by Tawny Weber
Masters’s face stiffened for a second, his jaw tight. He gave a short nod.
“Carter went down. It happens, man. We all know that going in.”
“He took a chunk of concrete to the back. He went down fast, but he was alive. I should have grabbed him then,” Brody said, staring at the cards in his hand but not seeing them. Instead, images flashed of that mission. Of his friend’s face, fire flaring all around them, the air filled with concrete as sharp as shrapnel.
“You had an injured kid in your arms and a damaged leg. You were ordered to get her out.”
“I almost went back. I could have carried them both. She was hardly more than a handful. But she was terrified. Started screaming and crying when I turned back. I figured I’d drop her at the helo, go back and get Carter.”
“That’s SOP.”
“The building blew before I could get back.”
“It blew before any of us could get back.” Masters’s words were toneless, easy. But Brody heard the pain in them. Knew the guy was struggling with his own demons. They’d all had a job to do, had all been focused on getting it done. But they should have gotten Carter out.
“No man left behind.” Brody’s jaw clenched so tight he had to force the team slogan past gritted teeth. “I failed.”
“If you’d gone back, you and the kid would have gone down, too. You got out of there with five seconds to spare.”
“I should have grabbed him.”
“Did you show the president the big fat S on your chest when he pinned you with that medal?” Masters asked, rolling his eyes and laying down a straight. “I thought your call sign was Bad Ass. Not Superman.”
Despite the misery curled in his gut, Brody smirked.
“Talk it out, hit the gym, visit the range,” Masters suggested, folding his arms over the back of the chair and meeting Brody’s gaze. “But get over it.”
“You been reading psych books again?”
Masters didn’t smile. Instead, he slid his cards together, tapped them on the table a couple of times, then met Brody’s eyes. His own gaze was steady, rock-solid.
“I’m damned choosy about who I serve with. About who I trust to cover my back. I’d serve with you without question,” the guy said, his words too matter-of-fact to be taken as sappy or sentimental. “I have complete confidence, not only in your ability to do your job. But in the simple fact that if I go down, you’ll do everything in your power to get me out. I can’t offer up a higher trust than that.”
They were SEALs. Bred for action. Words were rarely necessary, and other than to geeks like Masters who obsessed with books the way some guys drooled over porn, they didn’t mean much.
But hearing his teammate’s trust, knowing the guy wouldn’t hesitate to take the field with him again, it went a long way to bridging that gaping hole inside Brody. The one he could no longer ignore.
“Thanks.” Taking a deep breath, Brody faced the decision that’d been lurking for the last two months, waiting for him to man up. “But until I know it, too, I’m no good to the team.”
Brody laid down his cards, stood and clapped his buddy on the shoulder, and strode out of the room.
Just before he hit the door, he heard Masters mutter, “Son of a bitch. Royal flush? Does he ever lose?”
12
SO THIS WAS what life was like without daily PT, constant training and an ongoing need to challenge himself to push the limits. No missions, no range practice, no combat.
It was sort of mellow.
Settled on Genna’s couch with her curled up at his feet working on her latest brainstorm, Brody watched familiar scenes flash on the television.
Mellow was an odd speed for him. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it yet.
For ten years, he’d been going at full tilt.
The nineteen years before that had been spent on edge. Always ready to fight, always ready to run.
The last few months felt like turmoil.
But maybe, this week, he’d found peace. Or at least now that he’d pretty much decided his future, he wasn’t battling his own brain. That was close enough to peace, wasn’t it?
The irritating nag of a million doubts ran through his mind, mocking him. Okay, so he wasn’t at peace. So what. It wasn’t as if he’d ever been before.
He was happy, though.
His gaze shifted from the bomb-ravaged scene on the TV to the woman sitting at his feet.
Genna’s hair gleamed like black silk in the lamplight. He could only see her profile, but had to smile at the way her lips were moving as she made silent comments about whatever she was writing. Her enthusiasm, her wholehearted excitement over her new business, was pretty awesome. She didn’t let the obstacles, the issues with her family or the various questions he’d heard tossed her way slow her down. This was her dream and by damn, she was going to make it happen.
She was his dream, he realized.
Not just the hot sweaty kind. Although she’d ratcheted those up a few notches over the last couple of weeks. He’d never been a man who shied away from great sex, but clearly he’d been clueless to just what great was.
But Genna was more.
Sweet and fun, she believed in him. She gave him a feeling of contentment, of happiness, he’d never had. Never even knew existed.
As if clueing in that he was thinking about her, she flashed him a smile.
“Mr. Jenson said you and he had a fun chat today,” she said, looking up from where she was cozied between his thighs in front of the coffee table. She had a slew of papers spread over the surface, notes and sketches, at least three calendars and God knew what else. But it seemed to be making her happy. And that’s what he wanted. Her, happy.
“I stopped in the pharmacy to pick up my gramma’s prescription and he wanted to talk. I guess there aren’t too many people to share his Korean War stories with.”
“Well, there is the VFW and the American Legion. But everyone there has heard his stories. You’re fresh blood. And you’ve got rock star status, being a SEAL and all,” she teased.
