by Maggie Walsh
Cass stood frozen, just staring at the spot Michael had been. A breathy laugh bubbled from within, spilling out, echoing through the alley.
The buildings around him swayed, became distorted and blurry as the alley grew out before him, elongating. Then everything shifted and he found himself standing in his old living room.
* * * *
Wow, this dreamwalking shit is trippy, Gabe thought as he looked around the room they now stood in. Suddenly, a feeling of panic rose within him, and he wanted to run and hide. A large hand landed on his shoulder, then another on his other shoulder, he looked to his left and found Micah there, then looked to his right, and found his uncle Raphael. He knew they could both feel his stress level go up and were giving him their support.
Gabe looked back around the room, disgusted to find himself in this place. He never expected to ever step foot in this house of horrors again.
“I don’t want to talk about it, Gabriel. Just go away,” Castiel spat as he walked into the room.
Gabe’s jaw dropped when he saw Cass as a young man of maybe eighteen or nineteen and himself at around twenty-four. Gods, he had forgotten how thin he had been back then. He had started growing in height, but he sure was a beanpole. He had almost forgotten that even Castiel, who was five years young than him, had been bigger than him. Not in inches, but in weight and musculature. Cass had been a good six inches shorter than Gabe, but damn if he wasn’t at least fifty pounds heavier, and it was all muscle.
“Was it those guys at the feed store? Are they messing with you again? If they are then why don’t you just pound them into the ground?” younger Gabe asked as he followed younger Castiel. “You’re bigger than they are and you sure know how to fight better than they do.”
“No, it wasn’t those cocksuckers. I told you, I fell,” Castiel hissed through clenched teeth, not turning to face Gabriel.
“There is no way you fell and broke your arm in three places and your leg in two, unless maybe you jumped off a cliff or something. Thank the gods we’re shifters and heal quickly,” Gabriel argued.
Castiel spun around, his face twisted with anger and his eyes glaring with rage as they bore into Gabriel’s. “Look, Gabriella. I said I fell, so drop it. And if you say one damn word to Michael or Father, I swear I will come to you in the middle of the night and cut your balls off.” Castiel threatened as he gripped the front of Gabe’s shirt and hissed in his face.
The younger Gabe looked so scared, but more sad than anything, as he looked at the younger Castiel with tears in his eyes. “I would never tell Father and you know it. That’s why you had the nurse from the infirmary come for me and not him or Michael, because you knew I wouldn’t say anything.”
“And it better stay that way,” Castiel sneered and released Gabe, throwing him away. Gabe stumbled slightly but caught himself.
“I promise I’ll never tell them, Cassy,” Gabriel whispered sadly, as a single tear rolled down young Gabriel’s cheek, and he quickly wiped it away.
“Shit. Don’t you see that’s why everyone pushes you around? You’re so weak and pathetic, Gabe. Why don’t you grow a fucking backbone for once in your damn life and stop acting like a pussy? If Father finds out you like to fuck other males, he’ll kill you.”
“I don’t! Don’t ever say that!” Gabe yelled in a panic.
“You don’t think I see the way you stare at some of the other males while I’m out in the field training and you’re just sitting on the sidelines like a woman with her knitting? It’s disgusting. So, if you say one word to Father about this and me being in the infirmary today, I’ll tell him about you wanting to lay with males.”
Young Gabriel stood there staring at young Castiel, studying him, his eyes filling with despair. “What happened, Cassy? We used to be so close. You used to be my only friend, but after that night all those years ago, when I hit Michael with the vase, you’ve changed. Sometimes now, you’re worse than they are. Don’t worry, Castiel, your secret is safe with me, and you’ll never have to worry about me saying another word again. About anything,” young Gabriel whispered, then turned and walked from the room.
“Gabe, wait…” Young Castiel’s eyes filled with tears and he took a few steps to race after Gabriel, but then stopped. He stared after the empty space as the tears ran down his cheeks. “Why, gods? Why was I so mean to him? Gabriel has never done anything but try to take care of me, protect me, and love me. He’s the only one in this whole damn family that does love me and I treat him like that.”
