by Amy Lillard
“Hi, Nancy,” Kappy greeted. “How are you?”
Nancy glanced from Kappy to Edie, then back again. “I’m canning pickles.”
She had asked how she was, not what she was doing, but Kappy couldn’t call her on it.
“We came to talk to Jonah for a bit.” Edie shaded her eyes as she stepped forward.
Nancy continued to smile politely at Kappy. Edie may have spoken, but it was apparent that Nancy wasn’t about to answer.
“I thought I would bring Jimmy by,” Kappy said. “He wanted to see your pigs, and I thought I would check on Jonah.”
Nancy pressed her lips together and nodded. “Danki.”
“Don’t mind me,” Edie grumbled.
Kappy nudged her in the ribs. Not hard enough to hurt, but enough to let her know the next one just might.
“Jonah’s in the barn. I suppose that’s where Chris got off to as well.” She shook her head. “That boy loves his animals.”
Edie smiled. “Jimmy, too.”
Nancy stared at Kappy.
“Are you doing okay?” Kappy asked.
Nancy gave a small shrug. “As well as can be expected.” For a moment Kappy expected Nancy to tear up, perhaps even start to cry, but her expression remained calm and impassive.
She nodded. “You’ll let me know if you need anything?”
“Of course.” But Kappy had a feeling she would never hear from Nancy Esh. She was deep in grief and denial. Or maybe she had convinced herself that she was moving forward, but Kappy could see it in her eyes. She had stopped living. She might be going through the motions, but she was as good as dead inside. And until she shook that she wouldn’t recognize that she needed any help.
“Good.” Kappy turned to go to the barn, then stopped. “Has Alma been by to see you?”
“Comes by every day.”
That was good. At least someone was checking on Nancy. In the upcoming months she was going to need all the caring she could get.
Like most barns, the one belonging to the Esh family was cool, dark, and smelled like hay.
“I don’t know why I put up with that,” Edie grumbled as she followed behind Kappy.
“Because you have no choice.”
“Harrumph.”
“Stop,” Kappy commanded. “At least it gives you something to complain about.”
“Like I want to complain.” She crossed her arms. “Are we going to look at these pigs?”
She shook her head. “We’re supposed to be talking to Jonah.”
“Like he’s going to talk to me.”
“Fine. Stay here.”
But apparently, Edie couldn’t stand the thought of being on her own. “Ugh. I’ll go look at the pigs. Surely that won’t be a violation of the Ordnung.”
“I don’t believe there’s anything about pigs in the Ordnung.”
The pigs were adorable. Something Kappy never thought she would say about pigs. Edie thought so as well. She didn’t say as much, but Kappy could tell by the look on her face.
Jimmy was equally enchanted. He sat with Chris in the hay with the little piglets, watching them tumble over one another in their play.
Jonah was a different matter altogether. He stood to one side, leaning against the slatted wall of the barn. His arms were folded across his front and a gloomy look played around his eyes.
Edie touched Kappy’s arm and nodded in his direction. Kappy dipped her chin in acknowledgment and went to stand next to him.
He barely moved as she slid in beside him.
“How are you, Jonah?”
He cleared his throat and stood a little straighter. “I’m fine.”
“I apologize for saying so, but you don’t look fine.”
A sad smile toyed with the corners of his mouth. “You usually tell it like it is, Kappy King. Why are you apologizing now?”
Kappy jerked a thumb over her shoulder. “I think I’ve been hanging around with Blondie too long.” She leaned a little closer to him. “It’s making me soft.”
She actually got a chuckle out of him with that one. “I would say hi, but you know.”
“Jah. I know. And she does, too.” She paused for a second. “I hate to bring it up, but did you know there are rumors floating around about you now?”
Jonah shook his head. “I know. People can’t leave well enough alone.”
“Are the rumors true?”
He straightened to his full height, casting a dark shadow over Kappy. She wasn’t afraid of him. She had known him his entire life, but there was something a little menacing in his new posture. “What difference does it make if they are? If I want to date an Englisch girl, isn’t that between me and God?”
“And your parents?”
His gaze hardened until it was blue ice. “My sister died. She was run off the road, and it should have been me. I make the deliveries. But not that day. And look what happened. I’m not that concerned about what other people think about my dating habits. I all but killed my sister myself.”
* * *
“What do you make of it?” Edie asked once they were back at her house.
Kappy mulled over all that had happened between her and Jonah Esh. “He seemed defensive.” She nodded as if she needed to reinforce her own words. “Like people have been hassling him about it, and he was tired of answering questions.”
“His parents?”
“Maybe, but it sounded to me more like other people.”
“His friends? Youth group?”
“Probably. You know how tight those kids get during rumspringa.”
“And he’s already joined the church,” Edie added.
“Right. So if he leaves now—”
“He’ll be shunned,” Edie finished.
“I’m not sure he cares as much about that as he does losing his sister. That was all he wanted to talk about. How it was his fault, and he should have been the one.”
“It’s possible,” Edie said. “We know he’s usually the one who makes the deliveries.”
