by Fredrick, MJ
“Did I hurt you?” he panted, managing to stop himself.
She shook her head frantically and tightened her legs about his hips, her heels digging into his ass, and he evened out his strokes, longer, deeper, slower.
“Quinn!” His name was a growl of frustration and when he looked at her, her brow was furrowed.
He smoothed her hair back from her face. “What?”
“More.”
A grin canted his mouth. “More?”
She rolled her hips against him. “More.”
“I can do that.”
He drove into her harder, faster, pulling her against him, his body slick with sweat, hers too as she strove to meet him, as she wrapped herself around him, as she threw her head back and came with a cry that rattled the glasses on the shelves. And as she shuddered beneath him, he came, too, everything in him unfurling, wrapping around her, binding them together. He drew her closer as he pulsed inside her, feeling her heartbeat in rhythm with his.
“Come to my place and spend the night,” he said against her ear, just before he levered himself off her. Yeah, no cuddling possible here. Maybe if they’d tried the pool table…
“Quinn, you don’t have to—”
He touched her lips. “I want to wake up with you.”
“You go to church.”
“You can come with me.” He hopped to the floor and picked up his jeans.
She laughed. “Seriously?” She sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees, and until the day he died, he would never ever forget the picture she made, sitting there naked, her hair falling forward, her image reflected in the mirror behind the bottles on the wall. “There is something very wrong about talking about going to church with a man while sitting naked on his bar.”
“Sweetheart, you sit like that for me, and you can talk to me about anything you want.” He leaned in and kissed her.
“About this winter festival,” she teased.
“Even that,” he said.
Her eyes turned somber and she stroked the back of his neck. “Take down the ‘for sale’ sign.”
He drew back. He’d thought he was ready to stay. He did. He never would have taken her to bed otherwise. But taking down the sign that had been up for over a year—that meant he was staying. Forever. And he hadn’t quite wrapped his head around that possibility, the complete future with Bluestone and Lily.
He broke away from her touch and reached for his shirt from the middle of the poker table. “I’ll think about it,” was all he could promise.
***
Something tickled Quinn’s nose and when he tried to rub at it, his right arm wouldn’t move. He rubbed with his left and opened his eyes to see Lily sleeping beside him, her hair spread over his chest and throat, her head on his right arm.
Which was why he couldn’t feel it. He shifted, just a bit, hoping to create enough of a dip that he could slide his arm free without disturbing her, but her eyes opened and she smiled sleepily. Christ, just as he’d imagined, and he got hard, just like that. Morning breath be damned, he kissed her, sliding his hand down her naked back to cup her ass. An approving sound low in her throat encouraged him to roll her onto her back—not too graceful with one arm tingling painfully—but he managed to repeat the caress down her front to slide between her legs.
Gorgeous Lily, in his bed, opening to him, growing wet, wrapping her arms around him to kiss his throat, his shoulder, his chest, her hands curving around his arms. He wanted to enter her now, but she wasn’t ready. He lowered his head to her breast and closed his teeth around her nipple, and her body squeezed around his fingers. He licked and pulled, but she tugged his head away, back up her body, and turned her head, offering her throat. When he rubbed his lips along the graceful line, she squeezed around him again. He pressed his fingers deeper, continued the caress on her tender skin, and she grabbed his wrist.
“Inside me, Quinn.”
His three favorite words. He scrambled for a condom and she rolled him onto his back, rising over him, her hair glowing in the morning light streaming through the window. He couldn’t quite catch his breath as she took the condom, sheathed him, and took him inside her.
As he arched toward her, making her moan, he bit back the three words he wanted to say more than anything. Instead, he sat up, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her, swallowing the words.
For the first time in his life, he was late for church.
***
“Quinn. Are you smiling?” Leo’s tone was accusing as they sat at a table near the flat screen TV.
Quinn glanced at his friend, barely stopping himself from sending a rude signal in front of Leo’s son, Max.
Beside Leo, Trinity paled. “Oh, you didn’t.”
“Didn’t what?” Leo asked.
Quinn felt his face heat under her inspection.
“You did! What were you thinking? You’re going to break her heart when you leave.”
“What are you talking about?” Leo asked his wife.
She gave a pointed look to Max then turned back to her husband. “Why do you smile in the morning?”
Leo’s eyes widened and he looked back at Quinn. “Who? Lily?”
Quinn felt his flush deepen and couldn’t meet his friend’s gaze. Instead he rubbed his thumb over a spot on the bar where the lacquer had bubbled.
“Man, this is great!” Leo said.
Quinn looked up sharply. “What?”
“What?” Trinity echoed.
“This is great. You’ve loved her forever. This means you’ll stay.”
Trinity’s expression was more shrewd. “It doesn’t mean that. It means when he does sell this place and go, she’ll be devastated.”
Leo snorted. “Lily could never be devastated. And you thought I would leave, and you sl—dated me anyway,” he added with a sidelong glance at his son. He pressed a hand to her belly. “And now look at us.”
“Can you see Quinn as a daddy?”
“Hey, I’m right here,” Quinn protested.
“Can you see yourself as a daddy?” Trinity asked.