“Because love doesn’t exist, little brother, and the sooner you figure that out, the better,” Michael said as he came into the room from the kitchen.
Young Castiel’s jaw and fists clenched tight, and the vein in his temple began to pulse. “Father loves you, so love must exist in some form. Uncle Raphael loves Micah and Raith and they love him, so therefore love does exist,” Castiel argued calmly, his teeth still clenched.
“If love truly existed, then everyone would stop trying to make others what they want them to be, and start letting them be who they are,” Michael replied and walked to the sofa, then dropped down on it and leaned back, slouching against the cushions.
“Like you would know,” Castiel sneered as he turned to face Michael.
“I know a lot more than you think, little Cassy.” Michael laughed.
“Don’t call me that,” Castiel hissed and took a step closer.
“Why not? You seem to like it when Gabe calls you that. Or when Sammy Gotlieb says it to you when you’re alone behind the Seigel’s barn and he has your dick down his throat.” Michael gave him a smirk.
Young Castiel’s eyes widened and filled with fear, and he quickly covered it up, but it was too late, Michael had seen it. “You don’t know shit. You’re just making up lies so you can start trouble.”
“Really? So, you don’t run off every Tuesday morning right after Father leaves on his weekly visit to Westbury for supplies, and meet with Sammy behind the barn so the two of you can rut in the dirt like animals? Then I wonder who that is I have been following for the past six months.”
“You’ve been following me?” Castiel’s voice came out in a whisper, the horror evident in his tone.
“Of course. Just like I follow Gabriella every Friday night after Father goes to Malcolm’s to play poker, and he has his secret rendezvous with Randy Williams. The two of you are so pathetic. Such little women letting other men have your asses. Real men don’t submit—they dominate. They take what they want. They demand what they want,” Michael said.
“So, what are you going to do?” Castiel asked, his voice shaking with fear.
“I thought you were better than our little Gabriella, but obviously, I was wrong. But I think there is still hope for you. You’re growing up to be one hell of a man, Castiel. I wonder what Father would do if he got a tip where Gabriel was every Friday night and he just happened to stumble upon him and his lover. His very male lover.”
“No! Don’t tell Father. You know what he’ll do to Gabe if he finds out,” Castiel begged as he took a few steps forward.
“Then what are you going to do to save your precious Gabriel again? For years, you have been taking beatings for him, but this…this is beyond any normal secret, or punishment.”
“What do you want? I’ll do whatever you ask.”
“Whatever I ask?” Michael said in interest as he raised a brow.
“Yes. Just don’t tell Father, and leave Gabe alone.”
“That’s more than one thing, so it’ll cost you.”
“Fine, whatever you want. I give you my word,” Castiel pleaded.
“Your word as a man?”
“Yes, on my honor,” Castiel promised.
Michael gave him a hungry look, then slid down further on the sofa and spread his legs, then slowly slid his hand down his chest to his waistband and shoved his hand inside, gripping the growing bulge there.
Castiel’s eyes went wide. “No,” he whispered in horror.
“But, you’re my brother,” Castiel sneered in disgust.
“Oh please. I am no more your brother than I am Gabriel’s. Neither of you share Father’s blood, and that whore upstairs you call a mother, isn’t my mother. Father killed my mother when I was ten. He was so enraged at something Uncle Raphael did and when he came home, my mother was being her usual bitch of a self and fought with Father about what a disgusting beast he was. In his rage, he choked the life from her, then buried her ass in the backyard.”
“What? That fucking bastard was even more twisted than I ever imagined,” Papa Angel hissed.
“So, Lucius wasn’t our father, and Michael wasn’t our brother?” Gabe asked in shock.
“Now get your ass over here and do as you promised. Your word as a man, remember?”
