by Kelly Oram
“All right,” I finally said. “We’ll give it a try.”
Ryan lit up with excitement. “Really?”
“Just a try,” I warned. “Only if we can figure out how to do it. I can’t just go patrolling the streets hoping to see someone who needs help.”
Ryan waved off my skepticism. “Details.”
“Ryan.” He wasn’t taking this seriously enough.
“We’ll figure it out, don’t worry.” Ryan grinned again and swept me into his arms. “My girlfriend is going to be a real-life superhero,” he said, and then kissed me. “That is so hot.”
“Okay, now I get it.” I freed myself from Ryan’s grip and stepped back, my hands going straight to my hips. “Now I know why you’re so excited about this, but I promise you, it’s never going to happen.”
“What?”
Right. I wasn’t falling for the Ryan Miller Pout. Not this time.
“I’m not dressing up like Wonder Woman. Ever.”
Ryan’s innocent look turned into a frown. He grumbled “party pooper” at me, and I finally broke out into a real laugh.
“You’re going to have to wear some kind of disguise.”
“Disguise,” I said. “Not costume.”
“Uniform,” Ryan argued. “It doesn’t have to look stupid. I’m not going to make you don a cape and wear your underpants on the outside of your clothes. I’d settle for a nice spandex suit and some tall lace-up boots.”
“No! No spandex, Ryan. I am not kidding.”
Ryan grinned. “So, the tall boots are a go?”
“No!”
I rolled my eyes, but Ryan didn’t see it. He was busy flipping through one of his comic books. “Ooh. Trench coats are hot.” He flipped another page. “Or all black leather. You could totally pull off Scarlett Johansson in The Avengers.”
“You know what? I think I’m going to leave you to your ‘research.’ Call me when you stop thinking like a guy and come up with something that will actually help me hide my identity.”
Ryan pulled his nose out of his comic, glanced at his clock, and then sighed. “Maybe you’re right. I have a lot of reading to catch up on. I don’t know how Coach expects us to get all our homework done between practice and our workouts and still have time to sleep. Forget a social life.”
“Wait.” I gasped. “Was that—did I just hear a complaint come out of Ryan Miller’s mouth?”
I was teasing, but Ryan’s expression turned serious. “You’re right,” he said with a shake of his head. “I’m sorry. I’m still adjusting to my new schedule, and I’m just cranky because I have to let you go home. Come on, I’ll walk you out.”
Ryan was quiet as he walked me to the front door of his building. I was surprised to see him so stressed. He’s always so calm and relaxed about everything that sometimes I forget he’s every bit as human as I am.
He’s gone through just as much as I have in the past week, worrying about both Mike and me, and having such a demanding schedule on top of it. I can only imagine what kind of pressure he’s dealing with that he will never tell me about because he wouldn’t want to worry me.
He’s just so strong. I don’t know what I did to deserve him, but I won’t let myself take him for granted. He does so much for me, and I need to return the favor. He’s right. I do need to be more than Jamie Baker. I need to be the best girlfriend ever.
This time it was me who pulled him in for a long, steamy kiss—public setting and all. The way Ryan responded felt almost desperate. It only confirmed that he needed me more than ever right now.
Feeling spontaneous for once in my life, I let my power slip out and superkissed Ryan until his hair was standing on end. When we finally had to break apart for air, I smiled and attempted to smooth his hair back down for him. It was a pointless effort.
“What was that for?” Ryan asked, recognizing that I’d given him my energy on purpose.
It was my turn to give him a cocky grin. “Just thought you could use a little superspeed to help you get caught up on all of your reading.”
“What about your no superkissing rule?”
I shrugged. “Maybe you were right about me being a little paranoid. Everything turned out okay when I did it the other day. You haven’t noticed any brain damage, have you?”
“Um…No…But…”
The expression on Ryan’s face made me need to kiss him again. He’d been shocked, but also excited and grateful. “You know how much I love you, right?” I asked, unable to make myself leave.
