Maali nodded while Rose took another bite of burfi.
“OK. My name’s Amber and—”
“I’m an alcoholic,” Rose interrupted with a smirk. Sky and Amber frowned at her. “Sorry, go ahead.” Rose reached into the box for another piece of burfi. Maali couldn’t decide whether she liked Rose or not: her feelings towards her kept swaying back and forth like a pendulum.
“My name’s Amber,” Amber repeated, “and I live just around the corner with my dads and—”
“Your dads?” Rose said, arching her eyebrows.
“Yes. My two dads, Daniel and Gerald.”
Maali felt her world expanding even further.
“I love vintage clothes and records, and vintage anything, really,” Amber continued, “and I hate people who think they’re better than you just because they look a certain way.” She glanced at Rose. Rose stared right back.
“What’s your greatest dream?” Maali asked quickly.
“My greatest dream is to go to Paris to visit Oscar Wilde’s grave. Oh, and to get more people reading my blog.”
Amber’s dreams were so interesting, Maali thought. So sophisticated. She thought of her own dream: to become confident enough to talk to a boy. It seemed so silly and dull in comparison.
“Cool dreams,” Sky said.
“Thank you.” Amber took a sip of her drink. “Do you want to go next?”
Sky nodded. “Sure. I’m Sky and I really love living on a houseboat—”
“You live on a boat?” Maali couldn’t help interrupting.
“Yes … well, I did until today.”
“What happened today?” Maali asked.
“I moved into a house,” Sky muttered. “But it’s only temporary.”
“She moved into my house,” Rose said with a knowing smile.
“Oh.” Maali was dying to ask more, but she could tell from Sky’s frown that the conversation had suddenly strayed into dangerous territory.
“She and her dad have moved into my mom’s house.” Rose sat back in her chair. “Her dad and my mom are screwing.”
Maali realized that her mouth had dropped open. She quickly closed it and looked down.
“Yes, well, like I say, I’m sure it’s only temporary,” Sky said icily. “So, I love living on a boat and travelling the world and poetry, and I hate…” There was a moment’s pause, and for a second Maali had the horrible feeling that Sky was going to say she hated Rose. “I hate the fact that my mum is dead.”
They all fell silent. Maali instinctively reached for the box of burfi and passed it to Sky, who took a piece and smiled at her gratefully.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Sky,” Amber said, her voice softer than usual. “So what’s your dream?”
“To find the confidence to compete in a poetry slam.” Sky took a bite from a piece of coconut burfi.
“What’s a poetry slam?” Maali asked.
“It’s where poets have to get up and compete against each other,” Sky said.
“What, like a posh version of a rap battle?” Rose asked.
Sky nodded. Maali didn’t dare ask what a rap battle was. Instead she just nodded knowingly, as if poetry slams and rap battles were an everyday part of her life – along with having two dads and living on a boat.
“I might be able to help you with that,” Amber said, smiling at Sky. “I’m on the debating team for my school, so I know a bit about getting up and talking in front of a crowd.”
“Thank you.”
Sky and Amber turned to look at Maali.
“Do you want to go next?” Amber asked.
Maali froze. What was she going to say? She glanced down at the table and a line from the leaflet caught her eye. Moonlight Dreamers are proud of being different. What was the point in being here if she wasn’t able to be herself? Wouldn’t that defeat the whole object? She took a deep breath. “I’m Maali and I live round the corner too, on Brick Lane, above my parents’ confectionery shop.”
“Did your parents make these sweets?” Rose asked.
Maali nodded. “Yes, my mum did. And I love Brick Lane – oh, and Lakshmi.”
Rose smiled. “Is Lakshmi your mom?”
“No. She’s a goddess.”
Rose’s eyes widened. Maali’s heart began to pound.
“A Hindu goddess, right?” Sky said.
Maali smiled at her gratefully. “Yes. She’s the goddess of love, prosperity and beauty.”
