by A. C. Arthur
“Oh!” I gasped and yanked my hands down ten seconds too late. “Stop staring at me.” It was making me uncomfortable. No, that was wrong, it was making me aroused. Hotter for him than I had been previously was more like it. Not only were my nipples hard now, but my thighs were shaking as if they either wanted to clamp shut like they did the night he’d summoned this same response, or like they wanted to spread open wide for him. I felt my cheeks flushing at both thoughts.
“Can’t,” he said with a shake of his head. “Nothing more enticing to stare at right now.”
“Whatever,” I replied, grabbing the handle of my cart and maneuvering so I could pass him.
I was intent on getting away from him, intent on stopping the storm of emotions that wracked my body each time he was in the vicinity. I took about three steps and then, because insanity seemed to be my state of mind when I was near him, I turned back only to see that he’d been staring at my ass. If I’d been properly dressed—meaning wearing clothes that I hadn’t fished out of the bottom of my closet and having my hair styled instead of in a messy braid down my back—I might have been flattered. But my yoga pants were a little on the small side and the jean jacket I’d thrown over the T-shirt was short and I just felt like I was a mess. A very hot and bothered mess. Apparently, Caleb felt differently.
“You can go now,” I said with a huff.
He had the audacity to smile. And if they could, my boobs would have sung a melodious tune at the sight. He wasn’t a cutie, not by a longshot. Instead he was a hottie, with a capital H and all the other letters all cap too! Something about the scruffy look of his beard and the hair that desperately needed to be cut and those bedroom eyes, and those arms that looked like cannons and … goddammit again!
“I like what I see here,” he replied eventually.
“You don’t have the right to look,” I said and wanted to bite off my own tongue. How juvenile did that sound? He could certainly look since there was no way I could stop him without gouging his eyes out, which would definitely be classified as overreacting.
And the really amazing thing was that a big part of me wanted him to look, and possibly touch. I don’t know, it was crazy, just as I’d thought before. Caleb wasn’t my boyfriend, and yet, I kind of felt like maybe, what if he was?
He shrugged. “It’s a free country.”
I didn’t know what else to say or do. Considering the fact that fifteen minutes ago I’d been thinking about not having seen him in seven days, one would think I’d be full of conversation. But all I could think about was how well those jeans fit his legs and that shirt—even though it was a Pittsburgh Steelers shirt—looked draped over his chest.
“Whatever,” I ended up saying again and quickly got the hell out of that aisle.
Five minutes later I was in the automated checkout line trying to hurry up and pay for my purchases—which for the record were not everything I needed. I was stuffing things in my recyclable grocery bags and about to turn around and leave when I bumped right into a chest built like a concrete wall.
“Need some help?” he asked.
Oh boy, did I. I needed help keeping my raging hormones in check.
“No. I’m fine. Thank you,” I said, my voice cracking on the last word. I swallowed hard to keep from saying anything else ridiculous, or at best not having my voice show how nervous he was making me.
He only lifted a brow as he said, “I won’t be cliché and say that you are absolutely fine.”
I closed my eyes, couldn’t help it, I loved his voice. I loved the way it was deep and smooth and sent tingles down my spine as if he’d actually touched me there. “No. Please don’t be cliché.”
“But I will walk you to your car.”
Damn, he was persistent and I wasn’t sure I could continue to attempt to ignore him, or the effect that he was having on me. “It’s okay, I can get there on my own. And it’s broad daylight so there’s no need for the extra protection.”
He ignored my words and grasped my arm. Flashbacks flew before my eyes like a movie on rewind, hitting, crying, screaming, pain. All at once each memory slapped at me and I didn’t have time to stop the reaction, didn’t have a moment to take the deep breaths, to look at something else, to concentrate, to hold it all in.
I screamed as if he’d smacked me, the sound echoing through the air. When my lips finally clamped shut, my teeth chattered and I looked around to see people in the market had stopped and stared. Caleb also stared, after he’d dropped my arm like it was a hissing snake.
It was the moment I’d dreaded happening all my life, the instant that somebody, anybody might pick up on the signs and figure out that the life I’d pretended to lead was a lie. My heart hammered in my chest as everything around me, all the people gawking at me, even Caleb’s slightly confused glare, spun around me, making me dizzy, woozy, possibly about to faint. Knowing that would only prolong the embarrassment, I did the next best thing. I got the hell out of that store before the questions could begin.
***
“He hurt you, didn’t he?”
The voice that I thought I might be falling a little bit in love with sounded angry, and just a bit cold. I continued walking until I was near my trunk, using the key to open it without daring to look at him.
“My arm got caught in the car door,” I said with a measure of self-disgust that I’d never felt before.
I slammed my trunk closed after putting the two bags of food I’d purchased inside. Caleb stood right in front of me looking as angry as he had eight nights ago.
“You’re lying,” he accused, his intense glare pinning me as if that would bring the truth out.
I was determined to stand my ground, didn’t feel like I had any other choice really. “I’m not.”
“You are, I can smell it.”
“What? Who smells lies?” I held up a hand to stop his response. “Forget it. I told you what happened and now I’m leaving.”
