by Harper James
Ugh, football made me think of sitting in another car entirely, beside Landon as we watched the Seahawks players walk into his center. I blinked the image away, focusing on Ben.
“That would be a change from the desert,” he said, cracking a smile. “Why were you late to the internship?”
I sunk into the seat. “It’s a long story.”
“Maybe you can tell me later. This is where we’re going,” he said, pulling into a parking lot. Neon beckoned us to TIki Bobs Cantina, where a big thatched roof covered a sweeping outdoor patio. Melodies from a mariachi band trickled out into the night air.
“This looks fun,” I said. And I meant it. Maybe my apartment sucked, but the lab had been great, and Ben seemed nice. Every time I thought of Landon it felt like I’d been stabbed in the chest, but maybe this would get my mind of him for a night.
We headed across the lot, entering the patio through a side gate. Ben waved at three others, two guys and another girl I recognized from the lab. They’d breezed in and gathered materials before disappearing again.
“Hey everyone,” Ben said, “I found the straggler.”
“Hola,” I said, waving awkwardly. “Me Llamo Taryn.”
The girl laughed. “You retained your high school Spanish better than I did,” she said. “I’m Amy. That’s Paul and Nick, otherwise known as Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum.”
“Hey!” one of them said. “My GPA is higher than yours.”
Amy grinned. “You took a photography course last quarter.”
“And?”
She shook her head. I liked her already.
Ben pulled out a chair, waiting for me to sit so he could push it back in.
Ben sat beside me, just as a waitress came by. She talked us both into their signature drink, something with rum, served in a coconut. The hot Texas night mingled with the scent of citrus, and if I closed my eyes and let the sounds of the band drift over me, I could almost pretend I was on a beach in Mexico.
Ben was sitting close to me, his knee bumping mine when he moved, just enough that I knew it was not accidental. He caught my eye, flashing me a brilliant smile.
It was entirely different than Landon’s. Landon’s smile was reserved for those special moments, when he forgot to be guarded, forgot to overthink it. Ben’s was wide and open, carefree. He was happy, relaxed in a way Landon wouldn’t understand.
“Were you really going to take a bus home?” he asked.
I twisted in my chair so I could face him, looping my elbow over the back of the seat. “Yeah. It’s not a big deal.”
“Maybe not, but it’s a pain in the ass. Write down your address later, and I’ll pick you up in the morning.”
“You don’t even know if I’m on your way,” I said, laughing.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, leaning forward. His blonde hair slipped into his eyes. “No intern left behind.”
I snorted. “I mean if you’re going to twist my arm.”
The waitress returned, setting two coconuts with bright yellow straws in front of us. TIKI BOB’S CANTINA was hand-carved into the husk. I took a sip, eager for the warm buzz of alcohol. It was sweet, and utterly delicious, and as I settled into my seat, I breathed a sigh of relief. This I could do. Befriending my fellow interns. Going out and getting to know a new city.
Burying thoughts of Landon at the bottom of a drink.
Ben’s phone chirped, and he glanced at the screen.
“Girlfriend?” I asked.
“Nah, I’m single.” He held up his phone, still on the lock screen. “It’s my sister asking if I’m being lame and studying on a Friday night.”
He unlocked his phone, flipping the camera on and leaning up against me. His cologne washed over me, a stark contrast to Landon’s. It was fresh and piney, so different form the deeper, woodsy scents Landon preferred. “I need a picture, because she won’t believe I’m forsaking my hermit ways.”
I laughed, leaning against him, holding my drink up and smiling into the camera.
The photo turned out cute, with the dim green glow of the portico and the coconuts making it look like we were on a beach somewhere tropical.
“That’s cute. Send it to me,” I said. I’d use it as evidence to Annie I wasn’t sitting around moping over Landon the whole time.
“What’s your number?” he asked.