“But at first I thought that was just, you know, he should have been the one because it was usually him,” Kappy said. “But what if he feels he should be the one because he should have been the one?”
Edie frowned. “I’m not following.”
“What if whoever killed Sally June wasn’t after pickles?”
“What were they after then?”
“I don’t know.” Kappy shrugged.
“That takes out our number-one suspect.”
“But should Bettie Hershberger be our number-one suspect if she isn’t guilty?”
“You got me there.” Edie sat back in her chair. “There’s something we’re missing here.”
Kappy couldn’t help but feel the same. It was as if the answer was right under their noses, but they couldn’t see it because they were so close. Or maybe it was the opposite and they were so far out they weren’t even in the same area.
“Maybe we should go over it again.”
Kappy shook her head. “Going over all the facts isn’t going to change anything.”
“Maybe not, but at least I would feel like I was doing something.”
“Maybe we should go by the school and talk to the auto teacher about the car.”
“You really think whoever owns the car took it there instead of to a regular repairman?”
“Why not? Delilah Swanson didn’t want her husband to know that she had hit a shopping cart in the parking lot at the grocery store. In the big scheme of things that was nothing, right? Whoever hit Sally June has to worry about car repairs, people finding out, and going to prison for murder.”
“Or manslaughter.”
“Last time I heard, they lock you up in the same prison for either one.”
Edie nodded. “It’s a little late anyway.” School was already out for the day.
“We could go Monday.”
“Monday it is. In the meantime, we can say a little prayer that we get another text.”
Kappy agree
d. “Amen.”
* * *
Sunday dawned a bright and beautiful fall day. Kappy had always loved Sundays. Even though she was thought of as an outlier, there was something about church that made her view herself as if she wasn’t any different from the others in her district. Sunday was special. Sunday brought everyone together and on Sunday the only thing that should have been on her mind was attending church and learning more about God’s word.
Yet all she could think about was having an excuse to see Silas again. She was being ridiculous, but something in the way he smiled at her made her feel . . . safe. Accepted. Jah, accepted. As if she hadn’t been raised on the fringes. As if she were just like everyone else. And yet the way he smiled at her made her feel singled out. As if she were the only woman in the world. Special. Weird how both feelings came on at once.
When she and Jimmy pulled up to the Esh farm and parked the buggy, there was something different in the air, almost a crackling electricity that happens just before the storm.
Jimmy shuddered.
“What is it?” Kappy asked. The weather was turning cooler, but it was by no means coat weather.
“I don’t know. Things just feel different.”
She could feel it, too, but she didn’t want to say as much and alarm Jimmy. “I’m sure it’s nothing.” Maybe an out-of-town visitor.
“There’s Chris.” Jimmy pointed toward his young friend.
“Go on ahead,” she told him.
Jimmy smiled and loped after his buddy.
“Kappy.” She whirled around at the sound of her name. A small part of her jumped at the chance that it would be Silas calling her name, but Hiram strode toward her. The look on his face was as far from peaceful as possible. He looked as if he hadn’t slept all night. His clothes weren’t wrinkled and his hair—what she could see of it from under his hat—was neatly combed. But something about him was pinched and sad. Maybe even a little worn-out.
“Can I talk to you?” he asked.
“Of course.”
He motioned her through the other church members who were waiting for the start of today’s service and directed her toward the horse pasture on the far side of the chicken coop. The locale gave them a measure of privacy without taking them too far from the rest of the congregation.
“Are you okay?” Kappy asked. Frankly, his expression was starting to worry her. Something had happened. “What are you doing here, anyway?” This wasn’t his church.
“Willie called last night.”
“He called?” Somehow Kappy kept her voice to a reasonable level. Only one person turned to see what the commotion was.
“He left a message.” Hiram moved a bit closer so she could better hear him. She could also inhale the scent that belonged to only him, that mixture of spicy aftershave and clean detergent. He looked so handsome today in his starched white shirt and black fitted vest. Yet she hadn’t thought of him in days. Not since she wrote her pros and cons list for him and Silas. Neither man won. But neither man lost, either.
“What did he say?”
“He said he wanted to come home, but he couldn’t. Not yet. He said that it wasn’t safe. What do you suppose that means, it’s not safe?”
Probably just what he said, was on the tip of her tongue, but she managed to bite it back. Hiram didn’t need her pragmatic side. He needed a supportive friend, and that was just what she would be. “Maybe he’s just scared.”
“Jah. But of what?”
Kappy didn’t have an answer for that. Well, not one that would make him feel better and allow her to keep the investigation a secret. She and Edie hadn’t talked about whether or not to tell Hiram about the text exchange. Mainly because they didn’t know if it was truly Willie on the other side. But this sealed it. Who else could be sending the texts? No one save Willie Lapp.
Indecision warred within her. No, they hadn’t talked about it. But Edie hadn’t wanted the police to know. Well, knowing the content of the text wasn’t a problem; it was the fact that she would lose her phone to them if she let them know that a witness to the Sally June Esh accident had been texting them. Kappy just didn’t know what to do.
Hiram worried his lip, then shook his head. Maybe there was something that he wasn’t telling her. “It’s just . . .” he started.
