by Jenna Kernan
“That is going to give me nightmares,” said Bess.
Cesar laughed. “I wouldn’t blame you.”
“Doesn’t bother you?”
He gave her a sad look. “I’ve seen worse.”
Of course he had. He’d seen the very worst things one human could do to another. Perhaps that was why he needed to help them. He was impervious to their appetites, dauntless about their care and unaffected by their appearance.
She felt humbled, wanting to help him, join him in doing whatever he thought best. She longed to touch him, to know his thoughts.
Instead she used conventional methods.
“What now?” she asked.
He used his knuckles to scratch the stubble of his jaw as he considered the sleeping twins. “We’ve discovered what they are and that they are not killers. We have done what we set out to do. They will affect The Balance but I do not believe they will destroy it.”
Hihankara had said much the same.
“I was wrong about them,” she admitted. “Very wrong.”
He looked surprised. “Well, they attacked you.”
“Still, I’ll not be so quick to judge again. I’ve learned my lesson.”
“Lessons can be costly.”
His smile of approval was a balm to her tired soul.
“I’m thinking I will try to bring the others together.”
Bess knew that felt right, but had to raise the obvious concern. “Nagi may come for them.”
“They are his children. He has the right.”
“Even if he plans to make them into a private army?”
Cesar’s jaw tightened. “That I would not allow.”
She did not ask how he would stop a Spirit from doing exactly what it chose to do.
Bess nodded, taking up Cesar’s cause as her own. “We’ll face him when the time comes, then.”
“You’ll help me?”
They stared at the twins, nearly buried in the loose hay and snoring softly, clinging to each other as they slept. She had been mentored by a great swan after her change came, so she understood a family that was not of blood. She could think of none better than the two of them to help these creatures find their way.
“Of course.”
His shoulders dropped a little, as if he had been bracing for her refusal. He didn’t know yet that she’d do anything he asked.
“What will they grow into, I wonder?” she asked.
“I only know some part of them will be like their father. I pray they will also serve the living.”
“Should we leave them to sleep or watch over them?” she asked.
“They can kill anything that is stupid enough to threaten them. I say we leave them to sleep and go in the house.”
“What if they wake up and can’t find us?”
“They can track and kill game, they’ll be able to find us in the house,” he assured.
She took her eyes off the twins and met Cesar’s worried gaze. Instantly she felt a dread. The look in his eyes was so troubled, she braced for what he would say.
“Bess? We need to talk.”
“The porch then, it’s private, but we can still see the barn.”
She led the way across the yard, leaving the circle of light cast by the single electric light in the barn. Cesar followed a few steps behind as the silence between them stretched to eternity. Bess gazed up at the stars winking and, just beyond, the Way of Souls. She recalled Hihankara asking her if she was saving Cesar because it was best for him or for her. She told herself she had brought him back out of love, but was that true? He had not wanted to come back to her. What would happen when he remembered that?
Bess could not bear the thought of the harsh electric lights, so she led him to the wide front porch that more resembled something from Charleston or Savannah than California. The long sectional couch formed a U, capturing the coffee table with the center. She motioned and he sat. She perched beside him, staring out over the porch rail at the single light blazing from the barn as she thought of the two souls sleeping in the hay.
“What happened on the Way of Souls?” he asked.
Cesar waited for an answer.
She had clasped and clung, fighting and clawing to keep Cesar. She’d even beat him back with her wings to keep him from crossing.
Now, he asked for the truth. In giving it, she would lose all her dignity, for she knew she would throw herself at him and beg him not to send her away. Once he knew what she had done, would she lose him forever?
Cesar sat beside her in the darkness, close to her side but distant as well, the tone of his voice, the uncertainty cut at her. He deserved the truth. Bess gathered her flagging courage and faced him, seeing his strange black and white aura now spiked with the bright green of emotional anguish.
“It’s all fractured, like looking through ice on a pond.” He knitted his brow. “I remember asking the guardian about…” His eyes went wide. “Oh, sweet mercy, Carlos!”
Cesar trembled with the force of memories suddenly unleashed upon him, to sweep away his peace under a tidal wave of grief. It all came back to him like water bursting over a ruptured damn.
He covered his mouth with one broad hand, failing to block out the memories battering him. Bess moved closer, trying to cradle him, her fingers brushing his bare neck. At the touch, her fear assaulting him, merging with his pain.
He pushed her aside. “No. Wait.”
Cesar squeezed his eyes shut.
“Carlos is in the Circle of Ghosts.”
“Yes,” she whispered.
He opened his eyes and stared up at her, seeing her brown aura now shimmering golden, making her sympathy a visible entity about her.
“Why?” But he knew, knew exactly, understood the terrible truth. “He killed himself because he was the Soul Whisperer.”
“It was his duty to perform. Not yours. When he died, his powers became yours.”
He lifted his open hands toward her as if pleading for answers. “How is that possible?”
She shook her head. “I do not know.”
Bess wrapped her arms about him. Her sorrow and her grief over his pain swept through him like a spring rain, tender, soft and nourishing. Bess understood his grief for she had lived many years with questions that had no answers.
“He needs our prayers,” she said.