I rattled it off, watching as he punched he digits into his phone. I couldn’t miss the glances the other three exchanged, and I tried not to blush. I wasn’t giving him my number so we could go out, or something. I’d be working with him for the next six weeks. If he was actually going to spare me from a long, miserably hot bus ride every day, we’d need to swap numbers.
My phone chirped, and I pulled it out of my pocket, expecting to see the photo on screen. But it wasn’t the only notification on my screen Above the picture from Ben, was a text from Landon.
My heart galloped to life.
Where are you? He asked.
There were so many things I wanted to respond with. Far from your wife was one. Or Screw you, as an alternative.
I settled on, Leave me alone. I went to Dallas for the internship.
I set my phone back on the table, taking a sip from the coconut when his reply lit up my screen.
I need to talk to you.
The time for talking was done. He was married, and I was thousands of miles away. Sorry, busy.
I’d barely hit send when his response came in. Make time for me, it said.
I’m out with friends. Without giving it a second thought, I sent him the photo. Proof that he wasn’t the only one that had a life. He could think whatever he wanted about me and Ben. He was married, and I didn’t belong to him.
I turned my phone on silent and shoved it into my purse. I wasn’t going to let him ruin this for me. There was no Landon and me, not when he was married to picture-perfect Alexa.
“Something wrong?”
I took a long sip from the coconut to buy myself time. “Just an ex.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I said, all but draining my drink. “We left things in kind of a rough spot.”
He reached over, resting his hand on my knee. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” I said, giving him a warm smile. “I just want to forget about him, you know?”
“I think that can be arranged,” he said, motioning the waitress over and ordering two shots of Tequila.
“Anything for you?” the waitress asked, turning to the other three at the table. Amy yawned. “Nah, I think I’m taking off. Still having trouble adjusting to the time zone change.”
“And you’re our ride,” Paul said, “So I guess that’s it for us too.”
Moments later it was just Ben, me, and two shots of Tequila.
“Cheers,” he said, holding up the glass and clicking it against mine.
The tequila burned on its way down, but after a bit into the lime, the after taste melted away.
“I haven’t had tequila since I was at UW,” I said, and then froze.
“I thought you were still a student?” Ben asked.
Oops. Alcohol had clearly loosened up my lips. I glanced away, taking in the clusters of tables under the thatched-roof. In the corner, the band switched songs.
“That’s a cute dance floor,” I said, pointing. “They’ll be starting a conga line any moment now.”
“We should dance,” he replied instantly.
I wasn’t sure.
Our gazes locked. His eyes were so different from Landon’s, so much brighter. Like he hadn’t dealt with a rough childhood, left a string of bad decisions in his wake. And maybe for a different girl, she would find his boyish enthusiasm and optimism exciting and even sexy.
But for me, his simple friendliness was merely a reminder of the heat and intensity that I had with Landon. A heat that I knew was irreplaceable.
Still, a little dancing with a friendly guy couldn’t hurt. Anything to forget the person I’d left behind.
/> “Sure,” I said, shrugging.
He grabbed my hand, and we wove through the tables, toward the open dance floor. A half-dozen couples danced on a parquet floor, something vaguely resembling a salsa.
“Oh,” I said, rethinking this idea. “I don’t actually know how to Salsa.”
“I’ll lead,” he said, pulling me onto the floor.
Our arms were around one another before I could blink. “You know how to Salsa?”
I didn’t know why I was so surprised. Ben seemed too earnest to dance such a seductive dance. Too… harmless?
“My sister is a dance major. When we were kids she made me attend classes with her, because there were too many girls and she couldn’t find a partner. Some of the lessons struck.”
And with that, he led me into the dance. I knew we were doing the most elementary of the maneuvers, but as he turned and spun me around the floor, I couldn’t help but enjoy it. I couldn’t help but laugh and enjoy myself, as he pushed me away, and then closer, as he dipped me and twisted me in ways I didn’t even know I could move.
