by Tawny Weber
His gaze narrowed, eyes calculating. As if he was figuring out just how to turn this to their advantage. Their naked advantage.
“Just because there’s this thing with us,” he said, waving his fingers back and forth between them as if there were an electric field there, “that doesn’t mean we have to give in to it.”
“Of course not,” she agreed with a strained laugh, her nipples aching and heavy as every breath brushed them against the thermal fabric of her shirt. “We’re not animals, after all.”
“Nope. Not animals,” he agreed, his eyes locking on her sweater-covered breasts, heating. Making her nipples tighten even more. “We know better than to get into something that we’ve both clearly accepted is bad for us.”
“So bad,” she breathed, her eyes lifting from his crotch to meet his slumberous gaze. “So, so bad.”
“So we’re having wild, uncontrolled animal sex, right?” he asked, his hand reaching out to hover over—but not quite touch, dammit—her aching nipple.
“Oh, yeah. Hurry and get your pants off,” she ordered, saving time by yanking two sweaters at once over her head. When her face cleared the fabric, she saw that Blake had pulled off his long-sleeved T-shirt and was unlacing his boots. What was with military footwear? she wondered, wanting to cuss at how long it took. Clearly, whoever designed it didn’t have fast sex in mind.
For the first time since they’d met, Blake showed a lack of grace as he hopped on one foot, trying to untangle the mile-long laces on his snow boots.
Wanting to hurry him along, Alexia took a deep breath and yanked her thermal undershirt over her head. Braless, since she’d thrown out everything she’d been wearing in that hellhole, her torso was instantly covered in goose bumps.
Until Blake’s gaze, hot and intense, warmed her like a caress.
“Damn, you’re gorgeous,” he breathed.
Then he lost his balance and toppled onto the other cot.
The crash was deafening.
She paused, her pants unzipped and her hands on her hips to shove them down, and met his eyes.
Desperation turned to laughter. Her gaze still locked on his, Alexia clapped her hand to her mouth to try to contain the chortles. But when he grinned, she couldn’t hold back.
Giggling, she pulled the blanket over her nudity and shifted into a sitting position to peer at Blake. Already on his feet—gotta love that physical conditioning—he was pulling the cot back into an upright position.
“Are you okay?” she asked as soon as she got control of herself.
“Yeah, but the cot’s a little worse for wear.” He kicked at one of the legs with his stocking-clad foot to indicate the bent metal.
“Oops.” Alexia wrinkled her nose at the damage.
“Can’t say I don’t know how to show you romance,” he told her, still smiling.
“Well, one of us was definitely swept off their feet.” Then she hesitated. Without the haze of his sweet rescue of her from her nightmare, or the reckless desperation that had pushed them toward fast-and-furious sex, they were left with... What?
A choice.
Alexia’s gaze fell to the plain black wool blanket she’d wrapped herself in, her fingers twisting then untwisting the hem.
She felt, rather than saw, Blake drop to his haunches next to her cot. Slowly, after taking a fortifying breath, she lifted her gaze to his.
He was so damn gorgeous. Blue eyes so warm, so inviting, and a mouth that was sexy whether he was smiling or frowning. Sexiest on hers, though. She could see the patience in his gaze. The comfortable acceptance that this was her choice.
It’d been so hard to get over him last time. She’d shoved her feelings about him, her wishes and regrets and longings, all into a box in the back corner of her mind. Then she’d pretended it didn’t exist. All but the anger. That, she’d held on to. Used as a weapon to beat down any thoughts she had of maybe peeking into that box.
This time, though, she wouldn’t have that anger. This time, she couldn’t blame him for anything that wasn’t his fault, as she had before.
This time, she was accepting him exactly as he was, completely aware of his loyalties. If they had sex, this time she was one hundred percent responsible for her choice. For her feelings. For whatever happened next.
Alexia’s fingers shook a little as she stared into his eyes. There, she saw acceptance, appreciation and a heat that went deeper than passion. A heat she couldn’t resist. Terrified, but unable to do otherwise, she dropped the blanket and opened her arms.
