Kelsey allowed him to thrust his tongue into her mouth, realizing that this type of healing was all he would allow her to give him, and it broke her heart all over again because he deserved better. He just wasn’t willing to allow her to help him come to terms with what he had experienced yet. Determination filled her as that thought burst into her mind, echoing with the need to heal him. He was beginning to matter to her and she wasn’t going to leave him wallowing in a pit of self-destruction.
Burner was feeling primal as his teeth tugged at her bottom lip, his poison burning inside him as he thought of all the things he wanted to protect her from. He couldn’t bear to tell her that some of those girls he’d watched being raped were little more than children or that he’d seen women so broken they weren’t right in the head anymore. Burner shoved all those thoughts back, burying them behind the wall he kept them locked behind as he sank into her sweetness, trying to use it to leach some of the toxin from his blood.
He nipped at her skin feeling the softness of it as he kissed down to her breasts lapping at her nipples. His hands were rough as they gripped her hips and he knew he couldn’t bear to watch her pleasure and not get wrapped up in her and end up holding her like he had a moment ago. He couldn’t handle another tender moment like the one he’d experienced only moments before she asked him that question so he flipped her around onto her hands and knees before him. Kelsey allowed his manipulation of her body without protest, making him feel a little savage. He brushed her hair from her neck and pushed his cock against her welcoming folds feeling the wetness that greeted him.
Even with satisfaction roaring through him when he felt her body envelope his in her heat, he almost detested that she was allowing his rough treatment of her. He gripped her hips and began a tight heavy rhythm that had them both panting. He rubbed his finger against her clit to increase her pleasure as he roughly moved in and out of her, trying to prove to himself and her that this wasn’t anything except sex. He should let her go but that wasn’t an option with his possessiveness so strong it was like another person in the room with them.
Burner stared down at her back as she pushed back into him as he slammed into her hot pussy. Little moans escaped her becoming a symphony of pleasure that ripped into him like claws as primitive need assaulted him. He grunted when he heard her cry out his name as her orgasm broke over her. Her head fell to the pillows and her body trembled around him, tightening around his throbbing dick.
His hands were suddenly greedy on her flesh, running up to cup one of her breasts and playing with her pearled nipple as he continued to move inside her forcefully. Burner knew he was likely leaving bruises on her tender flesh but he was too far gone to care because his orgasm was hovering just out of reach. Grunting, he leaned forward to press against her back as his movements become harder, moving his hand from her breast to her waist so that his finger could again rub her button. He needed to feel her come around him again or he was going to go mad.
When she moaned, her body pushing back into his again, he knew she was close and pressed just hard enough that she was pushed over the edge. Her body jerked beneath his as he pumped into her feeling her tighten around him and his own climax burst through him in a roar of sensuality he could barely stand. He fell forward and pressed against her, his arm still around her waist as he tried to catch his breath, resting there for a long moment.
Burner stared at her back as he lifted up slightly before pulling free. He felt anger coursing through his veins because he’d turned her around. He should have watched the way her eyes darkened and her lips parted as she thrashed her head when she came. He’d thought turning her around would make him feel less possessive of her but it had the opposite effect. He now felt cheated, almost desperate to see her come again. It was like he’d been denied something he needed and it ripped him up.
He wouldn’t take her like that again despite the tightness of her body in that position, not unless he moved a mirror into place so he could watch her. He felt his dick twitch as that idea expanded inside him. He liked seeing that blissed-out look on her face and he found that he craved it all fucking day. Taking her from behind had also prevented him from watching her tits sway as he pumped her full of his cock.
He released her to stand beside the bed, stepping back from her, and his chest suddenly felt tight. Kelsey moved slightly, her eyes not meeting his as she rolled over and the tightness became a dark rumble that he knew would probably frighten her. Burner watched her slowly rise from the bed likely thinking he was done with ravaging her for the night after their conversation earlier, but he wasn’t even close to finished with her.
