shy. Talking about the past felt more intimate than sex.
He rose and went to her, holding her from behind. He wanted to tell her she didn’t have to do anything to be valuable. That just being her kind, sweet, sprightly self brightened his world. That he wanted her there, right in the middle of his life, and Cody’s, forever.
The words were there, on the tip of his tongue, just waiting to be said. And though he’d never thought of himself as a coward, he knew he didn’t have the courage to set them free.
* * *
Lindsey looked down at Shane’s tanned hands clasped over her pale stomach. From her first day at the ranch, she’d resisted him. First she’d mistrusted him; then she’d misunderstood him. But now, she knew him, deep down, and loved him.
Loved him.
He kissed her hair. “You keep wondering why Bud left you the ranch. Maybe he knew you’d gotten off course. Maybe he was giving you a chance to get back on track.” She placed her hands over his, and he clasped them immediately, interlacing his fingers with hers. “Maybe he knew this was the only way to bring you back where you belong.”
“You know, you might be right.”
She turned and embraced him, resting her head against his chest and listening to the steady thump-thump of his heart.
“Maybe he left me the ranch so I could save myself.” She was talking more to herself than to Shane. “Maybe he understood.”
She could feel Shane relaxing and knew he was smiling when he rested his cheek against her hair. “I’m sure he did. Your granddad loved you.”
Lindsey stood there, absorbing Shane’s warmth and remembering the dream she’d dreamed so long ago. She’d pictured a sort of Peaceable Kingdom, an animal sanctuary populated with homeless dogs and cats and horses. Now she pictured herself and Shane right in the center of it, making it work.
“You’re right.” She pushed him away, feeling suddenly sure of the path before her. “My grandfather’s opened a door for me, but I have to be the one to walk through it.” She stood up on tiptoe and kissed him, a big, silly smack on the lips. “You’re awesome, you know that? I know what to do now. I need to get started.”
“Started on what?”
“Plans.” She gave him a mysterious smile. “I have some ideas for this place—big ideas.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t change too much.”
“I won’t. But it’s time for me to learn all I can about the place, and to put my own stamp on what we do, okay? I think I know what Bud wanted now. I think I’m sure.”
He was smiling slightly as she walked away, and she held that image of him in her head as long as she could. Because she wasn’t sure, but she thought maybe, just maybe, she’d found the man she was supposed to be with and the work she was meant to do, right here in the one spot in the world where she belonged.
And when the universe pulled everything together like that, you had to listen.
* * *
Shane was stepping out of the shower when he heard the sound of sawing and hammering coming from the direction of the barn.
He’d just come back from chaperoning a field trip with Cody, and he was exhausted from wrangling thirty first graders through the state capital. They’d sat through a long, dull session of the s
tate legislature, watching as their bill to declare the lodgepole pine the state tree was passed into law.
He’d been looking forward to a hot shower and a cold beer when he got home, but the beer would have to wait, because the hammering meant someone was working on a project. On his ranch. And he didn’t know what it was.
It’s Lindsey’s ranch, he reminded himself. Lindsey’s.
She was probably building some kind of elaborate palace for those danged chickens. He couldn’t really object to that, especially if it meant the birds would be cooped up, where they couldn’t ruin another pair of his boots. He jogged over to the barn, hair dripping wet, shirt half-buttoned.
When he saw who was on the business side of the hammer, he felt a rush of relief. Whatever was being done, it would be done right, because Riley, the woman who ran the hardware store, was a genius with anything related to building.
But what was she building? Piles of two-by-fours and sheets of plywood were stacked in the barn’s wide apron, and rolls of wire and fencing rested against the front of the barn. This looked like much more than a mere chicken coop.
Acid stewed low in his gut as he knelt beside Riley.
“Hey.”
She flicked her long, pale ponytail aside and looked up from her measuring tape.
“Hey, Lockhart.”
That was a Riley thing. She called all the men by their last names, as if she was one of the guys. It probably helped her blend into the world of band saws and two-by-fours, drywall and electrical tape.
“Who’s watching the store?”
“Ed’s taking a turn.”
“So did Lindsey hire you to do something?”
“Yeah.” She stood. “I’m converting the horse stalls on this side into kennels,” she said. “It’ll be cool. The dogs’ll have inside space in the barn, and individual runs outside. The runs will open up to a group play area.”
“Dogs? Group play area?”
She nodded again. “Yeah, for the shelter.”
“Shelter?”
Riley grimaced. “Shit. You didn’t know, did you?”
Chapter 46
Shane didn’t have to look far to find Lindsey. She was just outside the barn’s back door, grooming Parsnip and singing her heart out. Normally, he’d have stopped to watch and listen. He’d have admired the way she moved, the unself-conscious way she sang slightly out of tune.
But today, all he could think of was the time she’d spent planning and dreaming, working out her big ideas without saying a word to him.
It was disrespectful, a slap in the face. He ought to be furious, but instead he felt confused and nauseous, as if his doubts and fears and questions were all tangled into a knot in his gut. And if he was honest with himself, those doubts weren’t just about the ranch. They were the same fears he always felt when he found himself caring too much about someone.
Lindsey dropped a currycomb into a bucket and plucked out a comb. Whispering softly to the horse, she began working knots out of her mane. He felt his heartbeat shift into high gear and knew, just knew, what his problem was.
He was in love with her. Too much in love. His hands shook lately, and he was alternately cold with fear and hot with desire.
How could he possibly feel this way about a woman who was working behind his back, changing everything he cared about? Making the ranch into an animal sanctuary would take away everything he’d worked for—his job, his livelihood, his purpose.
