Where I Want To Be

by Maryam Diaab

  She took one final look in the mirror and pulled her orange terrycloth robe over her lingerie to add a bit of mystery. Men always wanted what they couldn’t have, and that was exactly the reaction she was going for. She wanted Kevin to want her. The guest of honor hit the brass doorknocker three times, and Alexis blew a kiss at her reflection and went to the door to let him in.

  “Hey, baby. How are you?” Kevin asked, looking curiously at the almost frumpy robe covering Alexis’s body. He bent to kiss her and tried to peek inside the robe.

  “Will you stop that?” she said, playfully smacking Kevin’s hand away from her robe. “You need to learn patience. I make the rules tonight. You will see what’s under this when I’m good and ready, and not a second before.” She took Kevin’s black Coach briefcase from his hands and placed it on the floor beside the couch.

  “So it’s like that? You run the show? Well, what exactly are you running? And what’s under that ugly-ass robe?”

  “Number one, my robe is not ugly; it’s comfortable. And number two, because I run the show, I make the rules, and you need to just follow along and enjoy the ride.”

  “So there will be riding involved?” Kevin asked, smiling slyly.

  “Your problem is that you have a one-track dirty mind. I made dinner, and I want you to sit down here,” Alexis commanded, pointing to the chaise lounge. Kevin smiled again and sat down as instructed.

  Alexis went to the kitchen and bought out a platter of lobster tails and butter. She sat next to Kevin and tearing pieces of meat from the shell, and dipping them in the butter. She placed a succulent morsel into Kevin’s mouth. “Tell me about your day.”

  Kevin looked at Alexis and sized up the situation. From the sensual aura of the apartment to the orange robe she kept tied, he could tell that tonight she meant business. She had a hidden agenda, and he knew it.

  He chose his words carefully. “I had an eight a.m. meeting with the mayor today to discuss that little situation he’s been trying to dodge. That lasted about two hours. Then I went back to the office to check on the employees, as well as on the status of that new jazz club account I’ve been telling you about. We’re trying to plan its opening, and the owner is being really difficult. So I really have to stay on top of my staff to make sure they are giving the client what he wants, but are not getting run over in the process. After that, I went to lunch with a client at The Loving Spoonful, went back to the office and now I’m here.”

  Alexis put another bite of lobster tail into Kevin’s mouth and licked the extra butter off her fingers slowly and enticingly. She smiled secretly when she saw the bulge inside his pants grow.

  “And how was your day?” he asked, easing one hand up under the robe and caressing her bare thigh while the other hand moved to uncover what was under wraps. She swatted his hand away, but not before he glimpsed the swell of her bronzed cleavage, feeling his dick grow a little bit harder and a little bit longer.

  “My day was okay.” Alexis told Kevin about her conversation with Claire, her upcoming birthday trip down to New Orleans and her yoga workout.

  “I hate that you’re going to be gone for nearly an entire week. Why don’t you stay here and let me do something special for you on your birthday?” he asked, now running both hands along Alexis’s body through the thick fabric of the robe.

  “Kevin, Claire and Morgan have been planning this trip for months, and I really want to go. We have tickets to the Rhythm and Blues Festival, and you know how great those concerts are. Besides, I’ll only be gone for a few days, and you know what they say: ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder,’ ” Alexis cajoled, popping a bit of lobster tail into her own mouth.

  Kevin kissed her neck, again attempting to look into her robe. Getting ever closer to his goal, he saw the vibrant blue lacy fabric and the way her breast nearly spilled out the top. At this point, his dick grew to maximum capacity, and it was taking all his willpower not to take off that robe and bury his face into Alexis’s chest.

  “Why are you doing this to me?” he asked, moaning and rubbing his dick through the smooth fabric of his pants.

  “I’m not doing anything,” Alexis responded innocently. “I’m just trying to give my man a delicious and relaxing dinner after a very hard day at work. Now is there anything wrong with that?”

  “No, baby, of course not.”

  “Good. Now if my memory serves me correctly, you said that you have something special for me?”

