by Nancy Adams
I went back to Katelynn and sat down again, pulling her close.
“Are there a lot of those around here?” she asked. “How can we hope to get any rest, if we have to watch out for animals sneaking up on us?”
“That old boy was just curious, I think. Cougars don't usually attack humans, unless they're starving or trapped. If you don't force them to fight, or show any fear, they usually go on by, like that one. If he's around here, this is probably his territory, and we shouldn't see him or any others from now on. He'll avoid us just as much as we want to avoid him.”
She shivered. “It's weird,” she said. “This is all so beautiful, but so incredibly dangerous, too. What other animals do you think we have to worry about?”
I thought about it. “Well, there will be deer and moose around, I'm sure, and elk. All of them can be dangerous, if you catch them in the wrong mood, or make them feel trapped. There are probably coyotes and wolves, but they're not likely to want to bother us. Smaller animals, like rabbits and such, and things like wolverines. They'll avoid us, too, if they can, but if we run up on one, I'll almost certainly have to kill it. They don't back down, once they feel challenged, and they'll follow you for miles looking for a chance to attack. There are snakes, and particularly rattlesnakes, but it's cool enough we probably won't see any at night unless they sense our body heat and try to snuggle up to us. I'm hoping to keep them out with a ring of ashes, I've heard that Indians used to do that. All in all, though, I think we can bed down safely enough. Are you getting tired?”
She looked at me, and I saw a hesitation before she shook her head. “Not yet. I just like sitting here, watching the fire. Being with you.”
I had a feeling I knew what was bothering her; this would be the first time we would sleep in the same place, and we both had problems with our desires, at times. I thought about trying to reassure her that I'd be a gentleman, but she knew that; it actually wasn't me she was worried about, it was herself. With the shock of the crash, the deaths of the crew, the long walk and the fear and everything else, Katelynn wanted to be held, wanted to be cuddled, and she was afraid that it would get out of hand if we did.
In all truth, it probably could. I didn't think of her as my girlfriend or my fiance; she was my soul mate, and that realization had only made me want her more. It was only the promises we'd made to ourselves and to God that had kept us from letting things go too far more than once. If we were to suddenly find our willpower weak when the desire hit strongly, it could happen, and I'm not sure how she'd handle it afterward.
I was sure these same thoughts were going through her mind, as well, but I didn't have a clue what to say to her to calm her concerns. Maybe I should just tell her that I’d sleep outside, and let her have the shelter, but I knew that wouldn't work. She'd need to feel me close, even if we didn't want it to be too close…
“Nathanael,” she said softly, startling me from my thoughts. “Do you truly love me?”
I turned to face her. “Baby, of course I do! Why would you ask that?”
She shivered again, and then started to say something, but nothing came out. She tried again, and said, “Because I love you. I want to be your wife, and we're in this terrible situation, and we don't know if we're even going to survive it. If the search parties don't know where we went down, or if they take too long and we run into a bear or something—I don't want to die without being your wife, Nathanael.”
I smiled at her in the firelight. “I'm not going to let that happen, Baby. I'll get us through this, I promise you.”
She smiled back, but it was sort of weak. “I know you'll try, Babe, but you’re only human, even if I do think you're a superman. We could run into rattlesnakes, bears, angry mooses or whatever they're called, and get killed, or maybe we just never get found and die here when it gets too cold. A thousand things could happen, and I don't want to risk not being completely and totally yours, with you in every possible way.”
I didn't know what to say. I wanted her just as badly, but I'd sworn to honor her desire to wait until marriage, and I didn't want to have a blissful night, only to be followed by a morning full of regrets. Katelynn meant everything to me, and I didn't ever want her to have any regrets about us, none at all.
“Babe,” I said, “we don't want to do anything we might be sorry for in the morn...”
“I know,” she answered me, and smiled. “I—I read this book once, about this couple who were shipwrecked. Like us, they were engaged, but they didn't think they'd ever be rescued, so they talked it over and decided to say their own marriage vows, right there on the island, before God. He'd honor those vows, wouldn't he? I mean, surely there have been lots of times when a couple wanted to be married, but there wasn't anyone around to do it, right?”
I looked at her, and understood what she was saying, but even more than that, I understood what she was feeling. I was also concerned; while I was confident of my abilities in the wilds, there were a lot of factors that could affect our chances of survival.
On the other hand, could I let her go where she seemed to be wanting to go? If we were to make our vows in this primitive setting, with no witnesses other than God above, and consummate our marriage here in the forest, in a shelter made of pine boughs and on a bed of the same material, would she regret it later? Would it cause us troubles when our “official” wedding night came?
“Baby,” I said softly, “is this what you truly want?”
She smiled at me, and the firelight reflected off the tears that were starting to leak from her eyes.
“I want to be yours,” she said simply, “and I want you to be mine. I believe that God would honor our vows here and now, vows made in sincerity from our hearts. I don't believe that would be the same as not waiting, do you?”
I pulled her close and kissed her softly, but it became quite passionate almost instantly. When we broke for breath, I pulled back and looked at her.
