At one end of the room, she noticed the elderly couple Wade had mentioned, sipping at margaritas in their booth but they didn’t so much looked over at Chris when she entered the bar. But as soon as she saw the rest of Heretic at the other end of the room, Joe was the first to spot her.
Chris had to stop herself from laughing outright when Joe gave her one of those big, goofy smiles and waved her down ridiculously when he didn’t need to. She saw Wade swat at his enthusiasm but Joe ignored him and went to get up, almost tripping over a small stoop in the process. Nevertheless, he pranced on over to her.
“Hey! Come on over!”
“What’ll you have?” the bartender asked Chris.
Shocked by the question aimed directly at her, she cleared her throat preparing to answer back in a deep tone, but Joe got to it first.
“He’ll have what we’re having. We all will!”
Chris hid her smile as best she could and secretly thanked him for his help. Joe winked and patted her on the back as he led her to their table. There, Wade greeted her with a kind smile.
“Hey, hey.”
Os, on the other hand, kept his eyes averted and took another swig of his beer. Joe motioned for her to sit on the inside and ended up sitting across from Wade and Os. And just when a smiling Joe took his seat next to her, the bartender walked over and placed four beer bottles in the middle of the table.
“Aaaand here you are, gentlemen.” Wade handed him a few bills which he pocketed and smiled in response. “Let me know if I can get you anything else.”
While Os snatched another cold beer, Joe tipped his bottle to the guy as he dutifully returned to his post behind the bar.
Chris eyed one of bottles before she wrapped her fingers around the cold neck and brought it to her lips before she could inhale the vile brew. Despite the fact that she never had a taste for beer, she took several large gulps before she brought it back down again. To her, she was still trying to shake off the trauma of the dream she had.
“Hey there, little lady. You better slow down or you’ll make me look bad!”
Chris nearly spat up making Wade laugh.
“Joe!? Lower your voice!” she hissed and smacked him hard on the shoulder.
“Oww! Dude what the hell, man?!”
Chris looked around and adjusted her beanie, but to her relief, neither the bartender nor the elderly couple noticed anything.
“You’re gonna get me in trouble!” she seethed at him.
While Joe rubbed his sore limb, Os rolled his eyes and killed off the rest of his beer before he put it back down on the table. He then belched loudly in front of them all and Chris nearly gagged when his foul breath reached her nose.
“Well, I’m off to bed.”
“Bed?! Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me? It’s only eleven!” Joe exclaimed.
“Yeah, I know. I’m gettin’ kinda tired,” Os said as he got up from the table.
Wade also protested with a long, drawn-out sigh, “Os. C’mon, man.”
But Chris knew better. He was lying through his teeth. She knew he didn’t want to spend any more time than he had to with Hess’ replacement – not with a girl.
Joe and Wade continued protesting but to no avail. Os walked through the doors and out of sight.
“Will you guys stop already? He hasn’t said two words to me all year.” Chris slumped in her seat and began to pick several paint chips off the wall. “…and I don’t expect him to start now.”
But hardly the one to wear a frown, Joe playfully wrapped his arm around both her shoulders and squeezed her a little too tight.
“Aww, c’mon now! That’s no way to start the night! We still love you! C’mon, Wade! We do, don’t we?”
“Awesome,” Chris said with a roll of her eyes.
“You’re drunk, Joe,” Wade stated, before he took a long draught from his beer.
“Thank you, Mr. Obvious!”
Both Wade and Chris chuckled while she tried to physically separate herself from Joe, but just then, she got a whiff of a strong odor.
“Gah! Get away from me. You smell like chlorine!”
Unabashed, Joe remained cheery and leaned over slightly in his seat. With a wide grin, he farted so loud, Chris felt it vibrate through the seat.
“How ‘bout now?” he asked.
Right away, the stench of dead animal carcasses and rotted food reached her nostrils.
“Oh my god!” Chris groaned as she buried her head into her sleeves, but it was no use. Her eyes welled with tears from Joe’s noxious gas.