Ryan finally returned to himself and smirked. “Of course I do. I’ve known that longer than you have.”
It was true; he’d definitely figured out that I loved him long before I realized it.
“Oh, good. Then I guess I don’t have to keep saying it.”
I started to walk away, but Ryan snaked his arms around my waist and dragged my lips back to his. “Just because I know it, doesn’t mean I don’t like to hear it.” He kissed me again with renewed vigor. “Never stop saying it, Jamie. Ever.”
Again with the Ryan face. How could I refuse that? “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“Good.” I finally managed to let go of him. “Now go inside and get your homework done Jamie Baker style, and then get a good night’s sleep.”
“I’ll dream about you,” he promised.
I considered his statement and then said, “Allowed. Just don’t dress me as Wonder Woman.”
“It’s my dream, Baker. I’ll dress you however I want.” His smile turned wicked. “Or maybe I won’t dress you at all.”
Ryan had given me a lot to think about. He always treats my powers like they’re some kind of fun game. Even the time I zapped him so hard I nearly stopped his heart his response had been, “Awesome. Let’s do it again.” His intentions are always great, and I love that he is always so positive, but I’m not sure he really looks at the negatives closely enough.
Putting myself in the public eye as some sort of superpowered hero would have repercussions. I guarantee not all of them would be positive, no matter what Ryan says. Could I really do it? Would it really be worth it? Did I even want to? I wasn’t sure, but it wasn’t a decision I could just make on a whim because Ryan charmed me into it.
With so much looming over me, I was pretty withdrawn the rest of the week. I didn’t do much besides go to class, and I kept taking off to do my homework where I wouldn’t be bothered by anyone.
The wonderful thing about having the entire continent at my disposal is that I can always find a nice, quiet, beautiful place to think. The Grand Canyon is my favorite. Lake Tahoe and Mount Rushmore are a couple of my other usual haunts, but by Saturday afternoon I found myself sitting in the stands of the Colorado State University stadium. Sac State was playing them today.
I’d originally come to watch Ryan play, but I found myself more interested in the strangers sitting around me. As I sat there watching them, I tried to imagine their lives. I tried to imagine them needing help and coming to their rescue. I tried to imagine what their responses would be to someone like me.
I just didn’t know what to do. I needed another opinion.
I thought about talking to my parents, but my dad would freak. I tell my parents everything and value their opinions, but my dad wouldn’t even think about this. He wouldn’t consider the possibility at all. He’s way too paranoid and afraid of losing me. Usually I can count on my mom to side with me, but on this issue she’d back Dad one hundred percent. No, I couldn’t talk to them. Not yet, anyway.
I cast my gaze to the small cluster of girls bouncing on the sidelines not too far from the football team. Becky looked so happy doing back handsprings and toe touches. Out there on the field with her girlfriends she looked like the old Becky, the happy one who had so much confidence. She’d been through something traumatic and had almost completely recovered. As I watched her smile and cheer, I realized how much I admired her and needed her friendship.
Obviously I knew Rya
n’s take on the issue of me becoming a superhero, and the only other person I ever really confided in was Becky, but she didn’t know the truth about me. Again, I contemplated telling her my secret. The longer I kept my powers from Becky, the dirtier the secret felt. Plus, I just really wanted her to be a part of this. I wanted her opinion.
And just like that, I’d made my decision. I was going to break the biggest superhero rule. I was going to go against everything my parents have always told me and tell Becky the truth about me.
I justified my decision by telling myself it might actually be a good thing to see her reaction. Ryan handled learning the truth just fine, but then Ryan handles everything just fine. Becky’s would be a more normal reaction. Maybe it would give me an idea as to whether or not people would turn on me if they knew what I could do. Would they be excited, or just afraid? Would Becky be scared of me? I hoped not.
I was on my bed a few hours later, nose buried in a Western civilization textbook when she came in the door lugging a duffel bag almost as big as she was.
“Hey! Welcome back! How was the game?”
