by Jenna Kernan
She moved closer, not walking, but descending as if she rode some escalator that he could not see. One moment she was high above him and the next she was there before him, pinning him with eyes black as the holes in space. He had a feeling of irrational dread.
And then he knew who she was. So this was Hihankara, the elder who measured souls to judge if they were worthy to continue or be cast off the road.
He gazed down below his feet, looking through the gaps between the stars. Why hadn’t he seen it before? The spinning vortex yawned like a great sprawling hurricane beneath him. But that was no storm. He was looking into the Circle of Ghosts. Each tiny wisp of each immortal soul combined with the others to give the cloud its shape and eternal spin. They trod from now until forever in that dismal mass.
Had he walked the Red Road? he wondered. Had his deeds been virtuous enough to overcome his mistakes? Or would he suffer the Circle? He thought of the Skinwalker he had shot on the word of his partner and thought he deserved to fall.
Cesar recalled his life now, watching the details flow by as Hihankara stared down at him. She was enormous, the size of an elephant by comparison, and strong and able enough to easily cast any soul from her path. How long would he fall before he hit the Circle?
He now saw that what he first assumed were wrinkles were actually an elaborate series of swirling blue-black tattoos covering her forehead and cheeks. They ran in twin arrows down her nose, curling over each nostril and continued around her mouth to coil on her chin like a resting rattlesnake.
“You seek to pass?” said Hihankara.
He did not know. He wanted to go back to Bess, but then he remembered she did not want him.
The Spirit leaned down so that her long flat nose nearly touched his.
“Show me your tattoos.”
Cesar held out his arms and was shocked to see that they were as transparent as water except for the swirling silver spiral on his right arm and the symbol of a human hand upon the left.
“Hmm, a Soul Whisperer. That is odd, as there is yet no other of your kind upon the earth. Bad. The Balance will suffer.”
“May I pass?” he asked.
She stepped aside, but he did not continue on his way. Nor did he feel the exhalation or relief he had expected. He had led a good life, despite his mistakes.
“What of Bess?”
“The raven? Nuisance, that one, always flapping and cawing her questions to those who have earned their peace.”
“If I cross, can she come and speak to me?”
“Not until she crosses.”
“But she told me she speaks to departed souls, that she calls into the Spirit World and they answer.”
“True. But she cannot call the ones she loves.”
“The ones she…but she doesn’t love me. She told me so herself.”
Hihankara laughed and the road beneath him shook as if rocked by an earthquake. “Did she now? Well, then it must be true. Ravens are not the sort of birds to deceive anyone, or play tricks or outwit men. No, wait, they are that sort.”
“She loves me?”
Hihankara exhaled so forcefully that the stars brightened and one streaked away from the road, falling in a shower of sparks.
“Now look what you made me do. The Road has another hole in it. Harder to replace than cobblestone, I can tell you. If you are going…” She motioned, making a shooing gesture with both long, angular hands. She said if. Did Cesar have a choice?
Bess flew faster than she ever had and still it was not fast enough. How long did it take a soul to cross the Ghost Road? All she knew was that Cesar was ahead of her and she had to catch up.
How would she know him from the others? They all looked the same here, white energy, pulsing with power. She began to cry out his name, over and over until her voice grew hoarse and crackled like dry oak leaves skittering across the frozen ground. And still she cried his name again and again.
“Stop that racket,” growled Hihankara, creeping down the road to wave her arms.
Bess veered and rolled, sweeping past her.
“He has the proper tattoos. Let him pass, Raven,” Hihankara cried.
Let him pass. That meant he had not crossed the threshold yet. Bess flew faster. Ahead of her was the shimmering veil that blocked her view of the world beyond the Way of Souls. If he crossed that barrier, she would never see him again.
“Cesar!”
One of the souls stopped at the threshold.
Bess swept down to him, seeing now the familiar aura of the man she had loved, staring at his naked soul.
