by Anne Bishop
Page 49
Pulling his wings in tight, Lucivar carefully circled around the shield until he stood in front of her.
The Black Jewel around her neck glowed with deadly fire.
He shook, not sure if he was afraid for himself or for her. He closed his eyes and made rash promises to the Darkness to keep from being sick on the spot.
Having lived in Terreille most of his life, he recognized someone who had been tortured. He didn't think she'd been physically harmed, but there were subtle kinds of abuse that were just as destructive. Certainly, her body had paid a terrible price over the past four days. The weight she'd put on had been consumed along with the muscle she'd built up by working with him. Her skin was stretched too tight over her face and looked fragile enough to tear. Her eyes . . .
He couldn't stand what he saw in those eyes.
She sat there, quietly bleeding to death from a soul wound, and he didn't know how to help her, didn't know if there was anything hecould do that would help her.
"Cat?" he called softly. "Cat?"
He felt her revulsion when she finally looked at him, saw the emotions writhing and twisting in those haunted, bottomless eyes.
She blinked. Sank her teeth into her lower lip hard enough to draw blood. Blinked again. "Lucivar. " Neither a question nor a statement, but an identification painfully drawn up from some deep well inside her. "Lucivar. " Tears filled her eyes. "Lucivar?" A plea for comfort.
"Drop the shield, Cat. " He watched her struggle to understand him. Sweet Darkness, she was so young. "Drop the shield. Let me in. "
The shield dissolved. So did she. But she was in his arms before the first heart-tearing sob began. He settled them in the rocking chair and held her tight, murmuring soothing nothings, trying to rub warmth into icy limbs.
When the sobs eased to sniffles, he rubbed his cheek against her hair. "Cat, I think I should take you to your father's house. "
"No!" She pushed at him, struggling to get free.
Her nails could have opened him to the bone. The venom in her snake tooth could have killed him twice over. One surge of the Black Jewels could have blown apart his inner barriers and left him a drooling husk.
Instead, she struggled futilely against a stronger body. That told him more about her temperament than anything else she might have done—and also explained why this had happened in the first place. Her temper had probably slipped once and the result had scared the shit out of her. Now she didn't trust herself to displayany anger—even in self-defense. Well, hecould do something aboutthat.
"Cat—"
"No. " She gave one more push. Then, too weak to fight anymore, she collapsed against him.
"Why?" He could think of one reason she was afraid to go home.
The words spilled out of her. "I know I look bad. I know. That's why I can't go home now. If Papa saw me, he'd be upset. He'd want to know what happened, and I can't tell him that, Lucivar. I can't. He'd be so angry, and he'd have another fight with the Dark Council and they'd just cause more trouble for him. "
To Lucivar's way of thinking, having her father explode in a murderous rage over what had been done to her would be all to the good. Unfortunately, Jaenelle didn't share his way of thinking. She'd rather endure something that devastated her than cause trouble between her beloved papa and the Dark Council. That might suit her and the Dark Council and her papa, but it didn't suit him.
"That's not good enough, Cat," he said, keeping his voice low. "Either you tell me what happened, or I bundle you up and take you to your father right now. "
Jaenelle sniffed. "You don't know where he is. "
"Oh, I'm sure if I create enough of a fuss, someone will be happy to tell me where to find the Warlord Prince of Dhemlan. "
Jaenelle studied his face. "You're a prick, Lucivar. "
He smiled that lazy, arrogant smile. "I told you that the first time we met. " He waited a minute, hoping he wouldn't have to prod her and knowing he would. "Which is it going to be, Cat?"
She squirmed. He could understand that. If someone had cornered him the way he'd cornered her, he'd squirm, too. He sensed she wanted physical distance between them be-
fore explaining, but he figured he'd hear something closer to the truth if she remained captured on his lap.
Finally giving up, she fluffed her hair and signed. "When I was twelve, I was hurt very badly—"
Was that how they had explained the rape to her? Being hurt?
"—and Papa became my legal guardian. " She seemed to have a hard time breathing, and her voice thinned until, even sitting that close, he had to strain to hear her. "I woke up—came back to my body—two years later. I . . . was different when I came back, but Papa helped me rebuild my life piece by piece. He found teachers for me and encouraged my old friends to visit and he u-understood me. " Her voice turned bitter. "But the Dark Council didn't think Papa was a suitable guardian and they tried to take me away from him and the rest of the family, so I stopped them and they had to let me stay with Papa. "
Stopped them. Lucivar turned over the possibilities of how she could have stopped them. Apparently, she hadn't done quite enough.
