“Oh, honey! You are going to drop some jaws, darlin’!” Tracy squealed as she took a step back to observe her fine work.
Chris couldn’t remember the last time she wore shorts, but she topped it off with a sleeveless black shirt that wrapped around her neck and exposed a large portion of her back. At first, Tracy disagreed with so many dark shades, but when she found that it went well with Chris’ natural caramel skin, she had a change of heart. And with Chris’ sleek, black hair dangling off her shoulders, for the first time in forever, she almost thought herself pretty.
As Chris was checking out at the cash register, she rang up a pretty high bill even with Tracy’s ten percent discount, but Wade’s allowance more than covered it. Still, when the total rang up, the southern debutante gasped.
“Oh my. I-I’m sorry, darlin’. Sometimes, I just get so carried away anymore-!”
“Are you kidding?” Chris laughed, handing the clerk several large bills. “You’re officially my new shopping buddy!”
As Chris pondered how she would get all of her stuff back to the bus, a feeling of dread sunk in. After all, walking back in high heels across town with several heavy bags made her feet hurt just thinking about it.
“Do you need any help out to your car, hun?”
“Maybe,” Chris perked up and took a chance, hoping that she hadn’t worn out her welcome. “I’m parked about half a mile from here.”
“Oh dear…”
“I don’t suppose you could call a cab for me?”
“A cab?!” Tracy burst out. “Absolutely not! I’ll load you up take you wherever you need to go! I’ve got plenty of room in my SUV!”
Chris’ relief came through in waves and she felt the warmth of the older woman’s kindness more than anyone she’d ever known in her life.
“Wow…I-I can’t thank you enough!”
“Don’t mention it, sug! We can’t have you ruin those heals already, now can we?”
Chris replied with laughter and as she and Tracy loaded up her Suburban, but she grew somewhat disquieted knowing that the fun time she had was coming to a close.
“Well, I’ll be a possum on a gator farm!” Tracy remarked as she pulled up behind Heretic’s bus. "Is this yours, hun?"
Chris laughed aloud at Tracy’s southern expressions, but she didn’t exactly know how to explain away such a ride. Somehow, saying that she was a drummer for one of the most famous rock groups in America wouldn’t fly over very well, but said nothing more as she pulled her vehicle to a stop and put it in park.
“Well, sug. It’s been so wonderful meeting such a fine young lady. Can I help you with your bags?”
Once again, Chris thanked Tracy when she came through for her.
As they both piled her belongings in front of the bus door, Pete slid them open for her. Chris hated goodbyes but couldn’t avoid it any longer. Tracy’s arms opened wide and Chris laughed and gave her a warm embrace, not caring if her blood-red lipstick got on her new clothes.
She squeezed her tightly and hugged her as a friend - not a stranger - and patted her gently on the back.
“I can’t thank you enough for everything, Tracy.”
“Oh stop-.”
“No, really. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t met you in that store today.”
“Well, ya’ll just come back anytime now, y’hear? I need to take you by my husband’s restaurant. He makes the best BBQ north of the Mason-Dixon Line!”
Chris laughed at the irony of it and took up a bag in each hand.
“Sounds good. Goodbye, Tracy. And thanks again!”
After Chris bade Tracy farewell, the little old woman hopped back into her SUV, waved, and took off down the road.
Chris smiled to herself and took a deep breath as she prepared to walk up the steps of the bus. She didn’t stop to think for a minute about how ridiculous she might look in front of the guys. Already she could feel her face flush with warm blood as she mentally nudged herself into taking her first step.
She took a deep breath and walked up the steps, determined not to trip and make a fool of herself. But when she finally reached the top, she wasn’t prepared for Heretic’s reaction.
Silence greeted her as she stopped mid-stride to her room. She saw Joe on the floor playing Halo, but he paused altogether while he held the controller and stared up at her, wide-eyed and slack-jawed all while an alien killed his avatar. But he appeared to take no notice to his own demise and soon, absent-mindedly dropped his controller.
Os was still in the same spot as she left him, strumming his guitar, and his expression wasn’t far from Joe’s when he stopped playing and looked at her fixedly. And finally, Wade’s look of shock hit home most of all when he quit jotting in his notepad and looked at her.
“Jesus,” he said, looking over her several times. “For a sec there, I didn’t know who the hell you were.”
Chris blushed and stood there awkwardly, clearing her throat as they all continued to gawk at her, but after a few moments, the silence became too much.
“Hey - uhm, Joe? I could use your help with the rest of my stuff. I’m just a little too scared that I’ll break my ankle going down those steps again,” she said, attempting to shrug off the unwanted attention.
But Joe did nothing and only continued to ogle her.
“Uhm…Joe?” she said again but he never once blinked in acknowledgment.
Finally, Wade got up and as he walked past Joe, he slapped him on the back of his head.
“Hey! Numb nuts!”
“Ouch!” Joe yelled, snapping out of his delirium. “The fuck was that for?!” he groaned while he rubbed the back of his head.
“You act like you’ve never seen a girl before!”