Brody hoped she’d take his grimace as a smile.
Rock star.
Right.
That’d change in a heartbeat once word got out that he was leaving the navy. He’d be back to being a loser and deadbeat in everyone’s eyes. Except Genna’s. Which was all that he was going to let matter. He’d rather see the relief in her gaze than the worry he figured would be there if she had to see him leaving on mission after mission.
“How are the business plans shaping up?” he asked, wanting to change the subject.
“I’d thought it’d take a lot longer for word to get out that I’d started Sugar and Spice. I mean, I know this is mostly curiosity and test orders. It’ll level out in a month or so. I just hope it doesn’t level too much lower,” she mused, looking at a list of potential restaurants that were interested in carrying her desserts. “Or that my father would intimidate people out of ordering from me so I’d have to climb back under his thumb. I’m setting up a website. You know, a lot of bakers are having big success with next-day orders. And that way, even if my dad scares away locals, I’m still in good shape.”
Good plan. Then, his brows furrowed, he hit the pause button to freeze Jeremy Renner on the screen.
Would her old man really go that far?
“Have you talked to him at all?”
“My dad? Not since I told him I’d quit my job.” Genna shrugged. “But I have heard from the mayor four times this week.”
“He wants you to come back to work for him?”
“More like he wants me to talk you into changing your mind about being the guest of honor for his Honoring Our Heroes event,” she said, making it sound like a joke.
Brody’s jaw clenched and something ugly churned in his gut. Not happening.
But he’d already told her that a dozen times, so he didn’t bother repeating himself.
As if sensing his irritation, Genna shifted onto his lap. Liking how she fit the
re, he wrapped his arms around her waist, but his frown didn’t budge.
“You going to be okay with this?”
“With what? Sitting on your lap? Or playing messenger for the mayor?” she asked with a teasing smile.
He didn’t give a damn about the mayor.
“With the crap from your parents. I don’t like you taking heat for seeing me.”
Her sigh was a work of art, complete with a roll of those pretty blue eyes and a tap of her fingernails against his shoulder. Damn, she was cute.
“My father isn’t punishing me for seeing you,” she finally said. “I told you, I’m the one who told him to stay away unless he could accept my career decision. Not the other way around.”
“Are you thinking he’ll try scare tactics when the freeze-out doesn’t work?”
“Maybe,” she said with a shrug. “But I told you, I’ve already figured out how to counter it if he does. I bartered a cake with a gal who does web design for her son’s graduation. She’s already working on an online store for me.”
“Look, I don’t want you to worry about the money stuff or let it slow down your progress. I know you’re set for the next few months, but if you run into trouble, let me know. I can help out.” He might not have a clue what he was doing with his life, any idea of where he fit in the world now or even where he’d be sleeping in six months.
But if he could help Genna make her dream come true, he figured he was set.
* * *
HE WANTED TO HELP HER?
“You’re serious?” she breathed.
It wasn’t a proposal, or a big emotional declaration. To Genna, it was even more. It was a promise that he’d be around. That they had a future, whatever that might look like.
Her heart melted in her chest, warm, soft and gooey. Unable to resist, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him tight.
Her smile was wide enough to split her face when she pulled away to brush a quick kiss over his lips. Then, happier than she could remember, she shook her head.
“No, but thank you.”
“What? Why not?” Brody scowled.
“That is the sweetest offer and I appreciate it.” Probably more than he wanted. But that was just one more reason she was madly in love with him. And yet another reason to be careful to protect herself. It was enough that her heart counted on him. She couldn’t risk her business, too. “But you stepped in to save me once. I don’t want that to be the basis for our relationship, you know?”
“I thought the basis for our relationship was sex,” he teased.
“Exactly,” she said with a relieved laugh. “Why mess with a good thing?”
He nodded, but the serious look didn’t leave his eyes. “Fine. You go it alone. But if you run into trouble, let me help you. I’ve got plenty saved up. I can afford to buy my way into a lifetime supply of cookies to keep you from losing your dream.”
Her eyes soft, she reached out to cup his cheek in one hand and kiss him again.
“You are so sweet,” she said when she lifted her lips from his.
“The hell I am.”
He looked so embarrassed, she decided to give him a break and change the subject.
“Did you want to see the site design?” Shuffling papers, she grabbed the sketch pad. “Maybe tell me what you think of the colors and logo we’re doing?”
“You’re kidding, right?” Brody gave her a pained expression. “You want a taste tester, I’m your guy. But you start talking colors and decorations and crap, I’m outta here.”
“I’ve been horrible, haven’t I?” she said with a laugh, tossing the sketch pad aside. “Not only do I keep asking you all these questions you have no interest in answering, but I’ve had you try every recipe I’ve made in the last week.”
“Well, you’ve kept me pretty well compensated,” he mused, that sexy glint in his eyes making Genna shiver. She loved how he looked at her. As if she were the key to his every sexual fantasy.
“Would you like a little compensation right now?” she asked in a teasing tone, shifting so she was straddling his body, her hands anchored on the couch behind his head.
“Sounds good,” he murmured against her throat. His kisses sent shivers through her, but it was the hot rod pressing against his zipper that had her all kinds of excited.