He held out his hands. “We are not even close to there yet.”
“I just don’t—” Trinity began, but Leo held his hand up.
“It’s not our business. People didn’t think we were a good idea. They thought I’d hurt you. We wanted them to leave us alone, so we’re going to leave Quinn and Lily alone and let them figure it out for themselves.”
***
Lily was tired when she came in from her fourth tour after a night of virtually no sleep. But Quinn waited on the dock with two Stryofoam containers. She smiled as she passed him to go into the office, where she had some paperwork to finish. He followed silently, walked behind the counter and got two bottled waters from the refrigerator she kept there.
“You better not have brought me salad,” she said.
“Carbs. Got to keep your energy up. Though there may be some green vegetables in here, too.” He opened up the containers and placed one in front of her, then pulled up a stool and sat across from her with his own dinner.
“You’re the best.” But no matter how good the chicken and home fries smelled, she didn’t dig in, instead opened up her bottle of water, flipped through her paperwork and made some notations.
“Trinity and Leo know about us.”
She looked up, eyes wide. Trinity would be pissed that Lily hadn’t told her. “How did that happen?”
“Apparently I was smiling.”
That surprised a laugh out of her. “How dare you?”
He fiddled with the label of his bottled water. “She thinks I’m bad for you.”
Did he want assurance from her? She wasn’t entirely sure that Trinity was wrong, but damn, she’d been happy all day today. Everything felt lighter when she thought of Quinn. “Trinity’s a worrier.”
“I thought that was your job.”
Lily laughed. “Nope. I’m the one with the ideas. She’s the one who tells me to slow down.”
/> “Which is what I suppose she’s doing here. I thought women who got married always wanted all their friends to get married.”
She slanted him a look. “Are you asking?”
His face turned an adorable shade of red. “We’re just getting started here.”
She waved a hand to dispel his panic. “Don’t worry about Trinity. She’s used to looking at the dark side. I have to remind her sometimes that her mother does the same thing and she’ll snap out of it.”
“Ouch.”
“Yep.” She closed the book and sat across from him, wrinkling her nose at his steamed vegetables before spearing a fry from her own plate.
“So this was going to be a picnic on my boat, but it looked like you had enough of the water today.”
“Mm. All I want is a shower, a warm fire, and to put my feet up.”
He closed his container and stood. “I can make that happen.”
***
How many times had Lily imagined stretching out on her couch with Quinn in front of the fire? Usually in her imagination she hadn’t been in sweats and fuzzy socks, but he didn’t seem to mind as he played with her hair and watched the recording of game three of the World Series on her tiny, underused TV. He smelled so good, the scent of him blending with the scent of the wood smoke, and she burrowed deeper beneath his arm.
“Stay,” she murmured. Just before she drifted off, she heard him say, “You couldn’t drag me away.”
***
The next few weeks continued like that, some nights at his house, some at hers. The entire town knew, but it didn’t bother Lily. That was life in a small town. Trinity didn’t talk to her about it, which surprised her. She and Trinity talked about everything. But as Trinity’s due date approached, she drew more and more inside herself. Lily realized with a start that Trinity must be thinking of the child she’d given up for adoption, and was mourning that loss even as she started a new life.
Lily didn’t know how to begin to talk about that.
She and Beth had considered giving Trinity a surprise baby shower but Trinity was too much of a control freak for that, so Monday after school, Lily went by Trinity’s cute little bungalow to discuss the plans. Maddox had already said they could use the lake house, which was beautiful any time of the year, and plenty warm, even against the early cold fronts.
Trinity opened the door with a smile, but it was clear she’d been crying. Lily pushed the door closed and took her friend in her arms. Trinity hiccupped bravely before bursting into tears.
“Sweetheart, what is it?” Lily pulled back to look at her friend, then glanced around. “Is Max here?”
“He’s at hockey practice with Leo.”
“Are you feeling okay? Are you hurting?” She rested her hand on Trinity’s round belly.
“I’m just sad.” Trinity dropped onto the leather sofa overlooking the back yard and yanked a tissue from the box on the coffee table. “I should be ecstatic and anticipating this baby, but I can’t get past the, well, the past.”
“Oh, honey.” Lily had suspected Trinity was blue, but had no idea how to make her friend feel better. “I don’t even know what to say.” She couldn’t imagine the choice Trinity had had to face, deciding what was the best life for her child. On top of that, Trinity had told Lily that her parents had been devastated. Lily’s parents had always been so supportive, so the judgement Trinity had faced was even more alien.
“Leo is so frustrated. He’s out of his mind happy and I just can’t be. It’s the worst feeling in the world.” She ended the sentence on a squeak as she tried to swallow a sob.
Lily sat on the edge of the cushion beside her and rubbed between her friend’s shoulders, feeling the tension there, the shudders as Trinity held back more tears. “Don’t you think maybe your hormones are going crazy? I mean, I don’t know what you’re going through, but circumstances are so different. You were a different person then. You made the right choice for that baby. This time you have more resources to give to this one, a father, a brother, a home.”
“I know all that,” Trinity said, waving her hand. “I know it in my head. My heart just can’t seem to wrap around it. God, I hate feeling guilty all the time.”