“I’m just going to get a shower,” she said, her eyes on the door of the bathroom no doubt thinking it would be an escape. He realized watching her that he shouldn’t have told her the truth about what he was and then fucked her so impersonally because it had frightened her. Burner knew that was why her eyes wouldn’t meet his and she was thinking to escape by showering. He almost snorted because she wasn’t going anywhere without him, even if it was only the fucking bathroom, at least not until he felt less possessive and needy.
This must be what Juice addicts felt, this tight demand that curled in his guts telling him to get inside her again. He might have taken her twice already but he was not nearly done with her. He couldn’t remember a time when he felt this insanely desperate before, certainly not with any other woman he had slept with. He gazed at her tits as she moved away from the bed heading to the shower and he followed her, his eyes hungrily glued to them.
“Umm, why are you following me?” Kelsey asked nervously, her eyes darting up to meet his then away, likely from the intensity of his and her new-born fear of him. His hands curled and his body tensed because despite trying to make her fear him earlier, now that he’d accomplished it he found he didn’t like it.
Not one damned bit.
“We’re getting a shower. I’m going to help you get clean and when we’re finished I’m going to take you back to bed and get you dirty and nasty all over again.” Burner couldn’t help the gruffness of his voice as he spoke. He watched a blush trail over her skin with fascination, liking the way it turned her cheeks pink before moving downward.
“I thought you’d––leave now,” she said, looking at him through her lashes shyly.
“That’s not happening, at least not until I’ve marked every inch of your body. I’m not nearly done with you yet.”
“You––but we just had sex twice,” Kelsey said looking adorably confused and he grinned.
“I know and it wasn’t enough,” Burner informed her.
She stared at him in disbelief for a long moment before she nodded and turned, heading into the bathroom without another word, surprising him. He’d expected her to fight him more than that and it pissed him off a little that she hadn’t because it meant that what he’d told her earlier had likely frightened her more than he realized. He found he didn’t like that either as he followed her into the bathroom where she’d turned on the shower.
Chapter Seventeen
Three days after he’d told Kelsey what he’d done while with the Headhunters MC, he sat at the clubhouse mulling over the past few days. He needed to get a handle on his addiction to her because she deserved a better man than him. Shifting to the side, he felt gutted by the constant hamster-wheeling his brain had been doing for the past few days. Burner had tried to just fuck her and leave but always found himself needing to hold her, talk to her, or just be with her.
That was the reason he was so addicted, he realized, because with her the voices weren’t screaming in his ears. He didn’t see the horror on their faces or hear them begging him to let them go. Burner found that when he was with her, he was just Burner for however long he held her but the moment she was out of his arms it all came flooding back. It was why his drug was touching her because it freed him in a way he hadn’t been free in a long time.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Hammer’s voice asked from th
e doorway to the game room, making him look up at the other man in confusion. “That,” he said, stabbing a finger at the gun Burner had been spinning around on the table without even realizing it.
“Huh, it’s just a habit I got into when I was with the Headhunters,” Burner told him spinning it around again.
“Tell me that thing isn’t loaded,” Hammer commanded, looking at him as if he were some deranged nutter.
“Of course it’s not loaded. I’m not suicidal.”
“You checked the chamber, right?” Hammer demanded.
“Yes, it’s empty. Again, not suicidal,” Burner muttered, but what he didn’t tell Hammer was that he had done this very thing with a loaded one several times trying to see if fate would take him for the things he’d done. For a while he had been in a dark place while he was with the Headhunters. Burner snorted; he was still in a bad place now if he was doing this again. It wouldn’t be long before he chose not to check the chamber and spun it to see what would happen and that was why he shouldn’t be anywhere near Kelsey. He knew that the venomous toxin in his soul was too volatile.
“Thank fuck. I was beginning to wonder. You’ve been acting odd all week. Thought you’d gone off the deep end there for a moment.” Hammer chuckled before he stated, “That’s still crazy as fuck, man.”
