Mother tipped her head to one side, and I saw the hint of a question in her eyes. “That will be a project that could take quite a while.”
“I estimate nine months to a year if all goes well.”
“Then you plan to stay even after . . .” Her words hung between them like a sharp blade waiting to slice their lives apart.
“I haven’t changed my mind. This is where I plan to live out the rest of my days.”
A faint smile curved her lips. “And you will be happy?”
“I’ll be as happy as I can without you at my side.”
I felt like an intruder as I watched the exchange of both love and pain that passed between them.
As if he suddenly realized they weren’t alone in the room, my father looked at me. “I asked to have Ritt work as my assistant on the construction project, and he has agreed.”
My heart soared at the news. Ritt might not become a supervisor within the woolen mill in the near future, but this added responsibility could reveal he possessed the aptitude to be a good leader. I was already certain Ritt had the ability to be a good husband, but first I must wait to see if he believed I could remain content in the Amana Colonies—and if he would ask me to be his wife.
Chapter 29
The next morning, I learned that my prayer concerning Thomas hadn’t been answered. According to Ritt, Thomas remained in the village. I guessed he still hoped to retrieve his money. Either he assumed I hadn’t revealed my knowledge of the money, or he thought the elders would forgive him and overlook the possibility that he could be one of the bank robbers.
Brother William hadn’t advised Ritt, me, or my father about what plans were being made, if any, in regard to Nathan, Thomas, or the money. Since I had to refrain from my regular work at the dormitory and had to eat my meals at home with Mother, my knowledge of happenings outside our front door remained negligible—other than what I could glean from Father or Ritt.
At noon, my father appeared with our meal. I was surprised to see him rather than Sister Hanna. “What brings you home, Father? Are you not feeling well?” I jumped up from my chair and reached for the basket.
“I am fine, but I wanted to tell you that the doctor believes Nathan will reach a full recovery by tomorrow. He will keep him at his home for one more night to make certain his lungs are clear.”
I lifted a corner of the napkin covering the containers of food inside the basket. “That is good.” I was glad Nathan wasn’t permanently injured, yet his betrayal had cut deep into my heart. “And now what happens to him?”
“I don’t know, Jancey, but I’m sure the elders have set a plan in motion.” He inhaled a ragged breath. “Nathan has asked to see you. The doctor gave his permission for you to visit him, but the choice is yours.”
I shook my head. “I have nothing to say to him, Father. And nothing he tells me will restore my trust in him.”
“Perhaps he wants to ask your forgiveness.” My father’s brows arched above his wire-rimmed glasses.
I was surprised by my father’s response. “You think I should forgive him?”
“Forgive him, so you’ll be able to trust again, Jancey. Don’t let his actions take root and harden your heart. The only way to rid yourself of the pain he has caused you is to forgive. Then you can move forward. What do you think the Lord would have you do?”
“Forgive,” I whispered. “But it is so hard, Father.”
“I know, but holding on to the grievance hurts only you.”
With Mother’s latest downward turn, we couldn’t leave her alone, so my father brushed a kiss on my cheek and bid me hurry to Brother Rudolf’s office.
The breeze seemed to carry my prayers toward heaven, and I found my spirit lifting despite what lay ahead. A rabbit hopped from a yard and crossed the walkway in front of me and I chuckled, remembering Ritt’s teasing about a bunny nibbling my shoes.
At the thought of Ritt, I glanced toward the charred remains of the mill. The smoke still hung in the air and seemed to cling to everything. I turned back toward the road and gasped. “Thomas!”
“Where’s the money?”
I glanced around. Surely he wouldn’t do anything rash in broad daylight. “I have no idea. You know Brother William took the bag from Nathan the night of the fire.”
He stepped closer, backing me against a post. “And my sister? Did you find out about those rich folks she’s living with?”
My heart hammered an erratic beat. “Is that why you wanted to find her? Because you knew her family had money? Did you plan to rob them? Or maybe you were going to threaten to take Kathleen with you if her father wouldn’t give you the money you demanded? Is that it? Did you care about her at all—or was it all about money?”
His features tightened and he inched closer. “She wouldn’t have fit into my life, but I figured a time would come when that rich family would prove useful.”
I shuddered at the impulsive decision I’d made to help Thomas. In my haste, I could have caused his sister and her family great harm.
“It is gut to show God’s love,” Ritt had said. “But love must be tempered with wisdom.”
I looked into Thomas’s eyes. A cold, calculating hardness now replaced the gentle man I’d first met, and Ritt’s words haunted me. Anger burned in my chest. “I wouldn’t tell you where Kathleen is with my dying breath. She’s better off without you.”
“Why you little—” He drew back his hand.
I shut my eyes, bracing myself for the strike. Instead, I heard a grunt. My eyes opened to see Ritt wrenching Thomas’s hand behind his back.
“Ritt, where did you come from?”
“When your father didn’t return to work, I feared your mother had taken another turn for the worse, and I came to check on you.” Ritt eyed me critically. “Did he hurt you?”
“No.” My voice caught.
“I’ll take him to Brother William. The elders can decide what must be done, but Thomas has bothered you for the last time.” Ritt held fast to Thomas’s arm. “Were you on your way home?”