Joe got to his feet and as they walked past her, Chris was sure Wade’s gaze lingered a while longer over her clothes before he disappeared with Joe down the steps. But she shook her head of it, chocking it up shopping burnout.
“Not a hot one!” Joe blurted causing Chris to blush further.
As they unloaded off the bus and busied themselves with her bags, Chris looked at Os, but this time, he deliberately looked back down at his guitar and pretended she wasn’t there. Chris just rolled her eyes and shuffled back to her room as best she could.
She put her clothes on the floor beside her and sat down on the bed. Chris laughed when she realized that she proved herself wrong today. She did have a good time and she wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to do so again if Wade allowed it.
Soon, she heard the unmistakable shuffle of Wade and Joe as they clumsily made their way to Chris’ room. Joe was the first to come in, brandishing one of the biggest smiles she had ever seen. He beamed down at her proudly as if he had been the one who do her complete makeover.
“Thanks, Joe.”
“No problem!” he said happily, setting her things on the floor.
Soon, Wade followed filed in and placed the last remaining bags in whatever space he could find.
“Let me know if you need anything else!” Joe said in an upbeat fashion.
Wade stepped out of her already crowded room and attempted to get Joe to leave with him.
“Will you get the hell outta here? The last thing she needs is to be ogled by a band member.”
Wade shoved Joe away and stood blocking the door trying to prevent him from coming back inside. But despite Joe’s advances, Wade was much bigger and easily filled the doorway with his muscular frame.
“Chris, we need to talk.” Wade began.
“Oh?” Chris grew nervous at once, knowing that nothing good ever came from those words.
But before seriousness could get a foothold on their conversation, Joe’s head appeared in the doorway again.
“You look really nice, Chris!”
All patience aside, Wade took one hand and palmed the side of Joe’s face and shoved it permanently from the doorway.
“Don’t you have some aliens to kill?!”
“Fuck me, man…damn…�
�� came Joe’s disappointed voice.
Chris tried to hide a snicker, but killed it when Wade’s serious expression bore into her. She couldn’t help but be reminded about how much she felt like a kid preparing to be lectured by a parent.
Wade’s face burned and his skin was on fire from the moment he walked past her on the bus. He tried to forget about the perfume that rose from her skin, but it was eating him alive. He never thought for a moment that the baggy jeans she wore hid from him legs that went all the way up. He shied away from her gaze as best he could, hoping she wouldn’t notice him studying her. He rubbed the back of his neck and took a deep breath trying to play it cool, but mostly, trying to erase her shapely features from his mind.
For a moment, she noticed him as he looked at her awkwardly, almost as if he forgot how to speak, but his first order of business caught her unaware.
“I take it was money well spent?”
“Oh yeah! Uhm…” she began, but then began to dive into her pockets. “I still have money left-.”
But Wade held out his hand to stop her. “Keep it. There’s more where that came from.”
His demeanor shifted again and Chris never once knew of a time where Wade didn’t know what to say. Without a doubt, his stare was more penetrating than any other time she could recall and without warning, her stomach lurched and her mouth became dry.
But little did Chris know, that Wade was just as terrified hoping this conversation would go smoothly.
“Look - uhm… If it’s alright with you…you should probably be careful about how you dress from now on.”
“Sure,” she nodded.
“N-Not that I care! It’s just that-.”
“It’s alright, Wade. I still prefer my hoodie. This doesn’t change anything. I’m still Chris Rebman.”
For a moment, Wade stood there feeling the tension lift considerably and the fact that he didn’t have to do most of the talking took a load off his chest, particularly on a subject that he felt uncomfortable with in the first place.
“Right. Well, it got me thinking.”
“About what?”
“About hiding you. We may not be able to do it forever, but with these clothes, maybe we won’t have to.”
Chris’ eyebrows came together. “Whaddya mean?”
“Joe has three sisters back home. No one’ll be the wiser if we pass you off as his family – just in case someone spots you. It’ll be the perfect cover story.”
Instantly, Chris’ heart jumped at the opportunity to wear normal clothes in public, but she kept her eagerness in check while in front of Wade.
“Now, I’ll just have to get Joe to buy into it,” he said as he glanced down the hall.
Chris giggled but she immediately covered up her smile as if she’d made a blunder, but Wade wasn’t upset. In fact, he smiled back at her. Chris felt the heat rising again on her skin.
“If you join us again up front, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to show less skin or I’ll have a helluvua time keepin’ Joe off ‘a ya.”
Chris smirked, stifling another laugh. “Actually, if it’s okay, I think I’m gonna crash. I’ve been shopping all day and these heels are killing me.”
“Wow, you even sound like a girl now.”
Chris dropped her shoulders slightly and her head fell slightly to the side. "Oh shut up."
“I’m glad you had a good time,” Wade smiled once more just before he closed the partition and left her alone.
But Wade only told Chris the half-truth. He needed to get the hell out of there before he sprung on her.
As Wade walked back over to his spot on the couch, he found everyone as he had left them; Joe lost in Halo, Os busying himself with his guitar, and Pete driving them at a mind-numbing rate towards their next destination.