“Katelynn Burke,” I said, “Here and now, in the sight of God, I do hereby take you to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, forsaking all others and cleaving unto you only, for as long as we both shall live.”
Katelynn's tears spilled over and began to pour down her face. “Oh, Nathanael Simmons,” she said between sobs of pure happiness. “In the sight of God, I do hereby take you to be my lawfully wedded husband. I will cling to you and be faithful to you and love you and honor you and respect you and obey you, for as long as we both shall live!”
I kissed my bride, and then stood. I scooped her up into my arms, and carried her into the shelter that would be our home for our wedding night. On a bed made of piled pine boughs and blankets, I finally made love to my wife, the woman I had dreamed of even before I knew her.
Jim
Chapter Six
Flyover Country
* * * * *
Leo MacEntyre was a tall, thin man, one who didn't waste time or words. He put the plane down and taxied it to where I was told to wait for him, and didn't even shut down the engine as I climbed up on the lower wing and into the front cockpit. He passed me a flight cap and goggles, and then a set of headphones with a mike attached. I put them all on, and heard his voice come through loud and clear.
“Mr. Burke, I'm Leo. I talked to the CAP Colonel who's running the search, and got the last known coordinates for the jet, so we're gonna be going about forty minutes before we can start looking.”
I nodded emphatically. “I got it, and the name is Jim. Anything is better than just sitting there waiting, I really appreciate this.”
Leo laughed. “Yeah, I know. But you ain't got my bill, yet!”
I smiled. “Bring it on,” I said as he taxied us out to the runway. He didn't even stop when he got there, just turned into the wind and poured on the power, and I was glad the headphones were the newer noise-canceling models.
We flew west for about the forty minutes he'd predicted, then he turned southwest a bit and dropped to just above the treetops.
I looked all around, as hard as I could, but saw nothing but trees and the occasional stream or clearing. There was no one visible anywhere, and no sign of the jet's wreckage.
It had been nearly four when we'd taken off, and by the time we were low enough on fuel to need to head back, it was nearly seven or later. The sun was getting very low in the sky, and Leo pointed out that it would too dark to hope to see anything before long, so we turned back to the east and began the flight to Denver.
As we began to ascend, I thought I caught something out of the corner of my eye, and turned to look, but whatever it was had disappeared. Leo said he'd pick me up at seven AM, so we could get back out and search again, and I resigned myself to telling my wife that we still knew nothing.
I climbed out of the airplane, and went inside to find Rebecca with Colonel Mason. “Any news?” I asked.
The Colonel shook his head. “I'm afraid not, Sir, and now it's looking like we may have another problem. When the pilot's Mayday was heard, we got a fix on his position, but there was a United flight not far away who also heard it, and the pilot says he saw the Lear veering off to the north a little. We're guessing the pilot was trying to get into a glide path that would help him keep his airspeed up while letting him dodge between mountaintops, but if he was fighting for control, he might not have had a chance to give us a new position before he went down. If he went into trees, he'd lose his antenna first thing, and there'd be no way for him to radio out.”
I sat down in one of the chairs that were near the wall. “What about their cell phones? Wouldn't they be able to call out?”
“I'm afraid there is still a lot of the Rockies that won't have cell service,” he said. “More than thirty or forty miles out from a main road or a town, and you wouldn't get a signal in those mountains.”
I nodded. That made sense, even if I hated it. “What about the GPS in the phones? Wouldn't that be a way to find them?”
The Colonel tilted his head and grimaced. “If they turn their phones on, or try to call 911, it's barely possible that a cell tower somewhere could recognize enough of the transmission to get a reading on their general position, but I'm afraid it isn't likely. And the GPS software in phones is for receiving a signal, not transmitting one. They probably won't be any help, I'm afraid.”
I ran a hand over my face, then looked up at my wife. She was standing there, taking it all in, and being stronger than I could imagine being in her position.
“We'll find her, Jim,” she said. “Nathanael will take care of her, and we'll find them both safe and sound. I've been praying about it, and I know that God will answer that prayer.”
I nodded. “He will,” I said. “He has to.” I didn't know if I was agreeing about God or Nate, but either way, I had to put my trust in the both of them. There was nowhere else to put it.
“Come on, Honey. Let's go get some dinner and find a room.” I let her take my hand and pull me up from the chair, but the Colonel spoke before we could walk away.
“Mr. Burke, we have a courtesy room here at the airport for you. It's very nice, and a lot less expensive than any of the hotels nearby. May I show it to you?”
We nodded, and I grabbed our bags that were still sitting where we'd left them earlier. The Colonel led us down a hallway and to a door that he opened with a key-card that he then handed to me. We stepped inside, and I was surprised to see a room that was easily as nice as anything I'd found in a five star hotel. I turned to thank him.
“It's our pleasure. We can work out the billing tomorrow, I know you're tired and worried, right now.” He pointed down the hall to another set of doors at the far end. “If you go through there, you'll find some restaurants. I'll be heading home shortly, but I'll be back here at six-thirty in the morning.” He shook my hand again, and was gone.