“Oh fuck no. No, no, no, don’t. Don’t you fucking dare tell me this!” Gabe cried out, his head snapping around to look at Cass. Cass was standing a few feet from him, Kia on one side holding him, and Raith on the other with an arm wrapped over his shoulders. Kia had tears running down his cheeks, and Raith’s face was twisted with rage. Gabe could see Raith was trying his best to stand still and not attack. It would be useless anyway seeing as they weren’t really here.
“I said get your ass over here, now,” Michael snapped.
The nineteen-year-old Castiel’s head dropped, his chin to his chest, and his shoulders shook. He took a deep breath and released it, then slowly walked to where Michael sat, stopping just before him.
“That’s better. You’re learning. Don’t make me ever say things twice or you know how bad it will get for you. And if you ever refuse me, I will make Gabriel pay for it, then I’ll tell Father all about how both of you like to take it up the ass. You know what you have to do,” Michael demanded and Castiel dropped to his knees.
The room blurred and changed. When it re-focused they were now standing in a field, the tree line behind them. A soft whimpering sound came from within and they all turned to face it.
“This is the meadow where we had our pack meetings,” Papa Angel said.
“Yeah, our house was right through the trees over there, down that path, and far on that side was the way to Lucius’s house,” Raith added.
“Who is that?” Micah asked as he looked toward a figure running through the field, coming fast and getting closer.
“It’s me,” Cass whispered.
They watched as an older Castiel, of maybe twenty-one, ran right up to them and straight through them. They turned to see where he was going, then followed. That whimpering sound came again, but louder, as if they were getting closer. After walking a few yards, they came to a large rock formation and walked around it. A still stream sat behind it and kneeling on its edge was Castiel. He was looking down at something and shaking his head. As they approached, they could see that there was a body lying half in the water. It was Gabriel.
He was lying motionless, his body covered in cuts and bruises, he looked like he had been beaten to within an inch of his life. What looked like claw marks marred his flesh, with blood oozing and running into the water below him. His eyes were swollen shut, lips thick and split, as blood streamed from his nose. A bite mark could be seen on his ear, as if someone had tried to bite it off. The flesh hung loose at an odd angle.
“Please don’t die, Gabe. Please. Not now. Not like this. I tried to get to you. I tried to save you, but I couldn’t. I’m so sorry, Gabriel. I’m so sorry. Please don’t die. I should have never told him no. If I hadn’t refused him he wouldn’t have come after you,” Castiel cried, tears streaming down his cheeks, as he ran a hand gently down one side of Gabe’s face.
“See what you’ve done, little brother? This is all your fault. I warned you what would happen if you ever refused me. I told you I would go back to Gabriel. But you didn’t listen, so this is all on you. His blood is on your hands,” Michael sneered as he stepped around the boulders.
“He’s dying. Please help him,” Castiel begged.
“When are you going to learn he’s not worth it?”
“Why doesn’t Father just let him go live with Micah if he believes Micah is Gabe’s Father?” Castiel sobbed.
“What?” Micah, Raith, and Papa Angel all said together.
Gabe’s head snapped in Micah’s direction, his eyes wide. “I have never had sex with a woman in my life, Gabe,” Micah said.
“I told you already, you stupid twit. When Micah is ready to take his place as alpha, Father will step forward and tell the pack how Micah raped your mother and impregnated her with that bastard child. Then they will rip him apart, which will destroy that bitch Hillary’s claim of alpha female, and leave alpha for me,” Michael spat.
“If you were so fucking smart, you wouldn’t have touched him!” Castiel screamed as he jumped to his feet.
“You better watch your tone with me, boy,” Michael snapped.
“You think you’re so fucking smart, but if you kill Gabriel how is Father going to use him against Micah, huh? Tell me that, asshole!”
Michael’s face went lax for a moment and his eyes filled with fear, but he quickly shook it off. “He’ll be fine, even for the little pussy he is. A few shifts and he’ll be good as new.”
“Watch and listen,” Kia whispered.
“You better hope so, boy, or I will take it out on your hide,” Lucius sneered as he came out of the woods.
