Presently, the boys came in, and Lily noted that this time they did show slightly more interest than before—though they still kept their distance.
‘Where’s Freya?’ Theo demanded.
‘She says she’s not coming down,’ Alex said. ‘She doesn’t want to meet anyone today.’
Lily moved swiftly. ‘I’ll fetch her,’ she said, and soon all three children stood waiting to be looked at.
‘Oh, aren’t they sweet?’ Miss Green gushed, going over at once and kneeling down by Tom. ‘I love little boys…all little boys,’ she added mischievously, looking up at Theo as she spoke, and then adding as an afterthought, ‘And little girls too, of course!’ Then she sat down again, obviously in no hurry to go.
But Lily couldn’t stand being in the room a moment longer, and went quickly towards the door. ‘You must excuse me,’ she said briskly. ‘I’ve things to do…’
‘Yes, we mustn’t keep you any longer, Miss Green,’ Theo said smoothly. ‘Thank you so much for coming…I’ll be in touch with the agency this week.’
Miss Green stood up reluctantly. ‘Oh…OK, then…’ she said. Barely glancing at Lily, she treated Theo to another of her seductive looks before following him to the door. Finally he closed it, and she was gone.
‘Ye gods,’ he said, running his hand through his hair. He moved across to stand by Lily, and put both hands on her shoulders. ‘Thanks for prising her out of the house,’ he said. ‘I thought we were never going to get rid of her.’
‘We don’t like her, either,’ Freya said cheerfully.
‘No, we don’t,’ Tom said. ‘Do we, Alex?’
‘Her toes were bleeding,’ Alex said. ‘There was blood all over her nails.’
As they stood there for a few seconds, Lily let the warmth of Theo’s hands seep through her, and when he slid them gently over the tops of her shoulders and down across the length of her arms, it was the nearest thing she had ever experienced to the truly sensual touch of a man—the closest thing to being caressed in the significant way in which a male caressed a female. And she loved it.
Lily felt herself start to tremble. A little bit at first, and then more so. Not with the fear and distaste she knew so well, but with a desire she’d never known she was capable of. And this time she wasn’t going to pull herself away and run away and hide. She would stay perfectly still and wish that this moment could be frozen in time for ever.
CHAPTER EIGHT
IN SPITE of having had to meet the two prospective nannies, the children cheered up very quickly—especially as their father was going to be with them for the rest of the day.
‘What are we going to do, then, Daddy?’ Alex asked, looking up at Theo.
‘I thought we’d go to the fair this afternoon,’ Theo replied. ‘It’s only here until the weekend, so we’d better make the most of it.’
‘Yes, and Lily is going to sit with me in the dodgems,’ Freya said. ‘You always go with the boys.’
Theo shot her a quick glance. ‘If I remember rightly, Freya, last year you refused to go on anything at all.’
‘Well…I didn’t feel like it then, did I?’ Freya answered petulantly. ‘Anyway, I don’t like it when people bang into each other on purpose.’
Lily got them all ready for the trip, letting them choose what they wanted to wear, and presently they came jostling and pushing down the stairs, just as Bea looked in to say hello to everyone. She beamed at the sight of them looking so obviously happy and excited.
‘Well—what’s on the menu today?’ she asked.
‘We’re all going to the fair!’ Alex exclaimed. ‘D’you want to come, Bea?’
The woman laughed. ‘I’ve given up on those things, Alex.’ She glanced at Lily. ‘You’re certainly giving them a good time while you’re here, Lily,’ she said.
‘Oh, this was Theo’s idea,’ Lily said. She paused. ‘And it’s a good thing that he is coming, because I’m not very brave on fast roundabouts and rollercoasters. I shall probably be standing at the side, watching.’
Just then Theo came down, and Bea, looking up at him, was struck by how relaxed he seemed. Her shrewd mind sensed that Lily probably had something to do with that. Her eyes narrowed briefly. It was not right that this highly eligible man should shut himself away emotionally, as he’d undoubtedly done since his wife had died. She and Joe had discussed it privately, many times…Theo was far too young not to have a woman in his life, and, glancing at him now, it seemed to her that the present nanny for his children seemed to be filling several gaps at once.