“Cesar, don’t go. Don’t leave me behind.”
He hovered there, his aura pulsing more brightly. If he moved even another few inches he would be lost to her.
“Come back, Cesar. Tuff has healed your body. It is whole and waiting for you. Please, Cesar. Don’t leave me.”
She could not hear him, but she knew his thoughts, felt them as she always did when communicating with a soul. What she felt most strongly was his indecision. He wanted to end his lonely existence, trapped in a body on the earthly plane. He didn’t believe himself worthy of love, but hoped to find peace in the Spirit World. He moved a little closer to the veil, drawn, it seemed, by some power she could not recognize.
How could she compete with all he would find there?
Bess flapped her wings before him, blocking his way.
Hihankara crept up behind them.
“Are you here to do what is best for him or what is best for you, little Raven?”
Bess felt her stomach drop. She didn’t know. All she knew was that she needed Cesar and she would fight anything and anyone who tried to take him.
“You can’t have him,” she called as she beat her tired wings.
Cesar’s thoughts came to her again. Is it my choice or yours?
Bess did not know if he spoke to her or to Hihankara, but it was the old wise Spirit who answered.
“There have been those who came this far and then turned back, some to their body and some to wait as ghosts for the one they cannot leave. But you have the proper tattoos, so you may cross.”
And see my brother.
Cesar moved toward the veil and Bess beat him back with her wings again, desperate now to stop him.
“Your brother is not here,” said Hihankara, and pointed below them, to the yawning vortex of misery. “But there.”
Cesar’s soul vibrated and Bess felt the agony sawing through him.
But it was an accident, a fall. Surely he deserves to enter the Spirit World.
Hihankara shook her massive head. “I pushed him off the Way of Souls myself. I don’t make mistakes.”
“But why?” asked Bess.
“Because he intentionally took a life.”
Bess heard Cesar’s thoughts as a shout in her mind.
What life?
Hihankara narrowed her billiard-ball-size eyes at him. “His own.”
Cesar’s anguish reviberted within her. He was only a child.
“No,” said Bess, but she knew it could be true. Suicide was the murder of oneself, regardless of how old Carlos had been. As far as Hihankara was concerned any soul who intentionally took an innocent life must serve time in the Circle.
“He did not fall,” said the ancient. “He jumped and in that instant his duty became your burden, Soul Whisperer. Did you not wonder why you have three gifts? Or why you discovered the last two so late? You are a Truth Seeker by birth. But the Whispering and the Memory Walking came because of him.”
It’s not possible, thought Cesar.
Bess did not know how much longer she could fly. Soon she would fall from the sky and into the circle where no living thing had ever gone.
Hihankara spoke. “When his brother learned what he was, he understood the path he must walk and rejected his duty.”
“How could he keep this a secret from his parents?” asked Bess. “I thought the Niyanoka knew the gifts of their children and helped them learn to use them.”
“Unless you use your Memory Walking gift to erase the memories of your parents each time they learned of it. That one could not keep up the ruse any longer. There were too many memories to erase and the guilt was too much to bear. So he jumped.”
Cesar’s denial turned to astonished silence. Bess absorbed the black grief that poured from him, sharing the burden. Her wings grew heavy as if coated with tar. She needed to land, but there was no place here to rest.
My prayers? asked Cesar.
“Were not enough. You have lifted him to the highest level. In a few more mortal years he would have been free and moved to the Spirit World.”
But my parents pray for him.
“Not often. They believe he crossed. But you cannot help him now for you are bound for the Spirit World.”
I want to see him.
Her smile held no mercy. “Perhaps, someday, when he serves his time. But there is no seeing in the Circle of Ghosts. Each soul is blind, alone, while crushed against all the rest. They walk unseeing, ever searching for what they have not earned.”
“What?” he asked.
“Peace.”
Bess’s tired muscles began to cramp. The vortex yawned beneath her.
Hihankara beckoned. “Cross over now. Your grandparents await.”