His eyes grew darker, his brows furrowing. There was no doubt he was angry, his next words only punctuated that fact as they were spoken through clenched teeth. “I told you I wouldn’t let him hurt you.”
I felt like he was engulfing me, his words, that is. The way he’d said them, the way he’d looked at me was almost the equivalent of him wrapping his arms around me, shielding me from all that was bad in the world. It was breathtaking and a little frightening at the same time.
“It’s not up to you to ‘let’ anything happen where I’m concerned. I’m not your girlfriend,” I told him because it was important that I kept reminding myself of that fact. It was imperative that we both knew what our boundaries were.
Facts and boundaries be damned, Caleb came closer, using a finger to tip my chin upward so that I was once again staring into those smoldering eyes of his.
“You shouldn’t be his either,” he said in a low, gruff voice that raked over my skin in the softest, hottest touch I’d ever experienced.
I sighed, because there really was no reason to be angry with Caleb. Dex had slammed the door with my arm still in the way. He’d apologized profusely and said it was a mistake, but the smirk on his face as he’d looked back at his friends proved that was a lie. I could admit that, even if only to myself. Just as I had to admit that Caleb’s protective instinct toward me made me tremble and want to fall into his arms to shelter in said protection.
“It’s not a big deal, Caleb,” I said, hoping he would finally believe me. “I know how to take care of myself.”
At least I’d thought I did. I’d convinced myself that it wasn’t an issue, it wasn’t as if he’d slapped me or beaten me down to the ground until I was unconscious, as my stepfather had done to my mother on too many occasions to count.
“It is a big deal because he’s hurting you,” he insisted. “I told you I wouldn’t let that happen.”
“Why should you even care?” I asked one of the many questions that had been on my mind for the last week or so where Caleb was concerned. “I’m not
your responsibility.”
But I sure did like that he felt like I was, that he wanted to take care of me even though it was unnecessary. I also liked the feeling of his fingers on my skin, the warmth from his body transferring slowly into mine. He must have read my mind because he rewarded me by cupping my face in both hands. It was a possessive move so I should have backed away, should have felt compelled to run as I often did whenever Dex came closer than I liked. Instead, all I could feel was the balminess, the heat spreading slowly throughout my body as if his hands were actually implanting it there.
“He’s bad, Zoe. He will continue to hurt you if you let him, if I let him.” His lips clenched and he shook his head slightly. “You’re right, I shouldn’t care, but I do.”
And he didn’t like that fact. I could see it in his eyes, the disappointment. I figured it was for feeling the way he shouldn’t, only because I was feeling a little of that myself. I shouldn’t be attracted to this meddling, mysterious guy and he shouldn’t give a damn about some neurotic and confused girl.
“I can take care of myself,” I told him again. “I’ve been doing it for a long time now.”
At first he looked like he wanted to say something else. Then his head lowered, he came closer, and for one glorious instant I thought he was going to kiss me.
I jumped at the sound of the car horn and Caleb swore, pulling his hands away from my face. The warmth was immediately missed and as I looked across the parking lot to see Hanna jumping out of her car I actually wanted to scream for her to go back, to not have beeped that horn or pulled up in this parking lot. Because the truth was, I wanted Caleb to kiss me, more than I wanted anything else at that moment.
I was stepping back from Caleb, who had already put distance between us, when Hanna came running over.
“Are you okay?” she asked me, taking hold of my shoulders like she planned to shake an answer out of me.
“I’m fine,” I tried to tell her but she let me go so fast to whirl on Caleb I couldn’t get out another word.
“You do not put your hands on her!” she yelled in his face. “She already told you she has a boyfriend. What the hell’s wrong with you? You some kind of crazy-assed stalker?”
“Stop it,” I said finally, trying to pull her away as she grabbed Caleb’s shirt as if to emphasize her words. For his part, Caleb hadn’t moved and only gave her a mildly annoyed look in response.
Actually, he’d stopped looking at her and was now watching me. He wanted to see what I was going to do, what I was going to say. Would I agree with Hanna or would I admit I wanted his hands on me, wanted his lips on mine?
“He wasn’t bothering me, Hanna,” I told her, giving the sleeve of the thin jacket she wore another tug. “I’m okay.”
Caleb visibly blanched after I said that. His eyes blinked and he looked like he wanted to say something else, but he didn’t. He only nodded to me, then slowly unclenched the fingers Hanna still had wrapped in his shirt, and gently pushed her away.
“Next time we’re calling the cops,” she told him, but with much less conviction than when she had been yelling at him.
Caleb turned then, walking across the parking lot. I watched him go, watched the set of his shoulders move with every stretch of his legs. I admired the curve of his butt in his jeans, the strength he exuded as he moved. It was beyond mesmerizing and sexy as hell. I wanted to go after him. I wanted that kiss.
CHAPTER 5
Caleb
I was going to find him and then I was going to kill him. There was no doubt in my mind, no talking myself down from the decision. He had crossed the line. It was that simple.
The moment I realized Dex and his sidekicks were rogues I should have chased them down and … what? Kill them because they were different from the other Shadow Shifters? For that matter, so was I. So I hadn’t gone after them, I hadn’t decided that I was the judge and jury and inflicted action on those shifters because they hadn’t done anything wrong, yet.