“Why would you love a goddess?” Rose asked, but she didn’t look as if she was being spiteful – she looked genuinely interested.
“Because – because she’s always there for me, whenever I have a problem or I need help.”
Rose pursed her lips. “But how do you know?”
“How do I know what?”
“That she’s always there? Have you ever seen her?”
“No, but I feel her.” It was as if there was a giant eel squirming around inside Maali’s stomach. Help me, Lakshmi, she silently prayed.
“So, what do you hate?” Sky said quickly.
“Racists.” The word popped out before Maali even had time to register it. It was what she hated, the only thing she hated.
“Anything else?” Rose asked.
“No.”
“And how about your greatest dream?” Amber asked.
This was it: the moment they’d probably all laugh at her for being boring and immature and ask her to leave. “I’d like to find the confidence to talk to boys,” she muttered.
“The confidence to what?” Rose asked, leaning closer. She smelled of sugar and coconut.
“To talk to boys.” Maali couldn’t even bring herself to look at them. They probably all had boyfriends. They probably talked to boys all day long without a care in the world. She waited for Amber to tell her she was too young and silly to be a Moonlight Dreamer.
“But what’s so hard about talking to a boy?” Rose asked.
“Nothing, forget about it.” Maali wanted to crawl under the table.
Sky passed the burfi back to her with a gentle smile. But Maali shook her head.
“Shall we move on?” Amber said. “Rose?”
“What? Oh, right, my turn.” Rose sat cross-legged and pulled her hair back over her shoulders. “Don’t worry about your dream,” she said to Maali, “I’ve got it covered. OK, well, I’m Rose and I love New York City and motorcycles and cake.”
“Is that where you’re from?” Maali asked. “New York?”
“Uh-huh.”
“You love cake?” Sky looked at Rose disbelievingly.
“Yes. I mean, seriously, there’s just something about a cake, you know? The soft sponge. The melt-in-your-mouth frosting.” Rose gazed dreamily into space for a second. A guy walked past gazing equally dreamily at Rose, but she didn’t appear to notice. Maali swung back into liking Rose mode.
“And you love motorbikes?” Amber asked.
Rose nodded. “Yep. My dad has a Harley Davidson Hydra-Glide. He takes me out on it when I visit him in LA. It’s awesome.”
Amber nodded. “So, what are your dreams?”
Rose smiled. “To own a Harley Davidson and be a patissier – that’s someone who makes cakes,” she added.
“You want to make cakes?” Sky’s eyes were wide. Maali wondered why she looked so shocked.
“Yes. And?”
Sky shrugged. “Nothing.”
“And what about what you hate,” Amber said, jotting something down in her notebook.
Rose shook her hair loose and looked straight at Sky. “I hate people who invade my privacy.”
Chapter Eighteen
Amber stepped out onto the roof garden and took a deep breath of the cold night air. For the entire evening her shoulders had felt as if they’d been carved from stone. Now, finally, she could relax.
The first meeting of the Moonlight Dreamers hadn’t exactly been perfect – she wasn’t sure what to make of Rose, and the tension between her and Sky had been awkward – but, on the plus side, everyone had see
med really into the idea, even Rose. When Amber had suggested they exchange email addresses and arrange a date for the second meeting, they all seemed keen.
Amber looked up at the sky, searching for the moon. It was only half full now, as if someone had flung a black drape over it. She thought back to the night it was full, and how huge and bright it had been. And she remembered how she’d sat up here, gazing out over London and dreaming that there might be other people like her. Now, not even two weeks later, her dream was coming true. Hopefully.
Sky sat down on the train and hoisted her bag into her lap. Rose plonked down into the seat opposite and closed her eyes. The three men in their section of the carriage turned their gaze on Rose as if she was some kind of eye magnet. Sky felt angry at them for perving, and angry at Rose for being so – so what? For once Sky was stumped for words. So arrogant? So attention-grabbing? But Rose wasn’t like her mum. She didn’t seem remotely aware of the looks she got from guys, and she definitely didn’t do anything to encourage them. But she had been a bitch during the meeting, with her little digs at Sky and the way she’d talked about Savannah and Liam “screwing”. At least she’d been vaguely polite to Amber and Maali.