Blake gave an appreciative moan, traced his finger around one areola, then the other. Looking as if he was about to partake in the Fountain of Youth, he leaned forward to sip delicately.
Alexia’s own moan was high and breathless.
Then he moved. Rising to his feet, he stood like a warrior god of old, his broad shoulders tapering in a golden line down to his slender waist. His cock jutted proudly over thick, muscled thighs. Unable to resist, Alexia lifted herself to one elbow and leaned forward to blow lightly on the straining tip of his erection.
It jumped, as if coming to attention.
She slanted him a wicked look, then leaned closer to run her tongue around the velvety head. His fists clenched at his hips, but he didn’t move. Didn’t try to take control.
“Yum,” she murmured before taking him into her mouth, sliding her lips on and down the hard length of him. His fingers splayed, as if he was going to grab her, then he fisted them again. As a reward, she sucked, hard, just the tip, and made him groan out loud.
“My turn,” he insisted, lowering himself to the cot and sliding over her body. “Otherwise you might not get yours.”
“Oh, I’ll get mine,” she guaranteed, her bare feet skimming up the back of his hard thighs before she dug her heels into his butt and pressed her aching core to his erection. “You’re going to give it to me.”
“Yeah. I’m going to give it to you all right.” His teasing smile was the last thing she saw before his mouth covered hers. All it took was the touch of his tongue against hers and Alexia went crazy. She needed him. All of him.
“Now,” she demanded.
“I’m not done,” he said with a strained laugh as his fingers slipped between their bodies and down her belly to cup her curls.
As soon as he touched her swollen clitoris, she shattered. Stars burst, heat exploded. Her entire body convulsed, trembling with the power of her orgasm.
He moved like lightning, thrusting into her with a low, animalistic growl that turned her on even more. He took her hands in his, dragging both their arms over her head. Their eyes locked as his body rose over hers. Excitement swirled, deep and low in Alexia’s belly. Every nerve ending was electrified, raw with pleasure. Blake arched his back, then slid into her again in one deliciously slow thrust.
Her body contracted around him, reveling in the feel of his hard length as it moved in, out, in. Slow. So slow she could count her heartbeats between thrusts. So slow she wanted to cry from the pleasure of it.
He pulled her hands higher. Alexia gasped, arching her back against the pressure. She shifted onto her heels. The angle change meant the length of his cock now slid against her G-spot, that electrified, pleasure-charged sensor sending tight, tingling spirals of pleasure up, higher and higher in her belly. Blake bent his head, taking the beaded, aching tip of her breast into his mouth. The spirals climbed higher, grasped tighter.
Her breath came in pants now. Passion swirled, gripping her. Her body tensed as he teased her nipple deep into his mouth, then sucked. When the edge of his teeth scraped along the sensitive flesh, she exploded.
She wanted to close her eyes. To escape into the decadent ecstasy as it washed over her, pulling her deeper and deeper into delight.
But Blake wouldn’t release her gaze. Like a magnet, he held tight, forcing her to let him watch her orgasm, to see all the way into her soul as she let go.
As she exploded. Her body, her emotions, the very core of her being all lai
d bare to him as passion took over. She whimpered at the power, unable to do anything but feel. And it felt incredible.
Slowly, drifting like a downy feather, she floated back to earth. Her heartbeat was still so loud in her head she couldn’t hear a thing. But awareness was returning to her body. A body that was still shivering with the aftershocks of pleasure, like mini-orgasms rippling through her.
And no wonder.
Blake was still inside her. Still moving, slow and steady. Building, tantalizing. Teasing her with his control.
Time to shift the balance of power, she decided.
She reached up, threading her fingers through his short hair, and pulled his mouth to hers. Her kiss was sweet at first. A gentle thank-you for the delectable orgasm.
Then, as he sank into it, she took it deeper. Her tongue stabbed, her teeth nipped. He stiffened, the smooth rhythm of his thrusts shifting. Jerking.