Burner nodded watching Hammer leave the room, unsure what to say to his parting words because he couldn’t say that Hammer was wrong about this being fucked up. Burner twisted the gun again watching it twirl round and round, reminding him that fate was like the spinning gun in a way. Fate coiled you up until you were unsure which way was up and that was when it hit you with the one thing you would have liked to avoid. Fate was just as much of a bitch as karma was.
Lock walked into the game room carrying a bottle of Jack, which he took a swig of before moving to sit down next to him at the little table.
“What are you doing?” he asked watching the gun.
“Just thinking.”
“Is that thing loaded?” Lock asked.
“Nope,” Burner responded, wondering what the man wanted because they sure weren’t friends lately.
For the past few months Lock had been an asshole. He was hard to be around and started fights with nearly everyone. No one knew what the hell was up with him but Reaper was starting to lose patience with his bullshit. Burner was likely one of the only ones who could understand him to an extent because he knew what it was like to carry around more than you could reasonably handle. What he didn’t understand was why Lock had to be an asshole about it.
“Want a drink?” Lock asked holding out the bottle to him.
Burner took the Jack, taking a swig of it before passing it back to him. Lock took it and drank some more before setting it on the table and grabbing a deck of cards out of the drawer. He began to shuffle them while Burner continued to play with the gun.
“Poker?” Lock asked holding the deck out to him.
Burner shrugged. “Sure.”
Burner’s fist slammed into Lock’s jaw, blood splattering his shirt from Lock’s busted nose. His ears were ringing from the last blow he’d received but the release it offered was worth every second of the pain. He rammed his shoulder into Lock’s stomach, taking him down, slamming him to the floor of the clubhouse. Lock let out a snarl and kicked him in the shin before rolling Burner onto his back, slamming his right hook into Burner’s face.
Burner felt his jaw crack and he wondering absently if Lock had just broken it before he gained the upper hand and fired his fist into Lock’s stomach. Lock grabbed his arm wrenching it hard and elbowing him in the chest. Burner twisted trying to avoid it and sent them both crashing into the table, breaking it. Cards scattered over the floor and the bottle of half-empty Jack shattered on the floor, covering them in brown liquid and shards of broken glass.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Reaper roared, his arm wrapping around Burner’s neck, ripping him off Lock’s chest where he was sitting.
Bull grabbed Lock, jerking him back when he would have followed to hit Burner again. Burner fought the hold Reaper had on his throat, trying to break free so he could finish beating the fuck out of the son of a bitch. Burner was slammed hard into the wall with Reaper’s arm over his throat holding him there.
“I asked you a fucking question, Burner.”
“He started it,” Lock howled, fighting Bull’s hold on him.
“Fucking pussy, don’t matter who started it,” Burner spat at him, his eyes narrowed on the other man.
“I am not going to ask this again, motherfuckers. What the fuck is going on here?” Reaper snarled, glaring at Burner for a moment before turning it on Lock.
“I just asked the fuck-wit what he was doing with the bitch he was pounding and suddenly he tackled me. Fucker could have just said she was off limits,” Lock grunted, finally seeming to calm down enough to speak rationally.
“I just didn’t like the dipshit’s tone,” Burner grumbled, shoving Reaper off him and using his arm to wipe his bleeding lip.
“Stop, now.”
Burner turned to eye Reaper because he had that cold tone they all knew meant Reaper was beyond pissed. He watched Reaper grab the sides of his hair and jerk on it, looking a little crazed for a minute before he turned to the other four men in the room with them and commanded, “Everyone out.”
Burner knew he wasn’t included in this command so he leaned on the wall where Reaper had slammed him a moment ago as the other men left. Lock tried to stay but Bull jerked him out the door, although not before the other man spoke.
“If you don’t get that dog under control, Reaper, he’s going to cause this whole club to implode.” Burner would have gone for his throat if Reaper hadn’t jerked him back. Lock didn’t have a lot of room to talk; he was just as guilty of making the club implode as Burner was.