  “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. It’s in my briefcase.” Kevin retrieved his briefcase from the floor and removed the robin’s egg blue box that every woman loves to see. “Happy birthday.”

  Alexis looked at the long box in her hand and was fairly certain it contained a watch or bracelet. She smiled at Kevin and kissed him before opening the box. Alexis smiled delightedly as she lifted the platinum heart and key bracelet from the cotton cushioning. He took the gift from her hands and placed it around her wrist.

  “Kevin, you are so sweet. I know that thank you is not enough, but thank you,” Alexis gushed, looking down at the bracelet.

  “Anything for you, Alexis. I’ve told you how I feel about you and our relationship. I want to take care of you and shower you with the finer things in life. This,” he said, lightly touching the bracelet, “is just the beginning.”

  Feeling overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness and generosity, Alexis decided to stop playing games and show him just how much she appreciated his kindness. Placing the half-eaten platter of lobster on the coffee table, Alexis rose and looked at Kevin intently. Standing up, she slowly began to loosen the belt around the robe, watching Kevin’s reaction as she let it fall from her shoulders into a heap around her stiletto-clad feet.

  “Damn! Don’t you look delicious?” Kevin asked, removing his jacket and tie as Alexis stood before him.

  Hands on her shapely hips, she did a little twirl to give him the full effect. “I take it you like what you see?” she asked seductively.

  “Like is definitely not the word for how I feel right now.”

  “And exactly what word would you use to describe what you’re feeling right now?” she asked, kneeling in front of him and removing his belt.

  “Lucky.”

  “Well, I’m glad, because all this,” she said, running her hands down her body, “is for you.” Alexis placed her right hand on Kevin‘s midsection and felt the bulge through the fabric of his pants. He let out a deep moan and began to explore under her lingerie. She involuntarily arched her back, bit her lower lip and felt her body start to tingle and throb from Kevin’s touch.

  “Damn, you feel so good,” he said, looking Alexis in the eye as he rubbed his thumb along her nipple through her bra. Feeling the dampness between her legs, she grasped his free hand and guided it to the spot that always drove her absolutely wild. He gently caressed, stroked and prodded until she could take no more and begged for him to go inside her.

  “I need you,” was all she said before she bent over and removed his pants and boxer shorts in one fast motion. Straddling his lap, she grabbed Kevin’s smooth dick, took a Trojan from the “candy” dish next to the couch, positioned it, and, without reservation, began to bounce on his dick as if it were a trampoline. The more she worked her body, the louder Kevin’s moans became. When he pulled her bra straps from her shoulders and fixed his eyes on her bouncing thirty-four D breasts she knew that he was nearing climax. As Alexis felt Kevin’s body begin to tense and tremble, she decided to try something she had read about but had never tried. She reached behind her and gently cupped Kevin’s balls.

  “Wh-what—what are you doing, girl? Wh-where did you learn—” Kevin was shaking and sweating so much he couldn’t finish his sentence. She moved her body faster as her hand jiggled down below. “I’m not ready yet. This feels too good. Stop. Not yet.”

  Alexis smiled and felt truly powerful as Kevin filled the condom. A few hollers later, he rested his head on her shoulder. “Damn, girl, I’m never leaving your ass.” />
  Mission accomplished.

  3

  WEDDING BELLS

  Alexis was awakened by a loud crashing sound. She shot straight up and looked over on the dresser at the alarm clock. It was 6:05a.m.

  “Why didn’t you wake me up?” Kevin demanded, coming out of the bathroom and frantically pulling his pants over his boxer shorts.

  Alexis rolled her eyes and lay back down, pulling the sheet over her head to hide the smile that had enveloped her face. “I didn’t wake you up because you were sleeping. Waking you up would have been impolite. What’s the big deal, anyway?”

  “The big deal, Alexis,” he began, a tinge of sarcasm in his voice, “is that I have an appointment this morning, and I don’t have a change of clothes.” As she watched in disbelief, he continued pulling on pieces of clothing. Today was Saturday. Kevin made it a point never to work on the weekend, and she knew this.