Yes. That was right. His brother must walk the circle until his soul was clean, but Cesar could help speed the process with his prayers. A few mortal years Hihankara had said.
Bess released him, leaving him with his own thoughts again.
“I can’t believe it.”
“He couldn’t live the lie any longer. He couldn’t go on hurting your parents and you by erasing your memories. I don’t think he knew that his ability would pass to you.”
Cesar thought of the life he might have had as a Truth Seeker—he might have been a minister or a member of the District Council. But Carlos had taken that chance when he had taken his life.
Cesar rubbed his hands over his eyes, trying to remember the face he had not seen in a century. Whatever he had done, Carlos had more than paid for his mistakes. Cesar wanted nothing more than to free him from the Circle.
He stepped out onto the lawn, into the cool darkness and fell to his knees in the wet grass. Raising his arms to the night sky, he began to pray for his brother’s lost soul. A moment later he heard her voice join his.
When they had finished, he guided Bess to her feet and she led him back to the seclusion of the porch and they sat side by side on the wide, comfortable couch. She released his hand then, leaving him with his own thoughts. Or was she shielding her thoughts from him?
“I’ll pray for him each day,” he vowed.
“And I’ll call to him each time I fly the Spirit Road. One day, he will answer.”
Cesar stared up at the crystal-clear night sky shimmering with stars.
“I remember the sparkling light of the Way and the pull to move forward. I recall wanting to
…” He stopped, swayed, and righted himself. Bess remained where she was, hands folded, a shadow waiting in the darkness beside him.
Bess knew what he had been about to say. He recalled wanting to leave her, wanting to go to the Spirit World.
“It wasn’t your time.”
“Is that why you faced Hihankara?”
“You do remember.”
He inclined his head. “Pieces. Like a dream.”
“It’s my fault, Cesar. I asked Tuff to heal your body and I nearly killed him. I followed you and told the guardian Spirit about the ghosts. I never even considered that you wouldn’t want to come back to your body, to the world or to me.” Bess rubbed her nose, refusing to let herself cry. He’d once assured her that he would not fall in love with her. His words now seemed some horrible prophecy. It took a moment for the burn in her throat to dissipate enough for her to speak. “I only thought about what was best for me. What I wanted. It was selfish and I’m sorry.”
He gave her an odd look, studying her face for a long moment before speaking.
“What do you mean, Bess?”
He was going to make her say it, make her humiliation complete.
She drew a long breath in preparation. If he wanted this, it was small payment for stealing his chance for perfect peace. She’d never heard of a person born with the proper tattoos to gain entrance to the Spirit World, as Cesar was. She knew she would have to earn hers by the deeds of her life.
“I—I… Cesar, I came after you because I thought I could convince you to forget that I’m a Skinwalker and forbidden to you. Jessie told me everything. About your partner and I’m so stupid. I should have let you explain, instead of flying off and… Well, she has a soul-mate connection with a Skinwalker wolf named Nicholas. But she had to give up everything to have him. I don’t want to have to ask that of you. Not when you have lost so much already. I don’t want you banished, but…” Her misery overcame her and her words trailed off.
He moved closer, sitting beside her in the cool air, the soft glow of his aura outlining his form against the silver-blue darkness.
“I have read of this connection. It is said to be only legend.”
“She said it’s real and that’s what we feel when we touch, that it’s the soul-mate connection. That you are my perfect mate.”
His eyes widened. “Soul mates?”
“That’s what she said. And Cesar, I’m in love with you.”
She knew that look, the one filled with resentment and hurt.
“Is that why you say you love me, because you think we share this connection?”
Bess shook her head, feeling no hesitation now. She’d say what was in her heart and leave him to make his choice.
“I love your sacrifice for the dead and how you protect men by finding dangerous killers. I’m humbled by how you would not take my word or the word of anyone else about Nagi’s children. You kept true to your beliefs and kept me from making a terrible mistake.”
“The mistake that I once made.”
“But you learned from it and you changed. You don’t just protect the living victims. You protect the accused, as well. I want to be like that. I want to help you. We both have connections with the dead. You can talk to the victims, read the bodies and I can speak to souls who have crossed. And I can help you with the newborns. I can help them fly and find food. I can teach them of The Balance and you can teach them to protect mankind.”
She realized she was making this arrangement sound like some kind of business partnership.
When he spoke, his tone held a note of humor. “And I thought you loved the way I kiss.”
Bess stared down at the rounded toes of her black boots. “Don’t tease me now. I can’t stand it. I love you, Cesar. I can’t fight how I feel any longer.”
“You fight well. You fought death itself to have me.”
Her chin sank to her chest. “I’m so sorry.” She motioned toward the sleeping twins. “You had to come back because of me.”
He lifted her chin until he met her gaze. The familiar buzz of heat and power pulsed at the touch. “Perhaps you are why I had to come back.”
She stared into his dark grey eyes.
“I’ve never had anyone care so much about me. It’s true I felt the pull to cross over. But I didn’t know then that you loved me. I didn’t know you would risk so much to have me back. I’m glad you succeeded, because it gives me the chance to tell you that I love you, too, Bess. I was prepared to cross only because I believed that I had lost you forever.”