Even Wade tried to wave away the fetid smell using both his hands.
“For fuck’s sake, man! In public!?” Wade hissed.
“You know a better…” Joe hiccupped. “…time?”
Chris rolled her eyes and looked up at Wade. “Time off to relax, huh?”
Wade winced. “Yeah, I didn’t see this one coming.”
“C’mon ‘n drink up, l’il lady!” Joe ushered, clinking his beer bottle into Chris’ and spilling a few drops in the process.
“Joe! Watch out, wouldja?! This is my favorite hoodie!”
“Joe. C’mon, man. This is a little noisy even for you.”
Wade tried his best to be serious, but he had a hard time keeping his composure. Watching the two of them together was like watching a brother and sister fight.
But despite his antics, Chris always felt more relaxed with Joe around. No matter the occasion he seemed the excellent friend and party-goer and his goofy idiosyncrasies always made her feel welcome, relaxed, but most of all - accepted.
And several beers later, she soon forgot about Os and his poor attitude from earlier. She felt like being more sociable now than she’d ever been, but she couldn’t help it as a few of her words started to become slurred.
“So Joe, tell meh somethin’.”
“Anything you wanna know…I’m your man.”
"Good God," Wade rolled his eyes but they both ignored his sarcasm.
“You like girls,” Chis hiccupped. “Right?”
She managed to hide a strong belch, but at the cost of a slight pain coming from the middle of her chest.
“Fuck’er you kiddin’ me!? I love girls! If it wasn’t fer my momma, I wood’in be here! I love you, momma.”
Joe drifted off into his own world momentarily and raised his bottle to the air. It was obvious that Joe was more than smashed while both Wade and Chris roared with laughter as he toasted his mother. But then, Joe brought one of his hands to his head as if he was hit with a sudden migraine.
“Ohh! Nooo!” he suddenly burst aloud.
“What? What’s wrong, Joe?” Chris asked, trying to keep her tired eyes open.
To Chris, it didn’t seem that long ago since she joined them at the bar, but as she looked at the clock above the doorway, two hours had already gone by.
“I just remembered something!”
“This’ll be good,” Wade butted in with a sip of his beer.
“No, no! I’m serious, man! I just remembered…” he closed his eyes and squinted hard. “I left my damn charger on the bus! Fuck! My tablet’s almost dead!”
“Joe, Joe! Chill, man! It’s all good. I brought mine with me. You can swing by my room and get it. I’m not gonna use it,” Chris offered.
“Whoa, really!?”
“Sure. Just come by in the morning and it’s yours.”
“Ten bucks says he’ll forget,” Wade teased as he reached for another beer.
“You’re on,” Chris chimed in, and clinked beer bottles with Wade.
“Whatever, man! I got a memory like uh…uhm. Like uh…”
“…an elephant?” Wade interjected. “The way you’ve been drinkin’ tonight, you won’t remember shit that happened five minutes ago.”
Chris burst into laughter.
“Fuck you, man! Nothing’s gonna keep me from my movies!”
“Yeah,” Wade chuckled to himself. “…adult movies.”
Chris nearly choked on a mouth
ful of beer.
“Dude! What the-!? I’m gonna pound your ass!”
Joe squealed and got up out of his seat in a playful attempt to punch Wade. But his foot caught the small stoop and he would have fallen on the floor if not for Wade’s help.
“You’re not gonna pound anyone. You’re too wasted to tie your own god damn shoes.”
“Oh yeah!?”
As Joe reached down to his feet preparing to act on Wade’s challenge, he fell onto the floor instead and this time, Wade wasn’t fast enough to catch him. He groaned and set his beer on the table while he leaned over and pulled Joe back to his feet.
“Alright, man. I think you’ve had enough for tonight. Let’s go.”
“Go where?” Joe asked.
“To your room!” Wade said impatiently.
“Hell no, man! I got this shit. Man, I gotta piss like a mother-.”
Joe spun in a circle a few times before Wade stopped him and helped him face the door like a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey game.