  “You know what, Kevin? You are full of shit. Today is Saturday, for God’s sake, and I know you don’t work on Saturday or Sunday. If there is some real reason that you refuse to stay the night with me, then just tell me. I may be a couple years younger than you, but I’m a big girl. Believe me, I can take it.” Alexis jumped out of bed and challenged him face to face.

  “Baby, there is absolutely nothing I have to tell you. No secrets. I am just going to be severely late for work if I don’t leave within the next five minutes.”

  She looked at him, shaking her head helplessly. This man was impossible, and he was well on the way to making it that much easier to believe what Morgan and Claire kept telling her.

  Hearing the phone ring, Alexis walked over to her bedside and angrily snatched it up. She was ready to give it to whoever had the gall to call her home this early on a weekend. “Hello?” she hollered into the phone, glaring at Kevin out of the corner of her eye. She needed to get this person off the phone before he tried to make his exit. They had a lot more talking to do.

  The female voice on the other end sounded as if she was crying, and Alexis could barely understand her as she asked, “May I speak with my husband, Kevin Washington please?” Those nine words made Alexis feel as if she had been punched in the chest. All the air rushed from her lungs and she gasped loudly. She had heard the woman, not loudly or clearly, but she had definitely heard her. She had asked for her husband, Kevin Washington. Her Kevin Washington, or rather, the man she thought was hers.

  “Pardon me?” Alexis said, her voice cracking, the lump in her throat causing it to constrict.

  “My husband, Kevin Washington, is he there? The kids woke up this morning asking for him. He normally comes home, but he’s been gone two nights in a row…” she sniffled. Alexis wondered how long the woman had been crying. “I’ve had your number for quite some time. You called his cellphone one day when he was in the shower and I wrote the number down. He often calls out your name in his sleep, so I knew you two must have been seeing each other.”

  Wait one damn minute! Did this woman just say kids? This jackass not only failed to let me know he had a wife but failed to let me know about children as well? And did she just say he hadn’t been home in two nights?

  “Two nights? He’s only been here with me one.” Alexis was both angry and addled.

  “Well, this isn’t the first time he’s gone outside our marriage,” his wife whispered. “How long have you been seeing him?”

  Alexis sat down on the side of the bed feeling as if her legs were about to collapse. She looked around the bedroom for him and heard the jingle of his keys in the living room.

  “We’ve only been seeing each other six months, but this explains a lot. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for this whole situation. I had absolutely no idea. I mean, I am not the kind to date another woman’s husband.” She felt horrible and wanted to let the woman know that he had deceived her as well.

  “Kevin, don’t leave yet. There’s something I really need to talk to you about. It’ll only take a minute, and I promise you won’t be late for your meeting. I just need to finish this phone call,” she said, talking in the sweetest and sincerest voice she could manage under the circumstances.

  “Can you please hurry up? I really need to get out of here!” he said, his frenzy growing, his normally deep voice rising a few octaves as Alexis entered the room with the phone still at her ear.

  The woman heard Kevin’s distinctive voice and began crying louder. “I’m sorry to call your house this early but my husband, the kids—I just don’t know what to do. I love him.”

  “I had absolutely no idea. I was never told because if I had been this would not be happening, I assure you. I truly apologize to you for this misunderstanding,” Alexis reiterated. The lump in her throat had disappeared, replaced by a steady pounding in her head.

  “I figured you didn’t know. I guess he’s playing both of us.”

  Still holding the phone, she slowly walked over to the couch where Kevin was impatiently sitting and sat down next to him. “I guess so,” was all that she could say to the woman, who was obviously and rightfully hurting a lot more than she was.

  “May I speak with him, please?” his wife asked.

  Without comment, she handed the phone over to a startled and confused Kevin. He looked at Alexis questioningly before hesitantly speaking into the phone. Upon hearing the voice at the other end, he refused to look at Alexis as she sat with her arms folded across her chest, feeling the heat of anger rising within her body.