Sky sighed. She should never have brought Rose. She could tell it had pissed Amber off. This is what she hated about Rose – the way she made everything difficult. She stared across at her. Rose still had her eyes closed and a smile was playing on her lips. Or was it a smirk? Was she smirking about the Moonlight Dreamers? Did she think the whole idea was lame? Sky’s tension soured into resentment. Rose was so smug. So full of herself. So—
Rose opened her eyes and raised her eyebrows as if to say what are you looking at? Sky glared at her, then looked away.
Rose stared at Sky angrily. What the hell was that look for? Rose had come along on her night out, hadn’t she? She’d gone along with the meeting. She’d even enjoyed the meeting, much to her surprise. It had felt good to talk about the things she loved, and to dream about riding a Harley and being a patissier. And it had been interesting to hear what the other girls had said. They were so different from her classmates at school, who were like a bunch of factory-produced clones, all poker-straight hair and short skirts and lip gloss. Their interests were identical too – clothes and boys and money. She’d never heard a single one of them talk about loving a goddess the way that Asian chick, Maali, had. And though it bent Rose’s brain to think about feeling the presence of a goddess, at least it was interesting. At least it gave her something to think about. Just like Amber and her two dads, and her dream of going to Paris to see the grave of that Oscar Wilde dude. It was only Sky who’d made her yawn, with her sappy “I love living on a boat” bullshit. “Why don’t you go back there, then, you ungrateful cow?” Rose had wanted to yell.
Rose watched as Sky rummaged around her ethnic-style backpack and pulled out a book. Right, fine, if that’s the way she wants to play it. Rose pulled out her phone. She noticed a middle-aged guy across from her gawping at her chest and flicked him the finger. Pervert. Rose typed Oscar Wilde into the search engine and clicked on a list of quotes. She smiled as she read them. He sure knew how to do sarcasm. Then she found a quote that made her want to laugh out loud. “Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.” Rose decided to print it out and stick it to the kitchen noticeboard as soon as she got home.
As Rose opened the front door, Sky felt a dull ache inside. She didn’t even have a key for her so-called new home. And Rose hadn’t said a single word to her all the way back. She’d just sat smirking at her phone. Sky felt a stab of panic. What if Rose had been slagging off the Moonlight Dreamers on social media? She imagined Rose posting a sarcastic Facebook update about them and cringed. She stepped into the hallway and heard her dad’s favourite mantra CD playing in the living room. Rose slammed the front door and marched straight upstairs.
“Girls, is that you?” Liam called.
Sky crossed the hall, hoping that Savannah had gone to bed and that she and her dad would have a chance to have one of their late night chats. But Savannah was lying on one of the leather sofas in a robe, staring straight ahead. She looked different. Younger. Paler. Then Sky realized she wasn’t wearing any make-up. Liam sat cross-legged on the floor in front of Savannah, like an adoring servant. Sky felt like an intruder.
“Did you have a good night?” Liam asked, leaping to his feet and coming to give Sky a hug.
“Yes, thanks.”
“Where’s Rose?” Savannah asked. She sounded really tired.
“I think she went straight up to bed.”
Sky snuck another glance at her. Her eyes looked really puffy and bloodshot.
“Did you have a good time – together?” Liam looked at her anxiously.
“Oh yes, it was fine,” Sky lied. Her mind started going into overdrive trying to work out why Savannah might have been crying. Was it because of the way Sky and Rose had stormed out earlier? Was it because she was having second thoughts about them moving in? Was it because she and Liam had had a fight?
“That’s great,” Liam said, perching on the sofa and taking hold of Savannah’s hand.
