Jaycee had difficulty understanding her feelings for her tormentor. Sometimes he could be amusing and kind. Other times he would scare her, even with the words he used. He promised to make her the best sex slave ever. When she cried, he threatened to give her to other men who were even worse than he was. They would keep her in a cage. She was so frightened that she begged him not to do that, saying she would do anything he wanted.
In small ways, she kept the spirit of rebellion alive though. She quickly learned the way he liked things done and to not quite do it that way, but not in a manner that would seem deliberate. She would forget to put her lipstick on, not masturbate him quite as fast as he liked, or pretend to be asleep when he was engrossed in TV.
The drug-fueled “runs” continued. He would tie her up or videotape her doing degrading things. Sometimes, after sex, he would beg her to forgive him. At times, she was even sympathetic to his “problem,” but eventually realized that he was a selfish man, concerned only with his own gratification.
After one “run”—a daylong session of drug-fueled sex—he let her remain in the larger room. He began to call her Snoopy as she snooped through the things he had in there. At first, he would handcuff her to a pullout bed in there. But after a few months, he left her unshackled. But although she could walk around, she could not go anywhere. The door was securely locked and there were iron bars on the windows.
Even though Jaycee now lived in a bigger room she still did not have proper bathroom facilities. There was no running water and she still had to use a bucket as a toilet. Sometimes it would get filled up and there was often a shortage of toilet paper.
Eventually, Garrido introduced Jaycee to Nancy, saying that he wanted them to be good friends. He had met Nancy Bocanegra when she came to visit her uncle in jail. Garrido and Bocanegra wrote to each other and, in 1981, they were married by the prison chaplain. When Garrido was paroled in 1988, the two moved in with Garrido’s mother who lived just outside Antioch in a modest home with a large, secluded backyard. Together, they looked after Garrido’s mother when she began to exhibit the early stages of dementia.
According to Garrido’s brother, Nancy was a “robot” under Phillip’s control. Ron Garrido said his brother, over the subsequent years, spoke of his plans to get rich and start a church of his own. But he never spoke of the girl he was keeping in the backyard. When he learned what his brother had done, Ron said: “It just seems so bizarre, but I can believe it. I know my brother, and I can believe he did that… He’s a fruitcake.”
Nancy started bringing Jaycee her food, but Jaycee could not understand why Nancy had helped Garrido abduct her, or why he had to have sex with her instead of his wife. But these were not topics they could address. Instead they got to talking about Nancy’s job in a nearby convalescent home. Nancy gave Jaycee a teddy bear and some magazines she asked for. Jaycee was also given a Nintendo to pass the time, and Phillip and Nancy sometimes slept in the larger room with her.
Phillip said he was trying to persuade Nancy to join in one of their “runs.” Jaycee prayed she would not agree. They were bad enough—humiliating enough—as it was. At one time, he even wanted Jaycee to have sex with a dog.
On Jaycee’s twelfth birthday, Phillip and Nancy said they had a surprise for her. The surprise was that Nancy had had her hair high-lighted. However, a few days later, Nancy gave her a Birthday Barbie, after Jaycee had figured out how to make Barbie furniture out of empty milk cartons. Jaycee did this because it reminded her of her mother, who had made her Barbie clothes, and her Aunt Tina, who had taught her how to put Barbie’s hair in a ponytail.
Jaycee’s family certainly had not forgotten about her. Her mother, Terry, founded a group called Jaycee’s Hope that raised money to keep her case in the public eye. Her kidnapping also appeared several times on America’s Most Wanted. But there was no clue to her whereabouts and, as in all such cases, people soon found it hard to believe that she was still alive.