Bea crouched down for a moment to secure one of Tom’s sandals. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Lily could stay on indefinitely? For Theo’s sake as well as for the children—who clearly adored the girl. Bea checked her thoughts. She knew she was inclined to be romantic at times—but what if she was? Lily was pretty, intelligent, and so warm-hearted—a man could do worse. And even if her presence did turn out to be the expected temporary arrangement, she might kick-start Theo into realising that permanent mourning was not right. That one day soon he should make a life for himself that wasn’t entirely wrapped up in children—his own and other people’s.
Bea stood up and pulled Freya towards her, to re-tie her hair ribbon which had come loose. ‘Well, now, you all go and enjoy yourselves,’ she said, and, giving Theo a sidelong glance she added, ‘I think it’s time that Lily had a bit of a treat all to herself.’ She hesitated. ‘Why don’t you take her to that special restaurant, Theo—the one you’ve taken Joe and me to a few times? She’d love it, I’m sure—and with all the cooking she has to do here I think she deserves an evening off, don’t you?’
Bea showed not a trace of embarrassment at making the suggestion. She’d been enmeshed in this family’s life for so long, in good times and bad, she’d become more like a member of the clan rather than a neighbour of long standing.
Lily coloured up, opening her mouth to protest, but Theo responded at once. ‘What a good idea, Bea. Can you do the honours later, then—give the children their supper and put them to bed?’
‘You don’t need to ask!’ Bea’s face was wreathed in smiles—her little ploy had worked first time! ‘Anyway, I should take over now and then,’ she said, ‘or I shall forget how everything’s done.’ She turned to Lily. ‘What’s for supper, Lily?’
‘It’s cold roast chicken and salad tonight,’ Lily said, and Tom broke in.
‘Can we have some more of that fudge sauce with our pudding as well?’ He looked up at Bea. ‘Lily has made fudge sauce again, and it’s yummy, yummy, yummy!’
‘Chicken salad and fudge sauce it is!’ Bea said happily. ‘I think I can manage that.’
‘And before we go to sleep, Bea, can you tell us a story?’ Alex asked eagerly. ‘Lily does—every night. It’s always about a little girl called Eve and a fairy who’s her friend, and this fairy makes nice things happen to everyone, and—’
Bea put up her hands in mock horror. ‘I’m no good at telling stories,’ she said. ‘But I’ll certainly read to you. Will that do?’
Sitting opposite Theo in the exclusive restaurant, Lily felt all her diffidence melting away. When Bea had put him in such an awkward position earlier, making it impossible for him to disagree with her suggestion, Lily had thought she was going to die of embarrassment. But she had to admit that he’d jumped at the idea. Perhaps he needed to be away from his kids for an hour or two occasionally, for his own sake?
Bea had whispered to Lily that ‘smart’ was the dress code for the place they were going to, and luckily she’d brought a sleeveless cotton sundress with her when she’d packed to come and live at Theo’s home, which flattered her smooth shoulders and suntanned skin. Earlier, Freya had watched Lily get dressed, and gold, rather long and dangly earrings—a present from Sam—had been the child’s selection from Lily’s modest jewellery case. Lily had to admit that, with her hair coiled up in a simple chignon, the overall effect was good enough.
Freya had sat on the edge of her bed
to watch proceedings, and had given her approval.
‘You look really, really, really pretty,’ she’d said. ‘I’m going to have a dress like that one day.’ She’d paused. ‘I wish I was coming with you.’
‘Maybe you’ll be coming next time,’ Lily had said. ‘And anyway, Bea is looking forward to being with you…I’m sure she misses you since I’ve taken over.’
‘I think the afternoon was a great success,’ Theo said now. ‘We’ve never missed this annual treat yet.’
He stared across at Lily, unable to hide his admiration. She was wearing the dress she’d worn when they were in Rome, and he remembered thinking then how well it suited her. But she seemed to become lovelier every time he looked at her, he thought. Maybe he was wearing the proverbial rose-tinted spectacles where she was concerned, because of the profound effect she was having on his children. They had not been this contented since before Elspeth had died, and that fact alone filled him with a rush of gratitude that he feared he might mistake for something more emotionally significant.