We set our bags in the room and went to find dinner, sitting down at the first place we found that didn't look like a fast food joint. A young woman took our drink orders as we looked over the menu, then took our food orders when she came back. We handed her our menus and sat there, looking at each other.
“You're right, you know,” I said. “Between God and Nate, she couldn't be in better hands.”
“Unless god has decided it's their time to go,” Rebecca said sadly. “Jim, how could I live without Katelynn's bright, beautiful face? That would be so unfair...”
“Stop that,” I said, not unkindly. “We have to remain positive. If they're hurt, we have to be able to encourage them when they're found, and if it's worse than that, then we have each other and we have our faith. We'll get through whatever we have to, Rebecca, and we'll do it together.”
She stared at me for a long moment, but at last she nodded her head. “I know you’re right, Jim,” she said with a tear in her eye, “but that doesn't make dealing with the possibility right now any easier. It seems like just a couple of days ago that she was running through the house in shorts and a t-shirt, screaming about how gross boys were. I can remember the first time she asked me if she could wear a dress to school, instead of jeans, because there was a boy there she wanted to get noticed by. She's still just that little girl, in my heart. She's still the tomboy, the mischief maker, she's still my baby girl...”
The tears came freely, then, and I reached across the tale to hold her hand. As I did so, I wondered when it was that we had stopped sitting side-by-side in places like that one, and moved to slide into the seat beside my wife. She leaned her head onto my shoulder and wept, and I wept silently with her.
I remembered those times, too. Katelynn came to my study one day when she was only nine years old, planted her feet and crossed her arms before she looked at me and said, “I've been thinking this over, and I think it's time you get me a dog. Every kid I know has one, so you're failing me as a parent by not letting me have the fun and comfort of a dog to play with.”
I stopped whatever it had been that I was doing, and turned to stare at her. I'd known she was intelligent, but the severity of her argument was far more mature than I could possibly have expected from her, and so I was torn between getting ticked off, or laughing uproariously.
“This could be true,” I said in my best courtroom voice. “However, if you will look at statistics, I believe you'll find that less than fifty percent of children have dogs of their own, and so that would lead to a conclusion that we are actually within the norm.”
She raised one finger to indicate rebuttal. “Ah, but statistics also say that more than fifty percent of children suffer from different kinds of emotional problems, and having a pet, especially a dog, has been shown to be a way to help kids deal with the problems in their lives. That means a dog is a benefit, and as parents, you should want to provide your child with every possible benefit, now shouldn't you?”
My eyes were probably as wide as our dinner plates. “And just what emotional problems might you be dealing with, young lady?”
She looked at me with that expression that only young kids can pull off, the one that says, “Gee, old man, are you really that dense?”
“Father,” she said, “it should be obvious that I'm suffering from pet deficiency! That means I spend too much time wanting a dog, so I can't focus on the rest of my life, and if we don't resolve this soon, I'm sure my grades will be suffering, as well!”
We went to the pound that afternoon and rescued a medium sized mutt, which Katelynn promptly named “Bob.” Bob was with us for ten years, and when Katelynn was in college, he developed a form of canine cancer that took him from us.
Katelynn did not weep for “her” pet any more than did Rebecca and I.
“She'll always be our little girl, Bec,” I said. “No matter how this turns out, she'll always be our little girl, because she still lives every single day of her life, over and over again in our hearts. No matter what happens, we'll never really lose her as long as we remember the times she drove us crazy...”
“And the times she made us so proud that we were ready to burst.” She wiped her eyes and th
e crying seemed to stop. “We'll find them, Jim, you'll find them. I know you will.”
Katelynn
Chapter Seven
We've Only Just Begun
* * * * *
The sun came up over the Rockies, and shined down on two people who were now more complete than they'd ever been. I woke to the memory of the night before, of finally making love to Nate not just once, but twice.
My wedding night had been all I'd ever dreamed it might be, and even more, despite the situation and conditions we were in. When I opened my eyes, I looked into the eyes of my husband, and reached for him without a second thought.
“No regrets,” I whispered to him, and he kissed me.
“No regrets,” he said, and then we made love again.
The feelings that took me as he touched me were so intense that I wondered how I could even survive so much pure pleasure, and when we were one, I cried out and gasped and clung to him as he made me his own. I had never known anything to equal the sensations, and never wanted them to end, not even for a moment! We rolled and bucked and reached for heights that neither of us had ever known before, and when we finally reached them, we fell back into a loving mess that was more than we'd ever dreamed it could be.
When we were laying together, tangled n each other's arms and legs and wrapped so comfortably into one another that neither of us ever wanted to move, we laughed. We were now man and wife, regardless of what anyone else might think; we knew, and God knew, and that was all that mattered to us.
“I'm thinking we need some breakfast,” Nate said, and I agreed. We got up and found the clothes we'd tossed about the little shelter, and put them on. I sniffed at mine and wanted to wrinkle my nose, but I didn't have any others, so they'd have to do.