After he propped his legs up, he went back to his music and continued to jot down more lyrics while listening to his tunes. But as Pete’s driving sent them past one endless mile after another, Wade found his stone-cold concentration start to crumble. He tried to find a new rhythm in his head, but instead, he found Chris’ shapely figure interfering with his thoughts. Several times, he caught himself staring off into space thinking about her long legs and slender frame – not to mention her shiny, black hair which fell so easily over her shoulders. He wondered what it would feel like to run his fingers through her hair.
Focus, he commanded himself.
Wade punished his thoughts and caught himself smiling again. Only this time, he wasn’t the only one.
He looked over at Os and found his younger brother staring at him disapprovingly. Wade mentally kicked himself in the nuts, especially after Os caught him, but when he wouldn’t stop staring at him, he got angry very quickly.
“What?!” he spat.
Os only shook his head and said nothing as he went back to strumming his guitar.
Chapter 9
Over the next several weeks, Chris only emerged from her bedroom in her baggy clothes. Like before, Wade was left in utter disbelief at her ability to shift her mannerisms from a girl to a guy so quickly. He began to wonder how many other talents she possessed.
Still, he asked little questions when at every venue in which they appeared, turned out to be better than the last. Such much so, that Wade no longer spotted signs sporting Hess’ comeback. Wade was also relieved when the fire about their former drummer was just starting to die down. More than anything, he wanted to play their music in peace, but instead, the media honed in on their success. It was no secret to anyone who knew music that Heretic was growing in fame and popularity. And that, to Wade, was all thanks to one person.
Soon, Wade began to feel more like himself again. He was relieved as the stress of their dark past finally began shrivel and die out. Whenever they had free time, while everyone else was doing laundry, he’d find the nearest gym and pounds weights until he came back to the bus in a sweaty mess and not wake up until hours later.
But getting back into shape wasn’t the only reason why Wade went to the gym. Of course he wanted Heretic to continue on the path to success, but the more Wade saw Chris, the more he imagined her in clothes that revealed a shapely figure. He did what he could to beat the thoughts from his mind and the only way he knew how was to wear himself out. So he abused himself for hours in the gym, and afterwards went straight to his room, too tired to think about Chris being a girl, or anything else for that matter.
One evening, as their tech crew set up for that night’s show in New Orleans, Chris sat at a picnic table with Joe far from the rest of the commotion and away from prying eyes while he tugged and twirled his dreads. Yet again, she saw Wade on the phone talking endlessly with Mike.
Wade looked over at them several times to ensure that they were always within eyesight, hovering over her with his protective gaze, as if at any moment someone would come up attack Chris outright. But on rare occasions like this, Joe acted as Wade’s second-in-command.
Bored, Chris watched as the numerous techies went back and forth to the semi-truck to unload huge boxes of Heretic’s equipment. For months on end, she watched as they expertly maneuvered thousands of pounds of equipment up and down precarious ramps. She grew kind of bummed when she didn’t even know their names - the three remaining members of Heretic (and Pete) were her only company. Then, she sighed a little too loudly.
“Why the sad face, chica?” Joe mocked her expression and pouted his lower lip.
“Nothing. I guess I just wish I could help. I feel kinda useless just sitting here,” she said, gesturing to the crew.
Joe looked back briefly at the busy worker bees and waved off Chris’ comment.
“Naw, trust me. They know what they’re doin’. You’d only be in the way.”
Chris shrugged and began to pick at a splinter at the table while Joe continued to mess with his thick dreadlocks. With Wade just out of earshot, Chris could barely make out a slight ‘jingle’ sound coming from his pocket. Unable to quell the nagging question that began to surface ag
ain, she turned to Joe for answers.
“Hey, Joe?”
“Sup?”
“Why does Wade always have his hand in his pocket?”
Squinting through the afternoon sun, Joe looked over at his friend and saw the same thing. Chris always thought he was fiddling with something that he kept hidden deep within his jeans, but she didn’t know what it was. She never once saw him take anything out of them.
“I ‘unno. Maybe he’s jackin’ off.”
Chris’ shoulders dropped in response and frowned at Joe.
“How much weed have you had today?” she asked him sarcastically.
Joe laughed and shrugged his shoulders while he shook his head.
“It sounds like a coin,” Chris said to herself.
“You could ask Os! He might know!”
Chris glared at Joe until he was the first to blink.
“Jesus, okay! Okay! I’ll stop - just don’t stare at me like that anymore. I might melt or somethin’. Why don’t you just go ask him? He knows everything anyway.”
“Yeah, why is that?”
“Why is ‘what’?” Joe asked stupidly, but Chris took a deep breath to avoid getting frustrated.
“Why does he know everything?” When Wade glanced back at them, she lowered her voice. "Somehow I just don’t picture him being here."
“You ‘n me both, sista. Os said he got like…valedictorian or some shit in high school. Had a full ride to college and everything, but after a few years, we all got together ‘n…Well! The rest is history!”
Joe grinned widely and opened his arms in an exaggerated gesture, but before Chris could ask any more questions, he went on.
“You’d also never guess he was clauster…clusto-o…uhm…” Joe scratched his head trying to come up with the word.
No Holding Back Page 10