He shrugged inwardly. Stop going on about things, he told himself. He was happy to be here, alone with her, just for an hour or two. His preoccupation at work with children who needed him, and with the constant demands of his own offspring when he was off duty, sometimes made him feel completely submerged—as if he would never function again as a human being in his own right.
Lily smiled across at him, conscious that the flickering candlelight between them made his eyes look mysterious and enticing. She looked away quickly. ‘Yes—I think all children like to be terrified of certain things now and then—so long as they’re with people they trust,’ she said. ‘I was surprised how little Tom took it all in his stride, too. He’s totally fearless, isn’t he?’
Theo nodded. ‘Yes—Freya’s usually the squeamish one.’ He hesitated. ‘Although you don’t seem to be a lover of fairgrounds, Lily. Do the rides upset you?’
‘It’s not that,’ Lily said quickly. ‘It’s…’ How was she going to put this without sounding pathetic? ‘It’s just that once you’re strapped in, and the music starts, and then the ride begins to get faster and faster…well, you can’t get off, can you? I always feel trapped. Entirely at the whim of the man working it—until he decides when it’s all over.’
‘You’re right, of course. Though that’s never crossed my mind,’ Theo replied, thinking seriously about what Lily had just told him.
Just then the waiter—a young, attractive man—appeared at their side. ‘May I bring you something to drink, Mr Montague?’ he asked, throwing an appreciative glance at Lily.
Theo looked across at Lily. ‘Will you have some wine this evening, Lily—or would you prefer something else?’
Lily smiled. This didn’t seem like an occasion for her usual glass of water. She’d push the boat out! ‘I’d love some wine, Theo,’ she said. ‘But please don’t expect me to choose—I don’t have much of a clue, I’m afraid.’
He grinned back at her, and Lily’s heart gave a small but undeniable leap. His well-cut dark jacket, worn over an open-neck casual shirt, gave the merest glimpse of black body hair, visible against his strong, tanned skin. And his hands as they held the wine list were strong and capable, the fingers long and sensitive.
He pointed out his choice of wine to the waiter, adding a request for some sparkling water, and Lily felt herself relaxing more and more with every moment that passed. As usual, she felt totally unpressurised when she was with Theo, sensing that he understood her, that he could read her mind. And she liked the feeling it gave her.
Leaving them with a copy each of the dinner menu, the waiter departed. Theo leaned back in his chair for a moment.
‘You might have declined the opportunity of going on the rollercoasters,’ he said, ‘but I was impressed at the way you handled that dodgem car. You managed to stop everyone—including the boys and me—from bumping into you. That certainly went down well with Freya—and you seemed to enjoy it, too, Lily.’
‘The dodgems are the only things I’ll go on,’ Lily said, looking down at the selection of food on the list. ‘Because I know I can get off if I really want to. Steer to the side and hop out.’
Theo was watching her as she spoke, his analytical mind attempting to penetrate this woman’s complex nature. He could see that for some reason she was intrinsically insecure, despite the tangible, feisty undercurrent of strength in her nature.
‘Have you ever done that—hopped out of the car while the ride was still going on?’ he asked casually, looking down at his own copy of the menu.
‘Yes—once,’ Lily admitted.
There was silence for a few moments, then, ‘You see, I can’t bear not to be in control of a situation…’ she said simply. ‘I have a fear of being…trapped.’
She looked up to see him gazing at her thoughtfully with a look that almost made her melt, and she found herself saying things—unburdening her soul in a way she’d never done before to anyone. ‘Do you know, it has taken me a long time to even be able to lock the door in the ladies’ loo?’ she said matter-of-factly. ‘And as for public lifts…’ She shuddered. ‘But I am improving. I’m not nearly as bad as I used to be. Probably beginning to grow up at last,’ she added, somewhat shamefacedly.
He gave a slightly crooked smile as he resumed his examination of the menu. ‘Most people have a hang-up about something,’ he said. ‘The first step is to face it and admit it. Which you’ve already done.’