“What?” Kappy asked.
Hiram sucked in a deep breath. “Before Willie disappeared, he’d been hanging around Jonah Esh. And Jonah . . . well, I’ve heard that Jonah was hanging around Englischers.” He shook his head. “It worries me. I know I’m supposed to trust God. I just don’t trust the world and that’s exactly where he is, Kappy.”
His expression was so raw and earnest that she couldn’t stop her next words. “I’m sure he’ll be fine, Hiram.”
He looked at her then, his expression full of pleading hope. “You really think so?”
Kappy smiled, looked right into his green eyes, and lied. “Of course I do.”
Chapter 19
Lord, please forgive me that lie.
They were nearly at the end of the three-hour church service, and Kappy had barely heard one word. The entire time she had been silently praying for God to forgive her the lie she told Hiram.
She wasn’t in the habit of lying to people, but sometimes the truth was too much to bear. And in this case with Hiram, there was no truth. Only speculation, and she would prefer to speculate that Willie would come out of this completely unharmed. If she could choose, she wouldn’t have it any other way.
The congregation stood, turned around, and knelt to pray. Kappy did her best to clear her mind of her own prayers and pray for others. So many people in the community were hurting. So many things to pray for, yet something in Hiram’s eyes after she told him that Willie would be just fine haunted her. And she knew if something happened to Willie, she wouldn’t be able to forgive herself. Yet she couldn’t tell Hiram anything else.
The congregation stood and faced front while the bishop went over a few last-minute announcements. Then they were dismissed for their after-church meal.
According to tradition, the men set up the tables from the church benches while the women brought out the food. The first tables of congregants were served and ate, then the second.
Perhaps she could get Jimmy to consent to leave early, and they could head out as soon as the meal mess was cleaned up. Most everyone there had an animal of some sort that needed afternoon care. But if she could convince Jimmy that he needed to get home and give his critters the upmost attention, then she might be able to avoid the feeling of dread that plagued her. Hiram had left as they had started to file into the house for the service, but the regret and heaviness had stayed with her the entire morning.
As it had been for the last couple church Sundays, Bettie Hershberger brought her green pickles and stacked the jars neatly on the table next to the Esh family’s white church pickles. This Sunday a few more brave souls had ventured to the green side. It wasn’t that there were no green pickles in all of the valley, but church pickles . . . they were supposed to be white. At least in Kappy’s district they were.
After she ate, Kappy did her part of the cleanup, then went in search of Jimmy. She spied him on the other side of the pasture talking to Chris Esh. A litter of black-and-white puppies tumbled in the grass at their feet.
Oh, no! Puppies. Like he didn’t get enough of those at home. It might take her an hour or better to get him away from the adorable creatures.
She had to try. She started toward the pair, then someone called her name.
She turned to find Silas Hershberger, and she stopped in her tracks. Silas smiled, maybe because she was waiting for him to catch up with her. Or maybe he seemed so happy and carefree because Hiram had seemed so worried.
“I’m glad I caught you,” he said, drawing near.
“Jah? You wanted to talk to me about something?”
“Not really.”
“Did you need me to do something special?” She and his aunt had talked a
bout special-order kapps a couple of weeks ago.
But Silas shook his head. “No.” He smiled.
She started to ask if he was having a problem, but he spoke before she could get the question out. “I just wanted to talk to you.”
She hooked a thumb back at herself. “Me?” she mouthed, then instantly wished she hadn’t.
“Jah, you.” He continued to smile at her with those so-fantastic-they-almost-looked-fake teeth. “Mamm said she would like for you to come to supper sometime next week.”
Kappy’s grin froze on her face. She had barely been invited to Hiram’s mother’s for dinner. It was well known that Janet Lapp didn’t exactly approve of Hiram and Kappy as a couple. Some of it, Kappy was sure, had to do with the fact that she was Byler Amish instead of Renno as they were, but somehow she knew it went a little deeper than that. Janet was always cordial to Kappy, but she could never say even once that the woman had been genuinely friendly. “You want me? To come to supper?”
He nodded. “Jah. Of course. You can bring Jimmy, too. If you need to.”
“I would like that.”
His smile deepened. “Good. I’ll come by sometime tomorrow, and we can work out the details.”
“Sounds great.”
He gave her a quick bow, then turned to work his way through the crowd.
Kappy stared after him, wondering if this was a date. It sure felt like one. The mere thought made her feet feel as light as the clouds. She floated over to Jimmy so they could go home.
* * *
“I told you he liked you.” Jimmy grinned at her from across the table.
The first thing that Kappy had done when she got home was grab Elmer and get back up to Edie’s. She had to tell Edie about Silas’s supper invitation.
Edie shot him an affectionate glare. “Don’t you have puppies to feed?”
He nodded. “And ducks and gerbils. But I don’t have any goats or pigs to feed. I really would like to feed a pig.”
Kappy hid her smile at his unveiled attempts to get more pets. Kappy figured if he had his way, he would have his own Noah’s ark.
“I believe you’ve mentioned that,” Edie said.
“Just making sure.” Jimmy winked and let himself out of the house.