Alexia let go of his hair, pushing against his shoulders. Then, in a move that made her grateful for her thrice-weekly pilates class, she gave a big push, and switched positions so she was on top.
“Yum,” she whispered.
A wicked smile played about his kiss-swollen lips and he gave an appreciative nod. “Yum, indeed.”
He angled his body so he was half raised, his head leaning against the wall of the tent, his hands cupping both her breasts. Holding them in position for his mouth.
Alexia wrapped her legs around the back of his hips, her heels digging into his butt.
Then she set the pace.
Fast. Intense. His face tightened as he drove into her.
“Now,” he demanded in a low, guttural tone. His face drawn taut, his muscles tense, he stared into her eyes.
She’d never felt such intimacy, such a touching of souls, as she did in that second. Blake, the connection between them, had become her entire world. Her entire focus.
He thrust harder. His eyes narrowed. He sucked air through his teeth. Feeling more powerful than ever before in her life, Alexia shifted higher, swirling her hips to meet his. Then she clenched her core muscles, grabbing his cock, holding tight.
He exploded.
Hers, she thought as his breath caught.
He was all hers. And she didn’t want to let him go.
Ever.
* * *
BLAKE WAS ENGULFED by the intensity of the passion pounding through his veins. The orgasm grabbed ahold, ambushing him with its power. As he poured himself into Alexia’s warmth, his body shuddered, his arms shaking as his muscles tensed to the point of shattering.
His orgasm triggered hers. Still spinning out of control, he watched through narrow, passion-blurred eyes as she went over. Her body tensed, arching her back. Her breasts, lush and gorgeous, bobbed in time with her frenzied gyrations. She tilted her head back, her moans filling the tent. Filling him with power, his ego swelling so he felt like a he-man. All-powerful, totally awesome.
“Wow,” she breathed a few seconds later, staring down at him. Damp tendrils of hair stuck to her face, her skin glistening in the dim light. Slowly, as if all her bones had melted, she sank onto his chest.
“Definitely wow,” he agreed, lifting her chin for a kiss. He wanted to say more. To find words to express how incredible he felt with her, how great that had been. But he couldn’t. Besides, she looked exhausted.
Telling himself it was the gentlemanly thing to do and not chickenshit, he kissed her again, then rolled so they were on their sides.
She curled into his body as if they were one. Blake closed his eyes against the emotions buffeting him. Passion, still flaming hot, led the pack. But right behind it was a tenderness, a gentle sort of sweetness he’d never felt before. It scared the hell out of him, so he focused on the passion instead.
He wrapped his arms tight around her, giving himself a brief moment of sweet surrender before he hitched her higher, his lips latching on to her breast.
“What are you doing?” she gasped, sounding half asleep.
“I’m not finished.”
“Oh, yes, you are,” she said with a gasping sort of laugh, her fingers digging into his shoulders. “I felt you finish, bud. Don’t try to claim otherwise.”
Kissing her, a soft, gentle brush of his lips over the swell of her breast, he gave her a wicked look. “I would never claim that was anything but fabulous. But I’m not finished.”
“You’ve got to be kidding.”
Then his fingers found her. Still wet and swollen, he flicked his thumb over her quivering clitoris. She gasped, her head falling back against the pillow and her nails leaving tiny crescents in his skin.
“You’re not kidding,” she breathed. “How...”
Her words trailed off when he slid lower, kissing his way down the center of her body. When he reached the flaming curls at her apex, she moaned, shaking her head as if she couldn’t believe he was there. But her thighs fell to the side, making room for his shoulders.
This time, when he emptied himself in her, he knew he was done. There. He’d given her all he had.
Every drop.
Every bit of pleasure.
Every ounce of himself.
He collapsed, pulling her tighter into his arms and rolling so he wouldn’t crush her. It was all he could do not to groan out loud as he realized what he’d done.
He’d gone and fallen in love.
He was so screwed.
12
BLAKE CURLED HIS BODY behind Alexia’s, his arms wrapped around her waist and fingers twined with hers. It was the closest he could get without being inside her. But give him another five, maybe ten minutes, and he’d be up for that again, too.