He ought to just leave. Go work for Ridge and Brady. But leaving the Lazy Q meant leaving Lindsey—and he couldn’t. He just couldn’t.
“Oh, good. It’s you.” She grinned at him over Parsnip’s neck. “I need to talk to you.”
“No kidding.” He bit the words off sharply. “I just ran into Riley over at the barn. She tells me she’s building dog kennels.”
She stopped her combing mid-tangle, her pink cheeks going pale. He didn’t know when she’d planned to tell him what she was doing, but he was sure now that it hadn’t been today.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you, but you were busy. I didn’t know Riley would be here so fast. Usually she’s booked up so far in advance…” Her words faded away when she turned to sit down and saw his face. “What I’m doing is—”
“I know what you’re doing.” Interrupting was rude, but he didn’t care. “You’re making your dreams come true.” He hated the mocking tone of his voice, but he couldn’t help himself.
She went back to her grooming, working at a tangle with her fingers. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“It’s not bad.” He leaned against the barn wall, taking a deep breath and doing his best to exhale his anger. Lindsey was naive, that was all. She honestly believed she could make this work, and her motives were pure. That was what he loved about her. She truly wanted to make the world a better, kinder place.
She wasn’t deliberately sabotaging the Lazy Q. He needed to handle this without hurting her. He’d swallow his pride and anger and pain, and be his best self. Whoever that was.
“How are you going to pay for it?” He rested one hip against the rail and folded his arms over his chest. “All those strays have to eat, you know. And how are you going to find adopters? You’re miles from the nearest town, and Wynott’s hardly big enough to absorb all the critters you’ll end up with. It’s crazy, Lindsey. It won’t work.”
“Yes, it will.” She rested her forearms on the mare’s broad back. “I’ve filed for nonprofit status, and designed kennels and runs for dogs and cats. I took out a loan with my half of the practice as collateral, and Riley helped me make sure the renovations meet state standards.” She paused for breath and went on before he could say a word. “I’ve researched grants that are available for what we’ll be doing, and worked out a public relations campaign. We’ll start with local news, then spread out. We’ll have a camp too, for kids like Sierra’s, so we can teach them young about caring for animals. Rescue Ranch, we’ll call it.”
She leaned forward as she spoke, waving the comb to paint pictures in the air. Parsnip stood patiently, providing a solid place for Lindsey’s presentation, but Shane didn’t hear half of what she said.
“You’ve been working on this idea for a long time.”
She nodded, looking miserable.
“When were you going to tell me?”
“I kept meaning to.” She pushed away from the horse and dropped the comb in the bucket with a loud clang. Startled, Parsnip kicked up her heels and ran a few steps, then forgot what she was running from and relaxed again. Lindsey walked over and smacked her rump, sending her off to join the other horses at a sedate walk.
“I was gone one day,” he said. “One day, for Cody’s field trip. And you managed to change everything while my back was turned. Because you’ve been planning. Scheming.”
“Not scheming. I don’t scheme, Shane.”
She was right. He knew she hadn’t meant to hurt him. But when he looked over at the barn and pictured it teeming with old dogs, stray cats, and ancient horses, he saw them eating their sorry hearts out, contributing nothing to the operation of the ranch. And the herd—it would be gone, no doubt, sold off to pay for this foolishness.
He couldn’t let that happen. Unless and until Lindsey fired him, he was the foreman of the Lazy Q, and it was his job to make sure the ranch stayed in the black. That meant it was his duty to derail this crazy idea before Lindsey went too far.
Sighing, he plucked a blade from the tall grass and stuck the tender stem in his mouth. Leaning up against the barn beside Lindsey, he shoved his hands in his pockets.
“It’s just not practical, you know?” He gentled his tone as best he could. “At least start small.” He shook his head ruefully. “I guess we could rescue some dogs since the kennels are probably half-built already.”
Her expression didn’t change, so he tried again.
“Look at the horses. Grace has ten of ’em now, and more are coming all the time. They
eat a big chunk of the profits, but it’s okay. It’s her hobby, you know? And you can have a hobby too.”
She pushed off the barn and gave him a long, hard look.
“It’s not a hobby, Shane. It’s a mission. And I’m doing it. I’m not letting any man stomp on my dreams, not ever again.” She kicked at a stone with the toe of her boot. “A hobby. Thanks for taking me seriously.”
She tossed her hair and gave him a cold, hard glare.
And in that moment, he knew he’d lost her.
* * *
Lindsey had known Shane wouldn’t like her plans at first, but she’d figured he’d at least listen and think them through. She’d thought he respected her enough that he’d try to make it work.
Apparently, she’d been wrong. He didn’t respect her, and he wasn’t going to listen to her ideas. He was no different from Rodger.
No. That wasn’t fair. She’d looked into Shane’s eyes when they were making love, and she’d seen him watch when Cody played. This man had a heart far bigger than he realized, but he was afraid to open it, afraid to take risks. And that fear extended to every part of his life. He wasn’t the kind of guy who’d step off a cliff just to see if he’d land on his feet.
That’s why they were so good together. Her cliff-jumping tendencies balanced out his stick-in-the-mud stubbornness. They could still be a team. She just had to make him listen.
She didn’t want to make a choice between the man of her dreams and the life she wanted to live. She wanted both.
If that was greedy, then she was the greediest woman in the world.
“Listen,” she said. “If everyone was practical, there’d be no art, no music, and certainly no animal shelters. There’d be no people shelters for the homeless either. They’d just die on the streets.” She spun to face him. “There’d be no foster homes for kids. I guess we’d just give up on boys like Josh and Isaiah.”
He blinked. She had him now.
How to Wrangle a Cowboy Page 29