Bess spoke in desperation. “He is here only because one of Nagi’s ghosts took possession of a human and shot him to protect his Halflings.”
Hihankara’s expression blackened and a red aura of fury surrounded her. “Nagi? That one again? I spoke to him about his uncollected ghosts after the last attacks. He assured me it was an oversight.”
“Do Spirits have oversights?” asked Bess.
“No,” said the guardian. “They do not. And what is this about Halflings?”
“Nagi has children, fast growing, voracious.”
Hihankara rubbed her long chin. “This changes The Balance.”
“Do they threaten The Balance?” Bess prayed they did not for somehow she had become fond of the frightened little male and the small ferocious female. They both need…parents, she realized. And, although Inanoka protected The Balance, she would not judge them by their sire. Cesar had taught her that.
“They are dangerous,” said Hihankara, “but if they are alive, their place is in the living world.”
Bess wished she could keep silent, but she could not. “The Balance?”
“Like all creatures, they must find their place in the living world for they are now part of The Balance. And Nagi’s responsibility is to teach them.”
Bess could only imagine what horrors their sire would impart. “He’s trying to take over the world. He’ll only use them toward that purpose.”
Hihankara turned to Cesar. “If he will not teach them, then it will fall to someone else.”
Why did the Spirit look at him when she said that? Now Hihankara pinned her steel-colored eyes on Bess.
“We all remember the Skinwalkers’ reaction when they thought The Balance jeopardized. I trust your kind have learned that war is not a solution.”
Bess chortled at Hihankara’s admonishment. She had lost her father to the aftermath of that war. If anyone knew the terrible cost of such conflicts it was Bess and, though she trusted Cesar, she did not trust his kind. But perhaps this connection between them was a start.
“Yes, wise one. I will do all I can to prevent another war between our kinds.”
The Spirit turned to Cesar. “You were killed by a ghost?”
“I was killed by a man possessed by a ghost.”
“It is an unnatural death and explains why you are here early. If your body is whole, you must return to it.”
Bess felt a sagging relief until she saw Cesar’s aura vibrate a dull gray. He was bereft at Hirhankara’s decision. Cesar would return to her, but only because he had to.
“What about the tattoos?” he asked.
“All Soul Whisperers are born with the proper tattoos. Your life is of service and sacrifice. Until your brother, none of your kind had ever failed to cross my road. Go back now, Whisperer, and finish your work. There are innocents who need your protection. And do not cross again until the next Whisperer is born.”
Cesar turned and began his descent. Bess called to him but he did not answer her. Had she saved him or condemned him?
Hihankara watched the two descend until they were gone from her sight. It would be many years before she would see the Whisperer again, but that nuisance of a raven would be back often.
Then she did something she had never done. She left her place on the Way of Souls and crossed into the World of Spirits to summon the three involved parties.
Niyan arrived first, the Spirit of Man, golden brown and irresistibly handsome. It was no wonder he had so many descendants, for no mortal woman could resist him. Soon afterward she spotted the great bear, Tob Tob, lumbering toward her. He was the guardian of all living creatures not under Niyan’s stewardship.
Hihankara glanced about. Where was the other one? Her mood darkened.
Niyan opened his arms in greeting. He looked as she remembered, dressed in white buckskin adorned with hair from the tail of a white buffalo and rows of elks’ teeth. His face held the perfect beauty that no mortal man could ever match and a glowing aura that shimmered with power.
“Guardian,” he said, and bowed his head. “It has been long since we have seen you.”
Why do you call us? asked Tob Tob, sending his thoughts to her without speaking. The bear was nothing if not direct.
“I also called Nagi.”
They both looked about.
“He has sired living offspring.”
Niyan laughed. “I hope they resemble their mothers.”
Hihankara fumed. “I do not know, for I do not visit the living world.”
I have been there recently, but I did not see them, said Tob Tob.
“He must instruct his offspring, just as each of you have done,” she said.