The hope that had started chorusing inside Sky was abruptly silenced.
“I’ll go to bed, then,” she said quietly.
“OK, sweetheart, good night,” said Liam, but he was looking at Savannah.
“Good night,” Savannah said softly. “I hope you sleep well – in your new bedroom.”
“Yeah, thanks.” Sky headed for the hallway, her eyes stinging with tears.
wildeatheart.tumblr.com
LESSONS
Some things I have learned today:
• Dreams don’t always work out exactly how you imagine they will
• This is OK – in fact the surprise can make them even more interesting
• Don’t judge a book by its cover – or a person by their lipstick
• Lakshmi is the Hindu goddess of love, beauty and poverty (or it might be prosperity…?)
• Parents who sulk, suck!
And here are this week’s Wilde words from my hero, Oscar Wilde:
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
Amber
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: Tues 27th October 22:06
Subject: Thank you – and sorry
Hi Amber,
I just wanted to say thank you so much for organizing the Moonlight Dreamers meeting and for inviting me! I’m sorry if my dream sounded a bit silly. I didn’t mean it to. I just wanted to be truthful, and truthfully, being able to overcome my shyness and speak to boys is my greatest dream right now because I know that if I don’t, then I’ll never get to meet my soulmate. Anyway, I hope and pray you won’t ask me to leave. I thought your dreams sounded amazing.
Maali xx
PS: I didn’t tell my mum about the meeting – I promise.
From: [email protected]
To:[email protected]
Date: Tues 27th October 22:30
Subject: Re: Thank you – and sorry
Hi Maali,
No need to apologize! Your dream is your dream. And that’s fine about your mum – she makes very good sweets! It was really interesting getting to know you and finding out about your faith. I’ll be in touch again soon about the next meeting…
Best wishes,
Amber
PS: Is Lakshmi the goddess of poverty?
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: Tues 27th October 22:34
Subject: Re: Re: Thank you – and sorry
No, Lakshmi is the goddess of prosperity – and love and beauty.
Thank you!
Maali xx
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: Tues 27th October 22:41
Subject: Hello
It was so lovely to meet you this evening. I was really sorry to hear about your mum dying, though. It must be so hard for you. In the Hindu text the “Katha Upanishad”, there’s a quote about death which I thought you might like:
“Death is a mere illusion which appears to those who cannot grasp absolute reality. The soul is immortal, self-existent, self-luminous and never dies.”
Even though your mum’s body isn’t here any more, her soul is. And even if you don’t believe in life after death, she will always live on in you and your memories of her and your love for her.
Maali xx
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: Tues 27th October 22:45
Subject: Help with your dream
Hi Rose,
It was really lovely to meet you tonight. I know your dream is to be a patissier so it’s not quite the same, but if you ever want to come and have a look around my parents’ sweetshop and ask them questions about being confectioners, just let me know.
Maali xx
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: Tues 27th October 23:37
Subject: Thank you
Hi Amber,
Thanks so much for inviting me along tonight. I really enjoyed it. And sorry about bringing Rose along unannounced – it was a last-minute thing. Anyway, I was thinking of coming up to Brick Lane on Saturday to buy some more vintage postcards and I was wondering if you fancied going for lunch on your break – if you get a break…?
Thanks again…
Sky x
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: Tues 27th October 23:37
Subject: Re: Thank you
Hi Sky,
Yes, that would be great. My lunch break is normally at 1pm. See you there.
Best wishes,
Amber
Chapter Nineteen
Amber pulled her notebook from her bag and hid it behind her textbook. She was in maths. This was usually a bad thing. A very bad thing. But they had a supply teacher who didn’t look much older than them. She’d asked them to copy half a chapter from their textbooks and now she was sitting at her desk, pretending to look calm and relaxed as she read her book, but Amber could tell she was bluffing. She hadn’t shifted her gaze or turned a page for at least five minutes.
The Moonlight Dreamers Page 9