After the first year, Phillip, Nancy, and Jaycee spent more time together, eating fast food and watching movies Phillip rented. Nancy brought her books and crayons. Jaycee got the impression that Nancy even liked her. The situation was tough for a twelve-year-old to figure out. How must Nancy feel about Jaycee having sex with her husband? She must also have felt guilty for her part in the abduction, Jaycee surmised. They managed a relationship of sorts, though. On special occasions, Nancy would bring home-cooked food for Jaycee that had been prepared by Phillip’s mother. They talked about music and movies. Nancy explained that Garrido was sweet and nice to her most of the time, but admitted that they smoked weed and crystal meth together.
Then for four weeks, Jaycee was spared having to give Garrido sex. In April 1993, the police had found drugs in the house and he had been sent back to jail for violating the conditions of his parole. During that time, Nancy looked after Jaycee. They slept in the same bed when Jaycee was frightened. But Jaycee recalled being happy to see Garrido when he returned because while he was gone, Nancy did not say much and cried a lot. When he came back, he had an electronic tag on his ankle.
Jaycee learned that Garrido was on parole for rape. He was constantly afraid that his parole agent would show up unexpectedly. But she did not understand why the agent who came to the house did not investigate what was happening in the backyard.
Soon the sexual abuse started again. But the “runs” were shorter and Garrido spent more time reading the Bible. Jaycee managed to get through the sex and the accompanying pain by reminding herself that he became a nice person again once it was over. However, he was getting weird. He said he had begun to hear voices and spent hours listening to the walls.
Sometimes, Jaycee was sent back into the smaller room, which Garrido called the studio. This was because Garrido’s friends came over and they smoked weed and played music in the large room all night.
Garrido bought Jaycee a tent and a sleeping bag. Jaycee considered this ironic as she was not allowed outside. He also bought her a kitten, but it proved a distraction during their “runs” and he got rid of it. Later he bought her another cat, but again took it away after month. This made Jaycee sad, as the various cats reminded her of the one she had had at home.
To pass the time, Jaycee wrote a journal about the cat, but Garrido grew concerned when he saw Jaycee had written her name in it. As a result, she tore off the corner with her name on it and did not write her name on anything again while she was in captivity. Later, she kept a secret journal where she could express her thoughts and feelings, and what she could recall of her previous life. She also speculated about a future away from Garrido. She decided she would like to live in a little cottage that overlooked the ocean. And she wondered whether she would ever be able to bear a man touching her in a sexual way, after what she had been through. She kept this journal hidden, knowing that Garrido would not approve.
On Easter Sunday 1994, Jaycee was moved back into the studio. Garrido said that there were police in the area and she had to be very quiet. Soon after Jaycee began to put on weight, and Phillip and Nancy said they thought she was pregnant. Jaycee was just fourteen. All she knew about babies was that they were born in the hospital. She knew that Garrido would not let her go to the hospital. How was she going to have one there in the backyard? And how could she raise it there in the backyard? She wondered whether they would make her give it up for adoption. But then when she felt the baby kick, she knew she could not give it away. In fact, Garrido seemed happy about her pregnancy, and giving the baby away was never mentioned. At last, Jaycee felt less alone in the world.
She was moved back into the larger room, which was now partitioned. She had the part with no windows. Then Garrido said that he had heard that the house was going to be raided. She would have to be moved. He put a blanket over her again and led her out through the house to his van where Nancy was waiting. Jaycee was hidden under the backseat, then Garrido drove off.
When the van stopped, Jaycee was led to a trailer. As she was pre
gnant, she needed to go to the bathroom—and she found herself in an actual bathroom for the first time in years. It had running water and a flushing toilet. The next morning, Phillip and Nancy said they had to go back to the house to see what was happening. Jaycee cried when she was left alone and was happy when they came back. The next night after driving around to make sure it was safe, they returned to what Jaycee was now calling home.
Garrido began to watch videos about giving birth and tried to assure Jaycee that he knew what he was doing. Besides, Nancy was a nurse’s aide. But when Jaycee had the first contractions, she was alone and there was no one she could call. When they eventually came to check on her, they found her doubled up in pain. During the birth, Garrido found that the umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby’s neck. He freed it, and Jaycee gave birth to a baby girl.