The rhythm of the song faded out as someone stepped between us, breaking the hold he had on my back. I knew who it was before I looked up, because I recognized the Rolex watch on his wrist. My heart stilled, and guilt—damn it, I shouldn’t feel guilt—made my chest squeeze.
Somehow Landon had tracked me down to this bar.
How did he find me?
Why was he here?
My eyes traveled up his sports jacket, to the storm brewing in his eyes. “I need to speak to you,” he said, his voice low, level. But I didn’t miss the emotions raging beneath, didn’t miss the tension in his shoulders.
“How the hell did you find me?” I asked. But the answer didn’t matter. I stepped back, wanting space.
Ben reached around Landon, as if to touch me, as if to see if I was okay.
“Touch her again and I’ll break your hand,” Landon growled.
“Landon!” I smack his arm. “Jesus, tone it down. I don’t know how you found me, or why you’re here, but I was fine, and I don’t need you to go all meathead on me now, okay?”
Ben stepped away from Landon, maintaining his distance as he caught my eye. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
“It’s fine,” I said, glaring at Landon. “He’s not going to hurt you. Or me. He wouldn’t lay a hand on me. He’s just an asshole.”
Landon didn’t react, as if he was fine with the label. As if he embraced it.
“Do you need me to take you home?” Ben said, his face as earnest and naïve as could be.
Landon laughed. “She’s not getting in the car with you, buddy. Not on your best day. And you’ve been drinking, so if you think I’m letting that happen, you must really be an idiot.”
“Like she’s going to go home with you?”
“Will both of you just stop?!” I shouted
They were staring one another down, like they wanted to have a duel. But I could see that Ben was scared, that he could sense Landon was not to be trifled with.
“Ben, I’ll catch up with you tomorrow at the lab, okay? Landon and I need to discuss some things.”
And then I stomped away, making a bee-line for our table so I could snag my purse and throw down twenty dollars to cover the two drinks. Landon followed, like a dark shadow behind me, as I exited the restaurant and spotted the luxury car parked in the corner. I didn’t have to ask if it was Landon’s, and when he hit the door lock, I said nothing, just climbed into the car and slammed the door.
He slid in, and then we were leaving the restaurant behind and gliding across the surface roads.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, finally. Unable to take sitting beside him and not knowing what he was thinking. I wanted to scream at him, to make him feel the hurt and betrayal I did… but I also wanted to just beg him to stop the car and kiss me. “There’s nothing left between us.”
“There will always be something between us,” Landon said.
“When did you get here?” I asked, ignoring his response.
“I flew in this morning.”
“How did you know I was at that bar?”
He grabbed his phone and unlocked the screen, holding it up.
It was me and Ben, and those coconut drinks. The one I was holding had the logo for Tiki Bobs Cantina face-out. I hadn’t noticed in the picture, but even if I had, it shouldn’t’ have mattered. When I sent him that picture, I’d thought he was hundreds of miles away.
“Pull over,” I said, and I didn’t have to ask twice. He yanked hard on the wheel, skidding to a stop on a gravel turnout, under an old acacia tree.
“As you wish,” he said, quoting from The Princess Bride.
I rolled my eyes, not falling for his charming act. “Talk,” I said. “You came here to talk to me, so talk. And then afterward you’re going to drop me off at my apartment and go back to your wife.”
He leaned back in his seat, rubbing a hand over his face. “I miss you,” he said. And his tone told me it was the hardest sentence he’d ever spoken. Like he didn’t want to admit it to me, let alone himself.
“I went three years without you,” I told him. “It’s been a day and you’re already whining.”
“I deserve that.”
“You deserve a lot more,” I said, anger lacing my tone.
“I don’t know how to make it up to you,” he said. “How to prove to you that you’re the only one who matters.”
“You can’t,” I said, sorrow filling my words. “I’m terrified that loving you means signing up for a broken heart.”
His eyes softened, and when he reached over for my hand, I didn’t have the strength to yank it away.
“You can trust me,” he insisted.
