I press the heels of my hands to my eyes and rub vigorously. Maybe this is a dream. Everything is so confusing. The things she’s saying don’t match the synapses firing in my brain. Something’s off. Something’s wrong. Really wrong.
“What do I do now?”
“You won’t be safe in the US for a while. We’ve set you up with a place just outside of Rio de Janeiro. You can heal and rest there. Then I’ll be in touch when we have a job for you.”
“A job?”
She’s silent a moment. “The second chance doesn’t come without cost.”
Jay’s laser focus from across the table makes me uncomfortable, like she can see all the things that won’t come into view for me right now.
“What do you need me to do?”
“You’ll take assignments that only someone entirely off the grid can take. You’ll need to take every precaution to keep yourself safe after a hit. We won’t be there to support you unless we absolutely need another agent involved. You’ll receive all the pertinent information, and then you’ll be compensated when the work is done. No paperwork. No red tape.”
My mouth is dry. I think it’s the pain medication that’s making all this feel so surreal and out of reach. I take a drink from the water glass in front of me.
“Listen, I just want to go home.”
Jay leans in. Her eyes are cold, like deep ocean water.
“Where’s home, Tristan?”
I jerk awake. Isabel is asleep beside me. Peaceful. Damn near angelic in the wake of the nightmare. A mix of relief and gut-wrenching fear washes over me. Fear that I’ll fail her—both of us—if I can’t keep her safe. I rise gingerly from the bed so as not to rouse her and go to my bag. I pull out my laptop, sit at the desk, and open the protected chat. Jay’s unanswered messages stare back at me.
I’m a grown man. I’ve killed more men than I can count, but somehow I can hardly bring myself to acknowledge or challenge her. We both know what’s gone down. Soon enough she’ll know even more, once someone discovers Crow and gets him out of the impossible bind I left him in.
The cursor blinks, taunting me. With no one to report back, she could believe I’m dead, but she’s too smart for that.
I begin typing.
RED: You’ll have to do better than that.
A few minutes pass with no reply. I look out the window. Early dawn is approaching. We’ll have to leave soon, before the streets come back to life. The sound of a return message draws my attention back to the screen.
JAY: You’re making a mistake.
I grimace, as pissed off as ever. Three years of clean, quiet, anonymous hits, and now I’m her mark.
RED: So are you.
JAY: Bring her in and we can talk.
She knows as well as I do that will never happen. Either some part of her wants to salvage the relationship, or Isabel’s death is more of a priority than I realized. My money is on the latter.
I hear a rustle outside the window. I grab my gun and steal a glance at Isabel, oblivious in her slumber.
There’s a soft rap at the door. “Isabel.”
I rise at the muffled sound of the priest’s voice. I open the door a crack to find him standing there with a cloth-covered basket. He lifts it. “Breakfast for you.”
I reach out and take it, noting the unease and exhaustion on the old man’s features.
I’m ready to close the door, when he lifts his hand, stopping me. “I was awake all night watching the street. The same black truck passes back and forth every hour or so.” His lips press together in a worried line. “It doesn’t feel right to me.”
I poke my head around the door. The street is quiet. “When’s the last time you saw the car?”
“Twenty minutes.”
“Did they see you?”
He shrugs. “Not many people notice an old man like me.”
“We’ll leave soon. Thanks for this.”
He nods and waves a silent farewell. After ensuring Isabel is still sleeping, I slip outside.
I take my phone out and hesitate over Mateus’s number before dialing. It rings only once.
“Tristan. Is she okay?”
“We’re fine. For now.”
“What’s happened?”
I hesitate over my next words. “Do you remember what you said about letting things go…to get what you really want?”
He’s quiet for a moment. “You’re sending her home.”
“I’ll get her out of Petrópolis, but I’m running out of time. They’re closing in.” I hesitate. “Can you help me get her out of Brazil?”
“I’ll do anything you ask of me, Tristan. That’s not the question.”
“What’s the damn question, Mateus? Help me or don’t.”
“The question is whether you trust me to.”
ISABEL
Tristan’s memory might be lost, but I swear I can still see vengeance haunting his eyes where I used to see his joy. He woke me this morning quickly and quietly. Danger wasn’t on our heels, but we’re on the move. To where, he won’t say. I pick at the moist bread Antonio brought to us as we drive from one town to the next.
“Are you upset with me?”
His brows knit firmly together. “Why would I be upset with you?”
“I don’t know. Last night happened. Guys can be weird after that.”
“Guys?” He shoots me a narrow look.
I huff out a sigh. “Never mind.”
Silence stretches between us for a long time before he finally speaks again.
“I enjoyed last night. Doesn’t change the fact that today is a new day, we’re in danger, and I needed to get you out of there. Your friendly neighborhood priest was on the lookout all night. Jay’s people weren’t far.”
“Who’s Jay?”
“Former employer,” he says flatly.
I lean forward, my jaw slack. “Are you kidding me? You work for the monsters who are trying to kill us?”
The muscle in his jaw ticks. “I’m a contractor. We’re having a disagreement about the terms of our arrangement.”
I stare in stunned disbelief. Then…suddenly…it all makes sense. The blocks of cash. The guns and willingness to use them to any end. Tristan’s near-complete disregard for human life. I push his tender moments out of the picture because they cloud the view. And it’s all coming into focus.
Your comrades.
Someone wants you dead.