The sound of Zoe’s gasp when I touched her arm, the pain that radiated from her temples down to her jawline, ripped straight through to my soul. My heart had actually stopped beating the second I realized I’d caused her pain. But I hadn’t caused it, only magnified it for the moment. And she had denied it.
The denial and defense of that bastard was another bitter pill to swallow. One that I had no choice but to digest for the moment. Her friend was a little intense, but I’d dealt with worse.
I sat in my apartment facing the window, staring out into darkness, had been in this position for more hours than I could count. This was how I thought, how I processed things within myself. Marta said it wasn’t healthy, that I needed to let someone in, let someone attempt to share my life, share my love. I loved Marta Sanchez with all my heart, but I disagreed. I had nothing to share and no love left to consider.
I did have continued thoughts of Zoe, of her smile though I’d never been privileged to one of them personally, or that interested and attentive stare and the soft lilt of her voice. When I woke up each morning I thought of her, when I went to sleep it was the same. I’d never thought of anyone like that before.
I’d also never planned an attack.
Sitting on the couch beside me, my cell phone vibrated. I didn’t want to look away from the dark, didn’t want a break in my concentration. But the vibrating continued, until I finally picked it up.
“Yeah?” I answered, having already looked at the screen and knowing who would be on the other end.
“It’s time.”
He said it solemnly, resolutely, like I should have been expecting this call at this very moment.
“I’m good here,” was my response. He should have expected it, should have known I wouldn’t agree. I never had.
“We need you, Caleb,” Brayden pressed.
I’d begun staring into the dark again, holding the phone to my ear but not giving him my total attention. It didn’t matter, just as the words I’d just stated wouldn’t matter. Brayden Sanchez had been born for one reason—to become a Shadow Shifter guard. He was a warrior through and through and even though he was the second born, he often led the three boys and one girl raised by the Sanchez couple.
“Your Assembly needs soldiers committed to them and to their cause. I am not one of them. I’m not one of you.”
I never had been, no matter how many times they called me their son or their brother, I knew it was all a lie.
“Cut the dramatic bullshit, Caleb, and get your ass to D.C. ASAP!”
This was Aidan, the oldest, the one they thought would lead. Only I knew how much Aidan actually despised the idea of following a preordained destiny. I’d championed him when he decided to finish college, to strive for something else. Not when I heard the news of him falling for some girl and getting hooked up in that mating crap the tribes preached and going back to D.C. finally to do their bidding. I’d wanted to punch him in the gut for that move.
Still, I had to smile at the sound of his voice. It had been too long since I’d talked to either of them.
“You talk to your mate like that?” I asked, blinking away my dark stare and letting a smile creep along my face.
I didn’t do that often either, really had no use for the action.
“Don’t talk about her until you meet her face-to-face,” Aidan replied. “Which means you have to get here like yesterday.”
“Nah,” I replied, laying my head back against the sofa. “Don’t think so.”
“Why? What are you doing wherever you are that’s so damned important?” Brayden asked. “What means more to you than your family?”
If I answered truthfully they’d show up at my door in about twenty minutes, tops. So I’d lie. I was getting used to doing that.
“I’m thousands of miles away trying to take care of my own shit,” I told them.
There were maybe two or three seconds of silence in which I knew I’d messed up big time.
“What’s going on?” Brayden asked immediately
.
“You need backup?” was Aidan’s follow-up.
I let out a breath. “I got this,” was my reply.
“Doesn’t sound like it to me,” Aidan continued. “Is it male or female?”
I could lie again but that wouldn’t end the interrogation. Besides, as long as they had no idea where I was, or how close I actually was to them, how close I’d made a point of sticking to them without them knowing, it didn’t matter.
“Both.”
“Human?” Brayden continued.
“One of them,” I replied.
“Rogue?” Aidan all but screamed through the phone. “Where are you? We can be there in—”
“You can’t be anywhere but in that training facility about to take your finals. This is what you two were born for. It’s everything your parents ever wanted for you. I’m used to doing my own thing, nothing different about that this time.”
“I don’t believe you,” Brayden said. “You don’t sound normal.”
I chuckled at that. “I’m not normal on a good day, what makes now so different?”
“Man, I don’t even want to hear about you being half human, half shifter. You’re my brother and you’ve been trained to be as deadly as any one hundred percent shifter ever born,” Aidan continued.
“If you know all that you know I can handle whatever I’ve got going on,” I told him, feeling quite smug at the moment. “You two just get all certified and shit and then we’ll meet up and have a beer to celebrate. Tell Lidia no vodka for her.”
I hung up before they did because I didn’t want to hear any more arguments. I didn’t want to hear the love in Brayden’s voice as he talked about his mate, Lidia, the sister I never knew I wanted. I didn’t want to hear any more of their concern or hope for my return to the team we’d created as kids.
I just wanted to be on my own, to deal with the demons that lived within me through no fault of my own. I didn’t want to be a part of a team or a family and I didn’t want to be drawn to this girl.