My lips trembled as the realization of what had happened began to take hold. “No, I was on my way to Brother Rudolf’s office when Thomas stopped me.”
“You are too troubled to go by yourself. Why don’t you go home and see if your Vater will go with you?”
I shook my head and explained we couldn’t leave Mother alone right now.
“My Mutter will be home from the Küche by now. She will come downstairs and sit with her.” Ritt nodded toward the house. “Go on, now, and I’ll talk to you later.”
I hurried home and asked Sister Hanna to keep an eye on my mother. After hearing what had happened to me, my father wrapped me in an embrace. “I’ll go with you. We can do this together.”
A short time later the two of us walked to the doctor’s office. Perspiration dotted my forehead, and my lunch tossed about like cream in a butter churn. A bell over the door jangled as we stepped into the waiting room.
“Ah, Brother Jurgen and Sister Jancey. I am guessing you are here to see Mr. Woodward.” Brother Rudolf gestured for us to follow him into the back, where he took us into his parlor. “I’ll have him join you in here. He is able to be up.”
Moments later, Nathan stepped into the room. He extended his hand to my father and then sat down on the sofa beside me. “I didn’t think you would come, but I’m glad that you did.” There was a strange, raspy quality to his voice, likely caused by the smoke. Instead of looking directly into my eyes, he gave me a sideways glance.
“I asked you to come because I wanted to apologize for letting you down. I took advantage of your trust, and instead of doing what I promised, I took the money.”
I inhaled a quick breath. “How could you, Nathan? I never would have believed you could do anything so awful. Was money so important that you would steal and then risk your life for it? What did you hope to gain?”
He covered his face with his hands. “I know it was wrong, but I wanted to have enough mo
ney to purchase your father’s business. I thought that maybe then you would decide I was worthy of your love—that you’d return and marry me.”
My father shook his head. “No. You will not cast this on Jancey’s shoulders. She is not a young woman who bases her love on whether a man has enough money to shower her with a fancy home or gifts. Be honest with yourself and with Jancey.” He inched forward on the chair and forced Nathan to look at him. “You stole because you wanted the power and prestige that you believe can be gained only through money, not because you thought it was a way to win Jancey’s heart. Isn’t that the truth?”
Tears streamed down Nathan’s face. “Yes. I thought it would be easy, but now I’ve ruined all of my chances.”
“I’m afraid that’s true, Nathan. You made a bad decision that will change the entire course of your life.”
Wiping his tears with his shirt sleeve, Nathan turned toward me. “Can you ever forgive me? I know there’s nothing I can say that will make things right, but it would help to know you’ll at least try to forgive me.”
I met his faltering gaze. “I forgive you, Nathan.” A swell of sorrow rose in my chest—sadness for the choices he’d made and the suffering he would endure because of them.
As we rose to leave, I stopped and turned to him. “Why were you in Marengo the night of the fire, Nathan? Had you gone to see if word had been received about the bank robbers?” I looked him in the eye. “And please tell me the truth.”
He bowed his head. “No. I never sent any wires to the newspaper, or the bank, or to anyone else in Kansas City.”
My throat caught. I’d suspected as much, but I hadn’t been certain.
“I went to purchase two train tickets.” His clasped hands rested on his legs.
“Train tickets?”
He nodded. “I was going to do my best to convince you to leave with me the following day. I bought the tickets in Marengo because I didn’t want to take a chance buying the tickets or departing from one of the stations in the colonies. I figured someone would tell your father before we could get far enough away.”
“And you thought I would do that? Leave with you and not tell my parents?”
“Not really, but I . . .” He hesitated. “I considered forcing you.” When I gasped, he straightened his shoulders. “You said you wanted to hear the truth.”
He was right—but I hadn’t expected to hear that he would have actually forced me to leave with him. Even when we lived in Kansas City, I was aware of Nathan’s shortcomings, but in my wildest thoughts, I could never have imagined he would steal and consider making me go with him against my will. I placed my fingers against my mouth as a wave of nausea attacked. His revelation had physically sickened me, and I turned away.
My father stepped close and placed his arm around my shoulder. “I think we should go now.”
“Do you know what will happen to me, Mr. Rhoder?” Nathan asked with a trembling voice.
My father squeezed my shoulder, and I stopped in the doorway. “The elders have not told me anything, Nathan. I am sure someone will come and advise you of what decisions have been made.”
“If you could put in a good word for me, I’d sure appreciate it. I did a good job for you in Kansas City. You could tell them that—it might help.”
My father looked over his shoulder. “I don’t think anything I can say will help, but I will pray for you. It might be good if you did the same. You need to ask for God’s forgiveness, Nathan. His forgiveness is far more important than ours—please remember that.”
Though none of us had been informed beforehand, two of the elders had quietly departed for Iowa City, and this morning they had returned accompanied by a marshal and two deputies. Nathan, Thomas, the lawmen, and the money were all on the late afternoon train.