“Father,” Michael whispered, his voice shaking slightly.
“What the hell? Why is he not going to Gabriel? Lucius, you fucking asshole! Your son is dying!” Papa Angel yelled and ran forward, screaming in Lucius’s face, but he couldn’t hear him.
“Gabriel. Why is nobody helping Gabriel?” Papa Angel cried and ran to him, dropped down on his knees, and tried to touch him, but his hands just went through him.
“Listen,” Kia repeated. Papa Angel stood and faced the horrific scene.
“What did you do to him, Michael? How many times have I told you not to lose control with these two pieces of trash?” Lucius screamed and smacked Michael against the side of his head hard, sending him off balance.
“I know, Father. I’m sorry, but he was bitching about you and I was trying to teach him a lesson,” Michael pleaded.
“Don’t lie to me, boy. I know what you were doing. I have spent almost a hundred years cleaning up after your proclivity for males. Your sickness has caused me too much trouble as it is. I told you to keep it in our house, and never in public where someone could stumble upon you and go to my worthless brother, but you didn’t listen. And if you had the need to fight, rip, and tear, you are supposed to go far from our lands. You were never to involve them or anyone in this pack for your demonic needs,” Lucius snarled and smacked Michael against the head again.
“You knew your evil son was doing things to your other sons and you did nothing? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Papa Angel screeched through clenched teeth.
“Bring me back in physical form, Kia, so that I can kill him myself,” Micah demanded.
“I’m sorry, but you know I cannot. It would change everything,” Kia answered.
“I’m sorry, Father. I lost control. It’s been so long since you’ve allowed me to leave the pack. You know I can’t control it when it takes over me,” Michael whined.
“You son of a bitch,” Castiel whispered. His eyes filled with horror as he stared at Lucius.
Lucius turned his angry gaze to Castiel. “Don’t you talk to me like that, boy. I will whip you raw.”
“You knew? All these years and you knew. You let this happen. You told him to…how could you? You’re a monster,” Castiel spat through clenched teeth.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. You have no idea what we’re discussing. Take your pathetic brother home and clean him up,” Lucius ordered.
Castiel stepped forward, not stopping until he stood right before Lucius. He slid a ha
nd around to his back and pulled something from his pants. “You’re the pathetic one, Father,” Cass sneered and brought his arm around, then thrust it into Lucius. Lucius’s eyes went wide in surprise, and before he could react, Castiel brought his hand back and thrust it forward again, slamming it back into Lucius over, and over again.
Lucius slumped forward and dropped to the ground as Michael came up behind Castiel and tackled him, grabbing his hand. The object Castiel had been holding flew from his grip and landed on the ground a few feet away. They all looked to see a bloody blade lying there. Castiel fought Michael, the two rolling around on the ground, each throwing punches.
“Oh, my gods. Suddenly I remember this. Why have I never remembered this?” Cass asked absently.
Kia wrapped his arms around Cass and kissed his biceps. “Because sometimes when things are so traumatic, our brain protects us and blocks them out, making us forget. But eventually everything comes back to us. Something triggers our memory and it all either crashes into us, or slowly seeps in. That is what has been happening to you, mate. All these memories were right there in your subconscious and they were coming to you in your dreams, but when you awoke, they hid again. But something triggered them and your conscious mind has started to remember. That is why you have been becoming angry and lashing out. It wasn’t the demon spear that caused it.”
They looked back to the fight between Michael and Castiel. Each was now dripping blood from his mouth and nose. Lucius lay moaning on the ground not far away, blood pooling around him. Michael rolled Castiel and sat on top of him and wrapped his hands around Castiel’s throat, choking him. Castiel thrashed below him, trying to buck Michael off as he scratched and clawed at Michael’s hands, his lips and face turning blue. Castiel’s claws came out from his fingertips and he ripped Michael’s hands, causing him to release his hold on Castiel and pull back. Castiel punched Michael in the face, sending him flying backward.