“Go, Lock. We will discuss this later and you need to figure out if you’re going to continue on this path you’re headed down because I can tell you that I am not amused by the shit you’re pulling lately. It will stop or things are not going to go your way. Now leave.” Lock glared at Reaper for a long moment before he let Bull shove him out the door, his face contorted into a sour expression.
When the door closed behind them, Reaper just stared at it for a long moment before turning to face him. Burner sat down on the couch, testing his jaw to find it wasn’t broken but when he pulled his hand away he saw that his knuckles were bloody and busted open. And if the pain over his right eye was any indication, he was likely going to end up with a black eye too. Lock may be a shitty fighter but he had a mean right hook when he managed to land it.
“Why?”
Burner glanced up at Reaper as he stood by the pool table with his hands resting on the edge while he leaned back on it. Burner wanted to tell him that he couldn’t stand Lock talking about Kelsey the way he had but it wasn’t the other man’s fault; he hadn’t patched her so to the club, all she could be labeled as was free pussy. Burner felt the red hot fire roaring through him, clawing at his insides like a demon when he thought about it.
“He just annoyed me,” Burner spat out, unable to tell Reaper the truth without admitting that he felt strongly for Kelsey. Reaper would demand to know why he hadn’t patched her if he felt that way about her but he knew that he couldn’t do that to Kelsey. Nobody deserved to be saddled with a lost cause like him.
“Fuck me, that’s what you’re going with? Fuck, Burner. When are you going to stop self-destructing like this? Because at this point I don’t know that Lock’s completely wrong about you.” Reaper crossed his arms over his chest watching him with a sad look in his eyes.
“What?”
“Burner, this has to stop. There’s only so much I can allow you to get away with and you damned well know it.” Reaper sounded tired, making Burner feel guilty for not being able to handle his fucked-up life. “And one of my men self-destructing is enough. I don’t need you going down Lock’s road too.”
Reape
r paused, watching him as if he expected him to say something, but after a long pause he let out a loud sigh.
“If you weren’t sergeants, this would have already gotten you both thrown out of the damned club and both of you know it. You also know that shit comes with a fucking bullet between the eyes, damn it. Lock’s almost burnt that bridge. I might have to knock him back to prospect if he keeps this up. After that, I don’t have a fucking choice if he keeps doing this bullshit. I’ll have no choice but to take him out. Fuck, I don’t need this shit. We have enough to worry about with the Headhunters stealing women. You two assholes are making my flipping head hurt.” Reaper shook his head, his eyes closing briefly before he opened them to glare at him.
Burner stared back at him, again feeling that sense of guilt tear through his guts. He hated that his actions were messing with the club and its stability. He laid his head back into the couch he had collapsed into looking at the ceiling.
“I get it. I’ll work on not starting shit for a little while.”
“No, you’ll need to work on not doing it at all, Burner. Fuck, you aren’t with the Headhunters anymore and this shit don’t work here. Get your head on straight however that needs to happen. Capisce?” Reaper stood up, moving over to the mess on the floor and staring down at the wood and broken glass with a frown. “What a damned mess. I liked that table too, damn it.”
“Sorry,” Burner said, feeling his busted lip sting when he formed the words, making him wince. He felt like a total asshole as he took in the damage he and Lock had done while fighting. Shit, they really had made a fucking mess of the game room.
Chapter Eighteen
Kelsey moved into the bedroom, pulling her hair free from the tie she’d put it up with when she’d left this morning for her normal weekly shopping trip. Since Burner had started hanging around, she had to keep more food on hand and her bi-weekly trips had become weekly. She smiled as she shook out her hair because feeding Burner was almost a fulltime job. He liked to eat and she found herself cooking for him, although he didn’t have any idea that she was doing it. She would make it before she went to work, putting it into a container as if it were leftovers, and he would warm them up at night when they came home
Burning Desires (Blue Bandits MC Book 4) Page 16