I know the price on her head. What’s mine?
A rush of enlightenment crashes over me as we make a turn down a narrow, paved road. It’s leading us toward an open field and tarmac. There are a few small planes and a helicopter parked around an old hangar. A larger, sleeker jet sits at the center of the tarmac, its boarding door open with stairs leading up to it. A young man is pacing beside it, stopping as Tristan parks.
“Come on,” he says.
I get out of the car as he pops the trunk. “Where are we going?”
“Not we. You.”
The man comes our way, extending his hand to Tristan. “You must be Mateus’s friend. I’m Leo, your pilot.” He nods to me. “Senhorita.”
Tristan shakes his hand before grabbing my backpack and slamming the trunk shut.
“Leo’s going to fly you to Panama.”
“Panama?” My eyes widen.
“They’ll be expecting you to try to get a flight out of Rio or São Paulo. They’ll pluck you from security or God knows what else. It’s too risky.”
“Okay.” I try to will my voice not to shake.
“You’ll be able to get to Panama City in the jet without refueling. Leo will take care of customs. But this is important. As soon as you get there, you’re going to buy a ticket to DC. No stops. And use cash in case they’re tracking your cards. I can’t risk you getting on their radar before you’re in the air. Understand?”
My breathing ticks up rapidly. This is too much too fast. I can’t think anything through. All I can do is trust Tristan, and he’s scaring the hell o
ut of me with this plan. I don’t even like flying.
“What about you? I can’t just leave you here.”
“I can’t protect you here. It’ll be easier for you to get back home without me. They’re going to be expecting both of us.”
“I’m not leaving without you. I don’t care what you say.” I cross my arms and prepare to hold my ground. I can’t leave him… I can’t let him go again.
Leo’s eyes widen a fraction. “Let me know when you’re ready. I’ll wait for you.”
“She’s ready,” Tristan answers for me. He hands the man my backpack.
I try to grab it back, but Leo is already moving toward the plane and out of earshot. My nostrils flare. “Enough of this shit, Tristan. You need to give me answers. I’ve waited long enough.”
“I told you. The less you know, the better.”
“You mean I shouldn’t know what kind of man you are?”
Tristan’s jaw is tight. “What kind of man am I, Isabel?”
I hold his steady stare, uncertain if I’m actually ready for the truth. “Tell me why you came for me that day.”
He steps closer, dominating my personal space. That quickly, I’m caught in a tornado of our intense sexual attraction and the inherent fear Tristan inspires at moments like these.
“You want to know the truth?” His voice is dangerously low.
Lust pulses through me at the most inopportune time. Maybe if I kiss him, he won’t have to tell me what I fear to be true. I fist my hand in his shirt. It steadies me on shaky legs and binds him to me in some small way, regardless of what he’s about to say.
He touches my chin, guiding all my attention to the silvery sky reflecting in his eyes.
“Three years ago, the Tristan you knew died. Now I take jobs that only a dead man can take. Back in Rio, I was sent to kill you. I would have been paid handsomely for it. I was ready to pull the trigger, until you said my name.”
“On the street?”
He shakes his head. “I was in your apartment after you turned away Kolt. You were in bed taking care of things he badly wanted to. I was so close to going through with it, but something held me back. Then you said my name, and… I just couldn’t do it.” He brings his hand to my face, drawing his thumb across my cheek tenderly. “Because I didn’t, there’s a bounty on both our heads. And if you don’t get on that plane right now, they’re going to finish the job I wouldn’t.”
The tears I’ve been holding back spill over. Hot, thick tears that threaten a torrent of sobs to follow. This can’t be real. This can’t be happening.
“You need to go now.” He pulls away, steps away, looks away.
I tighten my fist in his shirt, but he’s unclenching my grip. Putting distance between us. I fight him, but I know it’s useless.
He tried to kill me.
He kept me alive.
He tied me to the goddamn bed.
He killed a man who would have killed me first if given the chance.
He’s not my Tristan anymore.
He’s a shadow.
He’s indelibly imprinted on me.
In my blurred periphery, I see Leo coming closer. Time is running out. I need more time with Tristan to figure all this out.
“When will I see you again?”
He glances to Leo and back to me. “There will be someone to meet you at Dulles. An old acquaintance.”
“How will I know him?”
“Trust me, you’ll be able to spot him in a crowd. He’ll take you to your father as soon as it’s safe.”
“No.” I can’t hide the agony wrapped around that one word.
His hardened expression softens.
“Go… Please, Isabel. Just go.”
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More Information on The Red Ledger
The Hacker Series
Hardwired
Hardpressed
Hardline
Hard Limit
Hard Love
The Bridge Series
On My Knees
Into The Fire
Over the Edge
About the Author
Meredith Wild is a #1 New York Times, USA Today, and international bestselling author. After publishing her debut novel Hardwired in September 2013, Wild used her ten years of experience as a tech entrepreneur to push the boundaries of her “self-published” status, becoming stocked in brick-and-mortar bookstore chains nationwide and forging relationships with the major retailers. In 2014, Wild founded her own imprint, Waterhouse Press, under which she hit No. 1 on the New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers lists. She has been featured on CBS This Morning, The Today Show, the New York Times, The Hollywood Reporter, Publishers Weekly, and The Examiner. Her foreign rights have been sold in over 22 languages.
For more information, please follow Meredith Wild at:
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