Garrido’s sexual demands lessened after Jaycee gave birth, but did not go away completely. Also, Nancy sometimes took the baby away to sleep with her and Phillip in the studio as if it were her own, plunging Jaycee back into the depths of loneliness.
Jaycee was provided with a microwave oven so she could heat the water he bought in large containers. She was also given diapers, wipes, toys, and the other things that she needed for the baby. Later, Garrido installed a sink so they could have running water. Nancy bought a cockatiel in a cage. During the day, she would take it outside in the sunshine to give it some air. However, she did not do the same for Jaycee and her child. They were still not allowed out. At first the bird was mean, but Jaycee slowly tamed it. Then Nancy left it out late one cold fall evening and it died.
Garrido’s drug intake lessened and there were fewer “runs.” Jaycee hated them and told Garrido, but he insisted that one day she would enjoy them. Her only consolation was that she was saving someone else from going through the same ordeal. There was always that danger. Nancy told her that they drove around school playgrounds and parks where he would secretly videotape little girls. Sometimes he would get Nancy to play with them in the back of the van and get them to do the splits or sit with their legs open. Later, after he had smoked weed and crystal meth, he would watch the videotapes and masturbate.
Jaycee’s first daughter was three and still breast feeding when Jaycee became pregnant again. Garrido bought her a new bed, with bunks for the kids. Her second child, another daughter, was born with a growth above her eye. Garrido said that, if it got any bigger, he would figure out a way to get it examined by a doctor.
He picked names for both girls. Jaycee has never released their names. The U.S. media respected this and has also declined to publish the names, though the names of the children have been published in the foreign press.
Garrido erected a tall fence around the yard, so Jaycee and her children could go outside. Phillip and Nancy said that they could have barbecues out there and be a real family. Eventually, Jaycee was allowed to roam outside in the backyard unsupervised. But escape was still not a possibility. Now that she had children, she was tied to her captors by invisible bonds. Garrido painted a picture of the outside world as a scary place, full of rapists and pedophiles. The only place she and her girls were safe, he said, was with their dad. At least, she would not have to worry about them being abducted as she had been.
With a growing family, Garrido needed to make money, so he set up a printing business, turning the studio into an office. He was against sending children to school. They were better off being taught at home, he said, claiming that he had created the perfect environment for raising children. So Jaycee used the office computer to teach the children the alphabet and numbers. Later, with the help of the Internet and the printing equipment, Jaycee made worksheets and set about educating her children with “class” from ten to two every day.
She also did some design work for Garrido’s business and was grateful to have something useful to do to fill up her time. However, Garrido warned her that he monitored everything she did on the computer, so she did not dare to try to contact her mother via the Internet.
Jaycee even met the business’s customers. When client Ben Daughdrill drove to Garrido’s home outside Antioch, he said he met a polite young woman with blonde hair whom Garrido said was his daughter.
“She was the design person,” said Daughdrill. “She did the art work; she was the genius.”
Daughdrill later said that he had regularly exchanged emails with her and they had even spoken on the phone, but that she had never hinted at her real identity or her secret life.
Nancy quit her job and stayed at home. She encouraged Jaycee to flatter Garrido and build up his ego. He had been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder and was on new medication. She did not want him slipping back into his old ways. He and Nancy had seen a therapist just days before abducting Jaycee and a few days after. The therapist had even made excuses for him to the parole board when his drug test proved positive.
Garrido then insisted that Jaycee’s daughters call Nancy “Mommy,” while Jaycee herself would be the “big sister.” He decided, in that case, Jaycee needed a new name too. She chose “Allissa.”
As the girls grew bigger, they were allowed to climb on the roof to watch the fireworks on the Fourth of July. The following day, they went to the beach. The girls played in the water while Garrido sat on the beach reading the Bible. A few weeks later, Garrido gave Jaycee $100 to go to a nail salon with Nancy. They stopped for fast food on the way back. Soon after that, Jaycee and Nancy went to Walmart together.