  “Okay, Kimberly. I know. I’m on my way,” Kevin said quietly, hanging his head. Kevin pressed the end button and placed his hand on Alexis’s knee.

  “Don’t touch me, Kevin!” she said with so much hate and anger she barely recognized her own voice.

  “Come on, baby, let me explain.”

  When he reached to touch her knee again, Alexis jumped up off the couch and stared down at him. “I said don’t touch me!” she screamed nearly at the top of her lungs. “Look, asshole, you don’t have anything to explain to me. I can sum up this situation for the both of us. You are a liar and a cheater. You are selfish and self-centered. I honestly wish I would have never met you, and I want you out of my house. NOW!”

  “You want me out of your house? Alexis, don’t you think you’re being a little overdramatic? You haven’t even let me explain the situation,” Kevin said, attempting to plead his case from the couch.

  Alexis stood across from him with her hands on her hips. “Okay, Mr. Washington, let’s hear it. What could you possibly say that is going to justify what you have done not only to me, but more importantly to your wife and children?”

  He took several deep breaths before beginning what Alexis had already concluded would be another lie. “Well, Jessica and I have been married for about five years now. We got married right out of college and only did that because she was pregnant. After K.J. was born, we had another baby right away, a daughter named Mariah. I realized after her birth that I wasn’t really in love with my wife, and the longer we were married, the further apart we drifted. Even though I adore my children, I have been unhappy in my marriage for a long time. When I met you and we started dating I finally began to feel happy again.”

  Alexis laughed bitterly. “Somebody give me a shovel, because right now I’m knee-deep in shit. Do you seriously think that being unhappy with your wife is any kind of excuse? You could have just divorced her instead of being so manipulative and deceitful. You made me believe that you wanted to get married and have kids, Kevin!” she yelled, becoming angrier by the minute. “Well, I guess that joke is on me because you’re already married and you already have kids. And who the hell is Jessica? I could have sworn that you just called your wife Kimberly when you were talking to her on the phone!” she resisted the urge to lunge at him and scratch his eyes out.

  Kevin looked like a man defeated and hung his head in either shame or self-pity; she couldn’t tell which. He stood and took three steps towards her with his hand outstretched. “Okay, no more lies. Jessica is another wo
man that I’ve been seeing on and off for a couple months, but she can’t compare to you. None of them can.”

  “So what you are telling me is that you are not only cheating on your wife but on me, too? You know what, Kevin? You are unbelievable. Out of all the men I have dated, never in my life have I been with someone as despicable as you.”

  “Don’t be that way, Alexis, we can work this out. I am prepared to leave both of them for you. Let’s talk about this.”

  She took a step back from him and laughed again. “Leave both of them for me? Are you listening to yourself? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me, and I am not a shame-on-me type of woman. And why should I be with you? Why should I when I know you’ll just turn around and do the same thing to me after I stretch out my body to push out a couple of your kids? I can do bad all by myself.”

  “I love you, Alexis, don’t you understand that? I want to make you my wife,” Kevin begged, reaching for her hand. She immediately snatched it from his grasp and stepped further back.

  “This is the last time I’m going to ask you to leave.”

  “You’re making a mistake, and I don’t plan to give up on us,” Kevin promised, slowly picking up his briefcase and walking to the door.

  “That’s funny, Kevin, really comical. There is no US; however, there is you, your wife and your kids. Oh, and let me not forget, your girlfriend. And as far as I am concerned, the only mistake I made was getting involved with you.”

  4

  ARE LESBIANS IN?

  “Why didn’t you call me back yesterday? Were you that damn busy?” Morgan asked, as she, Claire and Alexis flipped though the racks at Express, one of their favorite clothing stores. The trio had been shopping since the mall opened at 10 a.m., looking for outfits for their to New Orleans trip. Shopping trips like this were a ritual for them. The day before every trip they took together, they would shop until they dropped. They would follow up by pampering themselves with facials, manicures, pedicures and getting their hair styled at the salon where Morgan worked as head stylist. The three friends loved these outings because they allowed them to accomplish their two favorite things at once—bonding with each other and shopping.