They both nodded their agreement.
“And I must return to the Road.”
“We will deliver your message, guardian,” Niyan assured. “And see it done.”
Hihankara returned to the Way of Souls, staring down in search of Nagi. He would not wiggle out of this. He’d been meddling in the living world again and this time she meant to see he did his duty. He was a father now and he had responsibilities.
Chapter 21
The air came back to Cesar’s lungs in a gasp, as if he were surfacing from a deep dive. He opened his eyes to stare up at the golden columns of light pouring down through the high branches of the redwood trees. Tuff held him in his arms, supporting his head, which, for some reason, Cesar could not lift on his own.
Beads of sweat covered Tuff’s face and he was nearly as gray as the Halfling infants.
“Welcome back, brother,” Tuff whispered. His words conveyed his fatigue. Why was he shivering on such a warm day? “You’ve been gone a long time.”
Cesar blinked and tried to move, but his arms did not respond to his command.
“Patience. You’ve been out of your body for nearly an hour.”
“But that’s not possible.” The scratchy whisper of his voice frightened him and his mind scrambled for answers. How did he get here?
“Bess?”
“On her way back now, I suppose. I was afraid I’d lose her, too.”
Back from where? He couldn’t recall what had happened or why he was lying on the forest floor. Had he fallen? Bits and pieces of the day flashed through his mind, like fragments of a shattered whole. The pier, driving over the bridge, the twins howling. The ghosts. The gunshot. The pain ripping through his chest. He lifted a hand, pressing his palm over the cold, wet blood soaking his shirt, his muscles trembling as they responded slowly to his mind’s command. Why did he feel no pain?
Then he realized what must have happened. “You healed me.”
Tuff smiled. “Your body only.”
Cesar did not understand this cryptic comment.
Tuff’s trembling grew worse as they slowly switched positions, Cesar rising as Tuff fell into his arms. The Skinwalker looked as if he had just risen from his deathbed and Cesar was seriously worried about him.
“Are you going to be all right?” Cesar asked.
Even smiling seemed to take more effort than Tuff had. “In time. I’ve only done that once, but I had to stop. I wasn’t as strong then.” Tuff’s smile faded and he squeezed his eyes shut.
Cesar touched Tuff and his Truth Seeker gift told him instantly that Tuff was downplaying the seriousness of his condition. The effort of saving Cesar had nearly killed him. No, that wasn’t right. Might still kill him. Now Tuff’s heart beat ineffectively and would until he finished regenerating.
“The bullet went through my heart?” said Cesar.
Tuff nodded. “And both lungs.”
“You nearly died helping me. Why did you do that?”
Tuff shrugged, but the answer came to Cesar through his touch gift. Tuff had done it because Bess asked him to, because he would do anything Bess asked, even if it killed him. Why hadn’t he guessed that Tuff loved Bess?
“I’m sorry,” Cesar said.
Tuff cocked his head, not understanding. It wasn’t fair to read his thoughts without his knowledge.
“I’m a Truth Seeker,” he said.
Tuff’s eyes widened. “Oh, then you know. She doesn’t. Never told her.”
The Skinwalker was such a gentleman; Cesar never even knew that Tuff was a rival for Bess. And the buffalo-man was willing to abide by Bess’s decision. In similar circumstances, Cesar knew he would not be so selfless.
“Why haven’t you told her?”
“She never showed any real interest in me. But I can’t seem to get it through my thick skull. I thought one day she would see me. Shortsighted of me, I know. You won’t tell her will you?”
“Not if you don’t want me to.”
“No. It would make her sad.”
Cesar wondered if he might soon be in the same position, loving a woman who did not love him. Bess had told him she never wanted to see him again. Then why had she come back?
Then he recalled something, and the memory winked on like a firefly and off again before he could fully recall it. Someone laughing. Saying something about ravens and lies. It was important, he knew that much, but he could not summon the recollection from the darkness.