Becky cheerfully tossed her duffel aside and pounced on my bed. “We won!”
I was thrown by the excitement in her voice, and there was a sparkle in her eyes that I hadn’t seen in over a year. “What is it?” I asked, completely abandoning my own agenda for her good news. She blushed and I changed my question. “Okay, who is it?”
Becky cringed and blushed even deeper. “Am I really so obvious?”
“No. I just know you that well, and that’s a look I haven’t seen on your face since, well, since we became friends. Who is he and how did you meet him?”
“Well, on the flight home the girls were talking about having a little victory party tonight.”
“You’re going to go to a party?” I tried to keep the shock out of my voice. I didn’t want to embarrass her or discourage all the progress she was making socially. If she kept this up, she’d be back to her old self in no time. I wanted that for her.
“Well, at first I tried to say no, but I kept hearing your voice in my head lecturing me about not getting over it until I just took the risk and put myself out there. Then I figured getting coffee with Teodoro the other day had gone okay—”
“Aha!” I teased. “So it’s Teddy, then. I approve.”
“Teddy?” Becky laughed.
“Yeah, that’s what I’ve decided to call him. Teodoro’s just so…”
“Foreign? Exotic? Sexy?” Becky supplied.
“I was thinking ‘hard to pronounce,’ but if it works for you...Though, ‘exotic’ and ‘sexy’ aren’t exactly the words I’d use to describe Teddy.”
“Come on, Jamie. He’s hot.”
“Matt Bomer is hot. Teddy is cute.”
“Adorable,” Becky agreed with a surprisingly wistful sigh. “But he’s still European and that is hot. Could you imagine if he had the accent? If he rolled his Rs, I think I’d be done for.”
I laughed. “I think you already are. So, what happened? Why are we all Team Teddy all of a sudden?”
“I thought maybe I liked him a little after we went to coffee the other day, and then I just saw him a few minutes ago. We’d all just gotten off the bus from the airport when we ran into him. He was so excited to see me that he pushed his way through the entire football team in order to talk to me. It was so cute, Jamie. He had to, like, jump up and down in order to see over all the guys’ heads. He didn’t even care that some of them looked like they wanted to kick his butt when he started talking to me.”
I would have loved to witness that moment. “Yeah, Teddy seems like the kind of guy who doesn’t care if you’re out of his league.”
Becky laughed. “I don’t think he even understands the concept of different leagues. He walked right up to me in front of everyone and asked how I was doing. He said he’d been worried about me and then asked what I was doing tonight. He was completely oblivious to the looks the football players and some of the other girls were giving him. He wasn’t intimidated at all. The girls fell in love with him on the spot and invited him to the party tonight. The guys were shocked. If Ryan hadn’t stepped in and introduced him to them, I think they might have killed him. It was so funny!”
I laughed again. “He’s something else, isn’t he?”
“He’s different,” Becky agreed. “With him there’s no tension—no stress at all. He doesn’t get too close or try to touch me. Sometimes he tries to be flirty, but it’s not serious. It’s like he’s just being friendly.”
I found myself nodding my head. “That was exactly what I thought about him, too.” Never mind the threat I gave him about scaring Becky. “He’s very friendly and easy to talk to. And hilarious. I think he’d be good for you.”
Becky blushed. “He doesn’t scare me. It’s like being with Ryan, except I’m attracted to Teodoro.” Becky paused a minute and then gave me a shy smile. “I really like him, Jamie.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” I teased. “I can finally put a stop to all the lectures. I was starting to feel like a preacher.”
Becky and I hugged each other and then she pulled me down onto her bed. “Okay, enough about me. What’s up with you? I’ve hardly seen you all week. Don’t tell me nothing’s going on, because even Ryan said you’ve been scarce this week.”
“I was just swamped and he’s so busy with football. We didn’t really get to see each other at all this week.”
Becky didn’t let me off the hook. “So?”