“What’d you have in mind?” she said, sliding against his erection in a slow, undulating move that was making it hard to breathe.
“A cookie.”
What? Genna pulled back to look at him. His smile was as huge as the hard length pressing against her aching core. Laughing, she leaned in to kiss him, reveling in the taste and texture of his mouth before shifting back just a little.
“You can have a cookie afterward,” she promised.
Before she could get started, though, his cell phone rang. As much for the fun of wiggling in his lap as to be helpful, she reached around to grab it off the side table.
“I’ve already had my way with you once today,” she said, placing a teasing kiss on his chin. “Go ahead and take your call. I’ll compensate you afterward.”
“No.”
Brody stared at the readout. The phone went silent, then black before he blinked, then tossed it onto the coffee table. It bounced twice before skidding into the popcorn bowl. Genna tensed, looking at the phone, then back at Brody’s face. He didn’t appear angry. Just distant.
“Is everything okay?” she asked quietly. She didn’t want to pry. But she couldn’t ignore how upset he seemed.
“Fine.” He blinked, and it was as if she’d imagined the closed look on his face. In its place now was a cheerfully charming smile.
She frowned.
Brody didn’t do cheerful.
Something was definitely wrong.
“That was Blake,” he said, giving a first name to the “Lt. Landon” she’d seen on the screen. “He’s got some irritating mother-hen tendencies.”
“So he’s calling to check on you?”
“Probably.” Brody shrugged. “I don’t feel like talking, though.”
Shock. Brody Lane didn’t want to talk?
Genna knew she should ignore her nagging sense of worry. But since she doubted his teammate was calling to discuss feelings, relationships or their rocky past, she couldn’t. Not when he looked so unhappy. But whatever was bothering him, she knew he wouldn’t share.
So maybe she should ask about what was bothering her. Nervous, but knowing she’d never get a better opportunity, she swallowed hard and forced herself to say, “So... You’ll be going back soon.”
He grunted. She took it as a yes.
“I know you don’t get to say where you’ll live or how long you’re in any one place.” And it wasn’t as if she was asking to follow him around. Although she would if he asked. “Do you think, maybe once in a while between missions. If, you know, you’re stationed at Coronado. If, maybe, you’d come back and visit?”
Genna mentally cringed. The only way she could sound more hesitant and unsure was if she’d thrown in a whining tone with all those maybes.
Brody didn’t cringe, though. Nor did he get that distant look that told her she’d stepped into classified territory. Instead, he gave her a long stare, then smiled.
She wasn’t sure why the smile made her want to cry.
“I’ve got some career options ahead. I’ve decided not to re-up in May. I’d be leaving the navy. So maybe instead of visiting, we can just see each other all the time.”
Genna stared, her mind spinning.
She’d hoped, in that way-back secret corner of her mind, that the option of an online business would make it easier for her to keep her dream if she just so happened to be following Brody from base to base.
But now Brody was leaving the navy? He was moving back. And he wanted a relationship with her. Not just a “distance, naughty letters, and the occasional phone call or conjugal visit” kind of a relationship. But a day-in-and-day-out one.
She wasn’t sure if she s
hould giggle, jump up and down with happiness, or freak out.
“You cool with this?” he said after a solid minute of her mindless staring.
Genna yanked herself out of the reverie, starting to smile. Like a blooming flower, joy spread through her bright and shiny. The smile turned to a grin, then into a giggle.
For the second time that evening she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him close while the giddy laughter poured through her.
“Cool with it?” she asked, so excited she’d have bounced in his lap if she wasn’t worried about damaging anything she was going to want to celebrate with soon. “I’m so happy and so excited. I love you so much.”
She froze.
Her smile disappeared and the giggles fled.
No. She wanted to grab those words back. Her mind raced, trying to think of some way to play them off, or something to say that’d be shocking enough to make him forget she’d said that. But she couldn’t come up with anything more outrageous than blurting out her love.
Cringing, she watched Brody’s face.
Instead of looking distant, though, his eyes softened.
He ran one hand through her hair, his fingers tangling in the strands by her ear as he pulled her mouth to his. The kiss was so soft, so sweet, Genna swore they were floating on a cloud. Fear fled, worry faded. All that was left was the most intense sense of happiness.
Brody shifted, so she was on her back on the couch and he was poised over her. Their clothes disappeared between kisses, their breath mingled, quickening as their hands slid over each other. Except for the time it took to slip on a condom, Brody’s mouth never left hers.
Fully embedded, he slowly pulled away to meet her gaze, his expression filled with the same emotions she felt churning through her.
Then he started moving. Slow and sweet.
And whispered, “I love you, too.”
* * *
SO THIS WAS WHAT it felt like to have your dreams come true. Brody loved her. And he was happy that she loved him. Even in her favorite fantasies over the years, she’d always figured that if she ever accidentally let that slip, he’d run faster than a bullet left a gun.
But he hadn’t. He’d smiled. He’d said he loved her back. And then he’d made the sweetest love to her as if in testament to their words. It was the most amazing feeling. As if someone had reached inside her heart and lit the happiness light as bright as it could be.