She was quiet in his arms. Too quiet. He could tell she wasn’t floating on a cloud in sexual nirvana. Not with all the tension he could feel radiating off her.
Give him another five, maybe ten minutes, and he’d get rid of that, too.
“You never asked me what happened at the compound,” she finally said, her words painfully low. “Is that a part of your orders? You’re on pickup-and-delivery service, but not allowed to know what’s in the package?”
Protocol clearly stated that he was exactly what she’d said—pickup and delivery. His orders had been clear. Don’t grill her. Debriefing would be done by higher-ups. Besides, Blake winced, trauma, PTS—she was going to be carting around plenty. But he wasn’t equipped to deal with it. Hell, with her psych degree, she was better prepared than he was.
Distract and delay, he decided. Until she could talk to someone who knew how to guide her back to feeling safe.
“I’m pretty sure I just explored the package pretty thoroughly,” Blake said, laughing a little before he leaned down to gently bite the back of her shoulder. Ah, the perfect distraction. Alexia gave a delighted shudder, pressing her hips back against him. He felt life stirring again, and was tempted. Oh, so tempted to let their bodies take over again.
But even though they didn’t have a future, even though his reasons for them not being together were all still strong and solid, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t go the same route he had before. He’d seen the questions in her eyes last fall, had known she wanted to talk, to connect in more than just a physical way. He could use the typical guy excuse that talking about emotions was stupid, a total girlie thing. But he knew that wasn’t what she was looking for. She just wanted to know more about the guy she was sleeping with than his favorite position and what moves sent him over the edge.
Blake had hurt Alexia once because he’d taken the easy route. He wasn’t going to do it again if he could help it.
“SOP in a rescue is to get in, get the victim and get out. We’re not supposed to ask questions unless it pertains to completing the mission,” he explained.
“Is that what I am? A standard operating procedure?” She didn’t sound angry. Nor did her body stiffen or shift away. She simply looked at him with patient curiosity. As if she could wait, that she totally trusted he’d get to the right answer eventually.
&n
bsp; Blake frowned. Why didn’t she ever react the way he expected? They had sex, and instead of falling into a satisfied stupor, she started thinking about her captivity. He inadvertently labeled her and she laughed it off. Would he ever understand how her mind worked? What her emotional triggers were?
“There’s nothing standard about you,” he said honestly. “The truth is, I don’t do this kind of thing well.”
She twisted in his arms so they were face-to-face. Her hair, free of the braid again, haloed around them like red flames. Her slender shoulders and silky skin made for a gorgeous distraction. Blake wanted to pull her tight against him, to tuck her head into his chest and distract her with sex. But the way she was staring at him made it clear she wasn’t going to go for it.
“What kind of thing?”
“The emotional aftermath,” he said with an uncomfortable shrug. “Dealing with the trauma. You went through hell. You deserve to talk to someone who understands how to guide you through the healing process. I’d say the wrong thing, or pat your head because I don’t know how to react, or cuss and punch something. And you don’t need anyone making it worse for you.”
Her eyes turned to liquid, her smile trembling a little at the corners.
“You are so sweet,” she said quietly, brushing her fingertips over his lips in a whisper-soft touch almost as intimate as a kiss.
“No. I just don’t want to talk the emotional stuff,” he dismissed gruffly. But inside, he felt like a little boy doing backflips. All excited because she thought he was sweet.
“But you would, wouldn’t you? If I had to talk it through, if I couldn’t wait for a professional who knew how to counsel me, you’d let me work it through with you?”
Blake would rather take a bullet. But, keeping his cringe inside, he nodded.
Her smile was bright enough to light the entire tent. With a husky laugh, she hugged him tight. Her bare breasts pressed temptingly against his chest while her legs twined with his.
“Sweet,” she told him. “You are so seriously sweet. Sweet enough that I won’t put you through that.”
“Thank you,” Blake breathed. Then, because words weren’t enough, he leaned down to kiss her. Their lips melted together, heating him through and through.