This was my chance to tell Becky, but now that I was faced with the moment I didn’t have a clue what to say. How do you explain to someone that you are a superpowered freak and are thinking about taking up hero work as a hobby?
“You and Ryan aren’t having problems, are you?” Becky asked.
“No. Of course not. That’s not it. I’ve just had a lot of stuff going on. It’s got me stressed.”
Becky responded to the hesitation in my voice with concern. “What stuff? What can I do to help? You’ve helped fix me, so now it’s my turn. Talk to me.”
“I don’t know, it’s just—Mike’s accident really messed with my head, but not in the way you think. I feel so guilty.”
Becky’s face soured the way it always does when Mike’s name is brought up, but what she said shocked me. “You too?” she asked. “I’ve been going crazy since it happened.” She was quiet for a second and then scoffed bitterly. “That’s sick, isn’t it? That Mike could do what he did to me and I still feel horrible about what happened to him. I mean, he was trying to apologize, and I pissed him off so bad he stormed off without looking.”
“Beck, no. He was drunk. He stepped off that curb without looking because his judgment was severely impaired. It wasn’t our fault.”
“I know,” Becky started to say. “That’s what I keep telling myself, but I still feel guilty. Hey, wait. I thought you just said you feel guilty, too.”
“I do.” I was not explaining this right at all. I took a deep breath and then said, “But it’s more than just the fight we had. I could have stopped the accident. I saw it coming. I could have pulled Mike to safety, but I didn’t. I let him get hit.”
Okay, that did it. I knew she didn’t understand what I meant yet, but it didn’t matter. Admitting it out loud again made my eyes get moist. Becky saw my tears and threw her arms around me.
“That’s crazy, Jamie. You can’t do that to yourself. Yeah, when he stepped off that curb there was a heartbeat there where I knew he was about to get hit, too, but it all happened so fast. You couldn’t have done anything. There were tons of people there. People who were closer to Mike than you were, and they couldn’t stop him, either. Nobody could have done anything about it, or somebody would have.”
“But that’s just it! I could have.” I pulled back so that I could look Becky in the eye. “There’s something you need to know. Something I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time, but I didn’t know how.”
Becky frowned, but it
was mostly out of confusion and concern for me.
I took a deep breath, but before I could spit it out there was a loud knock at the door. Both of us jumped and managed small laughs. I wiped my eyes and started to get up, but Becky stopped me. “Ignore it,” she said. “Whoever it is can come back later. This is more important. What’s wrong, Jamie?”
I took another breath. “Nothing’s wrong exactly, it’s just—”
There was another knock, louder this time, and then Teddy called out, “Hello? Anybody home?”
I couldn’t ignore Teddy. He had lousy timing, but he was Becky’s first real crush in a year. “It’s okay. We’ll talk later.”
“Are you sure?” Becky asked. “Because I can always talk to him later.”
“Jamie?” Ryan’s voice joined Teddy’s. “Becky? You guys in there?”
Becky and I shared a smile. “Later,” she said, and then went to answer the door.
Teddy came in first and gave me that irresistible, dimpled smile. “So nice to see you again, Jamie.”
“You, too.”
I went to Ryan and kissed his cheek. “How was the game?”
“We won. You up for a victory party?”
I’d hardly seen Ryan all week. I was definitely not in the mood for a party. “I’ll go if I absolutely have to.”
Ryan grinned. “I was hoping you’d say that. I don’t want to go, either. I’ve got a surprise for you.” He kissed me then turned to Becky with an apologetic smile. “Will you hate us if we bail?”
I was worried about ditching Becky at her first party. I would have gone for her if she needed me to. I gave her a silent look that I knew she understood. She seemed nervous, but then she glanced at Teddy and shook her head, letting me know it was okay.
“You guys really aren’t going to go?” Teddy asked.
Ryan pulled me to him, pressing my back firmly against his chest. With his arms in a firm grip around my stomach, he kissed my neck and smiled at Teddy. “It’s been a long week. I need some alone time with my girl. You know how it is.”
