"Now, who said I'm going to send you packing? Lucius?"
No. I think. I'd cry from desperation if I had to speak. I wagged my head, if anything just to shake the stinging sensation of damning tears from creeping into my eyes.
He pulled that vile palm from my flesh.
Ended the strange wave of contradicting emotions warring inside my body.
"Listen to me. One day, we're going to be friends. But until then, I have to insist you believe I don't lie. I know it's hard to do with a stranger. But try. I'm not sending you away. Welcome home. This is it. I hope you find it pleasing. As for the boys…Lucius is usually best at everything. And I know he's difficult to read at times. But Lucius is the intelligent strong type who will probably take over for me one day. I say probably because I'm not about to hand over the safety of these people to just anyone. But Marcus is a fine son in many ways as well. Just as strong and capable. He's the other best option for clan head when I must step down."
Why is he telling me these things about his sons?
"Remember when it's time for you to choose, I have many sons. Any son could replace me as alpha." He winked.
What? "Choose?"
"A few single women thrown into a pool of a dozen unmated adult Shifters." He blinked at me as if the motion would imbue me with an omniscience I was obviously lacking. "Do the math, Elise."
Okay. Mating is inevitable? What just happened? To mate or not, I didn't want just any mate. And even if the one I wanted decided to bite me, I can't go through with the agreement without telling him about my alien DNA. Mating is out of the question.
"Look at me."
This is insane. I stared back into his observant blue eyes. "Who are you protecting?"
My soul froze.
Why that question? We were just talking about mating. And now a blatant question about my loyalties?
"Elise, everything Lucius does is to protect his family. So I promise to only ask this question one time. Okay?" He nodded.
For affect. What now? The absolute worst question? "Okay."
"Are the aliens going to come here for you and your sisters?"
God. I don't think so. "What?" I actually squawked.
He just watched me.
Waiting. Here goes the only shot I have to satisfy his curiosity. Or squash his fears. "They're after my father. That's why he sent us out here and stayed behind." I understood Langston's reasoning now. Would it matter if I explained more? I studied Augustus's encouraging expression. "I didn't really know why he did it when he did. But it just hit me full force on the trip. I know because I can't stand not being with Violet. We're fourteen years apart. She's almost like my own child. I know it's crazy. But now I understand what drove Father to send us off with strangers." I scraped back the cuticle on my fingernail before realizing what I was doing and snapped my gaze back to his. "I don't know if I can ever be as strong as Father was. I don't think I could send Violet away."
"It makes me ill just hearing you say that. I have eleven sons of my own. Throw in a few nephews and you can only imagine how much stress I experience every day when they set out to hunt or on errand. But that's a parent's place. The way of the world. We must do what we must do." He managed a forced smile and nodded. "I see you're as responsible as people come. Like Lucius. But something's eating at you. Maybe it's just about you and has nothing to do with anyone else. Or it's about your sire. Or you and your sisters. I don't care what it is. As long as it's not going to hurt anyone here at my outpost, you have nothing to fear. And I have no doubts you've been honest with me. So, you settle in. Find a place for you and your sisters here. And when you trust me enough to tell me what's gnawing a hole inside you, come and find me. I'll help you slay your demons."
That's what Lucius said.
"Agreed?" he insisted with the same patient voice.
"Yes." Maybe I can believe him.
"Come now. I'll walk you to your cabin. I've got to fetch Drea home anyway."
When he left me shutting my cabin door, I could have dived into the fireplace's welcoming flames. But fell against the door's hard consoling wood that did anything but let me faint from relief.
That man, the alpha, had laid the grounds for his challenge. I'd just have to find a way to lie to skirt the truth. To live here with Violet. We can stay. Yes. In this not-so-awful place. Now, I'd have to take care. Every time we turned a corner around this log building, we walked past a single door in the wall. Just how many rooms did this one butt up against? With four sides, this building had four rooms because my cabin had only one door. And anyone could be leaning an ear to a wall. Listening.
None of us can ever speak of aliens.
"Why are you standing there like that?" Sherry droned.
My shoulders pressed into the supportive wood. Sherry and Violet sat at the small table and chairs beneath the shutters of the room's only window.
"I'm thinking." Talk about spouting off with the truth.
"A woman brought us a pile of things," Sherry said. "Blankets, a pitcher and a bucket full of water. She said we could take hot baths tomorrow. But bathing is done during the hours of daylight. Are you listening?" she droned.
Always. Listening like a warlord's servants doesn't involve touching. "Yes."
"Elise?" Violet called.
Now what? My gaze drifted to where her hands held a broad flat basket on the tabletop. Her round wide eyes held a touch of sadness. Or fear.
"Did Augustus scare you?"