Father said they were taking Nathan and Thomas to Kansas City, where they would be tried for their crimes. With the lack of newspapers in Amana, I wondered if we would ever know the final outcome. Would Nathan write to me from jail? That thought gave me no pleasure. I sat down at the desk in our parlor and removed a sheet of writing paper. Lilly would wonder why there had been no word regarding Thomas and a possible visit to his sister. Once I completed Lilly’s letter, I penned a letter to Kathleen’s family in Salina, thankful they’d decided to wait until they heard from Thomas before speaking to the girl. The fact that Kathleen had been protected from further disappointment was the only good thing I could think of at the moment.
As I tucked each letter into an envelope, a knock sounded at the front door. I hurried to answer, worried the noise would disturb Mother. My stomach lurched when I opened the door. Both Brother William and Brother Otto stood in the hallway. I didn’t know why they’d come, but I was sure it couldn’t be about anything good. They’d probably come to speak with me about Nathan and Thomas. A lump the size of an orange lodged in my throat.
“Good afternoon,” I croaked.
“You are ill, Sister Jancey?” Brother Otto backed away from the door.
I shook my head and touched my neck. “Something stuck in my throat.” I swallowed hard and stepped to the side as I gestured for them to come inside. “My father is not here—only my mother and me.” Thankfully, my voice had returned and sounded almost normal.
Brother Otto nodded. “Ja, but it is you we want to speak with.” He and Brother William sat side by side on the sofa.
“Me?” The lump had returned and so had my croak.
The two men looked at each other, obviously uncertain about what ailed me. Once again Brother Otto took the lead. “There is an opening at the Kinderschule caring for the young children, and we were thinking you might enjoy this position more than cleaning in the dormitory.”
Brother William nodded. “But if you prefer to remain at the dormitory working with Sister Margaret, you are not required to take the position at the Kinderschule. One of the sisters who worked there recently had another child, and she will not be returning for three years. With your experience teaching, we thought you might want to consider a change.”
My excitement mounted at the prospect of caring for children. Granted, it wouldn’t be the same as teaching in a school, but children were never too young to learn.
“I would be very much interested. How soon could I begin?” The lump in my throat had completely disappeared.
Brother William chuckled. “If you would like to begin tomorrow, that would be gut.”
I hesitated. “Tomorrow is washday at the men’s quarters. Sister Margaret might need my help.”
“Nein. We will have one of the junior girls help her on washdays, but is kind of you to consider the workload of another sister.” Brother Otto beamed at me. “I am pleased to see you are learning to embrace our way of life, Sister Jancey. I am sure it pleases your Mutter and Vater.”
From his comment, I wondered if the elders had decided I would face fewer temptations working in the Kinderschule rather than the men’s dormitory. Was that the reason for their offer? I pushed the thought aside, for it didn’t matter what the reason. God had provided a place for me to work with children, and for that, I was most thankful.
The men stood and Brother William nodded toward the bedroom. “Your Mutter—how does she fare?”
“Today not so well, but we remain hopeful. Her health changes day by day. Brother Rudolf says it is to be expected.”
“Tell her that our prayers are with her.” Brother Otto led the way to the door. “Sister Belinda will guide you through your training at the Kinderschule.”
I was so excited I wanted to kiss him on the cheek. Of course I would never have done such a thing, but I could barely contain my excitement. The minute the door closed, I tiptoed into my mother’s room.
Though her eyes were closed, I whispered, “Are you awake?”
Her lips lifted in a meager smile. “I am now.” Her eyes fluttered open. “You look very happy. What has happened?”
I told her of the visit from the two elders. “Isn’t it exciting
, Mother? I’ll be able to teach again. I can hardly wait.”
My mother reached for my hand. “You understand you will be caring for the little ones? Children who are three, four, and five—not the older children.”
“I know it won’t be the same as teaching in the orphanage, but working with younger children will be a new challenge for me. I’m excited to begin.” I let the joy that bubbled within spread across my face. “And I’m pleased the elders considered me for the position.”
Mother squeezed my hand. “I am pleased, too, my dear. And I’m certain by the time the little ones are old enough to enter the regular classroom, they will be well prepared.”
I sat with Mother until she drifted off to sleep, my thoughts hopscotching over the many events that had taken place since we’d arrived in the colonies. Though there had been immeasurable changes in my life, I now understood the peace and sense of community that had beckoned my mother’s return to this simple life.
Chapter 30
April 1882
Although I sometimes thought it impossible to love Ritt any more deeply, my love for him continued to grow with each passing day. Through his kindness and gentle nature, I had learned the meaning of true love—the kind of love that existed between my mother and father. A love that flowed from the heart without the expectation of gaining anything in return.
The elders had agreed to our marriage, but because of my mother’s health and Ritt’s involvement in the construction of the new mill, we’d both been permitted to remain in Middle Amana during our year of waiting. If all went according to plan, we would marry in October.
Teaching the children at the Kinderschule had proved to be more fulfilling than I’d anticipated. Watching the little ones improve their vocabulary or learn to write a number gave me great pleasure. They exuded joy over something as simple as creating a small castle out of sand in the play yard or spotting a bird’s nest in the orchard. Their eagerness to experience the world around them gave me more delight than I could have ever imagined.
A Simple Change Page 27