“Whatever, man. Let’s go. It’s obvious you need my help.”
Wade shook his head and was prepared to walk him to his room but Joe shrugged him off, determined to make it on his own.
“Help!? What’re gonna do, man? Hold my dick for me? I love you, man, but not like that.”
“Man, you’re killin’ me. Shut the hell up. Do you even know what room you’re in?”
Suddenly, Joe held up the palm of his hand and grinned. And there, written in bold, black lettering were the numbers 2-2-8.
Wade was shocked.
“It’s about time you learned your damn lesson. God help you if you ever do the same shit you did in Austin…”
Joe became riddled with embarrassment and tried to come up with a retort. Chris snickered when she recalled that day. Joe got so drunk on whiskey, he banged on another door at the hotel and screamed at a poor old woman and insisted she had ‘stolen’ his room. It was a fine mess for security when they couldn’t get him to wake up all while he snoozed peacefully on the woman’s bed. Wade was just thankful that the reporters didn’t get a hold of that story.
“She was in my room, I swear it!”
“Sure, she was,” Wade said, killing off his beer.
“Whatever, man. I’m gonna go piss for an hour.”
While Joe bobbed and weaved his way to the door, Chris and Wade watched him as he stumbled through the doors and out of sight. But as soon as he was gone, Chris was gripped by the sudden realization that she was very much alone with the most popular front man in the world of rock music. She took a long gulp of beer.
A few hours and several beers into it, the alcohol made her lips grow numb and she caught herself on more than one occasion pressing them together to get feeling back into them.
An awkward silence ensued as Wade also struggled to come up with something to say. Just minutes ago they talked so carefree with Joe around, and for the last few hours they touched on every subject; home, life, music. Now, there just didn’t seem anything left as Chris picked at the moist napkin from under her beer bottle and cleared her throat.
“Well, I uhm…I guess I better get goin’ too-.”
But she only made it halfway out of her seat before Wade spoke up.
“So, how much do you know about Hess?” he asked, staring down at the table.
Chris paused at the question and she could feel her heart stop. Already, she was trying to expertly take her seat across from Wade again. She mentally struggled to become sober very quickly; after all, it was a rare and avoided topic.
“I uhm,” she began, hearing her own audible swallow. “…only saw what was on the news…radio, internet, ‘n stuff.”
Wade looked up at her and nodded. Chris wondered how he could even be coherent. He had more beers than anyone that night, yet he looked surprisingly sober and aware of everything around him.
“Well, nothing says news like a hundred conniving reporters doing everything they can for a juicy story.”
Just then, she looked around to ensure that they were still completely alone. The elderly couple left hours ago and the bartender stood enamored with the television. Regardless, she leaned slightly over the table, intent on making whatever he had to say, for her ears only.
“Are you saying it wasn’t true? That Hess was innocent?”
“Innocent? Fuck no. It’s true alright. Every damn detail,” he sighed.
Chris squirmed in her seat. She didn’t have a clue as to why Wade chose to mention her predecessor now, but one look into his glazed eyes and she realized that several beers may have loosened his tongue a bit after all.
“I’m sorry. I know you don’t like talking about it, so I never asked.”
Wade exhaled for the longest time and a napkin floated across the table as it road his breath.
“Why haven’t you?”
“Huh?”
“As a part of Heretic, you have every right to know. Hell, I think everyone and their mom knows by now.”
Wade stared at the table and shook his head, trying desperately to forget the media hurricane and its ever lingering memories. But despite Wade’s cool mantra, Chris suddenly felt as if she were being interviewed for a job.
“I’m just here to play. Drama is the last thing I want.”
“Well, thanks for that. I appreciate it. We all do.”
Wade appeared to drift off into space. But after a few uncomfortable moments of silence, Chris pressed him again. “Why are you bringing this up now?”
“Well, the way I see it is: you’ll have been with us for over a year now and you’ve exceeded my expectations. And that’s hard to do.” Chris’ heart stopped for a second and thankfully, her hoodie hid most of her blushing. “You’ve proven yourself a capable musician and die-hard member of Heretic and more importantly - you’re better than Hess by far. It’s only right that you should know everything. Even a few things about Os.”