Rather worry. Violet and her knack for reading people. If only I had her skill, I might have avoided this whole accursed mess when Father wanted Lucius to bite me. Then I wouldn't have to dodge Shifter reactions or piece them together to develop a survival plan. I wagged my head.
But now I knew what I hadn't realized because of Augustus. How I screwed up the one thing I finally wanted. Lost it. When I could have held it in my hand. Touched it. Him. So much for a window of opportunity and my damned fears that slammed shut such a doorway.
My heart ached.
In memory. For what it wanted. Accursed stupid uncontrollable organ. And they say a Shifter's Wolf is impossible to control. What about a half-alien heart? Did the extra DNA push a person to insanity over something she dare not risk?
I can't hurt Violet.
Can't.
****
The pale white light of sunrise washed darkness from my cabin but did anything but brighten my day. Augustus ordered me to meet with him in the morning. Better to get the visit with my sire over with. I yanked on my combat boots and hurried to his lodge where he sat in his chair at the empty table as if he had sat there all night. Waiting. For me. Alone. He'd even sent his mate Drea away to chew me a new asshole. Then again, she had enough sense to keep her comments to herself until she was behind closed doors with Augustus.
"We need to talk," he muttered.
Not the tone I wanted to hear.
"Sit." He waved at the bench beside him.
Fine. Let's get the scolding over with. I planted my tail on the hard wood and faced him.
"She is no threat to us. To herself, yes. But that one is lost outside her sire's circle of influence."
Why did he always know how to make me feel like I was eight years old? I nodded just to get this mental thrashing over with.
Augustus slowly uncrossed his ankles, dropping the one combat boot to the wooden planking with a thud, rising off the back of the chair, leaning forward, closely, to bore his deadly glare even more deeply through my skull. "You will apologize to her today."
I want to make her feel better. To ease her worry and help her find the confidence to look people in the eyes again. But not today. I can't control Wolf just yet. Or tuck tail and whimper. I grated my teeth and nodded.
"Today, Lucius. There won't be any friction between anyone at my outpost. Clear the air between you and the woman. Then I will deal with you and Marcus. Now, explain this shit about you forgetting to tell me something as significant as these women are healers. I don't like nor u
nderstand why you forgot to mention something so important." He leaned back again.
Allowing me breathing room to cough up what he wanted. But never relinquishing me from the lance of his piercing glare.
"You will explain everything to me now," he snarled a gurgling threat of his Wolf's.
I offered a consolatory nod. "The female's got me flustered."
He just stared with his Wolf in his eyes.
Fine. "The little one said they were healers. Not the kind with herbs, Augustus. The kind with psychic powers of touch."
His brow knitted.
Would he speak?
He waved me on with a thick impatient finger.
"That was the first time Elise panicked at the mention of aliens."
"And what about the second time?"
"We were alone. She wanted to speak with me alone."
He sat up in the chair. "Alone? Her? Did you know she's always had a Guardian with her? That she'd never been allowed to be alone with men?"
No.
"Lucius, don't you see? It's obvious?"
What is he rambling about? "You'll have to tell me."
"She panics when you're around. It's you."
"And I'm supposed to feel better because I intimidate women?"
His curving lips warned with a budding scowl showing how my reply was totally unacceptable.
"Alright. Why does she panic around me?"
He chuckled an evil laugh, watching me as if he fed off my reaction. Or purposely wanted to make me uneasy. Probably trying to teach me a lesson for my poor choice of actions on the trail.
"You can't think because she's got you all flustered. I can't believe my eldest son is as clueless as a young lady who couldn't tell the man she became smitten with was as clueless about her feelings as he was about hers."
No Gods-be-damned way. "You're joking."
He wagged an evil grin at me. "She as much confessed it in what she said as openly stated it, Lucius. So now we both understand the reason for her anxiety. Do you feel as stupid and asinine as you should?"
Sires shouldn't be this arrogant. But he's right. As always. "Yes."
"Does your Wolf still want her?"
I never said Wolf did. Why did he phrase the question that way? I studied his glinting eyes.
"Well, then, we'll tell Marcus he can have her."
Mine, Wolf growled, pressing up with his sharp claws, scraping ruthlessly at the underside of my ribcage.
I choked down Wolf's warning before Augustus laughed at the full growl.
"Well, we're done here." He waved me off.
No. We aren't. "Marcus better stay away from Elise."
Wolf fisted my hands so tightly that pain knifed through my fingers.
"Oh?"
The exaggerated "o" to his lips and his arched brow showed he enjoyed toying with me. Probably lied about Elise being clueless. A woman like her couldn't be.
Augustus' lips spread into a broad smile. "Then you have much work to do to make amends. Don't you?"