Lily chose a lobster-and-prawn terrine to start her meal, followed by braised calves’ liver, and she looked across at Theo gratefully. ‘It really will be nice to have dinner cooked for me,’ she said. ‘Thanks for bringing me, Theo.’
‘Not at all. Bea was quite right—as she always is,’ he said easily. ‘It’s high time that you sat back and were served for a change. I should have thought of it myself.’ He paused. ‘To tell the truth, you seem to understand exactly what we all like to eat, so it’s very tempting to stay at home and enjoy it—especially as the average place I eat when I’m away isn’t a patch on what you do.’
Lily couldn’t help feeling gratified by his remarks—and she knew that he meant every word he said. Theodore Montague never used unnecessary pleasantries, whatever he was talking about.
The wine arrived, followed almost immediately by the food. Theo had decided to have the same as Lily and they ate in companionable silence for a while. It wasn’t until they’d almost finished the bottle of wine, and were waiting for their desserts to arrive, that Theo said casually, ‘Tell me all about yourself, Lily.’ He paused. ‘I know quite a lot already, of course—not only from what you’ve told me, but from what the children say about you. But…for example…where were you born?’
Lily looked down, twisting the corner of her crumpled napkin before considering her answer. She never discussed her past with anyone—not that many had ever bothered to enquire in any case. In her opinion, her past was so inglorious it was better hidden.
‘I was born in Hampshire,’ she said shortly. ‘But we…we moved about the country quite a bit—never in one place for long. Our parents died when Sam and I were very young.’ She bit her lip. She was trying to tell the truth without giving away too much.
‘Yes, I remember you telling me that you were brought up by other family members,’ Theo said, twirling the stem of his wine glass slowly. ‘Do you see any of them now?’
‘No. I’m afraid we’ve all lost touch,’ Lily muttered, conscious that her tongue was beginning to dry at all this questioning. ‘Sam and I are the only ones in close touch now.’
How awful did that make her sound? she thought. He’d be bound to think her very ungrateful to abandon the relatives who’d looked after her.
Theo emptied the last of the wine into their glasses and looked at her steadily. His next question hit Lily like a bolt from the blue.
‘Have you ever been married, Lily?’ he asked bluntly.
Her reply was just as blunt. ‘No. I have not,’ she s
aid shortly, picking up her glass and taking a large gulp. ‘I don’t want to be married. I don’t want to be tied down in any way. Ever.’
He raised one eyebrow, but let the matter drop, and soon the subject of the two interviewees arose.
‘I thought both those women were appalling, didn’t you?’ he asked casually.
‘Yes, I did.’ Lily paused. ‘I think we should try another agency. There must be more suitable people around than them.’
He waited a moment before answering. ‘Yes. That’s a good idea,’ he said slowly. ‘But it’ll have to wait until after the holiday now—there’s no time left this week, is there?’
His mood had changed in an instant, and, sensing it, Lily wanted to cry out, Don’t employ anyone else…the children have had enough to put up with already. But how could she say that when she couldn’t offer a suitable alternative? She’d told him enough times that she was seeking pastures new…but what he didn’t know, and never could, was that—incredibly—she had discovered what being ‘in love’ was…Had allowed herself to fall for a man who had told her from the start that his children were the only thing that mattered to him and that that would never change.
They, the children, had become just as important to her, too, she thought. But if she were to extend the agreement she had with Theo for longer—say for a year or two—how could she stay on and be close to him without one day betraying her feelings? And what if he ever found out about her background? So different from his own privileged one? How could she ever bring herself to tell him that she had lived so much of her life on the human scrapheap, passed from pillar to post? The situation was quite useless, she thought miserably. Staying on here with this family that she’d come to really love could never work out.
Lily was a realist. She knew she must accept her time with them as being one of life’s experiences and learn from it. And move on.
Tearing herself away from all this introspection, she said steadily, ‘Yes, we might as well put the nanny subject on the back burner until after the holiday.’ She was realising that being away with the family—with him—for two whole weeks wasn’t going to help, either. It would just make things worse for her emotional turmoil—make her even more aware of what she was having to give up and forget.
The British Billionaire's Innocent Bride Page 10