“I tried that,” I said, shaking my head through the tears that threaten. “And then Alexa showed up.”
“I need you,” he said, his voice ragged and raw. “Alexa was a terrible mistake I made—and believe me, I’m paying for it now.”
A car drove by, making me jump. I felt like I was standing at cross roads, except there were a thousand different choices, and none of them seemed right.
“Where are you staying?” I asked, shoving away all the doubts and fears. Maybe it was the two drinks. Maybe it was the presence of Landon.
“The Four Seasons, downtown.”
“Do you think we could go there?” I asked, my heart hammering harder.
I knew it was all wrong, that Landon was bad news, would always be bad news, and that he had never truly been able to be honest with me. He was always going to keep a part of himself and his life secret, so I would never be allowed all the way in.
But the truth was, I could never resist him.
He didn’t answer, just put the car in gear.
We stood in silence in the elevator, as the floors dinged ever upward, until we emerged on the penthouse floor. He led me to a door marked City Suite, and I stepped through as he held the door for me.
Polished marble floors led me to floor-to-ceiling windows, overlooking the sparkling city below. I stared at the glimmering lights as Landon uncorked a bottle of red wine, pouring two glasses and bringing me one. We stood side by side, watching the city. It was surreal, to be so far from home and yet still with him, right now.
He flew here for me.
Something about that had softened the walls I’d put up. A soft touch, few whispered words, and I knew they’d crumble all over again.
I sipped at the wine as he led me through the living room, anticipation building like a rising tide.
I expected him to lead me to the bed, but he didn’t. He paused, taking off his cufflinks, slipping off his jacket and draping it over the back of a chair. And then we walked through another doorway.
The bathroom was just as big as the bedroom, with a jetted, double-sized tub sitting under a big picture window. We were on the highest floor of the tallest building in downtown, so there were no window coverings to block out the stars and the mo
on. He took my wine glass, setting it down on the edge of the tub.
He leaned forward, as if he planned to touch me, but instead of slipping his hand around my back, he turned the faucet handle just behind me.
Water poured out, the sound echoing in the cavernous space.
He took my face in his hands, let’s his thumb stroke back and forth along my jaw line as he tipped my head back, claiming my mouth with a kiss.
It was soft and deep all at once, his tongue tracing across my mouth, begging my lips to part. I obliged, letting him slip his tongue inside my mouth as he tangled his fingers in my hair.
The sound of running water faded as I stepped closer, my hands sliding up his back, wrapping around his shoulders. One of his hands was still buried in my hair as the other found its way to the buttons on my shirt, and one-by-one they popped free, exposing my purple-lace bra. He slid my shirt over my shoulders, and it dropped to the floor.
He gently tugged my hair, tipping my head back further so that he could kiss his way from one collarbone to the other, so that he could access the hollow of my neck, nibbling on my ear as my breathing turned rapid.
And then he stepped away, turning the water off. His gaze raked over my body, as if memorizing my curves, memorizing the way I looked standing in this posh bathroom at the top of a sky scraper, half-naked, breathing hard, totally wet and ready for him.
He didn’t break eye contact as he reached over, unzipping my pants, pushing them down over my ass so that they pooled at my feet. Now I was bare, yet he was still dressed.
He led me to the bath, and I obliged, stepping over the lip of the tub and into the steaming water.
I sat on the edge, my legs draped into the water. He stared, but I didn’t move, and then his lips curled. “You’re supposed to get in.”
“So are you,” I said. His grin widened, and his hands moved to the buttons of his shirt, until it was discarded on the floor near my clothes. He kicked off his socks and shoes, and then shoved his pants and boxers down in one push, his hard cock breaking free.
He slipped into the tub, pulling me down into the water. It was large enough for us to sit side by side, leaning back against the gentle slope of the tub, but he didn’t want it that way. Instead, he pulled me onto his lap, my back resting against his chest, so that I was sitting on his cock, but not letting it slip inside me.