When I take the place of clan head, I swear I'll never do this to one of my sons. I nodded just so I could leave.
"I don't want to lay eyes on you again until she can stomach looking into yours. When she can sit with you at my table and treat you as if you've never done anything wrong, you are welcome to dine with me again. Until then, you better tuck your tail and kiss her ass. Because Marcus gets her if he wins her over first."
Mine, Wolf snarled.
"Mind where you growl, Lucius." He waved me off with two fingers.
Fuck Marcus. I bit my tongue to keep the words to myself.
Pissed. My sire was angered beyond belief. But Marcus could chew an arm off to win Elise. I'll be damned if his attention worked. Because she's mine. I almost leapt at the door.
A lot of trudging between the lodges helped clear my head of Augustus' mind games while Wolf scanned the area for any sign of my scrawny deceptive brother. But, in the end, Augustus made me realize the true impact of my actions. Made me understand how I'd attacked a weaker person who should have been protected. Gods. Rather, adored. And the biggest battle was yet to come. All I could do was prepare for her rejection.
Surely she'd reject me. I would.
****
We'd bathed and met the outpost's women. Not a bad morning. Really. But Augustus was right. My secret devoured me from the inside out. Spending time with the chatting women who stared only made me feel more self-conscious. I gladly returned to hide in my cabin.
Alone.
At least no one witnessed my agony. Drea ushered Violet away to meet others her age, saying Violet would be busy until supper. Sherry had disappeared with Tacitus. That had to be far more pleasant than sitting here with a comb. All the implied touching and all. But being alone had its advantages. I could wallow in the memories I wished to forget without people nagging me about my expressions.
Alone. My lovely future. At least I had a few years with Violet before I'd live alone.
A knock rattled at my door.
Not the women. Dealing with them again seemed so smothering. Unavoidable. I left my comb on the table and pulled the door wide.
Lucius strong large form filled the doorframe.
Massive. Jaw set. Those blue eyes staring me down. Through to the core. Why? To torment me further?
My heart thrashed.
What do I say? I searched the ground, the bloused hem of his camouflage pants, his polished black combat boots, anything as far from his blue gaze as possible that might offer me some sort of reason.
"May I speak with you, Elise?"
Can he be trusted? This has to be another aspect of the interrogation. Must be. He's here to rip out my voice box. I'd be better off dead anyway. He certainly couldn't have come to seduce me. Not after that bizarre talk his sire had with me last night. I can't risk any male touching me after that interrogation. Unfortunately, Lucius probably listened to my tattling heart right now. It's best to play along. I nodded.
"I was hoping for a little privacy," he whispered.
No. Why?
This can't be good. No. Not with him. I shoved, slamming the door shut and pressed my shoulder blades into the hard biting wood.
A tap rattled softly.
He's still here. "No." Go away. God. What could he possibly want to say? To me? In private?
"I'm setting the basket down. Don't leave it long. The bugs will get to the food. I'm leaving now."
Okay. He's leaving. Everything will be alright.
My heart drummed so hard I had to press a palm against it to keep the pounding organ from breaking through my chest. But the beat helped tally the moments. So many breathable seconds I struggled to calm my unruly organ by gulping for breaths.
Finally, my body allowed me to move.
Basket. I could ignore it. Yes. But food isn't something people wasted. And if I ate whatever he brought, I could hide in here. Avoid moments where I'd encounter people and be forced to socialize. Where someone else might begin to think I harbored a secret that risked them all. And everything would begin all over again. Even with him. He's looking for me. That food would help me hide away. But is he out there? Waiting? I just need to hurry. I yanked the door open to an empty shady stretch of grass, a basket stuffed with objects, and the log wall of the neighboring lodge.
Nobody's here. I snatched the thick bent handle, slammed the door, placed the basket on the table, and dug through the large fabric bundle.
More than dried berries, biscuits, and fried chicken lay hidden in the basket. Soaps. Not just any soap. Bars that smelled of flowers and lemon. And a mirror. Why a mirror? Who needed a mirror out here to survive?
A blank book of paper. A pencil. Violet would scrawl her secret code across every page.
My gut somersaulted.
I'd have to hide both. There's too damned many things needing to be hidden. I turned back to the basket's final contents.
To a tiny vial of some kind of floral oil. Maybe rose. Peppermints. I
t looked like he'd broken into a trader's shop and stolen the good stuff. And given it to me? Why? Is this another way to trick me into a dangerous confession?
Unless…Lucius is apologizing. Why? After what he did. How could he have treated me like the enemy then try to win my friendship in the same breath? He's pretending to be nice to draw me into a false sense of security. To lure me into dropping my guard. To discover my secret. Well, that won't happen.
Loving Lucius (Werescape) Page 9