Chris went slightly numb as Wade came out with it. She tried to blink away the tiredness. She needed to. She had to hear this.
“I’m listening,” she whispered.
Wade took several gulps of a fresh beer before he continued. It was clear to Chris, that even after all this time, the subject was still a difficult one.
“You see…back before all this shit happened, Os and Hess were best friends. I mean they were inseparable. Drinking, partying, girls. You name it. They did everything together. It was almost as if they were brothers.”
Chris felt stupid for not knowing it sooner but after remembering the pictures on the cork board in her room of the two of them, it made perfect sense. But as far as she was concerned, it didn’t make her any more understanding of his poor attitude towards her.
She shot a dirty look in the direction of the door despite the fact that Os left hours ago. “Is he a pedophile, too?” she sneered, but right away, she felt as though she’d gone too far in accusing his brother.
Instead, Wade laughed weakly through his nose. “No. That’s just it. None of us knew what the hell Hess was doin’. And when we did, we felt coldcocked. But Os most of all.”
Chris was almost afraid to move but couldn’t help but ask, “What did he do?”
But Wade just shook his head slightly and stared into space and said, “Nothing.”
Chris’ jaw dropped.
“Whaddya mean ‘nothing’!? I heard on the news that Joe almost strangled him!”
Wade laughed when he reminisced that day, though it was anything but funny.
“Yep. Notta. As soon as the cops came and picked his ass up, Os didn’t say a damn word and just walked straight into his room. He didn’t come out for five days except to use the bathroom.”
That explained a lot to Chris, but before she could ask any questions, Wade continued.
“Despite what you think, Os doesn’t hate you.”
“We’re talking about the same Os, right?” she sneered.
“Hear me out,” Wade begged. “He doesn’t not talk to you because
you’re a girl.”
“Then what the hell is his problem?!” Chris yelled. But after a concerned look from the bartender, she forced her mounting anger down a notch.
Wade sighed. ”He’s afraid.”
“Of?”
“Trusting himself enough to open up. Of getting attached to someone. Ever. To him? You’re going to leave us. And you’re as good as gone if he pretends you never existed in the first place. I know it’s no excuse,” Wade admitted. “But he’s just keeping himself protected.”
Chris mulled over his response, but she still fumed whenever she thought about every single dirty look Os ever gave her.
“Is he ever gonna get over it?” she asked. “I mean…how long is it gonna take for him to accept me?”
Wade stared off into space again and shrugged his shoulders.
“I dunno. You see…our dad died when we were just kids and I practically stepped into his shoes from that day on. But Os?” Wade paused, shaking his head. “I still don’t think he’s ever completely recovered from that one. And now throw in ‘your best bud’s a sexual predator’ and you’ve got yourself the next Dr. Phil show.”
“Jesus,” Chris sighed, looking down at Joe’s empty spot.” At least Joe thinks I’m okay.”
Wade coughed as he took a drink of his beer. “You kiddin’ me? Joe would do anything for you. Like I said: he’s got three sisters back home.” Then, he looked directly at Chris and said, “Now he has four.”
A light came on for Chris.
“That’s why Joe’s so buddy-buddy with me?”
He nodded. “The girls that Hess was messin’ with weren’t much older than Joe’s own sisters. That’s why he was the first to grab him and beat the hell out of ‘im.”
Chris laughed. “Joe-Joe? We go at it all the time – he’s harmless!”
“Hardly,” Wade scoffed. “Believe me when I say you’ll never catch me with him on a bad day.”
“You’re joking, right?”
“There’s a reason why they waited for Hess to heal up before they took a mug shot. No one would have recognized him thanks to Joe’s handiwork. It’s weird, y’know?” Wade said, staring off into space again. “I’ve never known anyone to flip a switch as easily as he does. It’s almost…borderline psychotic.”
No Holding Back Page 17