“I was so stupid.”
“No, you were right. I made a terrible mistake.”
“He tricked you.”
His smile was wise and sad and dear. “The Dream Walker told you this?”
She nodded.
“What she did not tell you is that I was naive enough to allow myself to be tricked. Since then I’ve grown cynical. I didn’t even trust the woman I love enough to tell her the truth.” He stroked her cheek and she closed her eyes as she sensed his tenderness for her. “If I had known you wanted me, that you loved me, I would not have walked the Way of Souls. I would have stayed, even as a ghost, just to be near you.”
“Oh, Cesar.” She threw herself into his arms, feeling his love through the connection and now something else. She drew back to look at him, keeping her arms clasped about his neck. She could read his thoughts.
First the joy mingling with the love. Then the astonishment that she wanted him. And finally the realization that, for the first time in his adult life, he was not alone.
He grinned at her.
“Anywhere?” he asked.
She flushed. Obviously he could read her thoughts as well. She’d been thinking of loving him, needing to seal their connection with a physical joining. “Well, yes.”
He slipped his hands beneath her jacket, sliding them down her torso and over her hips, taking possession of her at last. Bess pressed against Cesar and kissed him, letting him feel the rush of heat he aroused with his touch. She needed this, needed to show him with her body just how much she loved him.
She grasped the lapels of his sports jacket and pushed, taking him down to his back on the soft wide cushions of the couch. He went willingly, accepting her kiss, his tongue dancing over hers as she felt the rush of his excitement fuel her own. Bess broke away, to straddle his thighs, pulling back to struggle with the small buttons of his shirt. Cesar lifted up on an elbow his shoulders shrugging as he battled to remove his jacket and shoulder holster. She pushed, he pulled and together they tore the clothing away from his upper body. When he was naked from the waist up, Bess hummed her satisfaction, admiring each luscious contour and enticing inch of male flesh. She kneaded the warm, taunt skin and hard muscle beneath, drowning in his scent.
His aura changed as she touched him, the golden glow now pulsing with waves of salmon showing the strong sexual energy of arousal. Her aura flared as well, the soft chocolate brown replaced with iridescent pink, the swirling hot glow of desire.
She fell forward and before she landed on the wide open plains of his chest, her clothing had vanished. She pressed her full breasts against him, rubbing and grasping, straddling his hips, offering herself to this man who she could no longer live without. The glow about them brightened as their lips met again.
Bess kissed his mouth, his neck, the long center of his chest, over his taunt stomach that twitched with each swirling stroke of her tongue. His thoughts were now a mad jumble of images of her, them, locked together in passion. She licked the hollow of his navel as she worked his belt away, opened his trousers, releasing him. She took him in her hands, stroking the long velvet length of him, first with her fingertips and then with her mouth. Cesar arched back and groaned as his thoughts broke apart, replaced only by wild emotions. He wanted her, wanted to feel her wet and hot as she rode him. Yes, she thought, she would do that. But before she could move, Cesar took hold of her shoulders and brought her body against his. His lips pressed to the erogeno
us zone just behind her ear.
“Not so fast, little black bird. First I want you to come for me.”
Bess trembled at the images flying through his mind and next at his touch as he stroked her back and then clasped her bottom, lifting her and bringing her down beside him. He left her to peel away his trousers, toss aside his boots and return to her naked and ready. She reached with greedy fingers, pulling him down on top of her. She felt the blood beating in her veins, the rising desire that prickled each raw nerve and offered her mouth to him again. His lips were warm satin, sizzling hot and needy. She grew breathless, their auras glittering with desire.
She released him as he headed south, his teeth scoring the sensitive skin of her neck, each nip a tiny, tingling knife of pleasure. His tongue delved into her ear, curling her toes. Bess arched back against the cushions as his fingers caressed the curves of her heavy, aching breasts, toying with her aroused nipples, turning them into hard knots of sensation. He pinched her and she shivered with need, arching to offer herself to him.
He took one nipple between his lips and sucked. Bess moaned, at the aching pleasure that corkscrewed through her. His hand slipped between her legs, gliding over the soft folds, spiraling over the needy nub of flesh and driving her to madness. He kissed his way down her body, leaving a wet trail that cooled in the evening air. She shivered, cool on top, and hot where his mouth now worked between her legs.
Bess arched back, delving her fingers into his hair, holding him against her. He kissed her, his tongue licking the sensitive nub of flesh that became the epicenter of all her need. She drew her legs up, curling her toes into the cushions as the first starburst of pleasure rocketed through her quaking body. She cried out her release in one long sigh of ecstasy. But even as her orgasm rocketed through her, she wished they had come together.
“Yes,” he whispered. “Me, too.”
He rubbed the slickness of his mouth against her warm thigh and then climbed upward, pausing to kiss her breasts again. She resisted, tired now and wanting to rest, but he did not stop and the resistance gave way, replaced by another curling wisp of wanting that billowed and built inside her like a summer storm. Soon she was clasping his head, holding him tight against her breast, relishing the sharp shards of pleasure that pierced deep into her belly and groin.