“But why feel guilty? The people who took your baby girl wanted her more than they wanted anything in the world. They gave her a good home. You know that for a fact. She’s happy and healthy and loved. Your problem was the answer to someone’s prayers. Now this baby is your reward, your chance to experience parenthood in the best way possible, with a man who’s excited to be a daddy, a boy who’s excited to be a brother, parents who are, well—”
Trinity choked out a rough laugh at that. Her parents still hadn’t gotten over the fact that she’d been pregnant before she married.
“Parents who will come around,” Lily said. “And the best godparents money can buy.”
Her attempt to make light earned a wan smile from Trinity. “I’m sorry to be so maudlin. I’ll try to be better.”
“No, it’s a valid problem. I mean, of course you’re going to be thinking about your other child. But think about this—when this child is older, aren’t you going to regret that you didn’t enjoy every minute with him?”
“You’re so smart,” Trinity said, twisting to hug her friend, resting her head on Lily’s shoulder for a minute. “And I’ll do better to remember those words. Now. What did you come here to see me about?”
They talked about the shower plans for a few minutes longer than Lily had initially intended, but she wanted to make sure her friend was doing all right before she left the house.
On the short drive to the bar and grill, she imagined herself pregnant. When she reached the bar, she walked into Quinn’s with a smile on her face.
“What are you so happy about?”
“Seeing you, of course.” She took her usual spot at the end of the bar. “You are going to Trinity’s baby shower this weekend, right?”
He made a face. “Not really something I wanted to do.”
“It’s a co-ed baby shower.”
“Is that somehow supposed to make it better?”
She stuck her tongue out at him and took the glass of pop he offered. “For me, it will. Come on, Leo’s your best friend. Don’t leave him hanging around with a bunch of women.”
“I’m not that good of a friend,” he said with a smile, and walked to the other end of the bar.
***
But he was. He sat by the gas fire pit on the deck with the men a few days later, drinking coffee. Through the glass door he watched Lily, who protested being able to do girly stuff, doing just fine with the girly stuff. She and Beth had decorated the table and the counter with blue tablecloths, and had a spread of food that would appeal to both genders—wings and meatballs and finger sandwiches and chips and veggies. They’d constructed tiered cupcakes to resemble a cake, and there were pictures of stuffed animals, and real stuffed animals, everywhere. Trinity looked gorgeous and happy in the big middle of it all, and Quinn couldn’t help sneak a glance at his friend as he watched the woman he loved with pride written all over his face.
What would that feel like, that permanence, that depth of connection, knowing the woman you loved was having your child? He hadn’t even managed to tell Lily he loved her, hadn’t even done as she asked those weeks ago, hadn’t taken down the for sale sign. What kind of asshole was he that he kept sleeping with the woman he loved but couldn’t make a commitment to her?
Just then she looked up from serving spiced cider to Joan and smiled at him through the window. Maybe it was time to take down the sign, tell her he loved her, put a ring on her finger.
Maddox nudged him. “I know that look.”
“What look?” Quinn asked.
“The one where you’re scared shitless because if you don’t do something, she could walk away, and if you do something, well, hell, your life will change.” Maddox gave him a look. “Your life could use some changing.”
“Doesn’t last, though,
this feeling,” Quinn said. “In my family, the only one happily married is the one who’s been married less than ten years. The rest of them don’t even talk to each other.”
“Well, that’s a choice. My folks have been married almost forty years. When I was young, I remember them flirting and teasing. It was embarrassing when I was a teenager, but I understand it a lot more now. Getting Beth to go along with it is something else, though. You know she had a bad enough example.” The singer rested his forearms on his knees as he cradled his mug between his hands. “I thought the two of you had something when I first got here, but that would have just been a mistake, wouldn’t it? You’d never talk to each other.”
Quinn snorted.
“Lily is the one who’s perfect for you. And the one who’s perfect for you will save your life, man. Trust me. I know.”
***
That night Lily sat on his lap with her long legs folded over his, wearing his shirt and nothing else as he kissed her throat.
“I have a surprise for you,” she said, angling her head to encourage him.
“I like surprises.” He slid his hands up her bare thighs to her naked ass.
“I’ve been on the pill long enough. We don’t have to use a condom anymore.”
He drew back to look at her. He hadn’t known she was on the pill. That implied some sense of permanence, didn’t it? Yet he couldn’t be too scared by the implication when it meant he could be bare inside her. Just the idea had his breath hitching, and he tumbled her onto her back.
“You’re sure?”
Her eyes clouded a moment and she frowned. “I’m not trying to trick you, Quinn.”
“That’s not—I’ve never had sex without a condom.”
Her face softened and she reached up to caress his cheek. “You have no idea how happy that makes me.” And with a shift of her body, she brought him into her.
He let himself be swallowed by the sensations for a moment, the heat, the slickness, and felt like a virgin all over again, fighting for control of his body before he began to move. He couldn’t believe how incredible it felt, skin on skin, delicious friction, her body clasping, so slick and tight. He shifted and looked into her eyes, saw her smiling.