More outings followed, but only after Garrido got Nancy to cut Jaycee’s hair short and dye it brown. She had been missing for six years and had put on weight after her pregnancies. Who was going to recognize her? Jaycee was of two minds about being discovered anyway. She longed to shout out her name “Jaycee!” But in public she was now Allissa. She stuck close to Nancy in case someone asked her a question she could not answer. She thought they would say, “Aren’t you that missing girl?” No one ever did. She began to feel as if she was invisible. Garrido said there were angels protecting them. And always there was the backyard to go back to.
Garrido had added a few more tents to accommodate the growing family. They took in stray cats. When high on drugs, Garrido would empty a bucket of urine over a cat that cried because he kept it tied up. Jaycee begged him not to. She was devastated when two dogs from next door broke through the fence and killed her favorite cats. The neighbors must have heard her crying, she thought. Next time she went out shopping with Nancy, she bought two kittens.
They also inherited two dogs from an elderly neighbor who had been taken into nursing care. To stop the dogs from chasing the cats, a dog run was built, and Jaycee would take them for a walk on a leash around the backyard once a day. The animals were a great comfort to her.
A newborn kitten had an eye infection. Garrido allowed Jaycee to take it to the vet, provided she pretended to be his daughter. It was another opportunity to escape. She often thought about escaping, but she knew she could not leave her girls behind.
In December 2003, Jaycee saw on TV that people speculated that Richard Allen Davis, who had been convicted of killing twelve-year-old Polly Klaas in California in 1993, had also killed her. This was a trailer for a news program that Jaycee feared would upset her mom. Jaycee avoided watching the show too.
“Why can’t they just leave it in the past?” she wrote in her journal.
When Garrido’s mother became very ill, he let the two girls stay in the house to keep her company. Then Jaycee was allowed into the house too, to help Nancy look after his mother. Around the same time, the laws on parole were tightened. This meant that Jaycee’s outings were curtailed. A new parole agent was assigned to Garrido. He even saw one of the girls asleep in the house. Nothing was said, and he, too, was soon replaced. Later, Jaycee even got to talk to a visiting parole agent. She asked him whether he was the agent who had walked into her daughter’s bedroom. He said he was not, took Garrido’s urine sample, and left.
Although Jaycee found that bei
ng in the house was better than being in the backyard, the house itself was falling apart. The drains backed up, making it impossible to keep things clean.
The print business was not going well and Garrido talked about setting up a church called “God’s Desire,” which would provide a remedy for rapists and pedophiles. The nation needed to know. On August 24, 2009, he went to the FBI office in San Francisco to deliver a rambling four-page essay called “Schizophrenia Revealed.” He said it showed how sexual predators like him could be cured by ideas about religion and sexuality which had been vouchsafed to him by mysterious voices he had picked up via a “black box” of his own devising. This turned out to be nothing but a cassette recorder with random recordings on it inside a black case. In the essay, he described how having sex with his wife had turned from an act of anger to an act of love, though it was not clear whether, by his “wife,” he meant Nancy or Jaycee.
He took the girls with him on his visit to the FBI, believing that people were more likely to listen to him if they were there. He also visited the University of California in Berkeley to ask for permission to stage a “God’s Desire” event on the campus. The events manager, Lisa Campbell, felt that there was something odd about the two girls he brought with him, whom he introduced as his daughters. She asked campus police officer Ally Jacobs to do a background check on Garrido. When they discovered that Garrido had a rape conviction, she contacted the parole office and registered her concern.
The parole office had not been informed about the two girls, so two parole agents were sent to Garrido’s house. They handcuffed him and searched the place. They found only Nancy and his mother, but they did not look out in the backyard. Then they took Garrido to the parole office. On the way, he explained that the two girls who had accompanied him to UC Berkeley “were the daughters of a relative, and he had permission from their parents to take them to the university.”
Against Their Will Page 2