"To placate the Council, I agreed to spend one week each season socializing with the aristo families in Little Terreille. "
"Which doesn't explain why you came back in this condition," Lucivar said quietly. He rubbed her arm, trying to warm her up. He was sweating. She still shivered.
"It's like living in Terreille again," she whispered. The haunted look filled her eyes. "No, worse than that. It's like living in—" She paused, puzzled.
"Even aristos in Little Terreille have to eat," he said gently.
Her eyes glazed over. Her voice sounded hollow. "Can't trust the food. Never trust the food. Even if you test it, you can't always sense the badness until it's too late. Can't sleep. Mustn't sleep. But they get to you anyway. Lies are true, and truth is punished. Bad girl. Sick-mind girl to make up such lies. "
An icy fist pressed into Lucivar's lower back as he wondered what nightmare in the inner landscape she was wandering through right now.
Capturing her chin between his thumb and finger, Lucivar turned her head, forcing her to look at him. "You're not a bad girl, you're not sick, and you don't lie," he said firmly.
She blinked. Confusion filled her eyes. "What?"
Would she understand if he told her what she'd said? He doubted it. "So the food is lousy and you don't sleep well. That still doesn't explain why you came back in this shape. What did they do to you, Cat?"
"Nothing," she whispered, closing her eyes. Her throat worked convulsively. "It's just that boys expect to be kissed and—"
"They expectwhat?" Lucivar snarled.
"—I'm f-f-frigid and—"
"Frigid!" Lucivar roared, ignoring her frightened squeak. "You're seventeen years old. Those strutting little sons of whoring bitches shouldn't be tryinganything with you that would even bring up the question of whether or not you're 'frigid. ' And where in the name of Hell were the chaperons?"
He rocked furiously, petting her hair with one hand while his other arm tightened protectively around her. Her yip of pain when he accidentally pinched her arm snapped him out of a red haze. He muttered an apology, resettled her in his lap, and began rocking at a more soothing tempo. After a couple of minutes, he shook his head.
"Frigid," he said with a snort of disgust. "Well, Cat, if objecting to having someone slobber on you or grope and squeeze you is their definition of frigid, then I'm frigid, too. They have no right to use you, no matter what they say. Any man who tells you otherwise deserves a knife between the ribs. " He gave her a considering look, then shook his head. "You'd probably find it hard to gut a man. That's all right. I don't. "
Jaenelle stared at him, wide-eyed.
He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and massaged gently. "Listen to me, Cat, because I'll only say this once. You're
the finest Lady I've ever met and the dearest friend I've ever had. Besides that, I love you like
a brother, and any bastard who hurts my little sister is going to answer to me. "
"Y-you can't," she whispered. "The agreement—'" "I'm not part of that damn agreement. " He gave her a little shake, wondering how he could get that frail, bruised look out of her eyes. Then he squelched a grin. He'd do what he'd do with any feline he wanted to spark—rub her the wrong way. "Besides, Lady," he said in a courteous snarl, "you broke a solemn promise to me, and breaking a promise to a Warlord Prince is a serious offense. "
Her eyes flashed fire. He could almost feel her back arch and the nonexistent fur stand on end. Maybe he wouldn't have to dig that hard to bring a little of her temper to the surface. "I never did!"
"Yes, you did. I distinctly remember teaching you what to do—"
"They weren't standing behind me!" Lucivar narrowed his eyes. "You don't have any human male friends?" "Of course I do!"
"And not one of them has ever taken you behind the barn and taught you what to do with your knee?" Her fingernails suddenly required her attention. "That's what I thought," Lucivar said dryly. "So I'll give you a choice. If one of those fine, rutting aristo males does something you don't like, you can give him a hard knee in the balls or I can start with his feet and end with his neck and break every bone in between. " "You couldn't. "
"It's not that difficult. I've done it before. " He waited a minute, then tapped her chin. She closed her mouth.
Then she seemed to shrink into herself. "But, Lucivar," she said weakly, "what if it's my fault that he's aroused and needs relief?"
He snorted, amused. "You didn't actually fall for that, did you?"
